Honest Reflections

4 minute read

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14 NIV)

Peaceful living takes work.

Applying God’s principles to our relationships is how we achieve harmony with others. God begins by searching our hearts for iniquities.  When He reveals to us areas where we have wronged someone, he expects us to admit it.  Humbling ourselves restores relationships; admitting faults paves the way for restoration.  We can’t control other people’s reactions, but we can control ours.  Allowing people to live their lives the way they choose, accepting them for who they are, paves the way for peace.  

All we can do is what we can do.

When facing a challenging situation, do what you know to do.  If you’ve wronged someone, apologize.  Pay your debts.  Love your enemies.  Forgive those who offend you.  Take responsibility for your actions because that is all you can honestly do.  We can’t force people to respond the way we want them too.  What we can do is apply the golden rule to all situations:

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 ESV)

Treating others like you want treated causes growth.  When someone isn’t reciprocating your kindness, ask yourself why?  Instead of looking at the situation from your side, try to look at it from theirs.  What actions have you done which might not promote peace?  Was your tone offensive?  Were your motivations indeed what was best for the person?  Maybe your body language spoke more than your words?

People reflect what they see in you.

For example, if you walk into an elevator and look up, everyone else looks up.  When someone starts to yawn, others begin yawning.  If you’re at a performance and one person starts clapping, everyone starts clapping.  We feed off of what other people do.  People respond to us by how we treat them.

Not everything is your fault.  Some people have personal issues that steal the ability for them to receive love.  In those situations, pray for God to heal their hearts to receive the love He has for them.  Look for opportunities to plant seeds of love in their lives, pray God causes them to grow.

Each of us has a limited amount of days on earth.  None of us knows the extent of the time allotted.  Living at peace with others is a daily pursuit because today is all we have.  Each day, strive to live in harmony with those God places in your life.

Peace comes through Jesus.  Seek Him today. He’ll show you how to have peace.

Question of the Day:

Who do you need to talk to Jesus about today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 31:1-32:32 NIV, Hebrews 12:14-29 NIV,  Psalm 113-114:8 NIV,

Proverbs 27:18-20 NIV

4 minute read

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)

People sharpen people.

Whatever relationship is the most confrontational is the one doing the most sharpening.  Jesus tells us:

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them…But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” (Luke 6:32-36 NIV)

We all have that one person who rubs us the wrong way.  Every word that comes out of their mouth is annoying.  Just the sound of their voice makes your skin cringe. Typically the person is a family member. Whoever that person is, loving them will sharpen you the most.  Thank God, loving from a distance is still loving.  

Love is the best sharpener.

When we truly try to love others well, we become sharper.  God knows we don’t arrive at a point in life where loving others becomes easy.   Each day we choose first to love God, then apply the love we receive from Him to others; we grow.

Right now, God’s sharpening me with a new challenge: not taking offense.  He is revealing to me how easily I’m offended.  I’m learning I put expectations on people they never agreed to; therefore, I am disappointed.  He’s showing me examples of how to respond in offensive situations. Daily, He renews my spirit and gently prompts me when offense begins to rear its ugly head.

Prayer helps love.

For love to sharpen us, we must pray.  Lifting up the relationships which challenge us most will open the door for God’s love to pour into it.  As you pray, God doesn’t change the person; He changes you.  He softens your heart towards them in ways you never imagined.  God reveals truth to us when we pray, usually about ourselves.

You can love anyone with God.  Sometimes, the best way to love them is from a distance, with prayer.  Unhealthy people who don’t understand boundaries must have boundaries set for them.  To put guardrails in place, you must know your limits. If you aren’t healthy yourself, you can’t help others get healthy.  We all have areas in our lives where we aren’t well; all of us have spaces that need sharpened.  Only with people will we grow.

God is always sharpening us.  As we journey forward with Him, He brings people into our lives who will teach us.  As one friend said at lunch the other day, “I can learn something from everyone I meet.”  We all can.  

Love God, love His people.  Watch Him sharpen you through them.

Question of the Day:

How has God sharpened you lately?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 29-30 NIV, Hebrews 11:32-12:13 NIV, Psalm 112:1-10 NIV, Proverbs 27:17 NIV

4 minute read

“A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.” (Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV)

Wives determine whether they are quarrelsome or not.

Full confession, I’m a quarrelsome wife at times.  My husband gets tired of me talking about taking better care of his body.   When I bring up the laundry or dishes, he cringes.  However, my goal is not to quarrel.  How I combat the urge to drip rain on my husband’s day is through gratitude.  When I get irritated yet again for the half-drunk soda can left on the table, I thank God I have someone who irritates me.  I’m thankful for the work I know he did while he sat there and drank it, work that supports me.  When I shift my thoughts, my irritation gives way to gratitude.  Every time I get to pick up after my husband, I try to use it as an opportunity to thank God for him.  No, I do not always succeed.  But I do try.

Quarreling ends with acceptance.

Accepting people’s unconscious behaviors isn’t losing.  One story that helps me keep perspective is about kitchen doors.  A couple went to therapy because they were constantly arguing.  When the therapist asked what they argued about, they said the kitchen cabinets.  The husband always left the cabinet doors open, which irritated the wife, then causing an argument. Of course, the husband doesn’t realize he does this, so it’s difficult for him to correct.  What the therapist challenged the wife to do is simply close the doors and not say anything. One simple acceptance, her husband was always going to leave cabinet doors open, she would always have to close them, stopped the quarreling.  Harmony achieved through acceptance.

Another way to explain acceptance is from coaching.  One of the first things I learned was how to analyze someone’s stroke.  How people hit a forehand varies widely, even though the technique is fairly simple.  A rule of thumb I learned working with adults is that if they aren’t doing anything that harms their bodies, don’t mess with it.  In other words, as long as the annoying behavior isn’t hurting anyone, just accept it.  Ron leaving half-drunk cans sitting around doesn’t hurt me to recycle it.  The man pays the mortgage; I can throw away a can for him.  Creating a home he wants to come home to isn’t done with unnecessary quarreling.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” (Proverbs 31:10-11 NIV)

The Proverbs 31 woman is hard to find.  She chooses her battles wisely.  Her home isn’t one of quarreling.

Question of the Day:

How can you quit quarreling with acceptance today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 27:1-28:26 NIV, Hebrews 11:17-31 NIV, Psalm 111:1-10 NIV, Proverbs 27:15-16 NIV

4 minute read

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Faith believes what you can’t see.

Faith is something we all have; we just don’t realize it.  Making plans for the future is having faith for tomorrow.  Sitting in a chair means trusting it will hold you.  Dropping a penny off a building is believing in unseen gravity.  Pressing the gas peddle relies on an invisible process.  Praying to God requires confidence Someone is listening.  Even atheists have faith; not believing is still a belief.  

Intangible is tangible.

God’s supernatural presence becomes tangible through His children.  People are what make God physical.  Church communities shine in times of crisis.  When COVID hit, churches all over the country rose to the occasion.  Food banks popped up overnight.  Websites people could use to connect to others became a reality.  Meal trains sent dinners to sick families; prayer chains lifted the world in prayer; neighbors loved neighbors.  For me, a women’s Bible study I did through zoom changed my life and deepened the physical relationships I have.  God becomes tangible through His people.

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.” (Isaiah 52:7 ESV)

Good news isn’t always words.  Sometimes, the best information a person receives is a hug.  A few weeks ago, when I was grieving my mother, God’s tangibility was my husband’s arms.  He held me as I cried, not saying a word.  Feeding the homeless, caring for the sick, encouraging the discouraged are all ways God works through His children.  Faith believes in the unseen, which then becomes seen.

“Hall of Faith” is the nickname for Hebrews chapter 11.  As you read through the verses, God reminds you of people who had faith.  Abraham’s faith leads him to foreign lands and an altar with his son on it.  Noah’s faith made him build a boat, a 120-year project.  During that period, God gave people time to repent, yet none did.  Only Noah had faith in God; he made the Hall of Faith.  The promises made through them weren’t for them:

“All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.” (Hebrews 11:13 NIV) 

When we take faith steps, doing what we believe God wants us to do, we may not see the results.  Random acts of kindness can have lasting ripple effects we’ll never know.  Seeing isn’t necessary for believing.  Not seeing and believing, that’s the blessing.

Question of the Day:

How has faith changed your life?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 24-26NIV, Hebrews 11:1-16 NIV, Psalm 110:1-7 NIV, Proverbs 27:14 NIV

4 minute read

 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,” (Hebrews 10:24 NIV)

Sometimes, spurring on is letting go.

No one knows the challenge of spurring on better than a mother.   When your ten-year-old leaves for a week of summer fun, Mom is the one who struggles most.  The same with college or the military, but magnified.  Letting this child, who grew in their body go, I can’t imagine how hard that is to do.  But the only way to succeed is to let them go.

For me, I experience this in coaching.  Eventually, the pupil outpaces the teacher.  When that happens, they need to move on to someone else, a coach who can help them learn more.  But letting them go is hard.  What helps me make the right decision, I want what is best for my students; even if the best isn’t me.  

Spurring others on requires sacrifice.

When you put someone else’s needs before your needs, it is a sacrifice.  Objectively looking at a situation, seeking God’s guidance, and doing what is best requires work.  When one of my favorite students told me last week he’s going to start classes with another coach; it hurt for a moment.  But I know he is making the right decision, I support him fully.  Just like a mother knows she only has her children in her home for a little while, coaching is the same.  Years slip by quickly, making the most of the time we have is critical, no matter who we’re spurring on.

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had.” (Romans 15:5 NIV)

Jesus set the ultimate example of putting others first.  He sacrificed for all, putting all of us before His needs.  When we don’t follow His example, we hurt ourselves and others.

Years ago, I worked with an Area Manager in retail that was phenomenal.  He covered his department well; his sales were on point; he was a natural.  When he applied for a new position, one that would promote him, he didn’t receive it.  His direct supervisor blocked the advancement because she didn’t want him to leave her store.  Do you know what happened?  He quit, realizing his boss wasn’t willing to help him succeed. She gave him no choice but to leave.  Both suffered because she wouldn’t do what was best for her employee.

Spurring on takes self-sacrifice, but in the end, everyone wins.  Letting go isn’t an ending but a beginning.  A new chapter only starts when the last one ends.

Spur on others by letting them go.  Give them into God’s hand; watch what He does.

Question of the Day:

Who do you need to let go of today?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 23 NIV, Hebrews 10:18-39 NIV, Psalm 109 NIV, Proverbs 27:13 NIV

4 minute read

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” (Proverbs 27:12 NIV)

Whether you are prudent or simple is defined by your reaction to danger.

Since we live on the east coast, we experience hurricanes. Intense storms that move slowly get a lot of press.  Typically a week out from landfall, the news coverage begins.  Opinions based on scientific models trying to predict the storm’s course are rampant.  People start boarding up their homes and evacuating to safer areas.  But some people decide to stay behind.  Various reasons cause people not to evacuate.  Even knowing staying may mean death, they choose to stay. A majority of people would call not leaving simple, but not all.  Deciding to ride out a hurricane isn’t typically a prudent decision.

Calculate the cost.

When facing danger, calculate the cost.  Hurricanes mean you can quickly lose everything, including your life.  Material things are replaceable; human life is not.  Each person must determine the price they are willing to pay.  For Christ-followers, death is but the next phase of life.  Jesus’s resurrection gives us eternal life.  What appears as a danger to some is not to others.   Paul tells us to die is gain:

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21 NIV)

Whatever danger you face, Christ is with you.  He is always with you; He will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5 NIV).  Following Him closely means He’ll let you know when to take cover.  He’ll also let you know when to stay.  If unsure of what you should do, just ask Him.  A simple prayer I pray: “God open the doors you want me to go through, close the ones you don’t.” 

God’s direction keeps you out of danger.

Danger for me lately is keeping up.  I feel overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do.  New project ideas are rampant in my head; I’m trying to finish my last class before I graduate and, of course, working.  But then God intervenes.  As a tennis teacher, rainy days mean unexpected days off.  This past week, God gave me two unanticipated free nights because of the weather.  Then, our weekend plans went awry, canceling as well.  I went from trying to find time to get it all done to God, giving me exactly the time I need to do what I need to do.  God protects us from trouble:

“You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble;” (Psalm 32:7 NIV)

Walking with God mean’s safety from the storm.  Hurricane’s will still rage, but in Him, we find strength.  Whether we evacuate or stay, we are secure in Him.

When in danger, seek God.

Question of the Day:

What danger has God saved you from lately?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 21:1-22:31NIV, Hebrews 10:1-17 NIV, Psalm 108 NIV, Proverbs 27:12 NIV

4 minute read

“For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.” (Hebrews 9:15 NIV)

Jesus mediates our eternal inheritance.

Raised in church, I did not truly understand why Jesus died on the cross until I was an adult.  The more I learn about Jewish culture, the more I understand the need for Jesus.  Jewish law contains 613 commandments.  No human on earth could keep all of them; each has consequences.  All of the Old Testament’s animal sacrifices are to atone for the sins that result from breaking the laws.  Jesus, who is Jewish, is the only one who has and ever will fulfill all of the rules.  His innocence covers our guilt.  He took the penalty for what we deserve.  You need Jesus because He’s the only one who can save you.

Jesus’s salvation gives eternal life.

The eternal life Jesus offers is freedom from our sins.  He allows us to reset our lives, let go of our sins, and start fresh.  When our computers start acting up, we all know what to do; turn it off and back on—disconnecting the electricity from the laptop forces it to reset itself.  When we turn the device back on, whatever problem we were having is gone.  Life resumes with a fresh start.  Each morning is our reboot with God:

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 NIV)

Problems don’t disappear overnight; that’s not what I’m saying.  However, our attitude towards them can and does change as we seek Jesus.

Shining Jesus light into our lives illuminates the dark areas of our hearts.  He reveals the places where jealousy, anger, hatred, and other negative emotions live.  When our sin is exposed, Jesus covers it with love.  His actions on the cross takes our sin away.  He replaces the negative with the positive:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)

As we begin our day with Him, He refreshes our soul.  The mistakes of yesterday become today’s opportunity to share Christ.  Instead of looking at life through our limited view, we look through the eyes of Jesus.  When we do, we see the hurt in people’s lives.  We begin to understand, everyone is struggling, in need of Jesus’s unconditional love.  However, we can’t force people to accept the gift, but hope and pray they one day will.

Question of the Day:

Did you reboot with Jesus today?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 20 NIV, Hebrews 9:11-28 NIV, Psalm 107 NIV, Proverbs 27:11 NIV

4 minute read

“He caused all who held them captive to show them mercy.” (Psalm 106:46 NIV)

Mercy starts with God.

Captivity to sin is a daily struggle.  Our battles look different from the Israelites, but they still exist.  Worldly captives include unhealthy relationships, monetary debt, uncontrolled lifestyles which lead to physical ailments. Tendrils of sin weave in and out of our lives, ensnaring us in their trap.  Only through God’s promises can we find freedom, praise leads the way.

Worship willfully.

Each morning, start with worship.  When we begin our conversation with God using praise, we’re acknowledging our limitations.  Thanking Him for getting you out of bed recognizes He is the one who gives life, and takes it away.  Even Job, in his darkest hour after losing everything, understood God’s sovereignty:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;  may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21 NIV)

Understanding God’s ways is something no human can do.  The quest to try and accomplish this feat is never ending by people.  Their efforts are futile.  No one knows why God does what He does:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,  neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV)

The grace God extends to me always humbles.  As I think of the mercy people have shown me in my life, I’m in awe.  My mother when she paid off my car in college.  Four brother’s, who have helped me countless times in my life get back on track.  Friends who have forgiven me when I have wronged them some way.  All are gifts from God worthy of praise.  All are merciful moments that He orchestrated.  

God gives mercy through people.  His grace becomes reality when others forgive us.  Learning to accept this gift is challenging.  Each of us knows our dark secrets.  If we were to have an honest conversation, we could tell the reasons we don’t think we deserve God’s grace.  But here’s the truth, God knows everything about you and loves you.  Every mistake you made He knows.  You’re not hiding anything from Him, don’t waste time trying.  Instead, praise Him for the gift.  Then share what He has done for you with others. 

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—” (Ephesians 2:8 NIV)

Start with praise.  Lay your sins at the His feet.  Receive His mercy. Then share His gift with others.

Question of the Day:

Who can you give the gift of mercy to today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 18:1-19:14 NIV, Hebrews 9:1-10 NIV, Psalm 106:32-48 NIV, Proverbs 27:10 NIV

4 minute read

“But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his plan to unfold.” (Psalm 106:13 NIV)

We forget God’s works too quickly.

We wouldn’t worry if we had a better memory.  Every time a crisis arises, instead of panicking, we would have faith.  Recalling what God did in the past gives us hope for the future.  Instead of trying to handle the situation in our power, we’d wait for God’s plan.  Remembering is essential in the life of a Christ-Follower.

“Remember His covenant forever, the word which He commanded to a thousand generations.” (Psalm 105:8 NIV)

Not only do we forget what God did for us, we forget what He did for others.  We forget He parted the Red Sea for Moses (Exodus 14:21-31 NIV).  Or that the walls of Jericho tumbled for Joshua (Joshua 6:1-27 NIV).  God’s provision for Ruth through Boaz, Esther’s position that saved the Jews, all forgotten quickly (Ruth 1-4 NIV, Esther 4:14 NIV).  Even having written accounts of God’s goodness penned by different authors over centuries, doesn’t help us recollect all He has done.

Daily discipline helps remember.

Each morning when you open God’s word, it’s a reminder of His power.  Through the pages of the Bible, story after story affirms God’s sovereignty.  His love is apparent as He patiently forgives time, and again the Israelites follies.  Jesus’s entrance into the world ushered in a revolutionary way of life none can deny.  Resurrection gives way to eternal life for all who believe in its power.  But if we don’t open the book, we forget the power found in it.

When Joshua and the Israelites passed through the Jordan river, God told them to set up 12 stones to remember the event (Joshua 4 NIV).  Joshua told the Israelites when people ask them what the stones mean, tell them how God stopped the flow of the Jordan river for the Ark of the Covenant to pass.  The visual reminder not only helped the Israelites remember but also was an opportunity to share God’s goodness with others. Making memory markers for your life helps you not only remember but also talk about God.

“Looking for Lovely” by Annie F. Downs is a Bible study I did years ago.  The premise of the book is to save momentos from God moments in your life.  When I did the study, I created a “Looking for Lovely” mason jar, pictured here.  Inside the wide-mouthed jar are a variety of things that remind me of moments with God.  One is a score card from a special round of golf.  A napkin from a momentous wedding, and party favor from a wonderful birthday celebration.  All reminders of ways God moves in my life.  Whenever I need reminding of God’s goodness, I look in the jar.

Find a way to remember what God does for you. Grow closer to Him as you recall His glorious ways.

Question of the Day:

How are you remembering what God has done for you in your life?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 16:42-17:24 NIV, Hebrews 8:1-13 NIV, Psalm 106:13-31 NIV, Proverbs 27:7-9 NIV

4 minute read

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” (Proverbs 27:5 NIV)

What you don’t say, people don’t know.

When people see you going down the wrong path, those that love you will try to stop you.  Just like a mother protects her toddler from toppling, real friends do the same for us.  Last year, when I was mad at my husband, I said things I shouldn’t.  My sister-in-law, who heard me say them, corrected my behavior.  In no uncertain terms, she told me no matter how mad I get at my husband; I cannot talk to him the way I had that night.  She was right; she’s a true friend.  Open rebuke is better “than approval that’s never expressed” (Proverbs 27:5 MSG).

People have blind spots.  Every single one of us does things we are unaware we do.  To become aware of our poor behavior, we need someone to tell us.  Marriage quickly identifies blind spots in a person’s life.  For instance, I tend to over-schedule myself and have a hard time relaxing.  My husband helps me learn to relax because he made me aware of my issue.  In love, he points out the areas I need to refine.  Because of his insight, I’m a better person.  Feedback is critical to growth.

Consider the Source.

Not all feedback is positive.  When someone is “rebuking” you for something in your life, consider the source.  Many things motivate someone to offer an opinion.  Hatred, jealousy, and meanness can guide someone’s words; don’t listen to them.  Instead, look for the love behind the words.  

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.   Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV)

When someone rebukes you with love, you know it.  Their kind eyes, gentle touch,  selfless speech tell love’s story.   Correcting someone you deeply care for isn’t easy.  Helping the person understand you’re only telling them to help them is a challenge.  But love never fails; when the hearts motive is right, you’ll know.

After my nephew died, I was struggling.  However, I was unaware of how I was affecting the people around me.  My husband gave me an open rebuke.  He recognized how deeply I was hurting; he knew I needed time to heal.  What I couldn’t see in myself, he saw in me.  We need people who will tell us what we don’t know.

In love, speak the truth.

Question of the Day:

Who can you trust to tell you the truth?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 14:12-16:41 NIV, Hebrews 7:18-28 NIV, Psalm 106:1-12 NIV, Proverbs 27:4-6 NIV