Honest Reflections

“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. ” Colossians 3:2
Been doing a lot of thinking about perspective.  How we are all on a journey.  Each of our journey’s are unique.  Each has it’s own perspective.  What I’ve realized over the last couple of weeks is our perspective depends on how we are traveling.  How fast or slow we are going.
For instance, we spent the weekend in Texas.  We traveled over 800 miles in car.  We flew even further in the plane which took us there.  When we were on our way home, we had a tailwind.  The captain told us we were traveling at 600 miles per hour.  When we were driving in the car we averaged 75 miles per hour (which by the way is the speed limit in Texas).  Compare those to the 3 mile per hour stroll we took after dinner Friday night and you have three different perspectives.
Flying at 600 mph at 30,000 feet I didn’t see much.  It was dark, on occasion we could see sprinkles of lights on the earth.  Driving at 75 mph I saw so much more.  I saw the cattle grazing by the side of the road.  I saw them so well I was able to identify different types of breeds.  I saw Texas Longhorns for the first time.  I saw Black Angus and Red Angus cattle.  I could see oil wells and wind mills.  I saw so much more detail at 75 mph than I did at 600 mph.
When we strolled along the River Walk in San Antonio after dinner at barely 3 mph I saw even more.  I saw couples enjoying an evening meal together.  I could hear their laughter and the low murmur of conversation swirling around me.  I saw the ripples in the water as it flowed past me.  I saw the muddy brown caused by the recent rain.  I could smell the different aromas coming from the restaurants.  I saw the vivid colors of the shimmering lights.  Walking at 3 mph was like looking through a microscope compared to flying at 600 mph.
The slower we go, the more we notice.  The better our perspective becomes.  The more clearer our paths are ahead of us.  We rush through life so quickly it’s like we’re flying at 600 mph all of the time.  We don’t notice the people around us, the scenery, the smells.  We are so focused on our “agendas” we miss what is right in front of us.
Lately, God has been speaking to me.  I didn’t realize until today what He has been saying.  In fact, as I’ve written this blog I’ve gained clarity.  I’ve listened to so many messages lately on purpose.  I’ve been so focused on what I’m supposed to be doing I’ve missed what God is saying.  His message to me is simple, yet so hard for me to do:
“Slow down”
God wants me to slow down.  He wants me to stop flying at 600 mph and start strolling at 3.  Not everything has to be done today.  Not everything has to be done tomorrow.  When God tells us in John 10:10 Jesus came so we can have life and have it to the fullest, He meant it.
If we’re going too fast we’ll miss it.  We’ll miss the beauty of the falling leaves as they meander their way to the earth.  We’ll miss the vibrant colors of life all around us.  We’ll miss the warm smile of a stranger because we’re going to fast to notice.  We’ll miss the peace of a fall afternoon or the feel of the gentle breeze as it passes over us.  If we’re going to fast we’ll miss spending time with the ones we love.
I’ve been going too fast.  I’ve missed some things I will never get back.  God has been trying to tell me to slow down, but I haven’t been listening.  I’m grateful He hasn’t given up on me as I’ve been zooming through my days.  Instead, He created an opportunity for me to slow down.  Through it, He has shown me all I’ve been missing.  He’s been trying to tell me I don’t have to do it all.  I just have to do what He calls me to do.  Right now, what He is calling me to do is slow down.
God will give me enough time to do everything He has intended for me to do.  If I don’t slow down, I might miss it.  I won’t hear His still small voice directing my path if I’m going too fast.  I won’t see the signs He’s giving me if I fly right by them.  I won’t be able to follow His lead if I’m too busy following mine.  I had no idea how fast I’ve been going until God slowed me down.   When He did, He changed my perspective.
How fast have you been going lately?  Are you flying at 600 mph, driving at 75 or strolling at 3?  Maybe I’m not the only one God is telling to slow down.  If you’re going too fast, you won’t get the message.   I know I didn’t.
 
 
 
 

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,” Isaiah 61:1
One of the things I love most about traveling is visiting different churches around the country.  I truly hope and pray the good Lord above keeps me traveling, keeps me visiting, keeps me worshiping with believers all over the country, even the world.
Today’s experience was, what I believe a divine appointment.  Simply because of how we found it.  I’m not sure why yet, but I know I was meant to be there.
Yesterday, my husband and I were driving to Harlingen, TX for the memorial of his beloved Aunt Nancy.  A wonderful woman who we still can’t believe is gone.  We were traveling from San Antonio along I-35 when we missed our exit.  As a result we went one mile further and had to turn around.  The one mile led us to Journey Church.  As my husband was making a u-turn, I was googling service times.  I knew we would be passing by the next day on our way back to Houston to catch our flight home.  That is how we ended up at Journey Church this morning.  We woke up early, I asked my husband if he wanted to go.  Off we went.
When we arrived, it felt very much like our home church.  It’s located in an old bowling alley.  They’ve been there 8 years.  I know this because as soon as the lead pastor’s wife spotted us she immediately introduced herself and welcomed us to their church.  The gentleman who greeted us at the door greeted us with God’s blessings.  It was a very welcoming and warm church.
The pastor’s wife told us they had a guest speaker.  A missionary serving in Africa, originally from West Virginia.  I have to be honest, we weren’t enthusiastic.  We were bummed we weren’t going to hear the lead pastor.
God however knew exactly what He was doing.  As He always does.
The missionary was enthralling.  The service lasted two hours yet it seemed like only minutes.  His passion for God, his story was unscripted and real.  From his four years in high school when he led a “two faced” life.  In church on Sundays and parties on Saturday.  His eventual wife who all through those years kept steering him back to God.  Kept challenging him and encouraging him to serve only one God, not two.
I found myself leaning forward on the edge of my seat as he shared how they ended up in Africa six weeks after their wedding.   They were put in charge of 54 orphans, one of whom still lives with them and their three kids to this day.  He was 22 years old, fresh out of college managing a 10,000 acre farm with a new wife and 54 orphans.
He talked about his six hour ride one way on a dirt bike into the bush of Africa every week.  A backpack with water and a tent in it as his only supplies, to minister to a forgotten people.  To introduce them to Jesus.
He talked about being thrown in a Conga jail.  Being released because of an African Emporer who had been praying for four years for someone to come and minister to these people.  The first thing they did when he arrived was throw him in jail.  The Emporer was not pleased.
He is 36 years old as of this writing.  He’s on a three month break, traveling the country to build support for their mission before he returns to this land he has come to love.
His challenge to us was simple.  He didn’t want money.  He wanted us to follow God’s call on our lives.  To say yes to whatever God has in store for us.  He talked about how saying a simple yes to God has led him and his entire family on an adventure of a lifetime.
It was a beautiful testimony to a life well lived for the Lord.  It left us speechless as we walked out the doors today.  The spirit of the Lord was so evident in his life.  In the life of this church.  It was truly breathtaking.
I don’t know why God wanted us there.  I do know He did.  I know that because of how we found it.  What I thought would just be another encouraging opportunity to worship with people from a different community has a deeper meaning.  I’m not to fear what lies ahead.  I’m just to say yes and wait for the Lord’s direction.
Easier said than done.  Easier said than done!

 “We may throw the dice, but the LORD determines how they fall.”  Proverbs 16:33
It is a day of delays.  I’m struggling with things not going according to plan.  I find it humorous, because my prayer for this weekend is to not take offense.  No matter what anyone does, I don’t want to take offense.  I just want to love well.
Unfortunately, I’m offended.  I’m offended at United Airlines because our 6:15 a.m. flight was and is delayed until 12:07 p.m.  It has completely derailed our plans for today.
Our plan for today was to spend it in San Antonio.  We were going to explore the Alamo.  We were going to stroll along the infamous San Antonio Riverfront.  Shopping, eating, drinking, relaxing in each other’s company.
United Airlines, however, had different plans.  God willing, we will still enjoy the riverfront this evening for dinner.  I’m grateful no matter where we are we can relax in each other’s company.  The Alamo might have to wait until Sunday.  In all fairness, we did receive a text at 10:00 p.m. last night the flight was delayed.  The problem was we rolled out of bed at 4:00 this morning, jumped in the shower and were heading out the door before we received it.  Gratefully, we weren’t at the airport.  However we were wide awake with no place to go too.
I’m offended at the airline.  I knew when I began praying about not taking offense to anything, I would start being offended.  It’s like praying for patience.  I tell people, don’t pray for patience.  If you do, God will give you lots of reasons to PRACTICE patience.
Yet, really, aren’t we always offended?  Don’t we get offended too easily?
I’m absolutely sure the lady who took forever paying for her groceries in front of me woke up thinking about offending me.  Because she did.  I could not believe how slow she was.  I was absolutely sure it was deliberate.  Yet she doesn’t even know me.
Or how about the young man I cut off the other day on I-64.  Do you think he was offended when I pulled in front of him without seeing him?  Does he think I deliberately tried to crash into him?  Of course not.  I just didn’t see him.  He may however have been offended, I don’t know.
The point is, when we get offended, we’re making it about us.  We aren’t thinking about the other person or what is going on with them.  We’re just thinking about our inconvenience.
United Airlines isn’t trying to offend me.  They are trying to take care of me by making sure the plane we travel on is safe.  The woman in line in front of me wasn’t trying to offend me, she was buying her groceries.  Doing absolutely nothing wrong.  And me, I definitely wasn’t trying to offend the young man I pulled in front of Wednesday.  I didn’t even see him.  I’m just grateful he had quick reflexes and maneuvered around me without issue.
Praying to not take offense isn’t like praying for patience.  Praying to not take offense is simply taking the focus off of you and praying for the other person (or company).  I am a firm believer no one ever intends to cause you pain.  They really don’t mean to offend you.
I have begun to realize, when we feel offended it’s a good time for self examination.  Whatever offends us is probably what we need help with in our lives.  For instance, United delaying our flight is helping me identify my control issues.  It’s helping me remember we make our plans but God guides our path.  The lady in front of me at the grocery store reminded me I don’t have to rush.  I can actually enjoy the moment.  That beautiful young man in the jeep reminded me to be flexible.
Whenever I feel offended, I know I have some soul searching to do.  I have some learning to do.  God is shining His light on an area of my life I haven’t turned over to Him.  He wants all of us, not just the parts we’re willing to give up.  He wants the parts we don’t even know we have to give up.
Maybe, getting offended isn’t the worst thing in the world.  The key is searching our hearts for why we’re offended.  Then, we begin to meet God in the work He’s trying to do in us.
I don’t want to take offense, I just want to love well.  In order to love well, I have to examine my offenses so I can deal with heart issues, which in the end, will help me love well.
It’s a lot of work.  It’s worth it.  It always, always draws me closer to God.  There is nothing better than feeling His approval as you let Him in a little bit more.
Inch by inch life is a cinch.  Yard by yard life is hard.  I learned that phrase from my roommate when I was a flight attendant.  One of the wisest things I’ve ever heard.
Life is easy when we take it inch by inch.  When we try to take it yard by yard it gets out of control.  Unexpected delays in life are opportunities to do a little soul searching.  They give us a chance to realize, it’s not really about me.  It’s not about us.  It’s just life.  Life isn’t meant to be controlled, it’s meant to be lived.
Here’s to living today.  Fully and completely!

 ^“When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs. Then the herd rushed down the steep bank. They ran into the lake and drowned.” Luke 8:33
God has been speaking clearly to me about one thing: PURPOSE.
Sunday was my nephew’s birthday.  He went to be with Jesus four years ago.  I went to the church where he met Jesus for his birthday.  I wanted to thank the people who had helped me introduce Cody to Jesus.  That is where God first started talking.
The message was on PURPOSE.  The guest speaker talked about how living for the approval of people keeps you from the purposes of God.  A great example of this is Moses in Hebrews 11:24-26.  He chose God, not people.
He also explained the POWER of PURPOSE.  When we know our purpose it diminishes the distractions in life.  We’re so focused on our purpose, we don’t notice anything else.  Purpose pushes through the pain.  I loved his example of a mother giving birth.  She endures the pain of childbirth because she knows its purpose.  She will have a child.  Lastly, purpose empowers us to please God.  When you have identified what God’s purpose for you is, it makes it easy to please God.
I’ve known for a long time what my general PURPOSE is.  I’m to love God and love others.  Mark 12:30-31.  No matter where I’m at or what I’m doing. I’m to be loving God and loving people.  I know that.
But I’m beginning to believe God has a CALLING for me as well.
The second time God brought the conversation of purpose up was yesterday, in my group.  Our topic for the evening was PURPOSE.  From our group discussion, our leader derived purpose and calling are the same thing.  As our conversation evolved we debated purpose versus calling.  Calling won.
When God gives you a PURPOSE it’s a CALLING.
Then this morning God had me pondering Luke 8:33:
“When the demons came out of the man, they went into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and was drowned.”
Specifically, I was focused on the pig farmer.  The owner of the pigs had just lost a significant amount of income.  What about him?  What is his PURPOSE in the story?  I haven’t discovered the answer to it yet.  But I will not take the pig farmer for granted anymore.  I will always recognize him in the story.  I’ve never done that before.  I’ve only thought of Jesus and the demon possessed man.   I never cared about the pigs.  Now I do.
And just an hour ago I had a conversation with my husband I want to always remember.  For the first time in our married lives, we were both studying the same scripture at the same time, but didn’t know it.  It’s an incredible feeling to realize God is that closely connected to you in your marriage.
He had a different perspective though.  He was realizing how the man, once cured of the demons wanted to follow Jesus.  He wanted to go where Jesus went and be a disciple.  Jesus said no.  He couldn’t come.  His PURPOSE was to go into the city and tell the people what He had done for him.
My husband brought up the point how devastating that must have been for him.  After the miraculous healing, wouldn’t he naturally be the best disciple?  Yet Jesus says no.  It was probably heartbreaking for this man not to be able to go with Jesus.
Here’s the beautiful nuance though.  Just a few verses later, when Jesus returns a crowd welcomed him.  “for they were all expecting him.” Luke 8:40 Why were they expecting him?  Because the demon possessed man had done his PURPOSE.  He had told the townspeople what Jesus had done.  His CALLING was to go tell the people about Jesus.  He did it.  He fulfilled his calling.  I can’t imagine there is anything more fulfilling than that.
It hasn’t been three full days and I’ve had PURPOSE brought up to me in all of these different ways.  I think God is talking to me.  I need to take time to listen to what He is saying.
I’m just curious what will be next!
 
 
 

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8
You could easily say this has been one of those weeks.  Not only in my life, but in the lives of friends I love very dearly.  In family members lives who are struggling through some hard stuff right now.  Tomorrow is Cody’s birthday.  I always miss him more this time of year.
But I just had the coolest thing happen.  I know you’re going to think I’m crazy.  I’ve shed a lot of tears in my lifetime.  Most of us have.  I rely on Psalm 56:8 every time I shed one.  I think of God capturing my tears.  Recording my hurts.  It always makes me feel better.
I just sat down to start session four of Lisa Harper’s study on Job.  I love listening to Lisa Harper.  I like the sound of her voice.  I love the slight grittiness to it.  I love the southern accent.  Her voice soothes me when I hear it.
I started the session.  There is this music at the beginning.  Every time I hear it start, my heart quickens.  I know I’m about to learn something good.  I get so excited.
Today, as my heart quickened, tears started to roll silently down my cheek.  It’s the first time I’ve ever started a study in tears.  It’s the first time I think I have experienced joy and sorrow simultaneously.
I thought to myself, “If I’m crying when I start this, it’s going to be even better than I think.”
Life is so hard.  But that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  It doesn’t mean you’re alone.  It doesn’t mean God doesn’t care.  It simply means it’s hard.
I love this quote from Bob Goff’s book, “Everybody Always”:
“We can bring all the game we’ve got, but only Jesus has the power to call out of us the kind of courage it takes to live the life He talked about.”
That is truth in its best sense.  Life is hard but it’s worth it.
On to session four!
(Today’s picture was taken on the streets of NYC when I was there in August.  Hope in the middle of the city!)

^“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,  that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel”  Philippians 1:12
I have had so many conversations with people lately about why bad things happen to good people?  Why does God allow it to happen?
They are challenging conversations.  Especially with some of the circumstances people are facing.  I wonder it in my own life.  It’s why I’m intently studying Job.  I’m looking for answers to those questions.
I just realized, I’m asking the wrong questions.
God promised us in John 16:33 we will have trouble in this world:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Yet, as I’ve talked about before, we’re surprised when they do actually happen.  I was surprised when Cody died.  I wasn’t expecting it.  Didn’t see it coming.  Yet it happened.  Gratefully, we had answers to a lot of our questions.  More times than not, we don’t have answers.  I think mainly because there are none this side of heaven.
I can absolutely tell you I did not ask these two questions:
“How is God going to use this to advance the gospel in and through me?” (Phil 1:12)
“How can I display Your great strength in my great weakness?” (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
(Taken from “Is God Trying to Ruin My Life?” by Martha Lawley)
Those are tough questions to ask.  It is hard to take the focus off of ourselves.  It’s hard to take the focus off of the circumstances.  It is really hard to take our focus off of the pain.  I find it incredibly difficult.
But I’m going to try.  I’m going to try asking these questions instead.  I’m going to try and get my focus back on God, instead of myself.
I’m going to try.

“…you should live in a way that proves you belong to the God who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” 1 Thessalonians 2:12 GW
God moved in my life today.  I just don’t know how.  I do know, though, it’s a day I’ll never forget.  This verse was the verse he used to speak to me.  The answer I received was not the answer I wanted.  He reminded me how I was suppose to respond.
I woke up this morning to a beautiful sunrise.  I saw a ray of sunshine through the window.  I knew it was a good one.  I grabbed my phone to capture it.  That’s when I saw the text and knew life was about to change.
I’m not going to share the details of the rest of this day.  In the future, when I know more what God is up too.  I’ll tell you then.  The details don’t matter.
What matters is God moved AND I recognized it.
There is nothing I love more than when God moves.  It is so exciting to be with Him when He does.  Watching God work out the pieces is better than any show you will ever watch on T.V.  The “coincidences” that begin to happen.  The schedules that get changed.  God works in so many different ways.
Days like today though.  When He moves big.  When He answers a prayer you’ve been praying for months.  And you’re not expecting it.  You don’t forget those days.
Here’s to God’s plan.  May I be right in the middle of it!

“Will you speak wickedly on God’s behalf?  Will you speak deceitfully for him?” Job 13:7
“Much of what they have to say about the relationship between God and man is theologically sound.” Lisa Harper ‘Job’
She’s talking about Job’s three friends. But it made me think of all the different perspectives there are on God. I’ve been reading a lot of different books, intentionally. Most non-fiction, some fiction. You really have to pay attention to what they’re saying. It’s super easy to get off track.
I am beginning to realize how easy it is to get off track in life too.  No one ever intentionally sets out to hurt themselves.  No one ever gets up in the morning and says “What can I do to screw my life up today?”  No one.  Even Job, who had lost everything, was in the depths of depression at the bottom of the pit.  He didn’t think about what he could do to hurt more.  No, he was looking up, with hope to God to save him from his misery.  He was focused on the right thing.
But his friends weren’t.  They all were on track with God to a point, but then they took God out and inserted themselves.

• Eliphaz thinks Job’s suffering because of his sin.
• Bildad thinks it because Job’s kids sinned
• Zophar thinks God is tired of hearing Job complain

When you read each of their talks.  When you dig into it.  You’ll discover they all have some theologically correct points in their arguments.  If you’re not discerning you wouldn’t realize they go from God to them effortlessly.  It’s all very innocent.  They are just trying to help their grieving friend.  They just want to make him feel better.  In their efforts they hurt him, not help him. That was never their intent.
They were just doing the best they could do.
I remember after Rick Warren’s son committed suicide.  He said there were people who were there for him he never expected.  Some of the people he had expected were not there for him.  He realized all of them were doing the best they could do.  Even the ones who didn’t show up.  He realized everyone is just in different places on their journey.
The important thing is that God showed up through it all.  Keep your focus on Him! Don’t let anyone steer you off course.
 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.”  Isaiah 55:8
I’m reading several different authors at the moment.  I’m not sure which one it was who put this thought in my head:
Don’t limit God to what you know, what you have experienced.  If you do you will have a very one dimensional God.   (My words, not a quote.)
I’m learning I have done exactly that.  I have created a one dimensional God based on what I know from my life.  Just because I haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not an aspect of God.  If I don’t know it, doesn’t mean it’s not an aspect of God.
God is personal to each of us.  He shows up to each of us in different ways.  I limit Him when I put Him into the confines of just what I know personally.
The more I learn about God it makes me realize how much I have yet to learn.   It makes me yearn to know more.  I love even though I’ve been walking with God all my life. Even though  I was born and raised in a Christ following home.  I’m still seeking.  I’m still searching to know Him deeper.
I have the privilege of working with people who just meet Jesus. I love how they tentatively ask questions they aren’t sure if they should ask.  There is nothing more fulfilling than watching someone get to know Jesus.  It’s exhilarating.  It’s encouraging.  It’s inspiring.
I’m just glad when you are on a journey with Christ it is never ending.  No matter where I am in my walk with Him.  It’s still exciting.  Still exhilarating.  Still encouraging.  Still inspiring.