Honest Reflections

“Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.” (Proverbs 23:17 NIV)

Why does their life look better than yours?  Because you’re looking through a dark lens. In no way can you completely understand someone else’s life. Impossible. What you see isn’t the full picture.  They are presenting what they want people to see, not what is necessarily true.  I have met plenty of people who drive fancy cars and live in fancy places in my lifetime.  Money doesn’t make you happy that I know.  A lot of those people I’ve encountered are miserable.  But they paint a pretty picture on the outside.

Paul reminds the Corinthians of this fact in his first letter to them:

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV)

Remind yourself of the whole.

Remind yourself you don’t know everything about the situation you are witnessing.   Yes, maybe your ex appears happy with whoever the new partner is, but are they?  Relationships take work from both parties.  The job is 24/7.  Lord knows I love my husband, but marriage is work.  If a couple has a good relationship, they are making it a priority in their lives.  Having a thriving relationship and smiling for a picture are two different things.  People confuse that fact when they see photos on social media.

One day, you will face God, and all of your unanswered questions will have answers.  But until then, you don’t know.  Accept the fact.  Stop assuming.  Instead, focus on Jesus.

Focus on His goodness in your life.  Stop right now and look around you.  Thank God for five things you can see without having to move.

When we start thanking God for what we do have, all we can see is Him.  We begin to see Him in everything we do.  His presence begins to overwhelm us as we start to connect the dots.

On the anniversary of my nephew’s death, I looked for a picture of him and my mom.  He died on her birthday; I was celebrating both of their lives.  My favorite photo is from my mom’s 75th birthday party.  The reason I had a party for her that year is because of my friend Lynda.  Her father’s birthday is the same day as my mother’s.  We were working together that year.  She was planning a birthday celebration with her sisters, which reminded me of my mom’s birthday.  As a result, I threw her a surprise party.  From that party came my favorite picture of her and Cody.  God connected the dots for me in that situation.

Don’t fall for the act.  No one’s life is perfect.

Question of the Day:

What story are you assuming you know?

Further Reading: Isaiah 25:1-28:13 NIV, Galatians 3:10-22 NIV, Psalm 61 NIV, Proverbs 23:17-18 NIV

“So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?” (Galatians 3:5 NIV)

Belief trumps works.

None of us can work our way into heaven.  No matter how good we are, we are still sinners.  Our good deeds aren’t what gets us into heaven; our faith in Jesus is.  Once we profess our faith and believe, God’s Spirit produces good works in us that the world sees.  He gets the glory, not us.

My car is a 2016 Prius.  A hybrid is an excellent car for living in the city; it requires little gas.  But once a month or so, I still need to put gas in it.  An electric battery is charged every time the car brakes.  This technology allows the car to use less gasoline, but it cannot operate without gas.  We’re the same as my hybrid.  We can get charged up from the good things we do in life, but without God’s Spirit in us, our engine won’t start in the first place.  Without an motor, we can’t run.

Belief fuels the engine.

When we place our faith in Jesus, it’s like filling our gas tank with fuel.  His Spirit enters us, beginning to crank the engine.  We instantly want to share what we have gained with others.  Our enthusiasm is overwhelming to those who haven’t had the same experience.  Often in life, I have to temper myself.  Jesus didn’t overwhelm people, He loved them.

Jesus’s presence in our life is what motivates us to get to know Him.  We learn about Him as we read the scriptures and begin to apply His teachings to our lives.  Good works happen when we take steps towards Jesus.

Forgiving someone who has hurt you is good work.  Rick Warren, in one of his devotionals, said forgiveness requires four things:

Doing the four things listed above takes work.  When someone hurts us, we don’t want to see any good in them.  We only want to focus on the bad.  Letting someone off the hook is hard.  Accepting that God wants you to love them, even though they have hurt you is difficult.  But with God, we can do it.  He makes the impossible possible.  His Spirit within us creates the good works we do.  Without Him, we cannot truly forgive.

God’s Spirit fuels our good works.

Don’t get caught up in works.  They aren’t what fills your tank.  Time with God, in His word, will gas your engine.  Nothing compares to moments with your Creator.  His presence will overwhelm you, His good works overflowing from it.

Question of the Day:

Have you sat in God’s presence lately and let Him refuel you?

Further Reading:  Isaiah 22:1-24:23 NIV, Galatians 2:17-3:9 NIV, Psalm 60 NIV,  Proverbs 23:15-16 NIV

“Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die.” (Proverbs 23:13 NIV)

Discipline gives direction.

If you touch a hot stove, you get burned.  The discipline you receive is the burn on your hand.  When you scorch your finger on a stove, you don’t forget it quickly.  The pain from the injury lasts long enough you remember.  When you’re presented with a hot stove again, you won’t touch it.  The lesson learned quickly.

In today’s world, discipline is a highly debatable topic.  As a childless writer, I’m not a parenting guru, nor do I profess that I am.  However, the world is different from when I was in school; I’m not sure for the better.  When I was in school, every student knew what kind of paddle the teachers had.  Most were wooden with holes drilled in them for extra sting.  In sixth grade, I received a spanking from Mr. Morgan in front of the entire class.  My crime, clowning around on a day he wasn’t in the mood.  He taught me to respect him and authority that day over 40 years ago, a lesson I have not forgotten.

Discipline is good.

For some reason, in today’s world, people avoid discipline like the plague.  Understandably, having your hand slapped before you can raid the cookie jar isn’t fun, but it is necessary.  How are children to learn if we don’t discipline them?

My mom used a race track.  No lie.  Hot Wheels cars ran on an orange strip of plastic; the sides raised slightly to keep the tiny cars on the course.  We had plenty in our house since I had brothers.  My mother used it more than once on my backside when I was a child.  I’m grateful she loved me enough to discipline me.  Her efforts made me who I am today.  She taught me wrong from right, just as Mr. Morgan did that day in class.

Abuse is not okay.  Hitting a child in uncontrolled anger is not okay.  But discipline is.  A controlled, measured response that teaches the child a lesson is necessary to produce healthy adults.  What that looks like in your life is a decision you have to make for yourself.  I’m unqualified to offer such advice since it’s something I have never done.

One of my good friends who is currently raising three teenagers, has a philosophy I agree with completely.  Last week, she had a conflict with her eldest.  She informed her daughter that her job as a parent was to raise her to be a responsible society member.  As such, she was not going to agree with nor understand every decision she made.   

Spare the rod spoil the child is scriptural.  Parenting is a divine task.  Partner with God to know the best course of action to take.

Question of the Day:

How do you use discipline in your life?

Further Reading: Isaiah 19:1-21:17 NIV, Galatians 2:1-16 NIV, Psalm 59 NIV, Proverbs 23:13-14 NIV

“Apply your heart to instruction and your ears to words of knowledge.” (Proverbs 23:12 NIV)

Gain wisdom.

The purpose of the book of Proverbs is to teach people how to live their life.  The writings, mostly by Solomon, are meant to teach us what to do and not do.  I read a chapter of Proverbs a day.  Usually, from those words, I find the easiest verses to apply to my life.  Their simplicity is easy to translate.

For me, I translate today’s verse as gain knowledge by listening to others.  Everyone has something they can teach us.  I’ve found, I never know who will teach me the most profound lessons.  If we close our ears to what others have to say because we disagree with them, we will never learn.

Ask questions to gain wisdom.

Jesus asked questions.  He engaged people in conversation:

“When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (John 4:7 NIV)

Jesus knew this woman, but he wanted her to tell Him.  He made an effort to engage with her.  Often, we have to make an effort to talk to someone.   Life is busy. People get caught up in their daily schedules.  We’re navigating new routines because of COVID, but we’re still packing it in.  My heart is praying fervently for students at all levels as they begin school.  God help them all.  Now is the time to reach out to that friend you haven’t heard from in a while.  Check-in on them, see how they are doing.

Learning what is going on in the lives of our loved ones is wisdom.  When we understand what challenges they are facing, we can help them find victory.  If you know they lost their job because of COVID, you can be God’s hand and feet to them.  Drop off dinner.  Connect them to employment opportunities. Or just sit and listen.  Gaining knowledge of what someone is going through gives us the chance to love them like Jesus would have us do.

But if we don’t engage.  If we don’t gain wisdom by listening with open ears, we can’t apply our hearts.  Everyone needs the love Jesus has to offer.  If we don’t act like Jesus, some people will never know what love is.

People change the world because they gain wisdom about someone else’s circumstances.  Blake Mykocski changed the world because he learned about children’s needs for shoes.  He went on a trip to Argentina in 2006.  After seeing the need for shoes, he started Toms shoe company.  Each pair of shoes sold meant one pair donated to children.  The company now gives ⅓ of its annual net profit away.  During COVID, they’ve given $2 million to global relief efforts.   Blake gained wisdom; then, he acted like Jesus.

Question of the Day:

How can you act like Jesus today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 15:1-18:7 NIV, Galatians 1 NIV, Psalm 58 NIV, Proverbs 23:12 NIV

“Sing to the Lord, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world.” (Isaiah 12:5 NIV)

Your life has a melody no one else shares.

As we live our lives, we are singing a song.  Casting Crowns song, Lifesong, describes what I’m talking about perfectly in its lyrics:

We all determine what type of song our life sings.  We are already singing one, whether we realize it or not.  The question is, who are we singing for today?  Are we singing for ourselves or God?

In all honesty, we probably do both.  Sometimes throughout the day, I’m singing for myself, others I’m singing for God.  The battle between flesh and spirit rages on daily.  However, the chords we sing to Jesus last much longer than any other we sing.

Sing loud and proud of God’s love.

“And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV)

When we notice God’s presence in our lives, we have something to sing about each day.   We begin to see how intimately involved He is.  

Today is my 51st birthday.  As I peer back over the years of my life, I see God’s presence.  He was there the night my father died, as I stood with my family, watching him take his last breath.  He was there when I struggled through college, barely graduating.  He was there on my first job and my latest.   Whatever heartache I’ve experienced, He comforted me.  He celebrates every victory, fights every battle, guides every step.

“For His eyes are upon the ways of a man, And He sees all his steps.” (Job 34:21 NIV)

His eye is always upon us, but ours isn’t always upon Him.  If we don’t look for Him, we won’t find Him.  

My eye wasn’t upon Him during the ten years after my Dad died.  I directed my anger at God.  He had the power to heal my father, yet He didn’t.  Why not?  Why did I have to lose my father when other’s didn’t?  Why would I want anything to do with a God who took my father?  Because He still loved me, no matter how I acted.

The song I sing for the Lord grows louder each day.  As I seek His presence, I find Him.  He leads me where He wants me to go.  He teaches me what He wants me to learn.  And He helps me share it with those He loves.  

Question of the Day:

What is your life song singing today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 12-14 NIV, 2 Corinthians 13:1-14 NIV, Psalm 57 NIV, Proverbs 23:9-11 NIV

“I am under vows to you, my God; I will present my thank offerings to you.” (Psalm 56:12 NIV)

Thank offerings keep your focus on God.

When we offer thanks to God, we remind ourselves who our Provider is of everything we have. They also remind us, what we have today, we may not have tomorrow.  For me, thanking God is an easy way to share Him with others.  When I thank God for my life in front of others, His light shines.  Thank offerings help us through difficult times.  When we focus on what we do have, God, hope is sprung.

Thankfulness, as a way of life, helps you keep stride with God.  “Thank God” is a phrase you will hear me use often.  Good days, bad days, in-between days, I always try to find something to thank God for each day.  Without a doubt, some days are harder than others.  One thing we can consistently thank God for is the people He gives us in our lives.  The people who are there for us on all types of days.  The ones who make us laugh, hold us when we cry, and pick us up when we fall.  God sends people into our lives whose task is to fulfill those roles.  Over my lifetime, many angels have come beside me at the right time.  

Thank offerings bring awareness.

One of the problems of our fast-paced world,  we overlook our blessings.  We don’t give thank offerings because we don’t think we have anything to thank God for in our lives.  But that statement is a lie.  We all have something to thank God for in life; we just have to look for it.

One of my young friends is having her twelfth surgery the week of this writing.  She hasn’t celebrated her 22nd birthday yet.  When I was talking to her mother about the current situation, she was praising God.  She thanked Him for health insurance, which allowed her daughter to get care.  She thanked him for the doctors who finally took their call.  She thanked Him for friends who keep showing up, time, and time again.  I have walked with this family through the past five-plus years of this journey.  In every step, my friend has found reason to thank God.  Her thankfulness has made her aware of God’s presence in every moment.  She notices the people who are helping them through these difficult times.

The benefits of thank offerings are many.  They bring hope into a dark world.  They encourage downtrodden souls.  But most of all, they keep our eyes on Jesus.  When we make Him our focus, He doesn’t disappoint.  He leads us through the darkest days.  He provides for us in our needs.  In Him, we find our hope.

Question of the Day:

What can you thank God for today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 10:1-11:16 NIV, 2 Corinthians 12:11-21 NIV, Psalm 56 NIV, Proverbs 23:6-8 NIV

“But as for me, I trust in you.” (Psalm 55:23b)

God is worthy of everyone’s trust.

Today marks the 19th anniversary of Sept. 11th, 2001.  A day that changed our country forever.  Since the tragic day, friends and family members gather at the memorials, commemorating the people they lost.  If you were alive when the airplanes flew into the World Trade Center in New York, the Pentagon in Washington D.C., and a Pennsylvania field, you remember where and when you heard the news.

On vacation, I was sleeping when the first plane hit.  My sister-in-law called, telling me to turn on the T.V.  Eyes glued to the news, I watched as the second plane hit the south tower.  My corporate office was in New York.  Like so many others, I wondered about the people I knew who were there.  As the day unfolded, the world felt like it was coming to an end, the events a reminder of life’s fragility.  When I laid my head to sleep that night, I realized, the only constant in life is God.

God is the only constant.

When the world is falling apart around you, God isn’t.  He didn’t fall apart on Sept. 11, 2001.  Books are sold daily with encouraging God stories about that fateful day.  Tales of people who “didn’t go to work,” or “because I was running late,” they missed the terrorists attacks.  One I recall talked about a man who stopped in the pharmacy to buy bandaids for his daughter.  If he hadn’t done that one act, he would have been in his office somewhere in the World Trade Center.  Buying her bandaids meant her daddy came home that night.  Many people would describe that as God’s intervention.

But what about the people who were on time for work that day?  Where was God in their lives?

Death is a part of life.  God does not hide that fact from us.  God’s word is exact:

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

The day of this writing is the sixth anniversary of my nephew’s death.  Why did he die at 20 years old from Type 1 Diabetes?  Because it was the day ordained for him by God before he was ever born.  

We will all die.  None of us knows the day.  I don’t like to think of my death; however, that doesn’t stop it from happening.  What thinking about my mortality does do is help me keep perspective.  When situations in life happen, like 9/11, I realize how precious life is and how each day truly is a gift:

“This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad today!” (Psalm 118:24 NIV)

Jesus overcame death.  In Him, you will have life, not only on earth but in heaven as well.

Question of the Day:

Have you put your trust in Jesus?

Further Reading: Isaiah 8-9 NIV, 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 NIV, Psalm 55 NIV, Proverbs 23:4-5 NIV

“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” (2 Corinthians 11:30 NIV) 

Boast about your weaknesses.

When we boast about our weaknesses, God gets the glory.  Just as I was beginning to write this morning, one of my weaknesses was exposed.  A gift I gave a young friend was “returned.”  My feelings were hurt.  Grace is not my go-to response.  My personality is more truth than grace.  In handling the situation, I wrote these words in my prayer journal:

“Lord, help me to be gracious.  Without You, I have none.”

God gave me grace to balance the truth in my response.  My weakness is grace; God’s isn’t.  When we boast about our weaknesses, God gets the glory.

Our weakness is God’s glory.

Voicing weaknesses is not easy.  We all like to talk about the things we do well.  No one wants to talk about the things we don’t do well.  One of the advantages of having a few years under my belt is that I can look back and see my weaknesses when my emotions led my decisions instead of logic.  Or truth was heavy-handed, and grace was light.  In all of those situations, God was my strength.  In Him, I boast.

Paul is the one boasting in today’s Scripture:

“Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea,” (2 Corinthians 11:25-25 NIV)

Paul’s strength was the Lord in all he faced.  Without God’s presence in his life, he wouldn’t have survived his journey.  And he’s still going.  He’s always preaching, sharing the gospel with anyone who will listen.  His weaknesses are what get the attention of his audience.

Let’s face it; no one likes to listen to a braggart.  When someone is touting how great they are, the conversation gets old quick.  I avoid people who are always bragging about how great they are.  First off, no one is perfect.  Secondly, the fact they feel the need to pump themselves up tells me they are hiding insecurities inside.  If they divert your attention to what they are doing right, you won’t notice what they are doing wrong.

God changes the playing field.  He embraces us in our imperfections, and through them, He shines His light.  When people see the change in us, they see God.  They see His presence in our lives that leads us, guides us, and helps us make better decisions.  Because He loves us unconditionally, we can love our weaknesses as well as our strengths.

In our weakness, God is strong.  Through Him, the impossible becomes possible.  Without Him, we are weak.  With Him, we are conquerors.

Question of the Day:

What weakness can you boast about today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 6-7 NIV, 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 NIV, Psalm 54 NIV, Proverbs 23:1-3 NIV

“God looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.” (Psalm 53:2 NIV)

God sees all.  God knows all.  God loves all.

God’s sovereignty is hard to understand.  He sees the effort we make, no matter how tiny.  He’s looking for those who try, and He rewards their effort.

Grey’s Anatomy is one of my favorite medical shows.  Inevitably, a storyline exists in which the patient’s family is waiting for signs of life.  Hours, days, even weeks will pass as they wait for movement.  Sometimes, the symbol of life is a finger that taps the bed or a small nod of the head.  Whatever the indication, it is always slight and barely noticeable.  But someone notices.  The battle to live won for the moment.

God notices our slightest effort.

Some days, our slightest effort is getting out of bed.  God rewards our struggle with the energy to keep going.  As much as I love God, some days are more challenging than others.  My “seeking” of God is in the simple prayer, “God, get me out of bed.”  Sometimes, the world is so overwhelming, so saddening, the thought of facing another day is the mountain we have to climb.   COVID, riots, death, suffering, the world is an ugly place.  Add that level of reality to our stressful personal lives; staying in bed seems like a good option.  However, God gave us each a light to shine.  We can’t shine our lights from bed.

All God asks is that you try.

Try seeking and understanding God today in your life.  Ask the questions that help gain understanding:

The list of questions is endless.  Ask them.  Seek answers in God’s word.  Talk to people who follow Christ, ask them their stories.  Listen as they explain the steps of faith that have led them where they are today.

On the topic of sex, I decided to seek God. Why did God not want me to have premarital sex? Quickly answered with the first guy I dated.  God was protecting me.  The guy, a man I met in church, was having multiple sexual relationships with different women.  When I refused to sleep with him, the truth came out.  Praise God. His Word prevented me from making the same mistake again. 

After God answers one of your questions, ask another.  

Twenty years later, I’m still asking questions.  If we open ourselves up to learning what God has for us in this life, we’ll always have more questions.  God’s word has the answers.  As we apply it to our lives, our understanding of God deepens.  

Seek. Ask. Apply. Understand.

Question of the Day:

What question do you want to ask God today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 3-5 NIV, 2 Corinthians 11:1-15 NIV, Psalm 53 NIV, Proverbs 22:28-29 NIV

“You are judging by appearances. If anyone is confident that they belong to Christ, they should consider again that we belong to Christ just as much as they do.” (2 Corinthians 10:7 NIV)

Appearances lie.  Everyone falls for the lie.

We see a picture on social media. We believe what we see.  One I’ve fallen for is the shark’s silhouette in an ocean wave about to break on the beach.  Not real.  Pictures of happy couples, families, friends aren’t usually accurate.  When you see these pictures on Facebook, remember, it’s the best photo taken, not the worst.  The image before, when the baby is crying, the wife is angry, and dad is exhausted, we don’t see that picture.  

Appearances don’t indicate the condition of the heart.  When we look at someone, we don’t know if they follow Jesus or not.  Their actions will reveal their beliefs as the relationship grows, but we cannot tell by appearance.  Once someone says yes to Christ, it’s a yes for always.  Nothing strips us from Christ’s love.

Judge actions, not appearance.

When we judge by appearance, we’re missing what lies beneath the waterline.  The message my pastor gave this week talked about looking beneath the surface.  Don’t accept what you see on the surface.  Instead, look deeper for the truth. He challenged us with a simple, yet complex statement:

“God, reveal to me what you see in me that is not giving me life.” 

Judging by appearances hinders all of our lives.  We think we know someone’s heart because of how they look.  When I was in college, one of my friends was a model.  My jealousy over her appearance stopped me from seeing her precious heart.  If we can’t get past how they look, we’ll never see their soul’s works.  Only God knows what lies within a person’s inner being:

“Would not God find this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart.” (Psalm 44:21 NIV)

If we want to know what lies beneath the water, both for ourselves and others, we must seek God.  He reveals His knowledge to us as we seek Him.  

For instance, God revealed to me my issue with jealousy.  Through different people in my life, He’s taught me to look deeper than the surface.  My college roommate was a slim, gorgeous gymnast with a soft voice.  People adored her.  She had a good looking boyfriend. My jealousy was at it’s highest.  But what I didn’t see was her intense battle with drugs.  Her addiction was below the waterline; I couldn’t see it.  All I saw was what was on the surface.

Three lessons we can learn from today’s verse:

Go below the surface today.  Don’t judge by appearances.

Question of the Day:

Who have you misjudged lately?

Further Reading: Isaiah 1-2 NIV, 2 Corinthians 10:1-18 NIV, Psalm 52 NIV, Proverbs 22:26-27 NIV