Honest Reflections

“Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23 CSB

Everyone needs a friend who is as faithful as my friend Heather.  She is my phone friend, she is the only person in my life I consistently talk to on the phone throughout the week.  As a Mom of 3, 2 teens and a preteen, finding time to connect can be difficult. But Heather does it. I always know to take her calls, because that means she has a moment she can talk.  Heather calls me when she is traveling between jobs for work. Sometimes those calls will come at 7:30 in the morning, sometimes noon, other times 6:00 at night. If she’s not driving for work, she’s driving her kids from one activity to another.  And she is faithful. She has never forgotten me, never given up on me, always calls. Our friendship spans almost 2 decades, and her faithfulness has kept it going.

Heather is faithful because she keeps calling.  She keeps checking in on me to make sure I’m doing ok.  For the longest time I didn’t call Heather, I was afraid to bother her because she lives such a hectic life.  It has only been in the last few years Heather has convinced me I can call her whenever I want. She promises me I’m not bothering her, if she’s in a meeting, she won’t answer.  Heather has pursued our friendship diligently, she is faithful. Heather does what Jesus does, she keeps showing up, time after time. In the same way Jesus never gives up on people, neither does Heather.  When we first met she was working in a food bank, feeding the homeless. I can still see her standing at the table, handing out bread, just like Jesus. And just like Jesus, I can call her anytime.  

Jesus is even more faithful than Heather.  He is waiting on us to turn to Him, to give Him our burdens so He can help us carry our load (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV).  Just like when I share my heart with Heather, Jesus is waiting for us to share our hearts with Him.  He already knows what is going on in our lives, He’s just waiting for us to include Him in them. And He keeps our secrets, just like Heather keeps mine.  When we confess our sins to Him, He doesn’t put them on the front page of the newspaper, He simply forgives us. He created us to be who we are, to fulfill each of our own purposes.  He loves us, unconditionally, warts and all. Jesus is truly our most faithful friend.

I’m thankful for faithfulness today.  What are you thankful for?

“Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord supports him with his hand.” Psalm 37:24 CSB

Today, I’m thankful for my friend Pat. Our friendship is a Divine Appointment from heaven that was fulfilled.  Pat lives in Williamsburg, VA, but we met in Mt. Pleasant, SC, what would appear to be randomly, but we know it wasn’t.  We had a mutual friend who had been trying to introduce us but it never happened, she moved to SC, so we thought that was the end of that.  But it was only the beginning. Unbeknownst to either Pat or I, we both visited our friend in SC over the same weekend, that is how we met. By the time we left that night we had decided to do a summer Bible study together and the rest is history.  God wanted us to meet,and God has held us up over the past 13 years.

Pat and I’s faith journey together has been challenging.  Her daughter’s illness over the past 8 years has tested us like nothing else. But God has carried us through it. There have been so many times in this journey when all hope seems to be gone, but then God raises beauty from ashes and resurrects life (Isaiah 61:3 NIV).  God gives new life where there is none.  When doctors in one hospital said they could do no more, new life would be found in another hospital, with other doctors.  New hope would be found. God has been intimately involved in our days, even if we couldn’t see it. Sheila Walsh, gifted speaker says it this way: “Some of God’s greatest gifts to us are wrapped in boxes that cause our hands to bleed when we open them.”  There is no doubt our hands have bled with some of the gifts that have been received from God, but it’s worth it.

None of us know the path God will call us to walk.  We often forget, we don’t need to know the whole story to read the first page.  We don’t need to know the entire journey to take the first step. We just have to depend on God to get us there.  We wouldn’t get out of bed if we knew the whole story, it would be too overwhelming. But if we take it day by day, we can get through anything.  Pat and I have learned, life is best lived day by day, trusting God to guide us through it, His hand holding us up.

I’m thankful for God’s hand.  What are you thankful for?

“For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead.”  James 2:26 CSB

When we have faith, we move forward in life.  When we believe God is with us, God is for us, not against us, it allows us to do His work.  God has always guided my career, when I look back over my life, I can see how He has been intricately involved in every step, even when I didn’t know it at the time.  Just like when I got an email from my business partner, Martha in the winter of 2015 that changed my life. I had left Nautica in January and was taking time off work to grieve the loss of my Mom and Cody.  Martha emailed me in February and asked me if I’d like to train to be a tennis coach for children 10 and Under. I said, “Sure, why not? I’m not doing anything else.” Long story short, that is how our partnership began. A year later we formed Hampton Roads Tennis Academy.  We just finished our fifth year of teaching. We teach all ages, children through adults. God used Martha to help heal my broken heart. I can not put into words how much she means to me, how much our friendship means to me, how much I love her.

I love having a partner because they have your back.  I always know Martha has my back, I never doubt that because Martha is a woman of her word.  She does what she says she will do, she shows up when she’s supposed too, I can trust her. I love having a partner because they help you share the work.  Martha handles all of the emails, phone calls and front end or our business. I handle all of the back end, the books, website, etc. When one of us is gone for a week, no one misses us more than the other.  Being partners allows us to share the load, neither one of us has to do it all by ourselves. I love having partners because they understand exactly how hard it can be some days, because they’re in the trenches with you.  When the heat is scorching, the kids are whining and your feet are hurting, they know exactly what that feels like. Partners can sympathize with you like no one else can. I love having a partner because together we make better decisions and hold each other accountable.  Martha double checks my work for me. When I create fliers, she helps me design them. When we run a promotion, she helps me decide what’s best. We make all of our decisions together, and together we make better decisions. I love having a partner.

We all have partners in life, whether business or personal.  Our spouses are our partners. We find partners at work to keep each other going, partners at the gym to help us perform at our best, partners in life that help us get through the tough days.  We need partners to keep us going, and our greatest partner is God. He knows all, sees all, loves all. When we partner with Him, the sky’s the limit.

I’m thankful for partners today.  What are you thankful for?

“Rejoice always, pray continually.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16

My white wicker desk has a glass overlay on top of it, under the overlay are pictures, scriptures and quotes that are near and dear to my heart.  This morning, as I was getting ready to write today’s devotional, a bright, pink block caught my eye. At the top of it I have handwritten, “HOW TO PRAY FOR PEOPLE.”  I’ve spent the month thanking God for the people He has given me, I thought it would be worth the time to share how I pray for them.

The scripture I model my prayers after is Philippians 1:9-11 NIV:

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”

From these verses are four principles we can use to pray for people.  First we can pray they grow in love, “this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.”  Second, we can pray they make wise choices, “so that you may be able to discern what is best.” Then we pray that they will live with integrity, “and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ.”  Lastly, we can pray they will become like Jesus, “filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ-to the glory and praise of God.” That is my model for praying for people, I have no idea where I found it, or who penned it first.  This block has been on my desk for many years, I try to use it often.

I did learn one lesson from my dear Cody, sometimes it’s best to pray it, than say it.  I dropped Cody off at school one morning, as he was getting out of the car, I randomly said, “Make good choices today.”  Well, he didn’t, nothing major, but he got in a little trouble at school that day. He told me in the afternoon, I was never to tell him to make good choices again.  I never did, but I always prayed that he would. In a recent Andy Stanley message in a series title, “How Not to be Your Own Worst Enemy,” he made the point that other people can see areas in our lives where we’re on the wrong path, but we can’t see it.  Not only can’t we see it, but we don’t want to hear what they have to say. When faced with situations like this, praying silently for the person, using the above model is the best option. We tend to discount the power of prayer because the results of it aren’t always easily seen.  God doesn’t work on our timetable, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t working. When we pray for people, we need to give Him time to work. Often times, we’ll find, we’re the one He changes, not them.

Today I’m thankful for prayer.  What are you thankful for?

“Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion and kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another.  Just as the Lord has forgiven, so you are also to forgive.” Collossians 3:12-13 CSB

Today is my mother-in-law’s birthday, as well as my little brother Ron’s birthday.  I did not know my mother-in-law well, she passed away three years after we were married, she had alzheimer’s.  The little time I had to know her before she lost all memory was very short. But I do know, she raised an amazing son and I will always be grateful.  Not only is it her birthday, but it’s also her wedding anniversary. She made it easy on my father-in-law, he only had one date to remember for two big events.  If she hadn’t been born and they hadn’t been married, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And there is my little brother Ron who stands 6ft, 7in tall and weighs more than most.  I can’t get my arms around him when I hug him, he is a mountain of a man, which is why I love calling him “Little Brother!” He has been my rock in times of despair, my friend in times of need, my champion in times of battle.  They are part of my family, and family are our stomping grounds for practicing today’s verse.

Family is where we learn how to put on compassion and kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Family is where we learn to forgive. When Ron’s mom, Page was in end stage alzheimer’s, I knelt beside her bed and held her hand.  I prayed over her, hugged her and loved her to the best of my ability. When my little brother ratted me out to my mom for stealing Dad’s cigarette butts and trying to smoke them, I learned to forgive.  When he continued to rat me out over the course of a lifetime, I continued to forgive. And when our mother was declining and we had to take care of her together, my brother and I grew up together in a whole new way.  Family is our stomping grounds for learning to love fully and completely.

I know not all families are the same.  I know there is heartache in some families I can’t begin to understand.  But there is one family that you are accepted into that is perfect, the family of God.  In His family we can find the love we so desperately seek. In His family we find forgiveness, we find compassion and kindness, humility and gentleness, we find patience.  We find Him.

Today I’m thankful for family.  What are you thankful for?

“The second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:39 CSB

The neighborhood I live in is very compact.  A lot of houses are crammed into a very small area.  We have a lot of military that are here for a year and gone.  In the seven years Ron and I have lived here, we’ve had a new neighbor each year in the house to our right.  Both neighbors to our left have been here since we moved in when we got married. Where I live now, compared to where I grew up is very different.  A lot of my neighbors I had as a child are still there. I didn’t know what it was like to have a constant stream of new neighbors moving in around me like I do now.  But my husband did, because he was raised in the military. He was born in Japan and has lived all over the world because of his Father’s career. He has taught me how to love new neighbors well.

The first time Ron and I had a new neighbor, he immediately wanted to go over to meet them.  I was too shy and afraid, I didn’t want to bother them. But I made a little gift bag and away we went, that was seven years ago.  Now, as soon as we get a new neighbor, I can’t wait to meet them. I can’t wait to hear about their lives. One of our neighbors took an intelligence job in D.C., we had to be interviewed for his clearance, that was fun.  One lovely couple were transferred to Hawaii. Our latest neighbors moved back to Chicago after making a go of it here with their young daughter, they just didn’t like East Coast living. Currently, their house sits empty as I wait for new friends to move into it. 

As I wait for new friends, I celebrate my old ones to the left. Last year, when Ernestine, a widow, had heart surgery, I was her contact person. I will never forget the day she knocked on my door and told me I was her person. I had no idea what she was talking about, but since her children both live far away, she needed someone near she could count on, she chose me.  What a privilege it was to help her through that time. Now she’s back out running the streets, bringing joy to the world everywhere she goes.

What I love most about neighbors is the opportunity to share Jesus with them.  Not in words, but in actions. Our Korean neighbors behind us, we share trash duty.  He always takes our trash can to the curb, we always bring his in after it has been collected.  He doesn’t speak English at all, but we have managed to find a way to communicate without words.  They brought us the best bread I have ever eaten at Christmas. Even though we don’t understand each other’s language, love overcomes all barriers.  We are able to love each other without words, just as Jesus did.

Today, I’m thankful for my neighbors and the opportunity to practice Jesus’s love on those closest to me.  What are you thankful for?

“I will be the same until your old age, and I will bear you up when you turn gray, I have made you, and I will carry you;  I will bear and rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4 CSB

My Bible was laying open to this chapter when I started my quiet time.  When my eyes landed on this verse, my heart swelled with gratitude for all God does for me, for all of us.  The subtitle of this chapter in my Bible says, “There is No one Like God.” The message is for the remnant of Israelites that are left, reminding them God has always been with them, always will be with them.  He is their God. And He is our God. He does the same for us.

I began writing this devotional yesterday, which isn’t typical.  Usually once I start writing one, I work until I finish it. But yesterday I couldn’t find the right scripture, until today.  When I read the last part of the verse where God carries us, where He bears and rescues us, I thought of our first responders.  The men and women who rush into danger when everyone else is running out. I thought of the fireman coming out of a burning building, a child in his arms he has just rescued.  I thought of the police officer putting his life on the line every day to protect others. I thought of the EMT’s that rush to accidents, trying desperately to save lives. They are His hands and feet here on earth.  They are the ones He sends in to literally carry us out of danger, they bear and rescue us. These men and women are His image bearers.

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness…God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”  We use the term “God’s hand and feet” often, but I’m not sure we truly understand, it really is all of us. First Responders give us a vivid picture of what it means in extreme circumstances.  But so do working Mom’s who, after a long day at the office, come home to cook dinner and take care of their children. The loving wife as she cares for her ailing husband. The friend who drives in the middle of the night to hug you when they know you need it.  When we hold the door open for someone or smile at a stranger, all of these acts are ways we’re God’s hands and feet. All of us have a part to play.

I’m thankful for First Responders who put their lives on the line every day for us.  What are you thankful for?

“So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.”  Romans 14:12 CSB

I’m thankful for my friend Sarene, she keeps me on track with Scripture.  I make mistakes when I write the Scripture reference sometimes at the top of the devotional.  Sarene double checks me every day. I’m writing this on Oct. 24th, I had the Scripture reference incorrect on the devotional.  I had Isaiah 41:3, but it was actually Isaiah 43:1. I transposed the numbers, which I do from time to time. Sarene reads the entire chapter of whatever verse I post each day with the devotional.  Her discipline helps me serve each of you better. And she does it with such love, this morning’s text is an example. “Good morning beautiful! The Scripture reference doesn’t seem to match the verse.”  I can accept correction when it is done with such love. But Sarene helps me more than she knows.

Full transparency, I struggle with pride, always have, always will.  When I started on this path of writing, I had some pride issues that needed to be addressed.  Sarene helped me do that, and still does. The first time she sent me a text that my Scripture was wrong, I didn’t receive it as well as I do now.  I pridefully thought I couldn’t make a mistake, not after how hard I worked to write the devotionals, especially the Scripture. How could I possibly get the Scripture wrong?  But you know what, she was right. I did have the Scripture reference wrong. Usually it’s a typo, or I reversed the numbers, but whatever the reason it’s wrong. I never want to get the Scripture references wrong, I’m so thankful Sarene double checks me.  I count on her too double check me now. Sarene has helped me receive feedback on my work. She helps me stay humble, realizing I’m fallible as the next person. Her diligence makes me a better writer. I’ve asked her to hold me accountable and she does with love and grace.  I’m grateful.

Accountability is something we all need, although we may not want it.  I establish accountability in all areas of my life. I attend WW for the accountability.  My husband and I have a budget, I’m accountable to him for the money I spend, as he is to me.  Sarene holds me accountable in my walk with God by making sure I get the Scriptures right. Ultimately, today’s Scripture means one day we will be accountable to God for all of our actions here on earth.  I know, left to my own devices I can get into trouble. But when I have family and friends who will lovingly correct me when I go astray, then I know I’m heading in the right direction.

Today I’m thankful for accountability.  What are you thankful for?

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy, dwell on these things.”  Phil. 4:8 CSB

Ten years ago on this day, in the middle of a violent thunderstorm, my friend Denny passed away.  His wife, Claudine was by his side. Denny was a transplant patient. Suffering from Hepatitis C, he needed a liver transplant.  They were on their way home from a doctor’s appointment in Richmond on 9/11/01 when they received a call they had found a match. He received a new liver that day.  Occurring on the same day as the falling of the twin towers, they had mixed emotions about the blessing. The donor was not a victim of the attacks. I met Denny shortly after the surgery.  I had become friends with Claudine in a women’s Bible study, a friendship that remains to this day. When I spoke at Denny’s memorial, I used today’s verse to describe him. Denny was all of those things to me.  He was an amazing guy I had the privilege to know.

I was single when I met Denny and Claudine.  They showed me what I wanted one day in a marriage.  They were best friends who loved Jesus together. Claudine and I would go for long bike rides together, often Denny would call while we were gone.  I never heard them hang up the phone without saying I love you. Denny had a patience with Claudine that was joyful to watch. He understood her in ways she didn’t understand herself.  When he passed, the heartache Claudine felt was hard to witness, their bond so close. But God was their core. He was their rock. Through them, I witnessed what a marriage centered on Jesus looked like up close and personal.  They didn’t put on pretense, they didn’t try to be someone they weren’t, they just tried to love like Jesus, always.

As I watched Denny’s journey, I saw his faith in God.  I watched his dependence on Him. Claudine and I did a Bible study on contentment in their home as Denny lay dying in the next room.  In the midst of their deepest valley, they sought God. I had the privilege of witnessing a faith like I had never seen before. I learned how intimately God is with us in our darkest moments.  I saw the faithfulness of God as He carried them through their days. I learned much about God through their friendship and the love they showed me. But I wouldn’t have met this amazing couple if it wasn’t for a Bible study. If I hadn’t signed up for Fit4Life, and sat beside Claudine, I would have never known the rest of the story. I would never have met Denny, I would never have experienced such a wonderful friendship.

Today, I’m thankful for Bible studies and the people they bring into my life.  What are you thankful for?

“Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; rebuke, correct, and encourage with great patience and teaching.” 2 Timothy 4:2 CSB

At my age, I have heard a lot of pastors preach.  I am grateful for them all, but there is one pastor who is above all the rest for me.  Reverend T. Donald Hamilton is a man I will never forget.  I can see his smiling face as I write these words.  He was my very first pastor at Tidal Presbyterian church and I loved him.  I cannot remember a time when I did not see him smiling. He loved to laugh, he loved the Steelers.  I remember my father commenting the Rev. Hamilton couldn’t preach a sermon without a Steeler analogy in it somewhere.  Whether that is true or not, I honestly can’t remember. But I do know this, Rev. Hamilton loved me as one of his flock my whole life.  Long after we had left the hills of Tidal, he never lost touch with us. He always knew what was going on in our lives. The only request we could not fulfill for my mother’s funeral was having him perform the ceremony, he was too sick.  He passed away not too long after Mom. Reverend Hamilton taught me about Jesus, not only through his sermons, but through his life long friendship with my family.

We take pastors for granted.  We don’t realize the sacrifices they are making with their own families when they are sitting vigil with us in the hospital.  We don’t realize the time and effort they put into their messages, trying to help us know and love God better. We have no idea how hard it is, week after week, getting up and preaching to a congregation that shows no emotion, and doesn’t engage.  One of my friends who has been a pastor for over 40 years says this about being called into ministry, “Try and do anything else, and if you still feel called, then you know it is of God.” Being a pastor isn’t just a job, it’s a calling. Being a pastor is a commitment to love the flock God gives you, to shepherd them and help them battle the enemy attacks.  Being a pastor is a lifetime commitment that can only be understood if you are one. I learned that from Reverend Hamilton by the example he set.

I am thankful for Reverend Hamilton because he introduced me to Jesus.  I’ll never forget the Sunday when I was 12 years old. I can’t remember the content of the message, but I remember the way it made me feel.  His message that day had left me with an urgency to ask Jesus into my life like never before, and so I did. My life has never been the same.

I’m thankful for pastors.  What are you thankful for today?