Honest Reflections

“For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.”  Romans 12:4-5
I love my church, beyond words.   I love my pastor. I love the campus pastors. I love the people I get to love on and meet because of them.  It’s a wonderful place.  There is always a seat next to me available if you want to join me.  It’s a great place to meet Jesus.
The last three weeks, my husband and I have been traveling.  I don’t diss church just because I’m not at home.  As much as I love my church, I also believe being in church is so important when we’re not at home, we always find a church to visit.  Church is not a building, church is the people who fill it.
The amazing part of visiting churches while we’re gone is the ability to briefly connect with other believer’s.  Other’s that are persevering and pushing through the hard times, because there are always hard times.  Don’t be fooled.  Christ didn’t promise a rose garden, Christ told the truth:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33  
I have been reflecting on the churches we have visited this summer.  They are all so different, but one thing remains the same, Jesus.  They are all seeking and loving Jesus.  I found Jesus everywhere we went.
Hilton Head Island Community Church is the first church my husband and I attended as a married couple.  That is where we went on our honeymoon.  We were married on a Friday night.  We left on Saturday and we kicked off our honeymoon by going to church.  They were doing a sermon series on marriage. I don’t think that was a coincidence.  I love going back every chance we get.  I love that it is the same lead pastor.  I love that his wife is still leading worship.  I love that this year, they are expanding.  I love that they are buying a new building and they are creating a community center.  I love how God is working in their church.
Life Community Church is where we went next.  It is a church I helped plant 11 years ago.   This church has a huge part of my heart, because of the people.  Mike and Lynda changed my life.  I can’t put into words what their love for me, truly unconditional has done.  When they were called to plant this church, I knew I was called to help them.   I can’t put into words what they mean to me, or LCC.  In February of this year, their lives were changed forever.  As Mike and Bryan, his son, were finishing a home for a homeless vet, they were robbed at gunpoint.  Mike was shot five times and Bryan was killed.  Bryan left behind a beautiful wife and daughter.  I cannot put into words how devastating this loss has been.  Bryan was their worship leader.  As I was helping set up for church, because that is what we do when God gives us the opportunity to worship with them, I wondered why there were so many boxes of tissues?  Then I realized, this church sheds a lot of tears.  This church is in the depths of grieving.  And Jesus is there.  He is in the midst of their grief.  He is comforting them in ways that only He can.  Jesus is there.
Last weekend, we had the privilege of worshipping in Harligen, TX with our Uncle Earl.  I loved their church!  The people were so welcoming and inviting.  They have an incredible homeless ministry.  They put out food every Sunday morning.  The homeless in the area come and partake.  The love of Jesus was  so strong in this church.  And they have Holy Yoga!  I truly wish we were there long enough for me to take the class.  But wow, did I feel the love of Jesus!  I just have to brag on Uncle Earl, he inspires me.  He checks in every week at church to invite people to come with him.  He runs the elevator, but it’s so much more than that.  The conversations that take place on those elevator rides, not a word is wasted.  Love is shared.  My favorite part was the elderly lady that sat next to me.  When we started to sing the hymns this beautiful soprano voice rose from beside me.  I saw a glimpse of her youth as I heard her sing the words.  Her love of the Lord flowed so freely from her lips.  It was a divine appointment to sit beside her this past Sunday.
I love my church.  Beyond words.  I miss it when we aren’t there.  I’ve listened to every message I missed while we were gone.  I’m grateful to be a part of it, more than words can say.  I’m also very grateful that God is alive.  I’m grateful wherever I go, He is there.  I’m encouraged to worship with others and know God is there.
Church is so much more than a building.  Church is the people who are seeking God.  Who are persevering, who are enduring.  Church is us.  Wherever we go, whatever we do, whoever we are with, church is us!
God is always there, no matter what.  It’s up to us to remember that!  It’s up to us to look for Him!
 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Soren Kierkegaard was a Danish philosopher that lived in the 1800’s.    Much of his work deals with the issues of how one lives as a single individual.  I always find his quotes fascinating.  Last week I heard this one: “Now with God’s help, I shall become myself. ”  
This quote is worth taking time to stop and ponder.  I think it has quickly become one of my favorite quotes.  I can do nothing without Jesus.  Any time I try to do it on my own I falter.  The minute I ask Jesus into the situation, I succeed.
I want to become who God created me to be.  I’m learning I have a special purpose, even though it may not be clear to me.  Often times, the only actual thing I know is the next immediate step I am to take.  I love watching as those steps unfold into God’s plan.  I love when I look back over my path I see God’s handiwork.  I love that in every new day I am changing, I am growing, I am becoming myself.
I’ve talked often about how I have started praying over my calendar.  Just this week, I was reminded of how God is the one who truly makes my appointments.  He takes things off which need to come off.  He adds things in which need to be added.  This week he freed up time for me to spend with Him.  Something I desperately needed beyond my regular daily routine.  Time to sit as His feet and lift up to Him my struggles.  Time to write them all down, to organize my thoughts.  To hear what He wanted me to do.
He arranged an impromptu time with friends who spoke words of life into me.  I had prayed earlier in the day for clear direction.  As I sat with them talking, unbeknownst to them, they answered that prayer.  They helped me find the direction I was so desperately seeking.  God used them to help me become myself.
I started my journey with God as a child.  I accepted him into my life when I was 12 years old.  The faith of a child.  I didn’t really understand what it all meant, but I knew I needed Jesus.  As I grew and life started to bombard me, I lost my child like faith.  I veered from the straight and narrow.  It took me years to find my way back.  However, since I returned to Jesus I have become a completely different person.
I have learned grace.  I have learned truth.  I have delved into my past to confront issues which needed to be addressed.  I’ve become more loving.  I’ve developed a life motto, “Love God, Love others”.  I have a life verse(s) now:
 ^“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”  Mark 12:30-31
It has given me purpose.  I have found direction.  I have become myself.  I am still becoming myself.  Everyday as I walk with Jesus, He helps me become me.
My prayer for you, is with His help you will become you!

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”   Jeremiah 29:11
I heard this quote a few week ago, “There is never a moment  God is not thinking about you.”  Erwin McManus.  It has encouraged me ever since.  It comes to my mind often at the oddest times.
Like right now, I’m writing this blog from 36,000 feet in the air.  I don’t think I will ever get used to modern technology.  It has become harder and harder to unplug. As an ex-flight attendant, flying isn’t one of my favorite things to do.  I managed in my brief time flying the friendly skies to actually develop a fear of flying.  Times like this it is reassuring to know I’m always on God’s mind.  I’m thankful He is where ever  I go.  Always thinking about me.  Always available.
Truly though, it’s a hard concept to grasp.  There are so many people in this world.  He is always thinking of all of them.  He is always working, creating connections, organizing meetings.  Moving forward.
I’m listening to this book, “The Power of Habits:  Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business”.  Truly fascinating.  Most of our lives are lived by habits and we are completely unaware of it.  Companies and organizations aren’t.  They have entire teams working non-stop analyzing our every move.  Target, for example, sends personalized brochures to individuals strictly based on their buying habits.  They can actually tell if someone is pregnant and when their due date is, just off of what they purchase.
God doesn’t need a computer program to know our habits.  We’re always on His mind.  Last week I heard a great message at Life Community Church.  We were visiting our friends who started the church.  There was a guest speaker, Thomas Dixon.  His message was tiled “The Life, Death and Resurrection of Thomas Dixon”.  He shared his testimony with us.  How he was raised in Chicago, not in the best neighborhood.  His 30 year battle with drugs and alcohol.  How he came to new life in Jesus.  It started at the age of 16 when he turned his back on God.  He said he lost the next 12 years of his life to his addiction.  One thing he realizes now, is that even though he turned his back on God, God never turned his back on him.
He gave example after example of how God was there, in the midst of all he was doing.  The problem was he couldn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it.  It reminded me of a 10 year period in my life when I did the same.  I turned my back on God.  I knew what God wanted me to do, being raised in the church.  I was determined to do the exact opposite.  I caused a lot of pain to myself, but I can clearly see as I look back, how God was with me the entire time.  Always there, always loving me, always trying to get my attention.
He really was thinking about me the whole time, even though I wasn’t thinking about Him.  It breaks my heart for the time I lost with Him during that period of darkness.  God even gave me grace with that thought.  He led me to this verse, and it immediately brought me comfort:
“The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
    to the swarming locusts, ”  Joel 2:25  
He has and is redeeming those years in my life.  I am able to help others by sharing the lessons I learned.  I am a living witness as they see the transformational change in my life.  Actions do speak louder than words.  It truly is a miracle.
Once again, it reminds me, I am always on His mind.  I may not think He’s listening, but He is.  I may not feel His presence but it is there.  I may not understand what He is thinking, but it is good.  My human heart has a hard time understanding how He is able to think about me that much.  The truth is, I don’t have to understand, I just need to believe.
What about you?  Is He redeeming the years from your past?  Look back over different times in your life.  See if you can pinpoint where He was reaching out to you, but you missed it.  One guarantee is true, He loves you and He’s always thinking about you.
Amen to that!

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9
I honestly can’t remember which book I was reading that talked about not assigning thoughts to people.  In other words, don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking, especially about you.  We project our thoughts and feelings onto someone else.  I’ve been pondering this for weeks.  I’ve realized I do it without even realizing it.
For instance,  when I was teaching the tennis serve to a student.  She was having a hard time with her toss. I know how frustrating it can be so I assumed she was frustrated.  When I said something to her, she wasn’t frustrated at all. She hadn’t even noticed her toss was off because she was still hitting the ball.  She was just happy to hit the ball.  I was completely wrong  about what she was thinking.
I’m often wrong when I think my husband is hungry because I’m hungry.  I’m wrong when I think he must be cold because I’m cold, or tired because I’m tired.  I’m wrong when I think a friend is irritated at me because she hasn’t instantly responded to my text.
In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) this tendency is referred to as a mind-reading error which is the belief that you know what someone else thinks or feels. When you act upon that assumption and it is wrong, problems can occur in the relationship. For instance, people may make accusations based on their assumptions: “I know you think my idea is stupid—you’re such a critical person!” or “You would rather be with her than with me.”
Often what a person sees in others is their own thoughts and feelings reflected back at them. If they are self-critical, they believe others are critical of them. If they are insecure, they believe others couldn’t possibly like them or consider them competent.
It really is a struggle to not assume you know what someone else is thinking.  I find myself battling this often.  I have begun to recognize when I am doing this.  I’ve found one easy way to catch myself is when I’m assigning a negative thought to someone.  “She’s mad at me.”, “I’m bothering her.” etc.  These quickly tell me I’m doing some mind reading.  I remind myself I don’t know.  Don’t make assumptions.
Even more challenging is to realize we don’t know what God is thinking.  We automatically assume He’s upset with us for this or that.  We think there is no way He could forgive us for whatever sin we’ve committed.  We often think other people deserve His blessing but we really don’t.  None of those statements are true.  His word tells us He loves us (John 3:16). He forgives us (Psalm 103:12).  We are the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).   He wants to bless us. (Psalm 20:4).
It’s true we don’t know what other people are thinking about us, but we can know what God thinks.  When we spend time in His word we quickly realize  how much He loves us.  We may not know what He is up too, often we don’t.   We don’t need to know that.  We trust it is good, no matter what the circumstances look like. What we do need to know is how much He loves us.  All of us.
I’m working on giving up the mind reading.  Instead, I’m trying to focus on what I do know.  God loves me, unconditionally.  I’m to love others the same way.  I find loving others, no matter what, helps me give them the benefit of the doubt.  I stop assuming the worst, instead I look for ways to love them.  That is way more fun and a lot less frustrating.
 
 
 

“But let ^[a]your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” Matthew 5:37a
How hard do you work at keeping the promises you make to other people?  Do you put the same priority on the promises you make to yourself?  I have a feeling you don’t.  I can definitely tell you I don’t.  It wasn’t until I was listening to the book “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis I even realized it was a problem.
I spend so much time letting my “yes” be “yes” and my “no” be “no” for others, but spend no time doing it for myself. As pointed out in the book, the reason is simple, I’m not putting myself on my priority list.  I’m putting taking care of others ahead of taking care of myself.  The truth is, I can’t take care of others if I don’t take care of myself.
That’s hard to swallow.  It is also hard for me to swallow that I am a priority.  I have spent so much time training myself in the JOY principle:  Jesus, Others, Yourself it seems wrong to move myself up the list.  But is it really moving myself up the list or being able to accomplish JOY better?
I didn’t really consider it a promise to myself, rather a goal for this year, but I committed to doing two classes a week.  A realistic goal I can achieve.  It’s turned into doing Hot Yoga three times a week.  I’m seven months in and I am stronger and healthier now than I was a year ago.  I am able to care for others better because of this one “promise”.  My joints aren’t hurting when I get up in the morning.  I can walk without limping.  I’ve lost weight.  I even sleep better.  All of these things make me a much nicer person to be around.  I’ve made good health a priority.  I’ve made my good health a priority and the rewards are paying off.
When you make promises to others do you rush into them or do you take time to think it through?  When we don’t make promises lightly to others, it enables us to make sure we can keep them.  It’s no different when you make a promise to yourself.  Whatever it is, make sure it’s realistic and doable.
Here’s an example of the latest promise I have made to myself:  fine tune my diet.  I’ve been slipping on my eating goals.  I need to get back on track.  I’ve been telling myself for weeks I needed to do this, yet I haven’t done it.  Thanks to a good friend who has helped me understand what I need to do, I now have a promise I can keep.
She pointed out to me there are four components of eating healthy:  Planning, Shopping, Cooking and Consuming.  After many conversations, I realized my downfall is in the planning process.  I definitely do not have a problem consuming.  My husband does the cooking (yes I am very grateful).  What woman doesn’t love shopping?  However I’m failing to plan which is sabotaging all of the other four parts.
Here’s how I am going to keep this promise to myself.  I have made reminders.  Wednesday is my planning day.  I am to come up with a meal plan for the following week.  Thursday is the day my friend is going to hold me accountable to completing Wednesday.  Friday is shopping day.  Sunday is meal prep day.  Then let the consuming begin.  I’ve made a promise to myself and I’m determined to keep it.
What promise have you made to yourself you haven’t kept?  What can you do today to start keeping it?

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…”  Matthew 5:44
We all know we are to pray for our enemies, but have you ever thought the enemy you should be praying for is you?
I’m reading a fascinating book titled “Boundaries for Your Soul” by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller.   It focus’s on the battle we fight from within ourselves.  Our anxieties and overwhelming thoughts which have the power to paralyze us.  Immobilizing us from living our lives to the fullest, which is what Jesus wants for us. (John 10:10)
I started reading the book because of it’s subtitle; “How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies”.  Who doesn’t want that?  My thoughts can drive me crazy.  Controlling them can be nothing short of miraculous sometimes.  I was actually battling separation anxiety.  I was looking for solutions.
I’ve found so many insights already and I’m only half way through.  The biggest of which is learning to love the parts of me which are not my favorite.  For instance my anxiety.  The book helps you identify what is causing the unwanted emotion and learn to befriend it.  It makes me think of this quote from Abraham Lincoln:
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”
It really is a revolutionizing thought if we apply it to the parts of ourselves we’re least fond.  I’m aware my separation anxiety began when my father died when I was a teenager.  I learned early what it is to lose someone who plays such a pivotal role in your life.  As a result, I spent much of my 20’s pushing people away because I didn’t want to go through pain like it again.
Inevitably I learned, no matter how hard I try, I can’t live without people.  We are designed to live in community.  We are designed to love each other.  We are designed to suffer loss.  It’s all a part of life.
How do I befriend my anxiety?  By praying for it.  By learning to accept, no matter what I do it is always going to be a part of me.  By understanding it does serve a purpose.  It isn’t the enemy.  It’s my mind helping me to cope with loss.
As I’ve grown older and encountered more loss, the anxiety has stayed with me.  In February, when I lost a dear friend far too soon it reared it’s ugly head once again.  I have befriended it though.  It has helped me understand the meaning of this verse:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Romans 12:18
None of us know how many days God will give us.  We don’t know how many days we’ll have with the people we love.  My anxiety helps me remember those two truths. It has helped me realize it is important to live at peace with everyone to the best of my ability, because I don’t know how long I will get to love them.
I love this quote I read on Facebook the other day.  Not sure where it originated, but it went something like this:
“Love the people God gives you well for you don’t know when He’ll need them back.”
My anxiety helps me live in the moment.  It reminds me all I have is here and now.  It gets me up at 5:00 in the morning to make lunch for my husband when he has a long day at work.  It makes me hug my brothers when I see them.  It helps me tell people I love them easier.  It makes me write the note, send the text, make the call.
My anxiety helps me love better in the here and now.  I have learned to accept it will always be a part of my life.  I am beginning to appreciate how it adds to my life.  How it gives me the 20 seconds of courage I need sometimes to show someone I care.  To open up my arms and hug.  To lift the corners of my mouth and smile.  To live.
I started praying for my enemy.  It turned out the enemy was me.
 
 
 
 

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”  Matthew 7:13
I love to bike ride.  Last month I rode 204 miles to support the fight against childhood cancer.  All of those miles reminded me of one of my favorite analogies of the Christian life.  The narrow road we walk on when we follow Christ, for the road must be narrow to get through the narrow gate.
When you are riding on the road with your bike, it’s best to stay as far to the side as possible to avoid getting hit by a car.  I like to ride in the narrow edge between where the white painted line is and the edge of the asphalt.  I think of this as the narrow road of following Christ.  Sometimes however, I sway past the painted line and am in the much larger road where I’m more likely to get hit by a car.  I always try to get back into the narrow lane as quickly as possible.  It’s much safer there.
I think it’s a beautiful picture of what it is like to follow Christ.  There is only one way to get to Him, one gate to pass through.  However in life, there are many ways we can choose to live our life, many gates we could pass through.
We can follow the path of money and spend all of our time trying to get through the gate of wealth.  We can follow the path of relationships with people and try to find happiness through that gate.  We can follow the path of diet and exercise and try to find our identity in being the perfect size.  There are so many paths we can take, so many gates we can try to get through.   Gates that cause us to lose focus of Jesus.
When I’m riding along on my bike, staying in my narrow little lane  I imagine it is like when I’m following Christ.  Those times when I know I’m in His will, I can feel His presence, we’re in tune with each other.  But then I swerve off the road, I enter into the big road.  Those are the times when I take my eyes off of Jesus and focus on something else.  It could be my own selfishness, a relationship I’m not trusting Him with or a problem I’m trying to solve on my own.   It’s those times I forget to ask Jesus into the situation.  Those times I try to do it on my own strength and not with Him.  Those are the times when I swerve into the big road.
Gratefully, I always find my way back to the narrow road.  I find my way back to Him.  The quicker the better, the safer I will be.  It’s the same in life.  The sooner I realize I’ve lost my focus, the faster I can get the Son back in my eyes.  The faster I get back on the straight and narrow.  It takes work to stay on the narrow road.  It’s ok if you swerve off of it every now and then.  It’s inevitable.  The important part is that you find your way back.
 
 

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”  Galatians 6:9
It never ceases to amaze me how God grows me.  This month I committed to ride 200 miles and raise $500 for the Children’s Cancer Fund.  I made the decision the day before it started for one reason.  To help motivate me to do my cardio workout.  I was in a funk.
God has done so much with that selfish decision.  I’m 11 days from completing it.  I have 49 miles left to ride, $97 left to raise.  I have learned that each week 38 children die from cancer.  I have met and sat with parents who lost their seven year old 3 1/2 years ago.  I’ve listened to their story.  I’ve heard their struggle.  I’ve received emails that have educated me, like the one I received today from the CEO of the CCF:
 
Over the past 19 days, 51,319 riders have so far pedaled 2,234,957 miles across the USA, on all types of bikes and in all kinds of weather. It has been phenonemal to watch the event (and hit ‘refresh’…alot) and the 2018 Great Cycle Challenge USA is set to break all the records.
To break down the month so far:

• 51,319 riders are taking part from every state in the country.
• 105,961 individual donations have been received to support your efforts.
• The website has been viewed a total of 1,905,759 times from 188 different countries across the world.
• Together, we’ve ridden a total of 2,234,957 miles and pedaled for the equivalent of 7,450 days and 9 minutes.

…and we’ve still got 11 days to go.
Wow. This IS truly a movement to end childhood cancer.
To put this into perspective, over those same 19 days you’ve been riding in the challenge:

• 760 families have heard the painful words, “your child has cancer”.
• We’ve lost 103 little lives to this terrible disease.

I have been amazed at the dedication of people all over this country to come together and fight a cause.  I have found heartache and I have found hope.  I didn’t know any of this 20 days ago when I made this commitment.  What I love though is how God lets nothing goes to waste.  I love how He grows and molds us, even through our selfishness.
If there is one thing I would hope for you, make a commitment to a cause you don’t know a lot about.  See what God does with it.  You won’t be sorry!

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”  Jeremiah 29:12
I love knowing God is always available.  I love knowing when I call on Him I will never get a busy line.  I love how intricately He is involved in our lives.  Often times we don’t even realize how close He truly is.
I’m sitting in the hospital as I write this.  I look around at the people sitting here in this waiting room with me and wonder why they are here?  I always wonder if they know God?  If they have His peace which surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:7)?
I have that.  Even though I’m scared.  Even though I’m not sure of what this day will bring, I have His peace.  I’m not saying I don’t wrestle with God.  I do.  I get angry at Him.  I cry out to Him and ask Him why?  It always makes me think of when Jacob wrestled with God:
 ^“So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak.  When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.  
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,^[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”  Genesis 32:24-28
When you wrestle with God you are never the same again.  It always changes you.  It always draws you closer to Him.
It’s funny, as I sit here thinking about past hospital sits I’ve done for people I love, they are special memories.  It’s not something I want to do, don’t get me wrong.  It’s just at times like this, I feel God’s presence in such a special way.  I feel the prayers being prayed for us right now.  I feel His comfort, His strength, His love.
It’s in the kind words of the receptionist who went out of her way to find out information for us.  It’s in the smile of the nurse who walked us to the next stage of this day.  It’s in the hands of the Doctor as He cares for our loved one.  It’s in calming music playing softly in the background.
We had a great sermon yesterday.  It was perfect for the day we had ahead of us.  You can listen to the full message here.
These were the main points:
Need some encouragement today?
If you look for it, you will see it. 
If you need it, go find it. 
If you think it, say it. 
If you preach it, you will feel it!
I love God’s timing.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  It is all true.  If you call out to God, He will answer.  He will encourage.  He will strengthen.  He will persevere.
If you need encouragement, call out to God.  I promise, He’ll answer!

“Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.”  Romans 12:10
Have you ever heard of phubbing?  I hadn’t until last night.  Hubby and I are doing a fun study together called “Five Dates” by Mike and Jennifer Foster.  You literally go on five dates with your significant other.  It guides you through great conversations.  Each has a different topic and is designed to help deepen your relationship.
Last night’s topic was “presence”.  It started by talking about phubbing.  Phubbing is a combination of the words phone and snubbing. It describes the moment when someone pays more attention to their phone than to the person they are with at the time.  What an eye opener for me.  I am a total phubber, especially when it comes to my husband.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence we’re doing this study.  I also don’t think it’s a coincidence they started with phubbing.  I’ve been convicted of this for some time now.  I’ve come to realize, the more comfortable you are with someone, the more you are able to phub them without realizing it.
In complete honesty, the book asked us to rate ourselves on how much of a phubber we are on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst.  I rated myself an 8 and my husband did not disagree with my assessment.
Gratefully, I’m more aware of it than ever now.  I’ll be more conscious about it in all of my relationships.  That was the discussion hubby and I had last night.  It doesn’t just pertain to marriage, it can pertain to all types of relationships.
Did you know on average people check their phones over 150 times a day?  That’s about every 10 minutes or so.  Can you believe in such a short time we’ve developed such an addiction to a device that wasn’t even present 20 years ago?  It literally is ruining marriages!  For some reason, we think whatever is on the phone is more important than the person who is in front of us, including our husband and kids.
What are we missing by being so addicted to our phones?  What moments have passed us by and we didn’t even notice?  It makes my heart hurt to think of the lost moments with my husband.
The good news is today is a new day.  I can always change my priorities.  I can always work harder at my marriage.  I can always pay attention to the moments God gives me today.
Here’s the question, are you a phubber too?  Be honest, it won’t hurt, it can only help!