Honest Reflections

“Above all, keep your love for one another at full strength, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 CSB

My relationship goal is a marriage goal.  As you know, I did not get married until I was 42 years old. My goals were still marital goals before I was married, I just called them relationship goals.  What I learned in all of those years of singleness, learning to be a good friend is key to having a great marriage. God did not waste those years I worked on having better relationships.  I call it marriage goal now, but I used to call it relationship goal.

For my husband and I, we are constantly working on our marriage.  Up until this year, we read a couple’s devotion together each day.  What this looked like in our marriage: I would read him whatever the days devotional was and we would talk about it.  Last year we decided to read through the Bible together in a year. We found a year long plan we both agreed on, and then we read it individually.  We used YouVersion. My favorite part was the notes we could send each other at the end of the day’s reading. I used it as an opportunity to pray for my husband specifically, telling him what I was praying for that day.  You can do the same thing with a friend, or a bunch of friends. YouVersion allows you to have multiple people reading the same plan together.

We haven’t decided what our goal will be for next year.  We decide it together, I’m writing this at the beginning of December, we’ll be talking about it in the month ahead.  What I found with my relationship goals when I was single, they often had to do with an area of my life I wasn’t giving to God.  My relationship goal often included a command from God that I needed to implement in my life. One year I worked on trusting, one year I worked on not assuming, one year I worked on boundaries.  All of these things helped prepare me for the marriage I have today. Practicing healthy relationship skills in all of my relationships have helped me develop a healthy marital relationship.

One relationship we can all be working on together is our relationship with God.  When I worked on trust, I worked first on trusting God and believing what He says in Proverbs.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6 NIV).  When I worked on not assuming, Isaiah helped me: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.” (55:8 NIV).  And when I worked on boundaries, I followed Jesus’s example. Here is a great article detailing how Jesus set boundaries from Soul Shepherding.  All of these goals helped me to develop healthy relationships, and continues to help me.

Today I’m going to find rest in relationship goals.  How can you find rest today?

“Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him.”  James 1:5 CSB

In my opinion, the first important goal to set for the new year is your spiritual goal.  I say this because in my life, I prioritize who comes first. My husband knows, God comes before him.  After God comes my husband, then family, then others. Those are the main priorities of my life. Therefore, since God is first, defining my spiritual goal comes first.

The first thing I do is pray.  I simply ask God, what do You want me to work on next year?  He knows the areas I need the most work.  Psalm 139:1 NIV says, “You have searched me, Lord, and You know me.”  He knows what He wants to work on in me, I want to let Him.  After I pray, I wait. I have never waited more than a couple of days for my verse to come.  Sometimes it has come immediately. This year, when I asked the Lord what my verse would be for 2020 I knew immediately.  “But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:3b NIV).  This is the verse next year for the group, it came immediately to mind when I asked the question to God.  I’m taking that as His answer.

Once I have the verse, I search for the word within it.  There are not a lot of words in my verse for this year. God has made it very clear to me, it’s love.  These two combined will be my focus for next year. My life motto is “Love God, Love Others.” It’s an abbreviation of my life verses:  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these”  (Mark 12:30-31 NIV). Living these verses are very challenging already. Loving God can be difficult, loving people can be difficult.  God is hopefully going to make me a little better at it next year, than I have been.

That is how I set my spiritual goal, I talk to God.  I go to the source and ask for His direction, then wait to receive it.  As you start thinking about your spiritual goal, talk to God. You don’t have to be in a special place, or set a special mood.  This year, when I asked God for my verse, I was blow drying my hair. God is available all the time, no matter what you are doing.  Seek Him, ask Him, then wait for the answer.

Today I’m finding rest in my spiritual goal.  How can you find rest today?

“Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Prov. 16:3 CSB

We’ve survived the holidays, hopefully we’ve had a day of rest in our created Sabbath.  Now our thoughts are turning to the New Year, and the anticipation for all that we are hoping for in the days ahead. 

Approximately 10 years ago, I changed how I approach the upcoming year. I used to make resolutions, and break them by day three.  Now I make goals, I find a scripture that will be my focus for the year, and within it’s words, I find my one word for the year. Then I write it out and place it somewhere I will see it daily to remind me what I am working on for the year.  I’ve found it is much more effective than making New Year’s Resolutions. Over the last few days of 2019, I’m going to share my process with all of you, and invite you to join me.

I have four categories of goals: Spiritual, Marriage, Financial, Physical.  I write out one goal for each category. My Spiritual one is always whatever my verse and word are for the year.  For instance, this was my verse this year:

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4 NIV.

My word for this year was Perseverance.  My spiritual goal was to persevere this year, which may sound easy, but it was not.  This past year I started working on my Masters. Not only did I have to persevere in my efforts to go back to school, but I had committed to writing daily devotions for this group.  I had no idea on Jan. 1st, 2019 what either of those things meant for my life. Now I do, because I persevered. That perseverance did come with suffering, it did produce perseverance, build my character and give me hope.

My marriage goal was to read through the Bible together with my husband, we have now done that.  My physical goal was to take 2 exercise classes a week. My financial goal was to come in on budget each month.  I did not do 2 exercise classes each week, but I have started walking 5 days a week. I came in on budget almost every month, I missed twice.  I can look back over my goals, my 2019 and quantitatively tell you how I did. We’re going to close out 2019 by setting our goals for 2020.

I’m resting in anticipation today.  How can you find rest today?

“One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” Romans 14:5 CSB

Christmas is over, now what?  The day after Christmas can be a sort of let down. Often times you hear the post-Christmas blues called a “Holiday Hangover.” After all of the hard work, the preparation, the day has come and gone.  We spent so much time planning for the 25th, we forgot there was a Dec. 26th.  Holidays don’t go the way we planned the majority of the time. Not everyone came, so-and-so didn’t like their gift, the turkey was dry, on and on the list can go of all the things that went wrong. For me, working in retail is what led to my exhaustion on Dec. 26th.

The slow build to Christmas would start in September. The pressure from New York, where my corporate offices were, would begin to increase.  As new product hit the floor, we had to gauge it quickly to see if it was selling, then react accordingly to what the numbers were reporting. Starting at Thanksgiving we worked six day weeks, Black Friday was always the worst.  Every day I drove to different malls. Each mall was packed with cranky shoppers. The receiving docks were piled high with stock that needed to be processed and placed. My holidays flew by.  Then on Christmas Day, I went from going 90 miles an hour, to not moving at all. I went from 6 day work weeks to an entire week off. Inevitably, I got sick. By the time Christmas day had come and gone, I had worn myself out physically and mentally.

Many of you probably have similar stories of how the holidays have worn you out. For Moms, my retail nightmare pales in comparison to all they do during the holidays for their friends and families. The holidays are exhausting for all of us.

After 23 years in the business, I learned to plan ahead. I planned a Sabbath for Dec. 26th.  I planned a day where I didn’t get dressed or take a shower. I just vegged on the couch and watched movies, ALL day.  I planned rest into my life by creating an additional Sabbath day.

In this article by Kristie Rohweider, she gives us helpful tips on how to beat the post-holiday hangover.   Number one is to sleep in as long as you like, and when you do get up, don’t get dressed, stay in those jammies.  Drink plenty of water, only leave the couch when necessary, and put the phone on Do Not Disturb. Eat the leftovers, enjoy the cookies and relax.  Create a Sabbath day for yourself to rejuvenate, renew and refresh. If you can’t do it today, plan a day in the near future you can. We all need rest, we all need a Sabbath.

Today I’m going to find rest in a Sabbath day.  How can you find rest today?

There is no devotional I could write today that is better than the words of Luke.  Today, we’re going to read the Christmas story. Take time to let it’s words sink into your heart.  Give thanks to God for what He has done for us by giving us Jesus. Celebrate His birthday today with these words:

The Birth of Jesus

Luke 2:1-21 NIV

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)  And everyone went to their own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,  and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.  But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,

    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,  and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise the child, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he was conceived.

“For a child will be born for us, a son will be given to us, and the government will be on His shoulders. He will be named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. The dominion will be vast, and its prosperity will never end. He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from now on and forever. The zeal of the Lord of Hosts will accomplish this.”  Isaiah 9:6-7 CSB

We are on the eve of Christ’s birthday.  We have focused our attention on Him all year long.  We’ve struggled, we’ve grown, we’ve rejoiced. Now it is time to prepare our hearts for the celebration of His birth.  I wanted to share a candlelight service with all of you to do just that.

Imagine you are in a dimly lit church, the pastor has just finished speaking about the truth of Jesus.  The choir has shuffled quietly back on to the stage. The candles that were handed out when you walked in the door are now ready to be used.  They are slim, white candles with a paper disk surrounding them to protect your hands from dripping wax. Ushers begin to walk down the aisle, lighting the candles of the person on the end of each row.

I love this simple moment of unity as people share their light with the people next to them.  Soon the entire gathering is holding a lit candle and the lights begin to dim. The first few notes of Franz Gruber’s “Silent Night” begin to float through the silence:

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon Virgin, Mother, Mother and Child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

[Verse 2]

Silent night, holy night!

Shepherds quake at the sight

Glories stream from heaven afar

Heavenly hosts sing ‘Alleluia!

Christ the Savior is born

Christ the Savior is born

[Verse 3]

Silent night, holy night!

Son of God, love’s pure light

Radiant beams from Thy holy face

With the dawn of redeeming grace

Jesus Lord, at Thy birth

Jesus Lord, at Thy birth

As the pastor steps quietly to the pulpit, he blesses God’s people for the night ahead.  Candle’s are extinguished and people quietly shuffle out of their seats. Their hearts centered on their Lord.

Today I’m going to find rest in candlelight.  How can you find rest today?

“But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.” Luke 2:19 CSB

This is after Jesus has been born, Mary is watching all of the activity going on around her.  Can you imagine what it must have been like to have this happen to you? To be told you are going to give birth to a son, even though you are a virgin?  Then to travel 90 miles on a donkey to do it?

The route Mary and Joseph took was flat at first, then would have gone over the hills into Jerusalem.  Scholars estimate they traveled 10 miles a day because of her pregnancy. The season would have been winter, this meant days in the 30’s and rain at night.  All while Mary is 9 months pregnant. This is what the woman who gave birth to Jesus had to do the week before His arrival. On top of that, when they reached Bethlehem, no one had any room for them.  Mary had to give birth in a stable.

Mary had a lot to ponder and reflect upon as she sat in that manger that night.

Think about your last week.  What was the biggest trial you had?  How has it affected your week? Where can you see God in it?  Reflect back not only of the past week, but the past year. How has God grown you this year?  What has He done in your life that you know was Him? Begin to treasure all of these things up in your heart, as Mary did after the birth of Jesus.

Jesus changed the course of Mary’s life.  He changes the course of our lives. Just like when He entered the world that night in Bethlehem, when we first believed in Him, our lives changed forever.  And continue to change as we allow Him to continue working in our hearts. I know I am not the person I was 12 months ago. I’ve learned, I’ve grown, I’ve matured in ways I didn’t even know I needed to mature.  And I still have a long way to go. I am still a sinner in need of grace. We are all sinners in need of grace this holiday season.

Today, as you seek a moment of solitude, reframing your mind with intentional gratitude, taking a moment outside to worship Jesus, reflect on all He has done.  Treasure them in your heart. Write them down to remind yourself of what He has done. Then give Him the glory He deserves.

Today I am going to find rest by reflecting.  How can you find rest today?

“After Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of King Herod, wise men from the east arrived in Jerusalem,  saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star at its rising and have come to worship him.” Matthew 2:1-2 CSB

After Jesus was born, the wisemen took a trip to worship Him.  One of my favorite things about Christmas is candlelight church services.  My fondest memories are of singing “Silent Night” with the lights dimmed and the candles burning.  I always try to attend a Christmas Eve service, my time to get out and worship Jesus on the eve of His birth.

If you don’t attend church, this is one time of year you should go.  Every newspaper has lists of services for your area. From contemporary to traditional, there is something for everyone.  This isn’t a time to watch online. This is a time to be with other believers, celebrating the Saviour. Put aside past hurts, don’t let anyone stop you from enjoying the beauty of a candle lit service, a time to sing the songs of Christmas that worship Him.

And, weather permitting, step outside and look to the stars.  Let yourself be swept back in time and join the wisemen on their journey as they follow the star to baby Jesus.  Close your eyes and imagine laying your gifts at the base of the manger, Mary and Joseph watching. Fill your mind with the miracle that has happened, let it’s vastness sink over you as you think of Jesus.

Jesus wasn’t born in a cozy house, with electric heat.  He was born in a barn, surrounded by animals. I have never given birth, but I know many of you have.  Can you imagine giving birth in a barn, without a doctor, just your husband? I am grateful God didn’t call me to that specific purpose.  But He did call Mary to that purpose, she was a woman of great strength who fulfilled it well, even has a teenager.  

As you find a moment of solitude today, beginning to reframe your thoughts with intentional gratitude, do it outside.  Let the weather around you heighten your senses to the birth of Jesus. Let yourself marvel at the wonders of the world He created, and worship Him.

Today I’m going to find rest by going outside.  How can you find rest today?

“She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins.”  Matthew 1:21CSB

Jesus came to save us from our sins, we have something to be intentionally grateful for today.  Gratitude takes mindfulness, it takes intentionality, it is a choice. We can choose to be grateful for what we have or we can choose to focus on what we don’t have, the choice is ours.  

One thing we all have is Jesus.  A way to the Father, a way to connect with Him, grow closer to Him, love Him.  When I think of Jesus, as I’ve gotten to know Jesus through the scriptures, He inspires me.  I want to be like Him. I want to be so full of love and compassion, it overflows from me to everyone around me.  I want to know, when someone comes to me hurting how I can help them heal. I want to love people unconditionally, no matter what their beliefs are, no matter what color their skin is, no matter what.  I want to be more like Jesus ever day that I live, and less like me.

All of us have heard John’s words many times, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV).  Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines world as “The universe; the whole system of created globes or vast bodies of matter.”  In other words, everyone. No one is exempt from God’s love, no matter what our personal opinions are.

I have people in my life that I struggle to love.  I have been known to think, “Are you sure God they are part of the world?”  The answer is always yes. We are all God’s creatures, created by Him for His purposes.  If loving everyone was easy, we would never grow. If you think of love as a muscle, you have to exercise it to grow it.  When we love people who challenge us, we’re working out our love muscle.

Remembering Jesus helps me get started with my work out.  When I remember He came to “save His people from their sins” AND I’m one of those people always helps me be grateful (Matthew 1:21b). I’m grateful He loves me, the huge sinner I am. Some of you know the truth to that statement better than others. We are all sinners, our sins may be different, but we are all sinners.  Only Jesus is perfect. In Him we have something to be intentionally grateful for today. As you seek solitude today, allowing God to reframe your thoughts, be intentionally grateful for what Jesus has done for us.

Today I’m finding rest by being intentionally grateful.  How can you find rest today?

“But after he had considered these things, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 1:20 CSB

Joseph had just found out his fiancee, sweet Mary, was pregnant. He wasn’t pleased.  He was planning on divorcing her until the angel appeared to him. God reframed his thoughts.  At this time of year, we need God to reframe our thoughts as well.

One of my favorite churches, James City Community Church, does dramas to illustrate their sermon points.  One drama had several members on stage; they were juggling plates on sticks.  They started adding more and more plates to the mix until they were unable to juggle any more plates.  All of a sudden, plates started crashing to the floor because they couldn’t maintain it. We all juggle too many plates this time of year.  We have so many plates in the air, we can’t manage them all. Eventually they will start to fall, crashing around us. But not if we allow God to reframe our thoughts this year.

If we are going to show reverence for the reason for the season, we need to reframe our thoughts.  We need to remind ourselves, it really isn’t about Christmas trees, presents and cookies. No, this time of year is about a birthday, Jesus’s birthday.   Christmas cookies don’t have to be baked, each present doesn’t need to be perfect, decorations can go unhung. But if we don’t take time to remember Jesus, we’ve missed the whole point of the season.

My brother’s mother-in-law reframed my thoughts on this years ago.  She was here spending Christmas with the family. Each year they have a birthday party on Christmas.  They buy a birthday cake that says, “Happy Birthday Jesus!” They light candles, and they sing Happy Birthday.  My family had never done anything like this before, I thought it was a brilliant way to remember the reason for the season.

Yesterday, we took a moment and found solitude.  Let’s build on that today. In your moment of solitude, as you settle into the quiet.  Ask God to reframe your thoughts about the holiday ahead. Allow your thoughts to start focusing on Jesus’s birthday.   Think about what you would do to celebrate your best friend’s birthday. How can you celebrate Jesus’s birthday in a special way this year? 

I’m going to find rest today by reframing my thoughts.  How can you find rest today?