Honest Reflections

4 minute read

“He opened the rock, and water gushed out; it flowed like a river in the desert.” (Psalm 105:41 NIV)

God makes the impossible possible.

When in crisis, panic can take control.  We can lose focus in the face of the mountain before us.  But nothing panics God.  He’s not taken off guard when the accident happens or the virus spreads.  No matter what the situation, God is in control. His sovereignty knows the answer to the dilemma before it ever occurs.  No matter what impossible situation you’re facing, God creates a way.  How do you know?  He brought water from a rock. 

I recently had the opportunity to see the production of Esther at the Sights and Sound Theater in Lancaster.  If God ever opens a door for you to see a show at this venue, go.   Esther is the story of a young Jewish girl who becomes Queen.  God strategically places her in a position where she can save her people.  However, when she first arrives at the palace, she didn’t know what God had in store for her.  Her uncle Mordecai is trying to find a way to get her a message.  He finds a scribe who works for the king and asks him to deliver a note to her.  The scribe, trying to describe how impossible this task is, replied.  “Getting a note to her is like parting the Red Sea.”  Without blinking, Mordecai responded, “So it is possible.”

Believe in the unbelievable.

For God to make the impossible possible, you have to believe.  When Moses parted the Red Sea, he first had faith:

“And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” (Exodus 14:13-14 NKJV)

In the face of the impossible, Moses didn’t doubt God’s ability.  He did not know what God would do, but He knew God would do something.  In his humanness, he didn’t think of parting the sea.  In God’s holiness, the sea parted.

“Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord caused the sea to go back by a strong east wind all that night, and made the sea into dry land, and the waters were divided.” (Exodus 14:21 NKJV)

Moses believed God had an answer for the Israelites situation.  When God told him to lift his staff, he raised his staff.  God did the rest.  Can you imagine how weird God’s instruction was to Moses?  But he didn’t doubt, he trusted.

Believe God has an answer for your situation.  Do what He prompts you to do.  Watch Him part the Red Sea for you.

Question of the Day:

What sea do you need God to part in your life?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 12:1-14:11 NIV, Hebrews 7:1-17 NIV, Psalm 105:37-45 NIV, Proverbs 27:3 NIV

4 minute read

“Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2 NIV)

Unsolicited praise from someone is the best praise.

Last week, my husband came home from his weekly tennis match with the guys.  This particular week was the 10th anniversary of the day I met my husband.  As I do, on our page, I wrote an adoring post or two about my man.  One of the guys, teasing him, said, “She’s a good writer, but she loves her some, Ron.”  When my husband told me this, my response was, “He said I was a good writer?”  My husband was astonished, “That’s what you got out of that story?”  Of course, I focused on the praise; who wouldn’t?  Unintentional complements carry weight.

Praise people regularly.

When someone does something good, acknowledge it.  Don’t hold back; use your words to lift them.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV)

Encouraging words start with a name.  As a coach, I meet people every day.  Remembering names is my biggest challenge and my highest priority.  Nothing praises a person more than remembering their name.  If you’ve ever had someone forget your name, you know what I mean.  An instant hurt occurs. Forgetting your name implies you aren’t significant enough to remember.  God taught me this lesson in a unique way.

While at a coach’s training in Greensborough, NC, I had the privilege to learn from Professional Tennis Registry (PTR) CEO, Dan Santorum.  When I walked into check-in, he was at the table.  I showed him my I.D. as requested.  Our conversation was brief and to the point, highly forgettable.  A few minutes later, when the training started, he began with his introductory speech.  As he spoke, he would mention someone’s name, mine included, outlining our day.  At the end of his talk, he said these words:

“While I was talking, I used your names.  What most of you don’t know,  one person’s name I did not use.  Who was it?”

I’ll never forget this group of 30-some coach’s looking around to see whose name he didn’t use.  From the back, a hand raised, Dan identified him as John.  Dan made his point.  When you forget someone’s name, they know it.  Make remembering names a priority in your coaching career.  Not knowing their name implies they don’t have value.  Everyone is important.  Because of Dan, when you listen to me on the courts, you hear names, not just instruction.

Start with a name.  Then look for ways to give unsolicited praise to the people God brings in your life.  Lift them.  Encourage them.  Let them know; they matter too.

Question of the Day:

Who can you praise today by remembering their name?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 10-11 NIV, Hebrews 6:1-20 NIV, Psalm 105:16-36 NIV, Proverbs 27:1-2 NIV

4 minute read

“Anyone who lives on milk…is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” (Hebrews 5:12-14 NIV)

No matter how much you’ve grown, you still have more to learn.

When babies are born, they are incapable of feeding themselves.  The newborn bodies depend entirely on the mother’s milk.  As they begin to grow, they start to eat solid foods.  From pureed peas to steak, the food keeps getting better the older you get.  Every child progresses at their own pace.  Some babies move to solid food faster than others, but they all get there eventually.  Whether fast or slow, both are growing.  

Pace is personal.

In ways, we are all still transitioning from milk to solid food.  Living life to the fullest means allowing God to teach you how to live.  Without a teachable spirit, growth doesn’t happen.  Everyone learns at a different pace.  And no one ever arrives, no matter what some people might think.  Just like babies don’t start eating steak, Christ-followers don’t start out knowing much about Jesus.  Most new believers only know He forgives sin and gives eternal life.  Salvation is the most important thing for people to know about Jesus, but it’s not the only thing people should know.  

Transitioning from milk to solid food means helping others know Jesus.  Once you’ve accepted His love and mercy, share it with others.  Spend time reading the scriptures.  Get to know who Jesus was and how He handled life’s situations.  As you do, you will share your new knowledge with others without even realizing it.  Don’t worry about the pace; just keep going.

Accepting isn’t giving up.  When we face the reality of a situation, it tells us where to start.  If a child can’t catch a ball, work on catching.  If a new Christ-follower has a question, answer it.   Answering questions deepen faith.  Thoughts you never had lead you to discoveries you’d never find.  Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you from talking and growing together as you search for answers.

God designed us to live in community.  All of us are on a journey of self-exploration, whether we realize it or not.  We all have questions only God can answer.  Accepting our limitations allows us to explore God’s infinity.  Discovering His divine power happens one revelation at a time:

“He reveals mysteries from the darkness and brings the deep darkness into the light.” (Job 12:22 NIV)

Move from milk to solid food as God reveals the mysteries in your life.  Trust His ways, find His answers.  Get to know Jesus better.  Share what you learn with others.

Question of the Day:

What mystery do you want God to reveal to you?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 7:1-9:11 NIV, Hebrews 5:1-14 NIV, Psalm 105:1-15 NIV, Proverbs 26:28 NIV

4 minute read

“Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them.” (Proverbs 26:27 NIV)

When you dig a pit, you fall into it.

Credit card debt is a pit, I know because I fell into it.  Like many others, my first credit card came when I was a freshman in college with no job.  Today, using plastic to pay for things is a way of life.  When I was in college, people used cash more than credit cards for purchases. Not having any money because I was a broke college student, I used credit to buy groceries.  I will never forget one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.  In line at the store, I handed the cashier my credit card.  The lady behind me was astonished.  She says, “Don’t you feel guilty eating food you haven’t paid for yet?”  She humiliated me.  I have never forgotten the moment.  Those were the first few shovels of the debt pit I dug for myself.

Pits take time to develop.

Pits don’t happen overnight.  Digging holes happen one shovel at a time.  My credit card debt accumulated over several years.  I didn’t max out the limit the first month; it took me time to get that to that point.  Maxed out credit was my rock bottom; I couldn’t get anymore.  None of that happened quickly, which is why you don’t know you’re digging a pit.  The slow pace doesn’t allow us to see the depth.

I dug that pit on my own, without Jesus.  During the time I was shoveling up loans, I wasn’t following Jesus.  My life centered on me, no one else, certainly not God.  To say I’m still recovering from the things I did to myself then is an understatement.  My most immense heartache is the people I hurt during that time, no one more than myself.  But thank God I hit rock bottom because the only place I had to look was up.

We may fall into the pits we dig for ourselves, but God pulls us out.  The moment we focus our eyes on Him, He starts lifting.  In my situation, He used my little brother.  Single at the time; I needed accountability.  Asking my brother for help was humbling for me, very hard to do.   He went through my finances, set up automatic payments, and devised a plan to get me out of debt.  His plan worked, along with Dave Ramsey’s financial course, I learned how to manage money.

Humility is the first step out of the pit.  Humbling ourselves before God, admitting our failures, is the first rung of the ladder.  With daily submission to God, He’ll lift us out of our pits.

Question of the Day:

What pit have you dug for yourself?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 3:16-6:14 NIV, Hebrews 4:1-16 NIV, Psalm 104:24-35 NIV, Proverbs 26:27 NIV

4 minute read

“For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything.” (Hebrews 3:4 NIV)

God has a master plan for your life.  When we submit to Him, we discover what He has in store for us.  But when we try to do life on our own, we’re building a house He never intended us to create.

As I’ve aged, I’ve learned a new appreciation for the saying, “She (or he) is her (his) own worst enemy.”   I can see my mom saying the phrase about different people in our lives, but I didn’t understand what she meant.  Now I have a better idea.  Some people can’t help themselves; every decision they make is a bad one.  I have discovered that people who make bad decisions don’t stop and think, nor do they ask for advice.  Instead, they assume they know everything and act as if they do, in the end, hurting themselves more than anyone else.

Build your house out of brick.

My brother’s are brick mason’s and contractors.  They have spent their lives building beautiful homes for people.  As a bricklayer, the going is slow because you lay one brick at a time.  After years of practice, the pace quickens, but the process doesn’t change.  Plans made, lines laid, mortar mixed, bricks placed precisely, one at a time.  Eventually, over time, the house takes shape, creating a fortress that is hard to destroy.  Each day is a brick, the decisions we make, building our home.

Just like bricklayers have a process they use to build a sturdy house, we can develop a decision-making process.  Solomon tells us how:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

First, acknowledge God in all things.  Admit you don’t know everything; instead, turn to the One who does.  Then submit your will to His will, even if you don’t understand what He is doing.  Choose to trust Him, then watch as He makes your paths straight.  Let the Master Bricklayer help you build a fortress no one can penetrate.

As houses get taller, bricklayers use scaffolding.  The metal bars connect, creating a platform for my brothers to stand on as they work.  Without the support of the connected ladders, they couldn’t finish their work.  We’re the same; when life gets too complicated, we need help.  As we reach higher and higher, God lifts us.   Through Him, we can do things we couldn’t do alone.

Don’t cause yourself harm with the decisions you make.  Instead, admit you don’t know everything.  Turn to the One who does, submit to God.  Let the builder of everything build your life.

Question of the Day:

Are you your own worst enemy?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 1:1-3:15 NIV, Hebrews 3 NIV, Psalm 104:1-23 NIV, Proverbs 26:24-26 NIV

4 minute read

“Smooth talk from an evil heart is like glaze on cracked pottery.” (Provers 26:23 NIV)

Evil hearts produce smooth talk.

Halloween dates back 2,000 years; its roots are the Celtic festival of Samhain.  On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther changed the Christian religion’s face when he posted his 95 Theses in Wittenburg, known as Reformation Day.  He wrote a list of 95 questions for debate, what resulted was the Protestant Reformation. Luther fought for the Bible’s translation and distribution to the common man, not just priests.  For Christ-followers, Luther paved the way for people to follow Jesus with their thoughts.  Rather than depending on the priest’s interpretation of the scriptures, Luther opened the door for people to read and interpret scripture themselves.  But when we think of Oct. 31st, we think of Halloween.  

Smooth talk’s evilness is subtle, misdirecting our attention.  Halloween’s appeal to our human nature diverts our attention from one of the most significant historical events for a Christ-follower.  Because of Martin Luther, we can discover Jesus on our own, through the sacred words of those who knew Him personally.  But that isn’t what October 31st is known for today.  Amazing how things change yet don’t change at the same time.  Evil versus good is a battle that never ends.

Good always wins.

Evil hearts never get far.  Whether words or actions, good always prevails.  Smooth talkers are easy to identify.  Typically, they won’t let you get a word in edgewise and have an answer for everything.  Working for New York, I met a lot of smooth talkers.  Things happen fast in the city, making life easier for smooth talkers to thrive, less accountability.  But even in the city, good always wins.

When I first started working for Nautica, I remember my first trip alone to the city.  Many smooth talkers in my life had convinced me I wouldn’t survive the journey.  My fears verbalized in their warnings.  A doctor’s visit provided valium for the trip; my nerves were so shot.  But I will never forget the moment I knew God was with me.  Standing in the aisle of the plane after landing in NY,  my cell phone buzzed.  Frank, the associate pastor of the church I was attending, was the caller.  When I answered, I’ll never forget what he said to me.  “I just called to tell you; God is in New York too.”  He knew of my anxiety, was praying for me, and felt compelled to call and say those words to me.  God always wins.

Smooth talk may come from an evil heart, but God will always prevail.  We might remember Halloween more than the Reformation, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.  Scripture stands the test of time; smooth talk doesn’t.

Question of the Day:

What battle has God won for you lately?

Further Reading: Lamentations 4-5 NIV, Hebrews 2:1-18 NIV, Psalm 103 NIV, Proverbs 26:23 NIV

4 minute read

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;  therefore I will wait for him.” (Lamentations 3:22-24 NIV)

When life is overwhelming, cry out to Jesus.

Lamentation’s author is unknown, a collection of five poems.  He’s writing about the fall of Jerusalem and the Exile, a world tragedy.  The words are out of suffering and pain.  As the chapter begins, the writer cries out to God; then, he changes his tune.  He remembers God can and will save them from their circumstances in His time.  

“Lament, prayer and grief are a crucial part of the journey of faith for God’s people in a broken world.  That is what the book of Lamentations is about.”  The Bible Project, ‘Lamentations’

Lamenting is allowed.

Lamenting is a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.  What I classify as “dark nights of the soul” is lamenting to me.  Wrestling with God about the pain you’re in, looking for hope when all seems lost.  We are allowed to grieve and grieve well; we need to let out the emotion. 

Recently, an event I attended reminded me of my mother, who passed away six years ago.  The emotions overwhelmed me.  Minutes after my husband pulled out of the parking lot; the tears started rolling down my cheeks.  For the next 48 hours, I grieved my mother’s loss deeply—something I hadn’t done in a while.  My heart physically hurt from missing her, realizing I won’t see her again until I get to heaven.  In my pain, I cried out to Jesus, asking Him for relief.

Relief came in the form of a butt dial.

My phone rang just as I was about to start my day.  The name on the screen was one I didn’t expect, a co-worker from over 20 years ago.  Without hesitation, I answered the phone.  We hadn’t spoken to each other in a decade.  We spent the next three and a half hours catching up with each other, sharing our hearts.   Before the call ended, we scheduled lunch.  God knew I needed my friend.  And the call began because the phone butt dialed in her pocket as she was out for her morning walk.  God’s divine intervention and answer to my lamenting.

Lament to God, let your heart’s sorrows out.  Whatever you feel, release it to Him.  Give Him your burdens, in return, take on His yoke:

“Take my yoke upon you…for I am gentle and humble in heart…you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

Allow yourself to lament, unloading your burdens to Jesus. Then put on His yoke and find rest.

Question of the Day:

What lament have you not expressed to God?

Further Reading:Lamentations 3 NIV, Hebrews 1 NIV, Psalm 102 NIV, Proverbs 26:21-22 NIV

4 minute read

“Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever—  no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.” (Philemon 1:15-16 NIV)

Separated for now so you will be together forever.

Breaks in relationships are complicated.  When a conflict happens that separates friends; we don’t always know why.  But in some cases, temporary separation is necessary to have them back forever.

Paul’s letter to Philemon is his shortest.  Philemon is a church leader, Onesimus, his slave who wronged him.  Paul meets Onesimus in prison.  After Onesimus becomes a Christ-follower, Paul sends him back to Philemon.  The letter is paving the way for Philemon to forgive Onesimus and embrace him as part of the family.  Culturally, Philemon had the right to exact penance from his former slave.  What he did, we don’t know.  But what Paul did was exemplify what Jesus would do.

Actions speak louder than words.

Paul’s letter to Philemon is the only one he doesn’t talk about Jesus’s death and resurrection.  He doesn’t have to because Philemon already understands the meaning of what Jesus did.  And because Paul is acting like Jesus, he expects Philemon to do the same.  Paul has forgiven and embraced Onesimus.  He met him when he was in prison, at one of the lowest points of both of their lives.  Paul loves Onesimus right where he is.  When we love people amid their bondage, we are showing them God’s grace and mercy.  Lives change when we love like Jesus.

Forgiving someone who hurt you isn’t a one-time occurrence. Each time the offense comes to mind, we must forgive again.  Philemon could only forgive Onesimus with the help of Jesus.  We have the same need if we’re to forgive those who hurt us.  When we decide to let go of the offense, we take a step towards reconciliation.  God’s forgiveness of us reconciled us to Him.  Our forgiveness of others shines Jesus light into a dark world, drawing people to Him.

But the separation was necessary for Philemon and Onesimus to have eternal friendship.  If Onesimus hadn’t wronged Philemon and run away, he would never have met Paul.  If he didn’t meet Paul, he would never have met Jesus.  For whatever reason, Onesimus had to go through what he went through to see Jesus’s truth finally.  We are the same as Onesimus.

God uses the circumstances in our lives to draw us to Him.  Whatever heartache you’re facing, God won’t waste.  He works all things to the good for those who believe and trust in Him (Romans 8:28 NIV).  

Today’s separation is tomorrow’s reconciliation.

Question of the Day:

Who do you need to forgive in your life to start the process of reconciliation?

Further Reading:Lamentations 1:1-2:22 NIV, Philemon 1 NIV, Psalm 101 NIV, Proverbs 26:20 NIV

4 minute read

“Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!” (Proverbs 26:18-19 NIV)

Jokes cause pain.

Raised with two brothers, I understand the pain that comes when people make fun of you.  No matter how old I am, they can make me feel less than with the words they speak to me—feelings of foolishness, embarrassment, rejection, and disappointment all roll together to fuel an ugly fire.  Words can’t express the extent of the pain.  For some reason, leaving behind our childish ways is more challenging in some situations than others.  But we can.

Times, when we feel the most hurt in this world is when turning to God is hardest.  Recently, when my brother’s once again made me feel less than, I asked God a question.  “Are you really there?”  Sometimes, God doesn’t seem present.  We seek Him, but He doesn’t seem to answer.  Prayers we’ve prayed for years go unanswered.  God’s intangibility is difficult when we crave tangible.   

Choose to believe

As I sat in my quiet place, waiting for a sign of God’s presence, I thought of my friend Mike.  After his son was murdered, and he almost lost his own life, Mike had to choose.  He spent his life following Jesus; would he still?  He chose God.  When I asked God, “Are you there?” I had a choice.  Thinking of Mike, I responded to God.  “I choose to believe You are.”

Another hard truth, you’ve made someone else the butt of your joke.  We all have at some point.  I’ve made fun of people.  God forgive me, but I have.  My brother’s treatment of me reminds me of that fact.  As I work through the pain, I recognize my own sin.  A particular instance comes to mind, which I’m humiliated to admit.  Years have gone by since the incident, and all is well, but I still feel the shame.

Words hurt.  They are arrows of death that sting deeply.  A fine line exists between having a little fun and making them the butt of the joke.  One thing is real, hurting people hurt others.  Sometimes, we take things too far in our joking because of our pain.

Full confession, in my past, I made fun of others out of my pain.  Placing attention on others takes it away from me.  Following Jesus words changed my ways:

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,” (Matthew 12:36 ESV)

Instead of tearing down with words, build people up:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

Shoot arrows of love with your words.  Give life with love.

Question of the Day:

Who do you need to build up with words of love today?

Further Reading:Jeremiah 51:54-52:34 NIV, Titus 3:1-15 NIV, Psalm 100:1-5 NIV, Proverbs 26:18-19 NIV

4 minute read

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:3-5 NIV) 

Older women who are reverent make the best mentors.

Reverent women are submissive and humble, according to Webster’s Dictionary of 1828.  Part of the definition reads “a reverent posture in prayer.”  When I read those words, a vision of a woman on her knees, silently pouring her heart out to the Lord as she seeks His strength, flashed before my eyes.  The solitary figure is communing with her Maker, submitting her life to Him.  As the years slip by, the relationship between them continues to grow deeper and deeper.  She recognizes, now is a time to put away childish ways.

Two things I often heard from my mother’s mouth. “Act your age.” And, “You’re old enough to know better.”  Gratefully, my mom lived long enough for us to have an adult relationship.  However, the older I got, the more I heard those sayings came from her lips.  Moms are always moms. And they’re usually right, as was my mother when she uttered those words to me.  She was my mentor, a woman who was reverent of the Lord.

Reverent women know better.

Reverent women understand the consequences of actions.  Typically, they’ve lived long enough to experience what younger women are currently going through.  Older moms know how to survive the sleepless nights and thankless days:

“What has been will be again,  what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV)

God’s provision is what helped them persevere.  They’ve faced the bitter nights of the soul and found Jesus.

Submissive and humble is not the same as meek and mild.  When we come before the Lord with a heart of contrition, we gain His strength.  We understand the battles we are to fight and the ones to avoid.  He gives us the direction we need when we don’t know.  In the face of our enemies, He is victorious. 

And we are to share what we learn with others.  Wisdom comes as we walk with the Lord.  When you meet a woman who walks with a humble spirit and submissive heart, learn from her.  Ask her over for coffee.  Begin a Bible study with her.  Pursue a relationship; find out how she handles the pressures of life.  When you do, she’ll lead you to Jesus.

Find a mentor, learn from them.  In return, mentor someone.  Life’s circle is never-ending.

Question of the Day:

Who is mentoring you, who are you mentoring?

Further Reading: Jeremiah 51:1-53 NIV, Titus 2 NIV, Psalm 99:1-9 NIV, Proverbs 26:17 NIV