Honest Reflections

“David said to Saul, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.” (1 Samuel 17:32 NIV)

When you choose the right battle you will win.  The problem is choosing the right battle.  The battle David is choosing is one he knows he will win.  How does David know he will win this battle?  Because he has God on his side:

“The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Samuel 17:37 NIV)

David tended sheep.  He protected them from attacks:

“Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.  Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God.” (1 Samuel 17: 35-36 NIV)

David is still a shepherd when he brings supplies to Saul’s army.  He knows his strengths.  He knows his weaknesses.  He chose this battle because he knew he would win.  When we choose the right battles, we win.

When we choose the right battles, we win.

How do you know the right battles to choose?  Know your strengths.  David knew how to kill a giant.  He had killed giants before this day.  They weren’t human giants, they were lions and bears.  An adult, male lion weighs on average, 480 pounds. An adult male brown bear can weigh up to 1300 pounds.  When is the last time you met a human that weighed 1300 pounds?  David wasn’t afraid of Goliath, he had already killed many that were more ferocious than him.  If you know your strengths, you will know the right battles to choose.

In marriage, I have the opportunity to choose my battles regularly.  Oftentimes, I choose not to engage, even if I know I will win.  Battles in relationships aren’t about winning or losing.  Relationship struggles are about resolution.  I may have the strengths to win the battle, but that doesn’t mean I should fight the fight.  In relationships, the question isn’t: who can win the fight?  The question is: how do we find resolution?

Resolution in a relationship is more important than winning.  Resolution requires work.  When you decide not to engage in a battle that will harm the relationship, you will have resolution. We choose the right battles because we know our strengths.  We  find resolution because we know some battles aren’t worth choosing.  The decision is yours, do you want victory or do you want resolution?

Question of the Day:

What battle are you deciding about today?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 17:1-18:4 NIV, John 8:21-30 NIV, Psalm 111:1-10 NIV, Proverbs 15:11 NIV

“When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7 NIV)

The person you judge first is yourself.  Today’s verse is from one of my favorite stories in the Bible.  A woman, caught in adultery is dragged naked to where Jesus is teaching.  Jesus was in the temple courts, surrounded by people.  The Pharisees (religious leaders who thought highly of themselves), wanted her stoned for her sin.  These self-righteous men think they have Jesus cornered.  But they were wrong.  Jesus, in His infinite wisdom, bent and wrote in the dirt.  Then He rose and said these words:

 “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7b NIV)

Once again, Jesus bent and wrote in the dirt.  One by one, the crowd dispersed.  Finally, Jesus was left alone with the woman.  Lovingly, His eyes filled with warmth, He said to her:

“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?  “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:10-11 NIV)

The person you judge first is yourself.

Pointing the finger at another person’s faults is easy.  Pointing a finger at our own faults is hard.  One way I examine my actions is through Scripture.  I align my thoughts with God’s word, and He quickly reminds me, I’m not without sin.  Another way I examine my actions is through the trusted relationships I have in my life.  My husband and my closest friends are all people who speak truth in love to me.  These people help me take the plank out of my own eye:

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5 NIV)

I’m ashamed at how quickly I judge.  The deeper I draw into my relationship with God, the more aware of this ugly fact I am.  We all judge too quickly.  We make snap decisions with not enough information.  But if we focus on the plank in our own eye first, we’ll judge less.  We will recognize our own sin before we judge others.  We’ll stop judging others, we’ll start judging ourselves.  

Question of the Day:

What plank is in your eye?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 15:1-16:23 NIV, John 8:1-20 NIV, Psalm 110:1-7 NIV, Proverbs 15:8-10 NIV

“In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer.  

They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.” (Psalm 109:4-5 NIV)

When your friendship is rejected, pray.  When you did good and received evil, pray.  When a friend accuses you falsely, pray.  Before you do anything else, stop and pray.  If you take a moment to talk to God, you won’t regret your decision.  You won’t say or do something that will compound hurt feelings by acting rashly.  You will begin to calm your emotions and gain a better perspective.  When your friendship is rejected, pray.

When your friendship is rejected, pray.

We all experience rejection.  If you are an adult, you understand rejection is part of life.  When we understand the motives behind the rejection, we can accept it better.  Praying helps us understand the intent.  When we pray and seek God’s wisdom, He’ll give us His vision.  He’ll help us see our offender as He sees them. We are all children in His eyes.  Often, when God helps me see them through His eyes, I see the children they once were.

The vast majority of us had good childhoods, especially compared to third world countries.  We grew up with clothes on our back, food in our bellies and a roof over our heads.  Many of us had a period of innocence in our lives when our hearts weren’t broken.  A time where our biggest worry was what game to play next.  At some point, we had our first heartbreak, then our second and third.  Each time another layer formed around our heart, protection from future hurts.  But the layers don’t work, we are hurt again.  Eventually the soft, open heart of innocence is replaced by the hardened heart of brokenness.  In our pain of rejection, we reject others.  

Not only are we rejected, we reject people. In our brokenness, we are distrusting.  When we distrust, we reject not only those whose intent is to harm, but those whose intent is to help.  Praying can help us determine what to do, not only when we’re rejected, but when we reject others.  Praying is opening up our hearts to receive God’s goodness.  Our broken hearts heal and soften in His care.  

We will receive God’s grace as we share our heart with Him in prayer.  In His healing hands, we are healed.  Our softened hearts overflow with His love and mercy.  We will extend grace from our abundance, reflecting God to our broken friend. As we share our hearts with each other, reflecting God in our relationships, God’s Kingdom will grow.  His light shines so brightly through us, people can’t resist it.  The pain of rejection becomes the miracle of healing when we pray.  In the face of rejection, make prayer your answer. 

Question of the Day:

What rejection do you need to talk to God about today?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 14:1-52 NIV, John 7:31-53 NIV, Psalm 109:1-31NIV, Proverbs 15:5-7 NIV

“The soothing tongue is a tree of life,  but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4 NIV)

When you speak soothing words, you are a tree of life to others.  Soothing is defined as flattering; softening; assuaging. In other words, gentle.  When our speech is gentle towards others we bring life to them.  Always speak genuinely as well.  False flattery is worse than nothing at all:

“For their tongues shoot lies like poisoned arrows. They speak friendly words to their neighbors while scheming in their heart to kill them.” (Jeremiah 9:8 NLT)

When you lie to someone, inevitably you are harming them.  When you speak gentle words with genuine love, you give them life.  Soothing words bring life to those who receive them.

Soothing words bring life to those who receive them.

When we speak to others, the words of life we use will help them become the person God intended.  My husband speaks life into mine.  He tells me I can do anything I set my mind too.  He lifts me up when I am down with words of encouragement.  He tells me I’m beautiful when I feel I’m not.  When I criticize myself, he corrects me.  He doesn’t allow me to speak negatively about myself.  Not only does he speak soothing words to me, he helps me speak them to myself.  My husband is a source of life to me because of the words he speaks.

Paul gave explicit instruction to the Ephesians when he wrote to them:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

Speaking uplifting and encouraging words constantly is a challenge. My mother taught me if I don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.  She learned this lesson from Solomon:

“Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”  (Proverbs 13:3 NIV)

All of us are trees of life if we use wise words.  When we speak gently, in truth and love, we are a source of life that has endless possibilities.  When our soothing words are grounded in God’s promises, not only will we bring life, but life to the fullest.  We will help people realize the power of God’s presence in their lives.  The lives of those around us will flourish as they rely on God’s strength, not their own.  Their faith will grow as we encourage them to take the next steps in their relationship with God.  The garden of friends God has given us will blossom as we speak gentle words of love to them.  Soothing words bring life to those who receive them.

Question of the Day:

Who are you going to speak soothing words to today?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 12:1-13:23 NIV, John 7:1-30 NIV, Psalm 108:1-13 NIV, Proverbs 15:4 NIV

“Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.” (Psalm 107:2-3 NIV)

The easiest way to talk about God is to tell your story.  God has always been a part of my life.  From my youngest age, I remember going to church.  My mother taught me we are all brothers and sisters, no matter what color our skin is, we are all God’s children.  I was 12 when I understood the need for Jesus.  I didn’t  completely understand why I needed Him, but I knew I did.  And so with a childlike faith, I asked Him to come live in my heart. Forty years later, I still remember the moment my life changed with that prayer.  The easiest way to talk about God is to tell your story.

The easiest way to talk about God is to tell your story.

Peter tells us we should always be ready to give an answer:

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:15 NIV)

The best way to prepare to have an answer is to create one in advance.  A common practice Christ followers use is the 2-minute testimony, this 2-minute video helps us understand the concept.  First we must understand our testimony is our story of what God has done for us that no one else can do.  When we understand that, we can think of a couple of areas in our life that God has convicted us of our sin. Then we explain how He helped us change our ways.  When we share how our relationship with Jesus has changed our lives, we give others a vision of how He can change theirs.

For instance, when I was 29 years old the man I thought I was going to marry informed me he didn’t think I was the one for him.  I had given everything up for this man.  We were practically living together, which went against my beliefs. I was willing to sacrifice my beliefs for him.  When that relationship ended, I found myself at rock bottom, all alone.  I contacted a friend I hadn’t talked to in three years.  She had started a relationship with Jesus during the time we hadn’t spoken.  She shared with me what Jesus had done in her life.  She reminded me of the hope we have in Him.  Because of her, I gave my broken heart to Jesus, and He changed my life forever.

The easiest way to talk about God is to tell your story.

Question of the Day:

What is your 2-minute testimony?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 10:1-11:15 NIV, John 6:43-71 NIV, Psalm 107:1-43 NIV, Proverbs 15:1-3 NIV

Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?” Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” (John 6:28-29 NIV)

The work God wants you to do is believe in Jesus.  Before we can do anything else for God, we have to believe in His Son.  Why is it important to believe in Jesus?  Because once you believe in Him, your life changes forever.  In order to believe in Jesus, we must first admit we’re sinners.  We admit that what we are doing in our life isn’t working and we need help.  When we do that, and place our trust in Jesus, He will show us a new way to live.  The work God wants us to do is believe in Jesus.

The work God wants us to do is believe in Jesus.

When we believe in Jesus and place our faith in Him, we’ll want to do things differently.  The first thing we experience is His grace and mercy.  He forgives us of all our sins:

“Our sins are washed away and we are made clean because Christ gave His own body as a gift to God. He did this once for all time.” (Hebrews 10:10 NIV)

When we experience Jesus’ grace and mercy in our own lives, we want to share it with others.  We want them to know the new life we have found.  Jesus’ light shines into us, then through us to others.  God does the work, we don’t.  He’s the One who illuminates our lives in ways we never imagined.  He gives us dreams we would never have dreamt.  All He asks is that we put our faith in Him.

The fruits we begin to bear as we follow Jesus, against such things there is no law:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

The light that shines through us is communicated to others by the fruits we produce.  When we are kind to another person, we’re bearing good fruit.  When we show love to someone who thinks they are unlovable, we are being Christ in the flesh for them.  When we are faithful in our relationships, God’s light is shining.  As we practice self-control when emotions are threatening to overtake us, Jesus is being glorified.  When we find joy in the midst of heartache, peace in the middle of turmoil, love in the face of hate, we’re shining Jesus light for the world to see.

The work God wants us to do is believe in Jesus.  He takes care of the rest once we place our faith in Him.  

Question of the Day:

Have you done the work God wants you to do?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 8:1-9:27 NIV, John 6:22-42 NIV, Psalm 106:32-48 NIV, Proverbs 14:34-35 NIV

“But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his plan to unfold.” (Psalm 106:13 NIV)

We forget too quickly.  We forget too quickly what God has done for us.  When we are in the valley and life is overwhelming us, we cry out to God.  He answers.  He provides.  He helps us out of the valley. He gets us back on stable ground.  Once we are on solid ground again, feeling good, we quickly forget God.  We go back to doing what we were doing until we end up in the valley again, which is inevitable.  That’s when we once again remember God. We forget too quickly what God has done for us.

We forget too quickly what God has done for us.

The entire Bible is a collection of authors, writing down what God has done for them.  Over and over again in it’s pages we see people calling on God for help.  He helps them, then they immediately go back to their sinful ways.  Yet God still loved them, and He still loves us, even when we forget.

When I was single, I forgot God quickly when I was in a relationship.   I’d forget what He says about premarital relationships.  I’d forget what He says about marriage and its sanctity.  I’d forget quickly.  Until the relationship went south, then once again I’d call on God.  

I finally realized, this was not working.  I remember the moment I decided I was going all in with God.  I was going to do it His way. I was done forgetting Him.  No more sleeping around.  God taught me some of the most valuable lessons of my life because of that decision.  The first gentleman I met in church pressured me quickly to sleep with him.  I didn’t.  When he finally realized I was serious, he informed me of all the other women who were currently sleeping with him.  I had no idea.  I thought we were exclusive.  I was very wrong.  If I hadn’t put God first in that relationship, I would have never known.  I’ve never forgotten that lesson.

We forget too quickly what God has done for us, when we do, we miss His plan.  I would have missed His plan if I had done what I always did.  I wouldn’t be married to the love of my life, if I’d forgotten God back then.  When we remember God and all He has done, we’ll wait in anticipation for His plan to unfold for us.  And when His plan unfolds, we’ll be glad we remembered Him.

Question of the Day:

What is something God has done for you in the past that strengthens your relationship with Him today?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 5:1-7:17 NIV, John 6:1-21 NIV, Psalm 106:13-31 NIV, Proverbs 14:32-33 NIV

“A heart at peace gives life to the body,  but envy rots the bones.” (Proverbs 14:30 NIV)

Envy has the power to destroy your life.  It will rot your bones, and cause you untold strife.  But a heart at peace gives life to the body.  We all suffer from envy.  Andy Stanley, in a message on envy years ago, helped me identify envy in my life.  I couldn’t find that message, but here is another one of his messages on envy that is just as impactful.  

Andy used this phrase:  “It must be nice.”  When you find yourself saying, “It must be nice…” about something, that is a sign of envy.  It must be nice to be married to that person.  It must be nice to have that job.  It must be nice to make that much money.  It must be nice to live there.  It must be nice to have such good kids.  It must be nice…  Envy has the power to destroy your life, but “It must be nice…” has the power to save it.  Identifying your envy can help you find peace in your heart.

Identifying your envy can help you find peace in your heart.

Envy is wanting something we don’t have that we feel we deserve.  In reality, we don’t deserve anything.  We don’t deserve to be born in America, we don’t deserve to have a democratic society that allows us freedom of religion and speech.  Those are gifts from God that He gave us, just by being born in the United States.  People around the globe are envious that we live in America.  And we in America are envious of those around us who we perceive have a better life than us.  Envy is a battle we all fight, but when we focus our eyes on Jesus, we’ll find peace.

Peace in our heart comes from being content with what we have, no matter what:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:12-13 NIV)

Contentment can only come when we center our hearts on Jesus. We can find it through the strength Jesus gives us when we follow Him  When we follow Him, we’ll find His peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:6-7 NIV).  Instead of counting the blessings of others, we’ll count our own blessings.  We’ll be grateful for what we do have, instead of what we don’t have.  We’ll have peace that gives life to the body.

Question of the Day:

What have you said, “It must be nice…” about lately?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 2:22-4:22 NIV, John 5:24-47 NIV, Psalm 106:1-12 NIV, Proverbs 14:30-31 NIV

“Hannah did not go. She said to her husband, “After the boy is weaned, I will take him and present him before the Lord, and he will live there always.” (1 Samuel 1:22 NIV)

Hannah, to me, is one of the unsung heroes of the Bible.  She was married to Elkanah, who had two wives.  Peninnah was his other wife, who had many children.  Hannah, on the other hand had none, “the Lord had closed her womb” (1 Samuel 1:5 NIV).   Peninnah lorded it over Hannah’s head that she had children and Hannah could not. For years, Hannah lived in misery:

“This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat.” (1 Samuel 1:7 NIV)

Hannah never gave up.  She didn’t lose faith in God, even though she was unable to have children.  Instead, she persevered and pleaded her case before God:

“In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly.  And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.” (1 Samuel 1:10-11 NIV)

Hannah gave her greatest desire to God.

God granted Hannah’s request.  She named her son Samuel “Because I asked the Lord for him” (1 Samuel 1:20 NIV).  And when he was weaned, she left him with Eli at the temple, living up to her promise to the Lord.  God answered Hannah’s prayer, and she honored her commitment.  She would see her firstborn once a year when they went to the temple to worship.  She would lovingly make him a new outfit to take with her.  Hannah’s prayer is a beautiful tribute to what the Lord did for her, take a moment and read it here.  After she gave birth to Samuel, she had three more sons and two daughters.  God blessed her abundantly for her obedience.

Giving up what we most desire to God is a difficult thing, but the rewards are beyond measure.  When we release to God whatever our heart’s desires are, He does miraculous things.  Samuel has 2 books named after him in the Old Testament.  He records the story of David and Goliath as well as many others.  Samuel’s name has not been forgotten in thousands of years because Hannah gave to the Lord what she wanted most.

Hannah trusted God with her heart’s desire and He blessed her abundantly.  He’ll do the same for you if you will trust Him.  

Question of the Day:

What are you willing to give up for God?

Further Reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-2:21 NIV, John 5:1-23 NIV, Psalm 105:37-45 NIV, Proverbs 14:28-29 NIV

“May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” (Ruth 2:12 NIV)

If you want to be richly rewarded, stay the course.  Boaz is speaking to Ruth in today’s verse.  He has noticed her working in his fields.  Day after day, he watched her “glean behind the harvesters” (Ruth 2:3 NIV).  Gleaning is picking up the fallen grain that the harvesters leave behind.  This practice comes from the Levitical law:

“‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the Lord your God.” (Leviticus 19:9-10 NIV).

Gleaning is not easy work.  It’s scrounging in the hot sun for leftovers the harvesters have missed.  Boaz was a generous man, when he saw how hard Ruth was working, he ordered his harvesters to let her gather among the sheaves (Ruth 2:15 NIV).  Ruth had stayed the course, day after day.  As a result, Boaz noticed her and rewarded her work.  If you want to be richly rewarded, stay the course.

If you want to be richly rewarded, stay the course.

Boaz was a God fearing man, who rewarded Ruth out of his humanness.  God’s rewards are far greater than a lessened work load.  He, like Boaz, bases it on what we have done:

“God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life.  But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.” (Romans 2:6-8 NIV)

God isn’t expecting us to be perfect, He knows we’re not.  He does expect us to try.  He expects us to be like Ruth.  Each day, we do what we know to do. We center our thoughts on God by spending time with Him.  We do our best to be obedient to His desires.  We try to forgive, we try to pray for our enemies, we try to love our neighbor.  Some days, we may fail, but as long as we keep trying, that’s what matters.

God will bless you richly if you stay the course.  On those days where you don’t feel His presence, or are unsure of what to do, do what you know to do.  Trust that He is present even if you can’t feel Him.  Take the next right step. Stay the course and God will reward your efforts.

Question of the Day:

What do you need to do to stay the course today?

Further Reading: Ruth 2:1-4:22 NIV, John 4:43-54 NIV, Psalm 105:16-36 NIV, Proverbs 14:26-27 NIV