Honest Reflections

“Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 NIV

Today I am thankful for my niece Casey, her entrance into this world changed my life forever.  I haven’t written about her before because she doesn’t like me to write about her. She prefers her privacy.  Today is different though, today is her birthday, a day I will be grateful for forever. I was living in Pennsylvania, on a college trip to New York City the day she was born.  I did not get to meet her until Christmas. I instantly fell in love with her, I knew I had to move to Virginia. I wanted to be a part of her life, I didn’t want to miss a minute of it.  I wanted to be her Aunt Margie. My aunt had meant so much to me, had been a part of my life from the start, I wanted Casey to have an aunt like I had. Of course, I had big shoes to fill and fell deeply short of them, but I tried. 

I had managed to get on academic probation at the school I was attending the spring after Casey was born.  I had to go in front of the academic review board at the end of the semester. They told me I would have to take summer classes to make up the classes I had failed, then I would be able to attend in the fall.  I did as they said, making all A’s. When I went to register for my fall classes they told me I was not enrolled. I once again had to go in front of the academic review board. I will never forget that Tuesday.  They now had a whole new list of requirements for me to follow, some I knew were impossible to keep. I looked those scholarly men and women in the eyes and said, “No thanks.” I’ll never forget the shocked look on their faces as I left the room.  I went home, called my brother and told him I was moving in with him. I packed all I owned in green garbage bags, threw them in my old Chevy Cavalier and headed south on Thursday. Friday I began working two jobs to save for tuition to start school in January.  I don’t know if I would have done that if it wouldn’t have been for Casey. She is the closest thing to a daughter the Lord has given me, and I’m grateful. She is Cody’s sister, his best friend. She motivated me to make a life change I desperately needed to make.  God used her to get me where I am now.

I am grateful for Casey.  I am grateful for our afternoon naps together when she was a toddler.  I am thankful for the bike rides we took, the movies we saw, the fun we have had.  I am grateful that because of her, my life changed forever. May her life be blessed in all she does, may our relationship always be close, may she never doubt the love God and I have for her. 

Today I am thankful for Casey, my life change.  What are you thankful for?

“Looking at them, Jesus said, “With man it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God.”  Mark 10:27 CSB

The day before I wrote this, I had coffee with my young friend Julia.  As I stood in line with her and her Mom, Pat, the moment felt surreal. Just two months prior, we didn’t know if Julia was going to make it.  She had given up the will to live, she had lost all hope. In desperation, I posted in our group, asking for prayers and cards to be sent. Soon after the first card arrived, I heard hope in Pat’s voice,  hope I hadn’t heard in months. Things truly started to turn around. A new doctor was brought onto the case with fresh eyes. He had a solution, more surgery was required, but he felt confident it would work.  The surgery was successful, within weeks Julia was released from the hospital. Four weeks later, we stood together in line at Starbucks. I was standing beside a walking miracle. I never thought I’d see her like this again, yet God had other plans.

Julia’s story started in 8th grade.  She had cysts that caused her to be bed ridden for 2 weeks, being bed ridden caused her digestive system to begin to shut down.  This began an eight year journey that has included 10 major surgeries, the loss of her colon, rectum, gall bladder and a ⅓ of her small intestine.  She has seen doctor’s all over the country who didn’t know what to do for her. Her parents were her advocates as they searched for someone who could help their daughter.  She entered the hospital on April 6th this year, her mother’s birthday. She would not leave again until Sept. 30th, 2 days after her 21st birthday. On July fourth, the doctor’s in Virginia Beach said there was nothing more they could do for her.  At 9:00 that evening she was in an ambulance on her way to Duke University, her only hope. The days were dark, the valley was deep, hope was lost. But then strangers who didn’t even know her started to fill her room with cards. They told her how they were praying for her, how God loved her.  As I sat with them on the bright October day having coffee, they shared how they were comforted knowing others were praying for them when they had lost the ability to pray.

As I’ve walked with Pat and Julia through this, our faith has been tested.  Every time there seemed to be hope, it would be quickly dashed. We learned not to get excited when there seemed to be an end in sight, because it never was.  Even now, it’s hard to grasp the miracle that has happened. Yet it has. In January, Julia will start back to school, God willing. Why is it miracles are so hard to believe?  Over and over again, we see in His word the truth of miracles, yet have a hard time believing in them.

I’m thankful for Julia, she is a walking miracle I’m grateful to call friend.
What are you thankful for today?

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.  Therefore my heart celebrates, and I give thanks to Him with my song.”

I am thankful for the song that our founder Heather’s life sings for God.  Heather, as many of you know, has dedicated the last part of 2019 to head bowed, hands open.  Whatever prompting she gets from God, she’s following. In the time since she made that decision she has hosted a fundraiser, committed to leading the 6th grade girls group and spoken at a women’s retreat.  She meant what she said when she made a commitment to God to follow Him, no matter what He asked. She is passionate in her relationship with God, following Him to the best of her ability.

In the verse above, where it mentions, “my heart celebrating,”  I thought of it as the overflow of a passionate life lived for the Lord.  Our songs are the lives we lead, the choices we make. At our recent women’s retreat, Heather talked to us about fear.  She shared how she had overcome her own fears when she first started leading a group. From that one decision to take a step of faith, her life has never been the same.  Now, years later, she’s led several groups and started this one. God has used her willingness, her passion for Him, for His glory. At the end of her talk, Heather asked us to each write down the answer to a question.  What would you do for Jesus if you knew you wouldn’t fail? After we each had written our answer down, we passed our card around to someone else. We then spent time praying for whoever’s card we had, if we had any thoughts for them, we wrote those down as well.  We then read our card to the group, whoever’s card it was would then tell us a little about their dream. There is power in speaking your fears, there is power in praying for them, and for giving them to God. Heather challenged us to go after our dreams, pursue God will all of our hearts, not let our fears get in the way.

As you think back over your life, what song are you singing?  Are you living your best life now, or are you waiting for some unknown future time.  Heather’s willingness to live with her head bowed and her hands open, reminds us all, the time is now.  Don’t wait to do what God is prompting you to do, do it now. Trust in Him that He’ll show you the way. Follow Him passionately, let Him take you where He wants to take you.  Our days are numbered, only God knows how long we have. Don’t let fear keep you from achieving all God has for you.  

Today I’m thankful for Heather and her passion.  What are you thankful for?

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, since it is sanctified by the word of God and by prayer.”  1 Timothy 4:4-5 CSB

Today I’m thankful for my new friend Carolyn who taught me about rest at our women’s retreat.  In her talk, she explained how rest is to be restorative for us. But each of us are not restored in the same way.  I loved this point she made. Often times, I think we all think there is a formula for rest, but there isn’t. I find rest when I spend time with my husband.  The day after the retreat, I found rest with him while watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I had never seen the movies before, he had been wanting a rainy Sunday to watch them again.  We did just that. After church, I made a big pot of chicken noodle soup and we settled in for an afternoon of Tolkien.  We sat side by side.  We ate soup, we held hands.  We had a very restful day which restored both of us.  Others may find rest by working on a puzzle, or taking a nap.  Rest restores us, and we need it.

As Carolyn said, rest is “the first thing we cut, but should be the first thing we prioritize.”  She taught us how God incorporated rest into our lives by creating the Sabbath, a day where you cease to work.  We are commanded to have a day of rest in the 10 Commandments.  Rest is a way we show faith.  When we are resting, we’re showing God we trust Him to run the world, we don’t have too.  Rest restores our soul (Psalm 23:2-3 ESV).  Rest comes in many different forms for all of us, whatever restores us is rest.  Yet we don’t rest because we don’t think it is important. We have every intention of taking the day off, but then the kids have a ball game, your neighbor needs help or an unexpected project at work pops up.  When we don’t make time to rest, we’re playing into the devil’s hands. He wants us worn out and tired, he doesn’t have to work as hard at distracting us when we’re out of energy. When we’re depleted we don’t make good decisions, our brains get tired too.

Carolyn reminded me of the importance of rest.  Why do we need it, why we don’t get it, and what we need to do to get it.  One of my favorite quotes comes from her husband, “The good is the enemy of the best.”  He is so right. We think we’re doing good when we don’t prioritize rest in our lives because we’re doing something good.  We’re watching the ball game, helping the neighbor, doing the project. But in reality, the lack of rest is keeping us from doing our best.  We aren’t at our best if our heart isn’t in what we’re doing. If we’re resentful to be at the ball game, irritated to help our neighbor, or stressed while doing the project, that’s not our best.  Good is the enemy of best.

Today I’m thankful for Carolyn.  She taught me about rest. What are you thankful for?

“For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.”  Ecclesiastes 4:10 CSB

Today is my sister-in-law Jill’s birthday.  I’m thankful to Jill for teaching me what it is like to have a sister.  My sister was so much older than me, we never lived in the same house together, she seemed more like an aunt.  But Jill, seems like my sister, minus the “in-law.” I was still in highschool when we met and she’s been a part of the family ever since, it’s hard not to call her sister.  And Jill has always been there to pick me up when I’ve needed her too. She has always been able to see things in me I can’t see in myself. She helps me to see them too. We’ve had our good times, we’ve had our bad times, but we’ve always been family.

Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one because they have good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 CSB).  We all need friends in our lives, people we can count on when we’re in the valleys of life.  

I recently watched the Lord of the Rings with my husband.  The friendship between Froto and Sam was the kind of friendship Solomon was talking about.  There is this poignant moment near the end of the movie. Froto can’t go any further, he has no energy left.  Sam, barely with any strength himself, picks him up and begins to carry him up the mountain. When Froto tried to leave him behind, multiple times, Sam just ignored him and kept going.  Sam knew the importance of the journey they were on, he knew the importance of reaching their destination. He also knew the heavy burden Froto was carrying with him, Sam helped him carry the burden.  I am blessed, because God has given me that type of friend in Jill. I am blessed because my brother chose well, and gave me a sister. I am blessed because I have a sister that helps carry my burdens.

Today I am thankful for sisters.  What are you thankful for?

“I will thank the Lord for His righteousness; I will sing about the name of the Lord Most High.” Psalm 7:17 CSB

Today I’m thankful for Joyce who taught me about guilt at the women’s retreat.  Joyce educated me to the fact that women spend 6-8 hours a week feeling guilty. That equates to 300-400 hours a year spent feeling guilty.  We suffer from two types of guilt. Genuine guilt is when we do something wrong and know we’ve done it. Imaginary guilt is the guilt we feel, even though we haven’t done anything wrong.  Guilt deceives us. I love this point Joyce made, we feel guilty when we sin, we feel guilty when we don’t sin. Joyce was speaking right to me. I knew exactly what she was talking about.  But we can combat the guilt we feel. Joyce gave us practical ways how to overcome our feelings of guilt.

We need to look at the evidence, staying focused on what is true.  Make a list if you need to, it will remind you of all you are doing.  If you are suffering from imaginary guilt because you think you are disappointing someone, ask them.  Ask them what they need and listen to what they say. Appreciate yourself and all that you do. We tend to focus on what we’re doing wrong instead of all of the things we’re doing right.  Be as compassionate with yourself as you would be with others. Reverse the situation in your mind, give yourself grace. Remember, we live in the “gray area” of life. Life isn’t black and white, it is always shades of gray.  Joyce explained the gray area like this, we don’t live at the extremes, we live somewhere in the middle. We’re not always unhappy, we’re not always happy, we’re a mixture of both somewhere in the middle. We live in the gray area.  Guilt is not our normal emotion, it is just an emotion we experience periodically. Allow yourself grace to take care of you. We can’t care for others if we aren’t healthy. We’re allowed to be healthy.

Guilt does have a good purpose.  When we have sinned or hurt someone, guilt is  conviction from the Holy Spirit we’ve done something wrong.  Guilt makes us apologize when we were short with our family. Guilt alerts us when we’re heading down the wrong path.  I feel guilty if I eat too many cookies, for me, that’s a wrong path. Guilt helps me steer clear of it. We have to acknowledge the guilt, determine what type of guilt it is.  Once we do, we can either deal with our wrong actions or let it go.  

Today I’m thankful for all I learned about guilt from Joyce.  And I’m thankful for her evening prayers, great is her faithfulness.  What are you thankful for?

“I always thank God for you because of the grace of God given to you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Corinthians 1:4 CSB

Today would have been Cody’s 26th birthday, of course I’m thankful for him today.  One of the things Cody taught me most was patience. Cody could test my patience like few others.  He had very strong opinions and did not mind voicing them. He also had no problem not doing something he didn’t want to do.  God gave him a strong personality and used him to help me develop patience.  

You may have heard someone say, “I need to pray for patience.”  The typical response to this question is, “Don’t pray for patience, God will give you opportunities to practice it.”  The truth is, patience is something we work on every day, whether we realize it or not. We are working on patience when we’re waiting for the kids to get in the car.  We are working on patience when we’re stuck in traffic. We are working on patience when we’re waiting for our spouse to get home from work, or friend to come over for dinner. We are working on patience when we are waiting on the miracle. We are always working on patience.

Webster’s dictionary of 1828 defines patience perfectly. The suffering of afflictions, pain, toil, calamity, provocation or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper; endurance without murmuring or fretfulness.  In other words, patience is getting your feathers ruffled but no one knows it because you don’t show your frustration.  Patience is when the kids get in the car after waiting five minutes, instead of yelling, we make sure they haven’t forgotten anything.  Patience is when we’re stuck in traffic, instead of getting frustrated we thank God we’re exactly where He wants us to be, doing what He wants us to do.  Patience is when our spouse or friend is an hour late for dinner, instead of giving them attitude, we hug them and ask how their day was. Patience is waiting on the miracle without giving up hope.  Patience is staying focused on God and His purpose for our lives, not on our circumstances. God is always giving us the opportunity to practice patience. Whether we realize it or not is the question.  What opportunities is God giving you today to practice patience? Most likely, it’s the people you love He uses the most, I know it is with me. 

Today I’m thankful God used Cody to help me practice patience.  What are you thankful for today?

“I will thank the Lord with all my heart; I will declare all your wondrous works.” Psalm 9:1 CSB

After I finished writing yesterday’s devotional, I was thinking about what else I would be thankful for this month.  Immediately, all of the family birthdays we have this month made me thankful for people. November 1st was my cousin Karen’s birthday, she is the daughter of my Aunt Margie I wrote about a few weeks ago.  She carries her mother’s spirit in her. I love her so much, I can’t truly put it into words. She starts the month of November birthdays for my family. This thought made me think about how thankful I am for the people in my life, which then made it easy for me to fill up 28 days of thankful devotions.  I’m going to thank God for the people He has put in my life for the rest of the month.

My friend Melissa loves people better than most.  When you sit with her and have lunch, she gives you her full attention.  She isn’t checking her phone or looking at her watch. She does not commit to things she does not want to do.  She truly has an art for telling people no. She says no with such love and grace she doesn’t hurt people’s feelings.  She recently spoke at our women’s retreat on surrender. She challenged us all to share what our struggles were with each other so we could come alongside each other in prayer.  My favorite part of her talk was when she had us all write down something we needed to let go to God, then we all threw it into the fire when we were done. A truly exhilarating moment to see my biggest struggle go up in smoke as I gave it to God.  Melissa spoke to us from her chair, bathed in firelight. I can still see her beautiful face as she told us what God had laid on her heart.

Melissa and I share a secret.  Months ago, when I was struggling through a difficult time, Melissa and I had coffee.  I poured my heart out to her and she listened with ears of love. As I was leaving, we were hugging goodbye when she had an impression from God.  In fact, I was walking down the path to leave when she said, “I have no idea why, but the word “surrender” just came to me.” Whether she remembers  this conversation or not, I do not know. But I do. God has spoken to me through Melissa twice with the same message. Apparently I need to listen.  

I’m thankful for Melissa today.  Who are you thankful for today?

“Indeed, everything is for your benefit so that, as grace extends through more and more people, it may cause thanksgiving to increase to the glory of God.”  2 Corinthians 4:15 CSB

My husband educated me on who invented the World Wide Web.  Tim Berners Lee, (TimBL) is an English engineer and computer scientist.  He invented the world wide web because he wanted to save time.  When you write, you have to cite your sources. As I’m learning while working on my Masters, this is taken very seriously in the academic world.  Plagiarism is not tolerated, I use a website to check all of my papers for school before turning them in for grading. TimBL wanted to make this process easier.  He developed the web so he could imbed the references, just like I did on his name, as well as the Scripture above. If you click on either one of those links, they will take you to my source.  You can easily verify if I’m telling the truth or not. You can also research the topic more thoroughly if you want more information than what I have given. Because he wanted to make referencing easier, we now have a world of options open to us.  As my husband said, online dating exists because TimBL wanted to save time. Thanks to TimBL we can order food, watch a movie, shop for clothes and millions of other things, all from the luxury of our home. I’m thankful for the internet.

I’m thankful for the internet BECAUSE of the doors it opens to all of us.  I’m thankful for Facebook because it allows me to stay connected to people I otherwise would have lost touch with over the years.  I’m thankful for the ability to research any topic I want at a moments notice. I’m thankful for the internet because without it, this group wouldn’t exist and lives wouldn’t be changed.  But as with all things, the internet can easily be abused and not used for good. Facebook can become a comparison trap instead of a way to stay connected. Information on the web can be false.  As with all things, we have to learn to be discerning with the information we receive from the internet. We can’t believe everything we read or hear. A lot of the happy faces on Facebook are hiding pain and hurt behind them.  We have to discern the truth instead of compare ourselves to something that isn’t true. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, reminded them, we only know in part now, one day we will know fully (1 Corinthians 13:12 NIV). Before we judge, we need to remind ourselves we don’t know the whole story, we only know in part. 

What are you thankful for today?

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.”  1 Chronicles 16:34 CSB

One of my favorite things about the month of November is the inevitable Facebook challenge.  Each day, people post one thing for which they are thankful. I love the challenge because it causes people to focus on what they do have instead of what they don’t have. 

One thing we all have to be grateful for as we start this month of thankfulness is God. We have a God who loves us no matter how much we mess up. We have a God who created a way for us when there was none.  We have a God who made each of us unique, each of us gifted, each of us for a purpose. God is good, He is faithful, His love endures forever. The choice is ours how much we get to experience Him, the choice is ours how much time we spend with Him.  He can be front and center, or He can be in our back pocket, the choice is ours. November is a great month to move Him a little closer to front and center in all of our lives through the simple act of thankfulness. Each day, in the comments of the devotionals, thank God for something He did that day.  You can be thankful for getting to work on time or getting a clean bill of health from the doctor. Big or small, every day, each of us has something we can thank God for, it’s whether or not we acknowledge it.

I’m thankful that God loves me enough to teach me the lessons He teaches me. I’m thankful I’m better today than I was 20 years ago.  I’m not the same person I was before I started following God. I know I still have so far to go, but thank God I’m not where I was. We each can thank God for where He has brought us, what He has helped us overcome.  Each of us has faced different challenges, and obstacles but God has remained faithful. He has remained good. His love always endures. Oswald Chambers, a Scottish theologian, says we need to allow God to be as original with others as He is with us.  I love how God is original with each of us. When I hear people’s stories of how God has touched and changed their lives, I’m amazed at how intimate and personal they are. We just spent an amazing weekend at the women’s retreat for this group. Each woman had a unique story to share, each woman had experienced God in very personal ways. No two stories were the same, nor will they be in the future.  No two thank you’s are the same. So today, our first day of thankfulness, what are you thankful for? Comment below.