Honest Reflections

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3
Can you believe June is just a couple of days away?  We are already half way through 2018.  How is it possible?
I was in yoga this morning, thinking about my word of the year, which is COMMITMENT.  I was thinking how it has impacted these past six months.  It is what keeps me going back to my mat every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I keep thinking to myself, “I wonder how much sticking to this one routine will impact me physically at the end of the year?”
I can honestly say it’s the longest I have ever stuck with a regular workout routine in my life.  As I dove down into my forward fold this morning I realized my fingers were touching the mat and my legs were straight.  I couldn’t do that six months ago.  I also couldn’t do a slow push up, or chatarunga in yoga terminology, without belly flopping.  Now I can.  I can actually slowly lower my entire body to the floor without just plopping.  It is all because of my word for the year…COMMITMENT.
For the past six months I’ve done one class at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time.  As a result I am stronger, more flexible and in better shape than I think I have ever been.  I am more relaxed and I think I’m handling stress better, although my husband is the one who should answer that particular question.
I definitely feel more connected to God.  There is this one pose we do in yoga at the end of class.  You’re laying on your back, arms stretched out wide, legs straight up in the air.  It is the most empowering position for me.  I always pray the same simple prayer, “Fill me up Lord, fill me up!”  I just imagine His Spirit pouring into me, invigorating me, preparing me for the day ahead.  It has become my favorite moment of the one hour class.
Thinking about my word of the year made me realize it was time to check in with my goals for the year.  Keeping them in the forefront of my mind helps me accomplish them.  It helps me implement them into my life.
Just as a reminder, these are what mine are for this year:
My goals for 2018:
Spiritual:  Praying over my calendar on Monday mornings.  Finding and completing a domestic mission trip.
Physical:  Continue my two classes a week minimum.  Increase cardio workouts to 5-6 times a week.  (Cardio meaning walking, biking, zumba etc.)
Financial: Come in on budget personally each month.
Writing:  Write a blog weekly.
If I were to recap where I am at this point I would describe it in this one sentence. I have gone from thinking of them as goals to having made them a part of my life.
Praying over my calendar has become my favorite part of Monday (or sometimes Sunday afternoons).  I love looking over my calendar for the week ahead and seeing what is before me. I love thanking God for giving me another week.  For giving me divine assignments and tasks to complete.  I love knowing He is going before me and preparing the way.  Most important, I love knowing it is all covered in prayer before the week even starts.
I think I already covered the physical.  The one thing I’ve changed is my cardio routine.  I have bursitis in my achilles.  Definitely on the mend, but it was from over use playing tennis and walking.  Obviously the yoga is helping heal it.  I have switched to bike riding.  My most recent implementation is doing 20 minutes on the stationary bike as soon as I roll out of bed.  I get it done before I even know what is happening.  Better than a cup of coffee.
Financially, I have to confess, I almost didn’t make it on budget this month.  I was $59 over and I had tapped out my resources.  God is good though.  He provided as He always does.  I not only came in on budget but have extra in my account.  Just love how He always provides!
Writing my blog is going well.  The most exciting part of my writing is God has brought together a writing group for me.  I’m part of a group of amazing writer’s, all women who are meeting once a month to encourage and uplift each other.  It is so incredible to meet with them and share my passion.  They have spurred me on in ways I couldn’t of imagined.
Still have to do a domestic mission trip.  Haven’t lined anything up yet.  Considering I only have 6 months left of the year, I need to get working on it.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will establish your plans.”  Proverbs 16:3
My verse of the year.  I can honestly say, letting God be the cruise director of my life this year is phenomenal.  I would much rather be walking on water with Him than sitting in the boat trying to steer it myself.
How’s your year going?  Already half way there.  Time and tide wait for no one.

“Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant fighter from Kabzeel, performed great exploits. He struck down Moab’s two mightiest warriors. He also went down into a pit on a snowy day and killed a lion.”  1 Chronicles 11:22
The above verse was in my Bible reading today.  It is a hidden gem of a verse which was unpacked beautifully for me by Mark Batterson in his book, “Chase the Lion”.  Benaiah was one of David’s three mighty warriors.  As Mark talks about in his book, Benaiah had chasing lions on his resume.  No wonder he was one of the three!
Below is the Lion Chaser’s Manifesto from the book.  It is truly words to live by if at all possible.  I just wanted to share it with you in case you were thinking about chasing some lions.  It will give you a good start!

The Lion Chaser’s Manifesto

by Mark Batterson

Run to the roar.

Set God-sized goals.

Pursue God-ordained passions.

Go after a dream that’s destined to fail unless God intervenes.

Stop pointing out problems, become part of the solution.

Stop repeating the past and start creating the future.

Face your fears.

Fight for your dreams.

Grab opportunity by the mane and don’t let go.

Live like today is the first day and last day of your life.

Burn sinful bridges.

Blaze new trails.

Live for the applause of nail-scarred hands.

Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshipping what’s right with God.

Don’t try to be who you aren’t.

Be yourself.

Laugh at yourself.

Dare to fail.

Dare to dream.

Dare to be different.

Chase the lion!

“Come,” he said.  Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ”  Matthew 14:29
I watched a documentary yesterday titled, “Losing Sight of the Shore”.  It started with this quote:
“You can never cross the ocean without first losing sight of the shore.”  Christopher Columbus
It instantly captivated me.  The movie tells the tale of six women from the UK, whom together row across the Pacific Ocean.  They started in California and ended in Australia.  It was over 8,400 miles of rowing.  It took over 9 months to complete. They broke three world records in the process,  including being the first women to do it.  They were known as the “Coxless Crew”.  It is truly a fascinating journey, one worth the watch.
As I have pondered this since it reminded me of Philip Yancey’s book “If You Want to Walk on Water You Have to Get out of the Boat”.  It centers on the above passage from Matthew.  Peter had to get out of the boat before he could walk on water.  We have to lose sight of the shore to cross our oceans.  We have to have faith.
The tagline from the movie is “Everyone has a Pacific to cross.”  This got me thinking about what mine are.  I started thinking about some of the challenges in my life.  Steps of faith I needed to take which would eventually get me across the ocean.
Relationships are a constant challenge.  My relationship with God is challenging.  Trusting Him when I don’t understand why bad things happen is challenging.  Believing His will is best can be challenging.  Making Him a priority can be challenging.  Loving Him completely can be challenging.  It is a day by day journey in which I consciously choose to lose sight of the shore and follow Him into the deep water.  One row at a time.
Continuing to put God first helps me row into the deep waters of human relationships.  It helps me forgive people who have hurt me.  It helps me ask for forgiveness when I am the offender.  It helps me cross the ocean of broken relationships to restored relationships.  It helps me take steps of faith which may lead to rejection here on earth, knowing I will never be rejected by Him.  He helps me lose sight of the shore and cross the ocean.
There are so many oceans people have to cross.  Oceans of loss.  Oceans of turmoil.  There are oceans we’ve created ourselves and oceans created by others.  My ocean of weight loss was created by me.  When I lost my job it was created by someone else.  In both cases, God is the one who helped me get to the other side of it.  He is the one who helped me through the rough waters until I found the shore.
“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”  Matthew 14:30-31
It’s fascinating, Peter was doing great walking on water until He took his eyes off Jesus.  The minute he saw the wind he began to sink.  He lost his faith momentarily.  The minute he cried out, Jesus was there.  As soon as he had the Son back in his eyes, he could walk again.
It’s important to remember, as we cross our oceans, what the source of strength is.  We have to keep the Son in our eyes as we row our boats if we want to cross the Pacific.  The beauty is, even if we do lose sight for a moment, Jesus is right there waiting.  He will take our hand, lift us back up and help us keep going.
You do have to lose sight of the shore to cross the ocean, but you can’t lose sight of Jesus.  Where are you on your journey?  Are you still on the shore?  Are you in the middle of the ocean?  Have you taken your eyes off Jesus?
Where ever you are, take heart, He is there.  He is there to help you take the first step, the 99th step or the step to get you going again.  All you have to do is ask.  Before you know it, you too will have crossed an ocean!
 
 

“Even though I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger.  For you are with me; your and your staff-they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (CSB)
I just enjoyed a most uplifting stroll through the scriptures learning how faith overcomes fear.  It comes at the most apt time as  I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with life this morning when I sat down to my quiet time with God.
Life has a way of sneaking up on you while you’re making plans.  It is like having your back turned to a wave in the ocean, it knocks you down because you didn’t see it coming.  When we’re knocked down is when we are in the perfect position to receive His strength.
My source of strength is best accessed when I’m on my knees.  Knee-mail so to speak.  From my lips to God’s ears, He lifts me up and always places me back on my feet again.
I love what Isaiah 41:10 says:
“So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
No matter what you are facing today, God is holding your hand, tightly.  He is lifting you up.  He is helping you to stand.
There are over three hundred scriptures telling us to not be afraid.  The way to over come fear is with faith.  Beth Moore says in The Quest,  “Fear and faith cannot be roommates.  They will not coexist.  The one assigned authority automatically elbows the other off the space.  Fear can’t stand on a carpet of faith.”
If you want to overcome fear, replace it with faith.
How do you replace it with faith?  Apply God’s word to it.  Apply scriptures like these:
“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”  Isaiah 41:13

Remember what these verses are telling you.  God is with you always.  He is holding your hand.  He is helping you.  He knows your name and you are His.  He is your Rock!
Evict fear from your life.  Give the space to Faith.  Whatever it is, God’s got this…always!

“Then he asked, “Who told you that…” Genesis 3:11
I recently started working through the “Quest” by Beth Moore.  It’s a journey to a more intimate relationship with God.  It’s fascinating, enlightening and challenging all at once.
The Quest is based on answering five different questions: Where, Who, What, Why and How.  You hear these questions asked a lot in different ways for different reasons.  It’s great asking them about my relationship with God.
I love the second question she poses, “Who told you that?”  She is asking us to introspectively think of how we define ourselves.  Then answer the question, “Who told you that?”.
For instance, as do most women, I struggle with my body image.  If I define myself as fat, who told me I was fat? Who put the thought in my head? I could easily answer the question by looking at the cover of the latest fashion magazine.  Culture and the world around me tells me I’m not a size 2 everyday in a myriad of ways. It’s a constant bombardment. To combat that lie, I need to find out how God sees me.  To God, I am the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19). I am the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).  I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
Do you see where I’m going with this?  Who are you going to let define you?  The world around you or the one who created you (Gen. 1:26-27)?
I wanted to remind you today of who you really are:
You are called of God (2 Tim.1:9)
You are Chosen (Thessalonians 1:4)
You are the Apple of His Eye (Psalm 17:8)
You are being changed into His Image (2 Cor. 3:18)
You are a New Creation (2 Cor. 5:17)
You are the Temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19)
You are Forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
You are Redeemed (Gal 3:13)
You are Blessed (Galatians 3:9)
You are Above and Not Beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13)
You are Elect (Colossians 3:12)
You are Victorious (Revelations 12:11)
You are One in Christ (John 17:21)
You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made (Psalm 139:14)
You are Set Free (John 8:31)
Don’t forget it!

“Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”  Luke 9:23
I tend to be a black and white person.  I’m not a huge fan of all the shades of gray but I’m learning.  Thankfully, God gave me a husband who is all grace.  He sees all the shades and helps me to do so as well.
One of the areas I always struggle is when someone is searching for God’s will.  Don’t get me wrong, I love they are searching.  It’s where they are searching I struggle with by times.  80% of God’s will is already laid out for us.  It is in His Word.
I believe it can be summed in two verses:
 ^“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
Love God, Love others.  Seems simple enough.  We all know it isn’t.
Feelings get in the way of loving both God and people.  How easy is it for you to not agree with God?  Or God’s decisions in your life?  I can tell you I was 16 when my Dad died, I wasn’t God’s biggest fan then.  When I lost my job a few years later, again not the head cheerleader.  Those are just a couple of the many times I’ve struggled with God.  It has been years since both of those things happened.  As I look back on them now, I can see God in it the entire time.  He was there caring, loving and protecting me.  I just wasn’t looking around to see it.  I love Him more now than I ever could, partly because of those very situations.
Then there are people.  Just last week I had my feelings hurt so deeply it took days for me to work through it.  I leaned heavily into 1 Corinthians 13:12:
“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”
I have to tell you, as hard as it was for me to work through last week, I grew so much.  I had never applied this verse to relationships. It has totally changed the way I think.  It completely reminded me the person who hurt me didn’t even know it.  I could only see part of the situation, I had no idea what the whole situation was or even is.  God loves both of us and He knows the whole story.  I can trust Him. I don’t need to know all the details, I just need to love.
My bottom line.  It takes the rest of God’s Word to help me live out loving Him and loving people.  I’m grateful He wrote so much of it down for me, 80% in fact.  I find the other 20% takes care of itself.  I’m too busy trying to follow the 80% to even notice.
I do know this though, you have to read His word to find His will.  I also know feelings lie.  If I had listened to my feelings last week I would of lost a friend.  Instead, I’ve grown closer to God and preserved my friendship.
Don’t let your feelings shade the Son from your eyes.  Keep them focused directly on Him. He’ll show you the way!
 

“You, Lord, are my lamp;  the Lord turns my darkness into light.  With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.” 2 Samuel 22:29-30
I love this verse.  It was in my Bible reading yesterday and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.  Partly, I’m sure because it is now the screen saver on my Ipad…both screens.
God is really trying to tell me something through it.  You know how I know?  I was only going to make it my lock screen saver.  I really loved the picture I had on my Ipad prior, just an instant source of peace for me.  However, as I was setting it, I felt this instant sense I needed to do both.  It’s a verse God wants me to ponder over and pray about.  I need to memorize it.
It’s interesting at the timing of it too.  This past week I have felt defeated.  I have felt challenged at every turn.  Everything was hard this past week. Nothing came easily.    Discouraged would definitely have been how I described myself up until yesterday morning.   Ever since I read this verse and started thinking about it, I’ve begun to feel uplifted.  I’m ready to go into battle again.  As Paul tells us in his letter to the Ephesians, our battle isn’t against flesh and blood…but against spiritual forces (Eph. 6:12).
I need reminded of that every now and then.  People tend to wear me out.  But once I remember my battle isn’t with them I can gain new perspective.  It’s not the people who are wearing me out, it’s the spiritual battle.  Once I remember that the battle is spiritual, I instantly remember it is already won.  I’m not fighting it alone.  God has equipped me with everything I need for the victory.  Usually, it means getting out of the way and letting Him do His thing.
Whatever battle you’re fighting today or this week, just remember, you’re not alone!
 

“I planted, Apollos watered, but God kept everything growing.” 1 Corinthians 3:6
You know what is annoying?  Pollen!
I had a great day yesterday, productive.  Accomplished a lot.  By the time I went to teach a tennis lesson, my last job of the day, I was ready for a relaxing evening.  Weather was good, not too hot, not too cold.  There was pollen EVERYWHERE.  Those long spindly looking things from the trees.  It wasn’t until after I’d finished teaching that it really started to affect me.  By the time we arrived at our small group my eyes had started to water, I was sneezing and the misery had started.
All because of pollen.  Something so tiny had such a large affect on my evening.  I went from feeling great to feeling lousy in an hour. But we need the pollen to fertilize the plants. Eventually, they become the trees and flowers we love.  They go from ugly little spindly things, or the infamous yellow dusting which covers cars in VA, to a variety of beautiful vegetation in a wonderful array of colors.  It is just part of the growing process.
You know what else is annoying?  Those little grains of truth we receive at unexpected times which cause us to stop and examine ourselves,  our relationship with others and with God.
For instance, yesterday, in the midst of a conversation a trusted friend told me I’m too hard on myself.  It was a random comment which I have been thinking about ever since.  He’s not wrong, I am too hard on myself.  It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life.  I was surprised he had noticed.
For me, it’s a great reminder.  One of the fall outs of me being hard on myself is I can be hard on others.  I struggle with grace, I tend to fall more on the truth side of life.  I’m grateful for the comment, it’s already started to help me not only let myself off the hook, but extend grace to others.
It was the seed I needed to create a larger change.  Something which will result in a beautiful outcome somewhere else down the line.  God’s word often works for us in the same manner.  We’ll read a verse which resonates with us, it strikes a chord.  Hopefully, we’ll pause and think about it.  We’ll pray about it and ask God what He’s telling us through it.  Then as we begin to understand it, we start to apply it to our lives.  Hopefully this begins to bring about a change we didn’t even realize we needed.
Just as pollen is needed to fertilize the plants, we need the truths of God’s people and His word to fertilize our growth.  To spur us on to all God wants and means for us to be.
Growing can be difficult, but it is necessary.  It isn’t always an easy process.  It can be annoying.  It definitely takes time.  But the end result is worth it.  God can do miracles with a tiny seed!
Unfortunately though, we have to endure the pollen to spur on the growth!
 

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”   Psalm 121:1-2
My pastor started a new series this week, Hills and Valleys.  It’s talking about when life is good and when life is bad.  There is always the in between.
I am currently in the in between.  I don’t know whether I’m going up the hill or down into the valley.  I wonder how many of us are in the same position?
I run two small businesses.  I teach tennis and I walk dogs.  Both of them require me being on my feet.  I found out yesterday I have a spur at the end of my achilles.  It’s caused by chronic inflammation in the tendon.  In other words, six months ago when it started to bother me, if I’d paid attention to the pain I was feeling, I may not be in this boat.  I could of just rested it then for a few weeks and it would have been fine.
But I didn’t. I ignored the red flags.  Now I’m facing possible surgery and months of recovery.
What if I hadn’t ignored the red flags?  Hindsight is always 20/20.  I wonder why we do it to ourselves?  Why do ignore the signs? The warnings God places in our path to keep us from injuring ourselves?  It can be relationally, physically, financially.  There are so many times we see the symptoms but ignore the problem.
The friend who only calls when they need something and we’re always there.  The boyfriend/girlfriend who only cares about their needs and we push ours aside.  The pain we feel in our achilles but keep playing anyway.  The credit card we can’t pay off at the end of the month but we keep charging.
Just a few examples, and we’re all guilty of it at one point or another.  I can just imagine God looking down on me right now, shaking His head.  “I tried to warn you Beth.  You wouldn’t listen.  How much pain do you have to feel for me to get your attention?”
That’s just heartbreaking.  I think I’m so tight with God, yet sometimes I ignore His most obvious signs.  Thank You God for loving me anyway.  Forgive me for not listening.
I wonder what God is trying to tell you that you’re not hearing?  How much pain do you have to feel before you start listening?  I’m praying it’s not as much as mine!
 

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7
One of my favorite verses, so simple yet all encompassing.  No matter what your anxiety, God can handle it.
It’s Spring Break week in Virginia.  Ironically, I feel like it is more stressful than a normal week.  Everyone seems to be rushing to fit all they can into a seven day period before normal life resumes.
I’ve been busy writing a Bible study.  Wasn’t my plan for this week, but a meeting Monday night put me on this path.  It’s exhilarating when I have clear direction for my writing.  Often times, I struggle to find a topic.
It has been a break for me from my normal routine.  I’ve spent my afternoons writing.  It’s been wonderful, for me, I have found rest.  I’ve cast my anxiety on the Lord and He has given me purpose.
How about you?  How has your Spring Break been?