Honest Reflections

“The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” (Proverbs 22:7 NIV)

No debt equals freedom.

My mom and aunt had a saying.  Anytime we went somewhere and I was nervous about what people would think, they would say it.  “Do you owe them any money?”  I’d answer no, the reply was always the same.  “Then you don’t have to care what they think about you.”  In their minds, and I agree with them, as long as you weren’t in debt to someone, what they think of you isn’t important.  But if you owe them money, that changes everything.

When we owe someone money, they have a hold on us.  In today’s world, credit is readily available at a young age.  My first credit card came freshman year in college, when I didn’t have a job.  Meanwhile, my hard working, self-employed brother’s had to threaten to close their bank accounts in order to get a credit card.  They actually had jobs, making money.  Meanwhile, I had no money, but a card that ignored that fact.  Needless to say, I didn’t take long running up the balance.  I became a slave to the credit card company.  The day I paid off my last credit card, I started sleeping better at night.  My debt paid, I was free.

Jesus paid the debt that frees our soul.

We owe all to Jesus. He paid the debt we never could:

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23 NIV)

 All He asks in return for the sacrifice He made: love God, love others (Mark 12:30-31 NIV).  We can only do that well when we seek Him daily.  

Wednesday mornings I’m part of a prayer group.  Currently, we’re exploring the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.  God gave us a Helper:

“If you love me, keep my commands.  And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—  the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.” (John 14:15-17 NIV)

Jesus commands us to love, then makes loving God and others possible with the help of the Holy Spirit.  He knows we can’t do what He wants without help.  The Holy Spirit helps us make good decisions.  He dwells within us, never leaving us, always helping us. Each morning we can renew our Spirit as we spend time with God.

Freedom comes through Jesus.  His Spirit lives in us, guiding and directing our ways.  When we submit to Him, our souls are free from the burden of sin.

Question of the Day:

Have you asked God to renew your Spirit today?

Further Reading: Job 28:1-30:31 NIV, 2 Corinthians 2:12-17 NIV, Psalm 42 NIV, Proverbs 22:7 NIV

“Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me.” (Psalm 41:9 NIV)

A friend’s betrayal stings.

David is writing this Psalm.  Jesus applied this verse to Judas Iscariot when he betrayed Him.  At the last supper, before Jesus’ crucifixion, the disciples shared a meal together.  Jesus said someone would betray Him.  When they asked who, “Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me” (Matthew 26:23 NIV).  Jesus understood what having a friend turn against you is like.  In fact, Judas’s betrayal led to Jesus’ death.  Thankfully, the story doesn’t end with the betrayal.

Unfortunately, in life, we will all experience betrayal.  Someone we love will hurt us deeply with their actions.  Betrayals are hard to let go of because they represent a breaking of trust.  Broken trust takes time to re-build, if ever.  Sometimes, the person doing the betraying has no interest in reconciling the relationship.  If they don’t take ownership for their actions, the relationship is impossible to restore.  We can’t control someone else’s actions, but we can control ours.  We can rise above the betrayal like Jesus did.  We can forgive them, we can pray for them, and we can keep on going.

Forgive, pray, move.

We don’t expect friends to betray us, but they do. Jesus knew Judas would betray Him:  

“Jesus responded, “Haven’t I handpicked you, the Twelve? Still, one of you is a devil!” He was referring to Judas, son of Simon Iscariot. This man—one from the Twelve!—was even then getting ready to betray him.” (John 6:70 MSG)

Jesus understands humanity.  He knows why Judas betrayed Him.  He didn’t want Judas to betray Him, but Judas succumbed to the temptations of the world.  We all are guilty of giving in to the devil’s schemes:  

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers…the spiritual forces of evil.” (Ephesians 6:12 NIV)

Jesus chose the person who would lead to His death to disciple.  He loved the man who betrayed him, knowing what he would do.  But Jesus didn’t enable Judas.  He let Judas follow the path he chose.  We have the choice of who we love and follow.  When we choose Jesus, we choose the path that leads to wholeness.  We choose the One who overcame all temptation in this world.  The One who died for us so we could have a relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Each day God gives us will have different challenges.  When we start our day by asking a God for a renewal of His Spirit within us, He leads the way.  He goes before us and prepares our path.  He helps us to forgive, He helps us pray, He helps us move.

Question of the Day:

Have you asked God to renew His Spirit within you today?

Further Reading:  Job 23-27 NIV, 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11 NIV, Psalm 41 NIV, Proverbs 22:5-6 NIV

“Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all.” (Proverbs 22:2 NIV)

God made us all.

No matter how much money you have, or don’t have, God is our creator.  God created the earth, then He created the people.  We all have God in common.

A few years ago, I went on my first international mission trip to El Salvador.  This trip was my first time visiting a Third World Country.  In the days before I left, I was nervous about how I would connect with the people I was going to serve.  Our lives are completely different.  The luxuries we live with in the U.S., clean running water, electricity, they didn’t have. But then God used a non-believer to remind me of this simple fact, God was our connection.

God connects us all.

God reminded me at breakfast with a friend.  My friend isn’t a Christ follower.  She knows I am.  We were talking about the mission trip, I was sharing with her my concern of connecting.  In the conversation, I told her about today’s verse.  She said to me, “That’s what you have in common,  God.”  She was right.  She saw the connection I couldn’t at that time.  And she wasn’t a believer.  God can use anyone, at any time.

One of my most memorable worship experiences was with the friends I met in El Salvador.  We visited their home.  Windowless, no electricity, a cistern of bug infected water and an outhouse for a bathroom, they had built a makeshift church on the side of their abode.  We ate lunch in the “sanctuary.”  A chicken was in the plastic chair behind me, the floor was dirt, the table was wobbly.  The room was not large.  At the front were a few musical instruments.  After lunch, the family we were visiting went to the front and led us in worship.  Their voices were off-key, no powerpoint, no pulpit.  Just a few people, singing their hearts out to the same God I do.  We worshiped together.  The experience is one I will never forget.

God created us all.  We have Him in common.  Whether we believe in Him or not, He connects us to one another.   We all have purpose.  We all have a role to play.  The question we should ask, “What is God’s purpose for my life?”

When we seek God daily, He reveals His purpose.  The more we pursue Him, the more He uses us.  When I first started following God as an adult, I didn’t do what I do now.  First I started talking about Him with friends.  Then I started studying the Bible.  The more I practiced His word, the more I realized its truth.  The deeper we go with God, the more we grow.  He’s our common denominator.

Question of the Day:

How does God connect you with others in your life?

Further Reading:  Job 20-22 NIV, 2 Corinthians 1:1-11 NIV, Psalm 40:11-17 NIV, Proverbs 22:2-4 NIV

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NIV)

Do everything in love.

Jesus did everything in love.  He didn’t force His presence on anyone.  When someone disagreed with Him, He allowed them to disagree.  His response, always loving, always kind.  Even on the cross, just breaths away from death, he responded lovingly to the convict beside him when He said, “Truly I tell you, today, you will be with me in paradise”  (Luke 23:43 NIV).  Life changes when we do it with love.

When we lead with love, life changes.

Fireproof is a 2008 movie about a firefighter whose marriage has disintegrated because of his addiction to online pornorgraphy.  His wife is filing for divorce, he is at rock bottom.  But then he receives a challenge to do the “Love Dare.”  A thirty day challenge to do an act of love each day for his spouse.  He makes the commitment to love his wife daily with action.  He throws out the computer that tempts him to watch porn.  He starts doing what the challenge tells him to do.  At first, she doesn’t believe his actions of love.  Slowly, over time, she begins to see he is a changed man.  She didn’t change, he did.

Love changes us.  When we put others’ needs before our own, we grow.  Selfishness is innate in all of us.  Judging is too.  We are good at putting ourselves first.  We’re good at judging others for one reason or another.  What takes work is loving like Jesus, wholly and completely, no matter what we judge.

“Then Jesus answered, “Will you really lay down your life for me?” (John 13:38 NIV)

Jesus is talking to Peter in the above verse.  He’s telling Peter that he will deny him three times before morning.  Peter can’t believe he would ever do such a thing, yet he does.  We’re just like Peter.  We love Jesus, but we deny Him when it’s convenient.  

“But whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 10:33 NIV)

Jesus laid down His life for us.  He never denied knowing us.  He loved us completely.  How are we to love like Jesus?  Completely.  But in our humanness, we will never love as well as Him.  We can certainly try though.

We can follow the prompts from God to go the extra mile.  We can put aside our own needs and wants for others.  Loving others is a day by day thing.  Every situation is different.  Sometimes, the best way to love is help.  Sometimes, the best way to love is let them suffer the consequences.  Jesus didn’t stop Peter from denying Him.  He just loved Him anyway, right where he was.

When we lead with love, life changes.

Question of the Day:

How can you lead with love today?

Further Reading: Job 16:1-19:29 NIV, 1 Corinthians 16:1-24 NIV, Psalm 40:1-10 NIV, Proverbs 22:1 NIV

“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”” (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV)

Birds of a feather flock together.

Flock is “a number of birds of one kind feeding, resting, or traveling together.” Whoever your “flock” is affects who you are.  The people in your life influence you.  If they are making good decisions, they will help you make good decisions.  The opposite also applies.  Choose who you surround yourself with each day.  You control who you spend time with, how much time you spend with them, and the effect they have on you.  In other words, create boundaries.

Boundaries are key to healthy relationships.  Therapistaid.com defines personal boundaries like this: 

Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. A person with healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they are also comfortable opening themselves up to intimacy and close relationships.

Boundaries take work.  This free worksheet from the site can help you set healthy limits.  Every day, you have to set some type of boundaries.  Because of COVID, interest in tennis has risen.  If I wanted too, I could teach private lessons every day of the week.  However, working everyday isn’t healthy for me mentally or physically.  In order to maintain a healthy work/home life balance, I must set boundaries.  Once I set them, I must stick to them.  Currently, I have black out times on my calendar.  The reserved spots are for family and friends, I don’t book lessons during those time periods.

Healthy boundaries means healthy life.

Allow yourself to set boundaries. You can say no to spending time with people who bring you down.  Instead, say yes to people who lift you up and encourage you.  Intentionally develop those relationships in your life.  Identify people who have a positive influence, build those relationships.

In tennis, in order to become a better player you need three types of practice partners.  One player is stronger, one is the same, one weaker than you.  Stronger players force you to rise to the next level of your game.  The same level player allows you to practice shots and patterns to improve your game.  Playing against a weaker player allows you to work on shots you don’t have confidence to use against stronger players.  Just like tennis, we need three types of people in our lives.

We need mentors.  People who have life experience that help us grow.  We need friends.  People who walk beside us, traveling through life together, supporting each other along the way.  And we need people who we mentor.  People who your life experience can help them with theirs.

Birds of a feather flock together.  You have the ability to pick the flock.  Choose wisely the flocks you develop.

Question of the Day:

Have you done an inventory of your flock lately?

Further Reading: Job 12-15NIV, 1 Corinthians 15:29-58 NIV, Psalm 39:1-13 NIV, Proverbs 21:30-31 NIV

“Indeed, I know that this is true.  But how can mere mortals prove their innocence before God? (Job 9:2 NIV)

Honesty with God equals innocence.

One thing God has taught me lately, we’re not hiding anything.  Those secrets you think no one knows, God knows.  He knows more about us than we know about ourselves.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13 NIV)

When we pour out our hearts to God in sincere repentance, He declares us innocent.  God already knows your secrets, you aren’t telling Him anything He doesn’t already know. Tell Him everything, forgive yourself.  Find renewal as God gives you new life:

“We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.” (Romans 3:22 NLT)

Bildad questioned Job’s Innocence

Today’s verse comes from a conversation Job has with his second friend, Bildad.  Job, a man experiencing deep heartache and pain is keeping his eyes on God.  Bildad is offering an explanation for why Job is suffering.  Obviously, from Bildad’s perspective, Job has a secret sin he needs to confess, therefore God is punishing him.  Bildad isn’t God, neither are we.  We’re not to judge, we’re to love.

Job doesn’t need someone making him feel worse than he already does.  He’s lost his children, his livelihood and has boils all over his body.  The guy needs comfort, not a guilt trip.  But Bildad wants answers.  If he can explain why Job is experiencing this pain, then maybe he can avoid having to experience the pain himself?  He doesn’t want to go through what Job is going through.  He wants an answer so he can avoid the pain.  He’s thinking of himself more than he’s thinking about Job.

Bad things happen to good people with no explanation.  Life is a mystery out of our control.  We will never have all of the answers to our questions on this side of eternity.  No matter how hard Bildad tries to find an answer, he won’t.  Job knows this, so does God.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

God is in control.  He has a plan for each of our lives.  Wherever God leads you, He’ll provide for you.  But you won’t understand everything, neither will your friends.

Some questions don’t have answers.  Acceptance of this fact comes with faith in God.  Trust that He knows the answer, even if you don’t.  Trust His plan is best.

Get honest with God.  Tell Him your secrets.  Let Jesus make you innocent.

Question of the Day:

What secret does God know about you that you haven’t told Him yet?

Further Reading: Job 8-11 NIV, 1 Corinthians 15:1-28 NIV,  Psalm 38:1-22 NIV, Proverbs 21:28-29 NIV

“Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty” (Job 5:17 NIV)

Know-it-all’s don’t know it all.

Eliphaz is one of Job’s know-it-all friends.  We met Job yesterday.  He’s lost his children, his livestock and servants.  When we meet him today, his health is also affected.  He’s lost almost everything.  He still has his life and his wife.  Eliphaz has come to comfort him in his distress.  

Dealing with people who experience deep tragedy is difficult.  Knowing what words to say to them is hard.  Some people, like Eliphaz, need an explanation for why the person is experiencing the heartache.  He reasons Job is suffering because he has unconfessed sin.  Why else would God punish him like this?  The problem is, Eliphaz doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  Most people who think they know why God does something don’t.  Only God knows why He does what He does.

Only God knows His intent.

When something bad happens to someone, we often assume they’ve done something to deserve it. God is punishing them.  Eliphaz assumes that about Job.  That assumption is not true.  None of us deserve anything.  All of us fall short from the mark of perfection.  Our sins may differ, but we all sin.  Therefore, we don’t deserve the blessings we do have.  The penalty for sin is death, period.  We all sin, we all will die.  But through Jesus, we have eternal life.  His grace forgives our sin.  Each breath we take we owe him a debt of gratitude.  Without God, nothing exists.

Job understood God’s grace.  He realized, all he has is God’s to do with what He wants.  We are only caretakers. 

The truth is, sometimes life doesn’t make sense.  Bad things happen to people we deem good.  One thing we need to remember: we’re not God.  We don’t know the full situation.  Sometimes, we will never know the “why” until we meet Him in heaven. 

If we get hung up on the “Why?” we miss out on an opportunity to love.

Eliphaz was so busy trying to explain away the situation, he missed an opportunity to love his friend.  What Job needed was someone to sit with him in his misery.  He didn’t need useless words.  Silence is okay.  We don’t always have to talk.

One of the hardest memorials I attended was for my friend Bryan. A young father, murdered just after his 41st birthday.  What words do you say when you look into a grieving mother’s eyes at a moment like this?  The only words I could say were, “I love you.  I’m praying for you.”  Showing up, putting your arms around them,  walking with them through their heart ache, those acts of love are worth far more than empty words.  

Love is always the right answer.  Know-it-alls don’t know it all.  Ignore them, listen to God.

Question of the Day:

What “Know-it-all” do you need to ignore today?

Further Reading: Job 4-7 NIV, 1 Corinthians 14:18-40 NIV, Psalm 37:30-40 NIV, Proverbs 21:27 NIV

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.  The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” (Job 1:21-22 NIV)

Worship prevents sinning.

Our hero today is Job. Forty chapters exist in the book named for him.  His story is the oldest book in the Bible.  We meet him right after tragedy has struck.  He’s lost his family, his livestock and servants.  These events happened because of a conversation between God and Satan.  As usual, Satan is accusing.  He thinks the only reason Job is faithful to God is because he hasn’t had any hardship in his life.  Satan is wrong.

Job’s response to his losses is worship.  He tore his clothes, shaved his head and fell to the ground in worship of his one and only God.  As a result, he didn’t sin.  He kept his focus on God.

Worship keeps our focus on God.

In the midst of his tragedy, Job turned to the One who could help him.  He didn’t believe his life was free from pain and heartache.  He accepted his fate because he trusted in God.  He devoted his life to God.  All he had was and is God’s.  In Job’s mind, God had sovereignty over his life.  If God wanted to take everything away, that was His choice.

Worship draws our heart closer to God’s:

“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice, he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2 NIV)

The more we worship God, the more we worship God.  As we lift our eyes to the skies, focusing our hearts on Him, our spirits unite.

“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” (John 4:24 NIV)

For over twenty years, I’ve made a practice of reading through the Bible in a year.  Each time I got to the book of Job, I dreaded it.  His trials and tribulations remind me the same thing can happen to me.  God has control of my life, He can do what He wants.  The suffering Job endured, no one wants.  But then I did a study of the book by Lisa Harper.  “Job: A Story of Unlikely Joy” is one I highly recommend. 

I got past the conversation with Satan.  When studying Job, people get hung up on why God even chats with Satan.  But if we can’t get past those few verses, we won’t unearth the beauty found within the pages.  We will miss the story of friendship that unfolds as Job’s friends counsel him.

Job teaches us many lessons.  First, worship prevents you from sinning.

Question of the Day:

Have you spent time worshiping God today?

Further Reading: Job 1-3 NIV,  1 Corinthians 14:1-17 NIV, Psalm 37:12-29 NIV, Proverbs 21:25-26 NIV

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthian 13: 4-8 NIV)

God defines love for me.

The Bible, to me, is a collection of love stories.  When I read through the pages, I look for love.  God’s love is always present.  People struggle with the stories of the Old Testament, more violence and rape exists in its pages than any movie screen.  The New Testament’s brutality is just as bad.  Crucifixion is a horrible way to die.  The person can’t breathe normally and dies from asphyxiation, lack of oxygen to the blood cells.  Yet in the midst of a horrible death we find the greatest act of love for us.

Love is action.

Jesus’ death on the cross was an action of love.  He sacrificed His life because of His love for us.  And He did it willingly to enable a relationship with God we can have no other way.  Jesus’ act exemplified the words in today’s verses.

Patient. Kind. Not Envious. Humble. Honoring. Selfless. Forgiving. Truthful. Protecting. Trustworthy. Hopeful. Perseveres. Never fails.  

Putting someone else before yourself is an act of love.

My husband plans out his last bite at every meal.  He saves his favorite food for the final fork load.   I didn’t learn this until years into our marriage.  One random conversation with a friend revealed this to me.  Worst yet, for years, I had taken his last bite, not realizing it.  He never said a word.  His act of not telling me was love.  Now that I am aware he does this with every meal, my not taking his last bite is an act of love back to him.  Love in action.

God’s love for us is unconditional, that means no limits to it.  Whatever you think you’ve done that is unworthy of God’s love, you are wrong.

John Newton wrote Amazing Grace.  Before he started following Jesus, he was a slave trader.  For years, he witnessed the brutality of slavery, and condoned it.  Not until he met Jesus did he realize what he was doing.  He quit and became a minister.  And he wrote these words:

Amazing grace! How Sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed!

God’s love is unconditional.  Lavish in His love today.

Question of the Day:

How does God’s love define love for you?

Further Reading: Esther 8:1-10:3 NIV, 1 Corinthians 12:27-13:13 NIV, Psalm 37:1-11 NIV, Proverbs 21:23-24 NIV

“For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14 NIV)

Your purpose is specific to your life.  No one else can do what you can do.

Esther is facing the decision of a lifetime when we meet her.  Should she risk her life to save the Jews, or not?  She’s a jewish orphan married to King Xerxes.   Haman, one of the king’s officials is plotting to kill all Jews.  Esther’s uncle, Mordecai tells Esther she must get the king’s help.  The problem, the king hasn’t sought her company in awhile.  In Esther’s time, if  the king doesn’t call for you and you go to him, you may die.  What Mordecai was asking her to do could result in her death.  

Esther was a wise woman.  Before she did anything, she and her people fasted and prayed for three days.   No one else was in the position she was to help save the Jewish people.  No one else had the influence over the king like she did.  God placed her in a specific place, for a specific purpose.

Your place, your purpose.

Place and purpose change over a lifetime.  Today’s purpose is different from tomorrow’s.  What seems small is big.  What is big, small.  Each day is a building block to your life purpose.

Esther was an orphan, taken in by her uncle when her parents died.  She lived with him until the king began his search for a queen.  When called into the king, she kept it simple.  He fell for her.  She became his queen.  Esther didn’t engineer any of it, she just lived the life God gave her.  Day in, day out, which led to this pivotal moment.  An orphan, now in a position to save her people.  Read her story in “Further Reading” below.

One other thing to note, if you don’t fulfill your purpose, someone else will.  Mordecai told Esther this.  If she didn’t help, God would raise someone else up to do the work.  But Esther would miss the blessing.  Her family name would no longer exist.

When God calls us to a purpose, we have a choice.  We can fulfill it or not.  God has someone else who can do it.  But He wants you to do it. He wants you to grow, He wants you to receive the blessing.  Just like Esther grew. Just like Esther received the blessing.

Your life has purpose.  You were made for such a time as this.  Don’t miss what God is doing.

Question of the Day:

Are you missing what God is doing in your life?

Further Reading: Esther 4:1-7:10 NIV, 1 Corinthians 12:1-26 NIV, Psalm 36:1-12 NIV, Proverbs 21:21-22 NIV