Honest Reflections

“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” (Proverbs 24:26 NIV)

Honest answers are the best answers.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines honest:  Upright; just; fair in dealing with others; free from trickiness and fraud; acting and having the disposition to act at all times according to justice or correct moral principles; applied to persons. 

Honesty isn’t easy.

As a dog walker, people trust me.  A few years ago, one of my clients changed their normal time.  Instead of 12:00 p.m. as usual, they asked me to wait until 3:00 p.m.  “No problem,” was my answer.  However, I completely forgot to go.  Typically, my afternoons are my study time for school.  I was working on a project, lost all track of time.  Around 6:00 p.m. that evening, I realized what I had done.   Praying for mercy, I texted my clients and told the truth.  Their response surprised me.  They thanked me for my honesty and forgave me; they said it was hard to find honest people these days.  

Honest people are hard to find.

Being honest is difficult, especially when it comes to ourselves.  The person we tend to lie to most is ourselves.  For me, I don’t even realize the lies I tell myself, but other people do.  People can see the lies we believe better than we can.  Getting honest with ourselves is the first step to honesty with others.

For me to tell my clients the truth, I had to admit my irresponsibility.  Priding myself on my work ethic is something I have always done; when I falter, it’s difficult for me to accept.  But accepting the truth helps us move forward.  Thinking about it now, I remember how difficult it was for me to send the initial text admitting my wrongdoing.  But the freedom in telling the truth is worth the momentary uncomfortableness.  No one is perfect; we can’t expect it out of anyone, including ourselves.

Honesty helps us stay humble.

Telling the truth is humbling.  Admitting to my clients, I had failed humbled me.  And the incident grew my grace muscle.  As others forgave me, they set an example to help me forgive others.  In humility, we serve others best.

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” (Galatians 5:13 NIV)

Honesty allows us to serve others humbly in love.

When someone you love is struggling, and you don’t know what to do, admit it.  Don’t try to have all the answers for them; instead, acknowledge that you don’t.  Ask them how you can best serve them.   Pray specifically for their needs, let God do the heavy lifting

Answer honestly, it’s better than anything else you can do.

Question of the Day:

How honest are you with yourself and others?

Further Reading: Jeremiah 6:16-8:7 NIV, Colossians 2:8-23 NIV, Psalm 78 NIV, Proverbs 24:26 NIV

“My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” (Colossians 2:2-3 NIV)

If you don’t have a goal, you’ll never achieve it.

Paul’s goal in life was to share Jesus.  A long time ago a friend posed the question to me:

 “What do you want people to say about you when you die?” 

My response, after some thought: “She loved the Lord.”  Her question made me realize, I want people to talk about my love of God when I die.  Not only that, I hope and pray, they love Him even more than I do.   If I want it said about me after I’m gone, I have to live it while I’m here on earth. 

Answering that question gave me my life goal.  In order for that description to become a reality, I realized I needed to live a life that reflected God.  The journey began with answering a question.  Diving into my response led me into an adventure I couldn’t imagine.  God’s reality in my life deepens the more I seek Him. My goal resembles Paul’s more as I experience God’s presence in my life.

Find your goal, find your purpose.

Everyone wants to know why they are here on earth.  Helping people find their purpose is something I love to do.  Often, the answer is apparent, but seeing it is the problem.  We all have visions of grandeur, but in reality, our purpose might not bring fame and fortune in this world, but our crowns in heaven are waiting.

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (Matthew 16:27 NIV)

Start by asking the right question: what do you want to be known for after you’re gone?  Thinking about our own death isn’t easy, but will help you find your purpose.  Knowing our days on earth are numbered, helps us not waste them.  For me, the reality of death motivates me to live life to the fullest today.

For instance, each year you have 52 Saturday’s.  Over a lifetime of 80 years, that’s 4160.  On my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I turned 51.  Doing the math, that means I’ve already spent 2,603 of those Saturday’s.  The problem is, I don’t remember most of them.   They slide by so quickly, we don’t even realize we’re spending them, but once gone, they’re gone for good.

Don’t waste the time God has given you.  Ask the question.  Find the answer that leads to your life goal.

Question of the Day:

What do you want people to say about you when you die?

Further Reading: Jeremiah 4:19-6:15 NIV, Colossians 1:18-2:7 NIV, Psalm 77 NIV, Proverbs 24:23-25 NIV

“Does a young woman forget her jewelry, a bride her wedding ornaments? Yet my people have forgotten me, days without number.” (Jeremiah 2:32 NIV)

Women don’t forget their jewelry, men don’t forget their wallets, but we all forget God.

Jeremiah was a young prophet called by God to carry a message of repentance to the people he loved.  His message is timeless because sin never ends.  The idols of Jeremiah’s day, wealth, talent, and position are the same as today.  His book is the longest in the Bible.  According to the New Spirit-Filled Life Bible, Jeremiah understood relationship with God is moral and spiritual.  We are responsible for the sin in our lives.  Bad behavior has consequences.  The new covenant with Jesus is a spiritual bond that forgives our sin, remembering it no longer.  Does God’s forgiveness mean we won’t suffer the consequences of our actions? No.

Alcohol offers an easy analogy.  If you drink too much, it’s a sin.  God’s word tells us moderation is vital.  Overindulging is gluttony, and alcohol has the potential to take the place of God in your life.  When you repent, God forgives.  He loves unconditionally and accepts you with open arms.  But you still have the hangover the next morning.  Our battle with sin becomes a tug-of-war between our fleshly desires and our spiritual ones.

Battling our sinful nature deepens our relationship with God.

One of the best illustrations I’ve heard was in a sermon long ago.  The pastor said a man struggling with alcohol addiction came to see him.  He asked the clergyman, “Why doesn’t God take away my desire to drink alcohol?”  The man said he hadn’t drank in a long time, but each day he battled the desire to succumb to temptation.  With sincerity, the pastor asked, “What kept him from drinking?  ”Simple,” the man said, “every day I ask God to help me not drink.”   Pointing out with love, the pastor said, “Would you pray every day if you didn’t have this battle?”

In other words, in our desperation, we find God.

Jesus spent 40 days and nights in the desert, fasting.  To say He was hungry when the devil tried to convince him to turn stones into bread is an understatement.  Jesus didn’t succumb; instead, He responded:

“It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” (Matthew 4:4 NIV)

Another thing most people won’t forget is their cell phone.  Thanks to Life Church and the Youversion app, that also means you have easy access to God’s word.  In days of old, you had to carry the Bible with you in book format, now it’s pages are available at the touch of a finger.

Access God’s word to fight your battles.  Memorize His promises, so they become something you never forget.

Question of the Day:

What promise of God’s do you need to memorize today?

Further Reading: Jeremiah 2:31-4:18 NIV, Colossians 1:1-17 NIV,  Psalm 76 NIV, Proverbs 24:21-22 NIV

“Therefore, my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord in this way, dear friends!” (Phil. 4:1 NIV)

Stand firm by rejoicing always.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Phil. 4:4 NIV)

Paul’s letter to the Philippians is packed with useful scripture.  In chapter four, Paul is wrapping things up.  He’s giving them his final words of advice as he continues with his ministry.  He starts with rejoicing.  Why:

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Phil. 4:5 NIV) 

Rejoicing shows the Lord is near.

Paul encourages us to rejoice because it shows how close God is.  How do we rejoice when life is closing in on us?  Paul gives us the answer:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7 NIV)

If you memorize one scripture in 2020, I highly recommend this one.  Paul’s instruction gives us the key to finding God’s peace.

Following Jesus is not a formula, but structure helps our conversations with God.  Often, people struggle with praying.  They are unsure of how to talk to God.  The above verses give us a plan to follow.  What this helps us do is focus our thoughts on God.  Worldly problems try to distract us from the One who has all of the answers.  Prayer helps us focus our attention back on God.  Paul gives us a guideline on how to connect with God.

And then he tells us what to think about:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil. 4:8 NIV)

Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive.  

In every situation, find something real and noble.  Look for the things Paul tells us to think about, and you’ll find them.  Sometimes we have to look harder than others.  But if we focus our eyes on Jesus, we’ll see what we’re looking for: hope.

Life’s tragedies are many.  Our hope is in Jesus.  We have to work to stay focused on His promises.  When we apply Paul’s teachings to our lives, we’ll succeed in our mission.

Pray, Praise, Present, Peace.  You’ll stand firm in adversity if you do.

Question of the Day:

How can Paul’s words help you stand firm?

Further Reading: Jeremiah 1:1-2:30 NIV, Philippians 4 NIV, Psalm 75 NIV,  Proverbs 24:17-20 NIV

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV)

Win God’s prize for your race.

Each of us has a path.  God designed us for different purposes, accomplished with unique gifts.  Jesus helps us uncover the gold within each of us.  Embracing who we are in Christ is how we win the prize.

Like egg whites, folded into dough, Jesus folds into us.  Baker’s fold ingredients into the mixture maintaining the original structure while improving it.  Dough becomes lighter and fluffier as the air pockets increase.  In the same way, our lives lighten as we lay our burdens at Jesus feet.  Air moves into our lungs as we inhale His presence into our lives.  Lighter, freer with each layer we fold into Him.  

“And now, with God’s help, I shall become myself.” Soren Kierkegaard

Embracing Jesus helps us embrace ourselves.  As we begin to understand the depth of His love for us, we change.  For me, I stopped fighting and started living.  Instead of trying to change my circumstances, I work on accepting them.  My belief in God’s sovereignty means He knows exactly what is going on in my life; I trust He will use it for good.  Believing that statement lightens my load.  Allowing God to take control means I don’t have too.

God’s sovereignty allows me to accept my imperfections.  My past mistakes help others learn, connect, and grow.  My niece will never do certain things in her life because she knows what happened when I did them.  None of us know who and how we are influencing others with our actions.  When we are honest about our imperfections, it helps others accept theirs. 

God’s sovereignty is wrapped in unconditional love.  Knowing God loves me, despite all of my many sins, overwhelms me.  Confessing my sin to others allows me to say, “And yet He still loves me.”  God’s blessings overflow in my life, I’m not worthy of any of them.  Yet He still gives.  He humbles me with gentleness, He nurtures me with care.  As I fold deeper in Him, the more I’m aware of His amazing love.

My birthday weekend was a gift from God.  Plans changed last minute.  Perfect weather, company, and food.  God topped it off with a beautiful outdoor serenade.  When asked if I enjoyed the trip, my answer is simple.  “God is a lover, only a lover plans a trip that intimately.”  Why? The details that made the trip perfect were details only I would love.  

God loves each of us intimately.  He’s polishing our gold.  He’s leading us to the prize.

Question of the Day:

What gold is God polishing in you today?

Further Reading:Isaiah 66 NIV, Philippians 3:4-21 NIV, Psalm 74 NIV, Proverbs 24:15-16p pe NIV

“But as for me, it is good to be near God.  I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;  I will tell of all your deeds.” (Psalm 73:28 NIV)

Get near God.

My favorite analogy is my parents.  Back in their day, cars and trucks had bench seats.  Young couples dating would sit side by side, as close as they could.  Eventually, after establishing themselves as a couple, they move apart.  Mom by her window, Dad by his as he drove.  One day, Mom says, “Why don’t you put your arm around me like you did when we were dating?”  Dad’s response, “I’m not the one who moved.”  He was still sitting in the driver’s seat; she was the one who scooched over into the passenger seat.

God’s still driving.

God hasn’t moved.  If you’re feeling disconnected to Him, check your position.  Have you moved away from God as you become more familiar with Him?  Is life going well right now, so you don’t feel the desperate need to reach out to Him like you once did?  Keeping close to God means we have to sit next to Him.

When Jesus taught, He walked in front, His students followed.  Remember, during that period, they wore sandals, walking on dusty roads.   Following closely means getting Jesus’s dust on you.  We have to pursue Jesus.  He remains the same; we’re the ones who float in and out.  To encounter His dust, we have to get close.

Even today, when something good happens, it’s easy to forget God’s part in it.  For me, relationships help me stay close to God.  In the flesh, my response isn’t what it is when I bring God into the equation.  When I seek His will before my own, life is better. Unfortunately, sometimes I prefer the passenger seat instead of next to Him.  And sometimes, I take the wheel and kick Him out of the car completely.

Your relationship with God is dependent on you.  How much time you spend chasing Him will determine its depth.  

We Are Marshall is a movie.  The story is about the college’s football team that perishes in an airplane crash.  Recruiting a new coach, the town and school rebuild after the tragedy.  Trying to gain special permission to have a team, the coach challenges the administration when told they’ve received no response from football’s governing body. Jack Lengyel, the coach, poses this question to University President Dedmon:  “Now, I am going to bet… that you didn’t propose over the phone.”  In other words, you need to go in person and talk to the powers that be.  The president followed Jack’s advice; he went in person, the season saved.

We can’t phone in a relationship with God.  Instead, we have to get close, letting His dust cover us as we draw near.

Question of the Day:

Have you moved away from God today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 62:6-65:25 NIV, Philippians 2:19-3:3 NIV, Psalm 73 NIV, Proverbs 24:13-14 NIV

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3-4 NIV)

Humility is the absence of pride.

For me, humility is remembering Christ died for everyone.  More importantly, that one person you can’t stand, He died for them too.  When we view the world through the lens of Jesus, it changes how we react to people.  Jesus’ sacrificial death on the cross was to pay for the sins of the world.  Those sins include mine and yours.  Even the tiniest of lies for the best of reasons is sin, according to God’s word.  None of us are above the law, only Jesus. 

Value others through Jesus’ eyes.

Pray this simple prayer:  “Jesus, let me see them as You see them.”  Start picturing what you think Jesus would do.  My favorite is the woman caught in adultery, dragged naked before Jesus.  Gently, Jesus kneels to the ground and starts writing.  One by one, the crowd disburses until all are gone.  When He stands, He forgives her and tells her to sin no more (John 8:1-11 NIV).  The reason I love this story, I imagine Jesus writing the sins of those around Him in the dirt, ones I’m sure I’ve committed.  That thought humbles me as it identifies my pride.

Pride and humility can’t coexist.  No matter who you are, the ego is something we all battle.  Arrogance isn’t only for the wealthy.  Human condition means we naturally value ourselves over others.  When offended, my first reaction isn’t love; I want them to pay for the hurt.  But that’s not what Jesus wants for me.  He wants me to follow His actions: 

“When He was accused by the chief priests and the elders, He gave no answer.”  (Matthew 27:12 NIV)

When falsely accused, Jesus said nothing.  He’s teaching me to do the same.  Most people don’t intend to cause us harm.  Instead, they are making the best decisions they can in their circumstances.  We never know what is going on in someone else’s world, but God does.  That’s why praying will reveal answers.  God knows what is best for each one of us.  

In college, my calculus professor taught me a lesson I haven’t forgotten.  I was trying to talk my way into a passing grade.  His response still rings in my head: “Sometimes you need a pat on the back, sometimes a kick in the butt.  You need a kick in the butt.”  Yep, I sure did.  Failing his class was the kick in the butt I needed to turn my life around.

Value others through Jesus’ eyes.  Start by praying for them.  He’ll show you the rest.

Question of the Day:

Who can you value in prayer today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 60:1-62:5 NIV, Philippians 1:27-2:18 NIV, Psalm 72 NIV, Proverbs 24:11-12 NIV

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” (Philippians 1:3 NIV)

As you grow older, you experience more loss.  Memories become all you have left of people you love.  Physical mementos are reminders of times past.  Praising God for shared moments is natural.   If we didn’t love deeply, we wouldn’t grieve deeply.

“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.  John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

Early in my dating relationship with my husband, he won another piece of my heart with these words: “You’re worth the risk.”  His heart knew the pain I could cause him.  He was willing to take the chance.   He understood that when we invest our lives in someone else’s, the potential for pain increases. But the light they shine into your life, no matter how briefly, is better than not seeing it at all.

Let the light shine.

Don’t avoid relationships to avoid pain.  As Christ-followers, we are meant to live in community with others:

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 NIV)

Once we experience a heartbreaking loss, self-protection kicks in by kicking people out.  Hurting people hurt others; we’re all suffering in some way.  Instinctively, we think if we stay away from people, we can avoid pain.  That thought is a lie.  People help us heal as we allow them to love us in our pain.  Repairing our brokenness requires opening ourselves up to the light of others.

“In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.” (John 1:4 NIV)

Jesus is the light that shines through people.  Each one is shining differently.  As we journey through life, the amount of time differs with each person.  Some will travel your entire life with you, others a brief moment.  No matter how large the flame, it travels with you forever.  No two torches burn identically; every memory unique.

We can’t avoid the pain of loss, but we can embrace the joy of life.  Live in the moment and cherish the people God gives you.  Work to create memories that will last a lifetime.

For my 51st birthday, we created a memory.  We rode our bikes 52 miles, splitting it between two days.  One mile for each year, one for good measure.  Friends went with us; we spent the night in Richmond.  Everything about those 24 hours is memorable, from the beautiful scenery and good conversations to Poe’s Pub and Church Hill St.  All of us carry those moments with us the rest of our lives, no matter where we go.

Create moments in life not quickly forgotten.  No one knows the length of life’s journey. Thank God for the memories you have, and those yet to come.

Question of the Day:

How can you create a memorable moment today?

Further Reading: Isaiah 57:15-59:21NIV, Philippians 1:1-26 NIV, Psalm 71 NIV, Proverbs 24:9-10 NIV

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.” (Ephesians 6:18 NIV)

Prayer is your most potent weapon.

Reaching out to the Creator in conversation is more potent than any human-made tool.  If we connected with God as much as we connect with our cell phones, can you imagine the impact on this world?  What if, every time you picked up your phone, you used it as a reminder to pray?  Whoever you’re connecting with through the cell, pray for them.  Our phones are an extension of who we are today.  If we use them as a reminder to pray, God becomes part of us as well.

Prayer pinpoints the battle.

When we take time to pray first, God centers our minds.  Prayer reminds us our battle is not against flesh and blood, but the spiritual forces of evil (Ephesians 6:12 NIV). Our eyes look past what we can see for what is unseen.  Instead of letting anger wedge itself into our relationships, we respond with grace.  We build instead of destroy when we use prayer as our weapon.

God’s armor clothes us as we look to Him for strength:

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground…Stand firm…with the belt of truth…the breastplate of righteousness…the gospel of peace…take up the shield of faith…the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:13-17 NIV)

Wars fought with physical weapons have no winners.  Each side loses brave warriors as they battle to “victory.”  Wars end because resources to fight run out, not because they give up. If someone is committed enough to give their life for a cause, they don’t quit easily.  Jesus is the Master of living up to His commitments.

“…but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24 NIV)

Jesus is the friend who sticks closer than anyone.  He died for you because He loves you.  When we access the power of the Holy Spirit, we do it through our relationship with Him:

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—” (John 15:16 NIV) 

God has given us His Spirit to guide and direct us.  When we pray, His Spirit helps us communicate.  Words aren’t necessary; God understands our groanings.  As we unburden ourselves to Him, His Spirit renews within us.

Prayer is the weapon to choose first in today’s battle.  Whatever the mountain is, start the climb with God.  Let Him lead you to victory.

Question of the Day:

Have you used prayer in your battle?

Further Reading: Isaiah 54:1-57:14 NIV, Ephesians 6 NIV, Psalm 70 NIV, Proverbs 24:8 NIV

“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.” (Ephesians 5:6 NIV)

Empty words are rampant in the world.  News media are biased; the truth is hard to find. How are we to know what are empty words and what isn’t?  God’s word.

Applying God’s word to your life illuminates truth.  My most potent example: saying no to premarital sex; when I did, the truth revealed he was only interested in sex.  If you are female and want to find out the character of the man you’re dating, don’t sleep with him.  The truth shows quickly. A man who respects your boundaries is worthy of investing your heart. One who pressures you is thinking of himself more than he is you.  Empty words revealed.

Focus on known truth.

To begin to identify the empty words in your life, focus on what you know is true.  For me, truth starts with Jesus. The reality of His ministry is my reality.  His death and resurrection enables me to have life to the fullest.  As I seek Him through God’s word, applying His teachings to life situations, my faith deepens.  Jesus becomes more and more truth to me the harder I chase after Him.  As I do, He reveals what words are empty.

Scripture’s beauty is its applicability.

For instance, before cell phones, my high tech landline was programmable. As a way to memorize scripture, I recorded this verse as my “Wake-up Call” each morning:

“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24 NIV)

When I answered the phone each morning, my recorded voice read this passage.  During that time, I found life hard to “rejoice and be glad in it.” Hearing this reminder changed my outlook. Positive words filled my mind first thing, altering my mindset.  As each day passed, the scripture became more ingrained in my mind, changing my world view.  My lens to the world became God’s word.

Years later, the same verse still applies.  Truth is found in the passage:  God created today, just like He created that day long ago.  God’s word isn’t empty.  Filled with wisdom and knowledge, they reveal the empty words of the world around us.  Now, the scripture means so much more to me than it did then.  When I rejoice, it is more heartfelt than ever, my gladness overwhelming. 

Journeying with God daily deepens the meaning of His word. Applying His wisdom to your life reveals the truth.  Empty words become easy to spot.

Question of the Day:

What empty words have God’s word revealed in your life?

Further Reading: Isaiah 51-53 NIV, Ephesians 5:1-33 NIV, Psalm 69:19-36 NIV, Proverbs 24:7 NIV