Honest Reflections

“I planted, Apollos watered, but God kept everything growing.” 1 Corinthians 3:6
You know what is annoying?  Pollen!
I had a great day yesterday, productive.  Accomplished a lot.  By the time I went to teach a tennis lesson, my last job of the day, I was ready for a relaxing evening.  Weather was good, not too hot, not too cold.  There was pollen EVERYWHERE.  Those long spindly looking things from the trees.  It wasn’t until after I’d finished teaching that it really started to affect me.  By the time we arrived at our small group my eyes had started to water, I was sneezing and the misery had started.
All because of pollen.  Something so tiny had such a large affect on my evening.  I went from feeling great to feeling lousy in an hour. But we need the pollen to fertilize the plants. Eventually, they become the trees and flowers we love.  They go from ugly little spindly things, or the infamous yellow dusting which covers cars in VA, to a variety of beautiful vegetation in a wonderful array of colors.  It is just part of the growing process.
You know what else is annoying?  Those little grains of truth we receive at unexpected times which cause us to stop and examine ourselves,  our relationship with others and with God.
For instance, yesterday, in the midst of a conversation a trusted friend told me I’m too hard on myself.  It was a random comment which I have been thinking about ever since.  He’s not wrong, I am too hard on myself.  It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life.  I was surprised he had noticed.
For me, it’s a great reminder.  One of the fall outs of me being hard on myself is I can be hard on others.  I struggle with grace, I tend to fall more on the truth side of life.  I’m grateful for the comment, it’s already started to help me not only let myself off the hook, but extend grace to others.
It was the seed I needed to create a larger change.  Something which will result in a beautiful outcome somewhere else down the line.  God’s word often works for us in the same manner.  We’ll read a verse which resonates with us, it strikes a chord.  Hopefully, we’ll pause and think about it.  We’ll pray about it and ask God what He’s telling us through it.  Then as we begin to understand it, we start to apply it to our lives.  Hopefully this begins to bring about a change we didn’t even realize we needed.
Just as pollen is needed to fertilize the plants, we need the truths of God’s people and His word to fertilize our growth.  To spur us on to all God wants and means for us to be.
Growing can be difficult, but it is necessary.  It isn’t always an easy process.  It can be annoying.  It definitely takes time.  But the end result is worth it.  God can do miracles with a tiny seed!
Unfortunately though, we have to endure the pollen to spur on the growth!
 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”   Psalm 121:1-2
My pastor started a new series this week, Hills and Valleys.  It’s talking about when life is good and when life is bad.  There is always the in between.
I am currently in the in between.  I don’t know whether I’m going up the hill or down into the valley.  I wonder how many of us are in the same position?
I run two small businesses.  I teach tennis and I walk dogs.  Both of them require me being on my feet.  I found out yesterday I have a spur at the end of my achilles.  It’s caused by chronic inflammation in the tendon.  In other words, six months ago when it started to bother me, if I’d paid attention to the pain I was feeling, I may not be in this boat.  I could of just rested it then for a few weeks and it would have been fine.
But I didn’t. I ignored the red flags.  Now I’m facing possible surgery and months of recovery.
What if I hadn’t ignored the red flags?  Hindsight is always 20/20.  I wonder why we do it to ourselves?  Why do ignore the signs? The warnings God places in our path to keep us from injuring ourselves?  It can be relationally, physically, financially.  There are so many times we see the symptoms but ignore the problem.
The friend who only calls when they need something and we’re always there.  The boyfriend/girlfriend who only cares about their needs and we push ours aside.  The pain we feel in our achilles but keep playing anyway.  The credit card we can’t pay off at the end of the month but we keep charging.
Just a few examples, and we’re all guilty of it at one point or another.  I can just imagine God looking down on me right now, shaking His head.  “I tried to warn you Beth.  You wouldn’t listen.  How much pain do you have to feel for me to get your attention?”
That’s just heartbreaking.  I think I’m so tight with God, yet sometimes I ignore His most obvious signs.  Thank You God for loving me anyway.  Forgive me for not listening.
I wonder what God is trying to tell you that you’re not hearing?  How much pain do you have to feel before you start listening?  I’m praying it’s not as much as mine!
 

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7
One of my favorite verses, so simple yet all encompassing.  No matter what your anxiety, God can handle it.
It’s Spring Break week in Virginia.  Ironically, I feel like it is more stressful than a normal week.  Everyone seems to be rushing to fit all they can into a seven day period before normal life resumes.
I’ve been busy writing a Bible study.  Wasn’t my plan for this week, but a meeting Monday night put me on this path.  It’s exhilarating when I have clear direction for my writing.  Often times, I struggle to find a topic.
It has been a break for me from my normal routine.  I’ve spent my afternoons writing.  It’s been wonderful, for me, I have found rest.  I’ve cast my anxiety on the Lord and He has given me purpose.
How about you?  How has your Spring Break been?

“The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.” Psalm 118:22
Guess what I learned today in my devotional?  Jesus was actually a builder!
From my devotional “The Rook, The Road, and The Rabbi” by Kathie Lee Gifford:
“The word carpenter in Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3 for how Joseph and Jesus made a living is the Greek word tekton.  It means builder.”  It went on to explain there were only rocks in Israel.  “Jesus was not a carpenter.  Jesus was a stone mason.”
Mind blowing!  Until you stop and think about it.  Jesus is the Master Craftsman.  (By the way, it did clarify that tekton can actually be translated as stone mason or architect.)
Here’s a link to the devotional:  http://bible.com/r/2vV in case you want to check it out.  She really drew a lot of great analogies about how Jesus is the architect of Creation.  How He brings order out of chaos. Really worth a read.
I digress.  What really caught my attention is Jesus as a builder.  When I think of my relationship with God and others, I think of them as being built.  One day at a time.  One interaction at a time.  One moment at a time.
My relationship with God is built every morning when I seek Him.  When I open His Word and engage with it.  When I lower myself to my knees and pray.  When I seek His people and ask for their insight and wisdom.  Over a span of 48 years, I have built a very strong relationship with God.  We have gone through a lot of dark days together, as well as happy ones.  Each of them built one stone at a time.
Building my relationship with God is what then builds my relationship with people.
When I’m praying for difficult relationships, I ask God for the building blocks I need to restore it, preserve it or enhance it.  Building blocks can easily be defined as the fruit of the Spirit we find in Galatians 5:22-23:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. “
Applying those to any relationship will build it stronger.  Building it on the Rock of Jesus will make it indestructable.  I love what Ecclesiastes 4:12 says about relationships:
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (NLT)
The triple thread is God.
Build first with Jesus, then build with people.
I love thinking about Jesus as a builder.  Kathy Lee is right, there are a lot more applications from this one tidbit of information. For me, I went with Jesus the Builder.  Grateful for His strong foundation!
What do you think?  Is Jesus a builder in your life?
 
 

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
I need a jump start.  Life has been a bit much for me of late.  There has been a lot going on which has drained me.  I’m feeling mentally fatigued, physically tired and just over all blah.  I’m not jumping out of bed in the morning excited for the day ahead.  Instead I’m burying my head under the covers and dreading the moment my feet have to hit the floor.
I’m depressed.  I don’t like it.  It’s time to do something about it.
I’m into groups.  I don’t know if you know that about me, but I believe in the power of groups.  So much so, I am actually on staff as a volunteer at my church organizing groups.  I believe in them so much I give my time away to form and help sustain them.  Groups change people’s lives.  They care for people, connect people and grow people.
Groups rock!
For instance, I’m in an online group, it’s a health group centered solely on making good health choices.  There are 80 participants in the group, it was formed by a friend who was frustrated with her recent choices and wanted support.  She was amazed at how many other people were in the same boat, wanting the same thing.
I was one of them.
The group has been amazing for me.  We are at the end of the first three months.  I’ve done well, I’ve instituted some good work out habits, I’ve counted calories.  It has helped me stay on track.  However, I have faltered of late.
Thankfully I’m in a group!
Our leader has issued a 30 day challenge for April.  Set one goal and attain it.  It is exactly what I needed to jump start my life again.  At first I didn’t know what I wanted to set as a goal.  I wanted something which would reset my mindset, my exercise routine, my life.  As I began to pray about it, my eyes fell upon the long unopened book “The Daniel Plan” by Rick Warren.  I had done it a year or so ago and it had truly helped me get motivated.  I knew immediately it was my challenge.
I’m doing the 40 day fitness challenge starting tomorrow.  Along with it, I am going to do the 10 day detox.  Then I will continue to follow the Daniel Plan guidelines for the rest of the 30 days. God help me, it’s the only way I’ll succeed.
It’s my jumpstart.
I started to re-read the book this morning as I prepare for my challenge.  Already it has lifted my heart and quickened my step.  I’m excited to get back on the plan.  I remember how good I felt when I did this before.  How balanced my emotions were, how energetic my body felt.  I want that again.  I can’t wait to start!
I love the words the author is praying for the people who choose to take this journey:
3 John 2 “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
Welcome to the journey!
 
 
 
 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3
I thought I’d do a quarterly update.  In December I mapped out my goals for 2018.  My one word for this year is Commitment.  My verse is Proverbs 16:3.
My goals for the year are:
Spiritual:  Praying over my calendar on Monday mornings.  Finding and completing a domestic mission trip.
Physical:  Continue my two classes a week minimum.  Increase cardio workout to 5-6 times a week.
Financial:  Coming in on budget personally each month.
Writing:   Write a blog weekly
So far so good.  Or even better, as Mark Batterson likes to say, “So far so God.”
I have to admit, reviewing my goals reminded me about the domestic mission trip. I thought I had it covered. I was going to do one  in West Virginia.  However the dates don’t work.  At this point I still need to work on finding one.
Praying over my calendar has  impacted my life the most. It has helped me not only live up to my commitments, but give them my best. It didn’t take long for God to reveal to me I was overbooked.  This began an avid conversation with Him.  I knew I had to give some things up. I didn’t know what.
I am volunteer staff for my church. I run two small businesses.  I love all three of these things, each for different reasons.  When working in balance, they balance me.  When I’m doing one job, it gives me a break from the others.  I need the diversity.  It helps me get my mind off of one thing, focus on another.  When I come back to the first one, I’m fresher, think clearer, can have fresh eyes.  It’s how God designed me.
I didn’t want to give any of them up.  Which was the first question I asked Him…what do I give up?
Over and over again the answer was nothing.
Now what?  I became so frustrated.  I was so tired.  I was dropping into bed at night exhausted.  I was walking through my days like a zombie.
In addition to my work, I have been achieving my physical goals.  I’m doing yoga three times a week regularly, again life changing.  I’m doing cardio 5-6 times a week, can’t wait for warm weather so I can move it outside.  The treadmill isn’t very motivating to me.  Although yesterday I utilized the time planning for my tennis class. I found it inspiring.
I have been writing my blog once a week.  I have come in on budget for the first two months.  If I’m completely honest, I’ve pushed it to the last dime, but it is still on budget.
Re-evaluating my calendar has made all of the above possible.  It revolutionized my life.
The area I had to cut back the most in was my position on staff.  I had taken on way too much work.  I found saying no to God was harder than saying no to actual money.  It peaked one day when even more was being asked of me than I was already doing.  It was a pivotal moment in my 2018.
As a result, I spent the next five days truly evaluating all I was doing.  I started by analyzing my job description for church, which quickly showed me how much additional work I had accepted. No one’s fault by mine.  I looked at my teaching schedule for tennis. I sat down with my partner and we outlined our classes for the entire year.  I added in the hours I spend dog walking.
This was the most fun part.  I took a blank calendar for 2018. I added all of the things I was required to do.  There is a weekly church meeting I’m required to attend.  I plugged in the hours I dog walk every day.  I added in our class schedule for teaching tennis.  Then I plugged in my yoga classes and anything else I personally wanted to do each week.
It was eye opening.   There was literally only one day I didn’t have something plugged into my calendar.  I was booked before I added anything else.
It was time to seek wise counsel.
I sat down with my husband and a trusted friend.  I showed them my calendar.  I asked them to be honest with me, to speak truth into my life.  I asked them to show me how I could find balance?
After a long discussion, some hard truths, I created black out times.  I literally blacked the times out on my calendar.  One for me personally to have time to myself.  One for my family, designated as time with them.  I have a new rule in place.  No work of any kind during those times.  It is the only way I can remain sane, keep doing all of the things I love.  More importantly, it is how I can give my best to those around me.
It has been challenging.  As a result I have had to say no.  At first, it was really hard.  I had to make some difficult boundaries.  I’m better at it now, I’m learning to say no.  I have been able to schedule jobs into my open time slots.  I’ve honored my black out times.
It has changed my life.  I’m not exhausted.  I’m not walking around like a zombie from one meeting to the next.  I’m more present in my relationships.  I’m saying no to things so I can give my best yes.  I’m enjoying my time off.  I’m relaxing, I’m refreshing, I’m renewing each week.
Praying over my calendar, in the first quarter has brought balance into my life.  God has taught me so much through this one exercise. I’m not going to finish 2018 like I did 2017…tired, exhausted and ready to quit.  God has re-vamped my life by this one goal: praying over my calendar on Monday mornings!
How is your first quarter going?  Do you need a reminder of what your goals are for 2018?  I know I did.
I need to start working on a mission trip.
 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Trusting God in the midst of heartache can be one of the most challenging steps of faith we take.  Not understanding the “why” behind something is frustrating.  We want answers to our questions, when none are forthcoming, at least in the present moment, it can wreak havoc.
Trust is defined as firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Instead of asking why, ask how firm is my belief in God?  How much do I believe the reliability and truth of His word?  Do I believe He has the ability and strength to handle whatever situation you are facing?
These are questions you can find answers too.  Simply look back at what He has already done.  Remember what caused you to believe in God in the first place.  Recall how the truth of His word changed your life.  Ponder the ability and strength He showed during a different situation you thought, at the time was impossible.
When you begin to remember what God has already done, it lessens the necessity to know the “why” of right now.  You can trust, just as He had the last situation, He also has this one.
You can begin to rely on the truth of His word which says He has a plan and it’s a good one (Jer. 29:11).  You can find your joy in His strength (Neh. 8:10.)  You don’t have to be afraid, He promises He is with you (Isaiah 41:10).  You can find safety in the strength of His name (Proverbs 18:10).  You can have His peace (John 14:27) as you weather any storm.  He is your refuge (Psalm 46:1).  Your hope (Isaiah 40:31).
You can begin to trust.
Scripture References:
 ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“…Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
 ^“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:12
When tragedy strikes, there are no words.  The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming.  The pain felt for those involved is paralyzing.  It is almost unspeakable. As a result, people shy away because they are afraid they will say the wrong thing.
The truth is, there are words, and they are simple.  “I love you.  I’m praying for you.”  Those are all the words you need to say.  What people need in the midst of tragedy is your presence.  Your support.  They need you to pray for them when they don’t know what to pray.  When their grief and their pain is so extreme, they can barely breathe they need you to do it for them.  They need you to stand in the gap and pray for them.  They need you to hold them in their arms and love them.  They need your presence.
When my nephew died four years ago the first words I said to his Mom at the hospital were “Can I hug you?”  She fell in my arms and cried.  I didn’t utter another word.  As we moved through the days that followed, I talked little.  I hugged much.  There weren’t words I could ever say that would bring her son back, but I could hold her while she cried.  I could be present for her.
And while I held her I prayed.  I prayed for her and my brother. I prayed for God to comfort them.  I prayed for my niece as she walked through losing her brother.  I prayed for them to feel His presence.  I prayed for God to give them strength for the days and years ahead.  I asked God to show me how I could help, what could I do?  I stood in the gap for them when they couldn’t pray.
I prayed, then I prayed some more.
In the midst of tragedy, it isn’t your words people will remember, it is your presence.  It is your prayers they need, your specific and passionate prayers as you cry out to God for them on their behalf.  God is in the midst of tragedy:
“Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Tragedy has occurred in the lives of dear friends.  There are no words to describe the depth of pain it has left in their lives.  My message was simple when I called, “I love you.  I’m praying for you. What can I do?”
Even though there is nothing physically I can do, I can pray.  I can continue to pray for them as they move through the days ahead.  I can be present for them, for their loved ones, for their church.
I am praying they find God in the midst of this tragedy.  I am praying He reveals himself to them.  I am praying they feel His presence in the midst of this darkness.  I am praying He comforts their broken hearts.  I am praying continuously for all of the lives which have been affected by this terrible loss. I am praying, and I won’t stop.
When there are no words, there is prayer.
 
 
 
 

“The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34:19
I was reading my devotional this morning by Rick Warren.  He is talking about struggles in life, more specifically, why do they continue to go on and on.  I love what he said:
“Here’s the lesson: When God allows a crisis into your life, He doesn’t solve it immediately.  He lets it go on for a while because He wants to see if you’re really serious about seeking Him.  If God answered every prayer immediately, you’d begin to think God was a big vending machine:  Put in Prayer, Pull out whatever you Need.”
He’s got a point!
I’m studying the book of Ruth in my women’s group right now.  Last week, we were studying when Elimelech moved his family from Bethlehem to Israel, focusing on Ruth 1:1-7.  One point the author had us ponder was WHY did Elimelech move his family?
Bethelehem was in the midst of a famine when he made the decision to move his wife and sons.  They stayed in Moab for at least 10 years.  During their stay there, Elimelech and both of his sons died.  Naomi, his wife was left a widow with her two daughters-in-law Orpah and Ruth.  She hears the famine has lifted in Bethlehem in verse 6:
“…the Lord had paid attention to His people’s need by providing them food.”
God had allowed a famine to enter Elimelech’s life.  It didn’t end overnight but went on for years.  Instead of waiting on God to provide, he moved to a foreign land.  A land which held great tragedy for his family.  What would have happened if He had waited on God in Bethlehem?  What miracles did he miss out on because of his impatience?  We’ll never know.
What miracles are you missing out on because you aren’t willing to wait on God in the midst of the struggle?
Are you trying to solve your current struggle yourself or are you seeking Jesus?  Have you looked into His word to see what it says about your situation?  Is it relational?  The Bible has a lot to say about how to have healthy relationships.  How about financial?  There are more verses about money in the Bible than there are about salvation.  God knew we would need them.
Whatever it is you are struggling with today, don’t try to fix it.  Instead, turn to God.  Seek Him in prayer, read His word, talk to wise counselors in the faith.  He knows you’re struggling.  He has a plan.  All He wants is for you to seek Him in it.