Honest Reflections

“He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure.”  Psalm 40:2 CSB

Pit in its original form refers to a cistern or well.  Often times, they would use these rock hewn reservoirs or man-made wells as prisons.  In today’s world, we can find ourselves in the pits of life. They can feel like prisons from which there seems no way out.  Especially from our earthly view of things, because we see in part, not in whole (1 Corinthians 13:9), we can feel trapped, isolated, alone with nowhere to go.  

How do we end up in the pit?  Beth Moore’s book “Get Out of that Pit” lists three ways we end up in pits: we’re thrown in, we slip in or we jump in.  Joseph’s brothers threw him in (Genesis 37:24 NIV), David slipped in when he saw Bathsheba sunbathing (2 Samuel 11:2) and Benaniah went in full force after the lion (1 Chronicles 11:22 NIV).  Either way, they all ended up in the pit. And we can do the same thing today in our lives. There are relationship pits, financial pits, spiritual pits, physical pits. Often times, we’re thrown into relationship pits because we can’t control what other people do.  Financial and physical pits are ones we slide in slowly over a period of time. We can throw ourselves into spiritual pits when we turn our backs on God for whatever reason.

No matter how you got there, a pit is a pit.  When you’re at the bottom of it, the only place you have to go is up.  Even more importantly, the only place you have to look is up. That is when we will start finding our way out of the pit.  When we place our eyes back on Jesus and let Him do the heavy lifting. And He will do it, He’ll bring you out and set you on solid ground.  I love what Beth Moore says about the three ways to get out of the pit:

“I believe the Bible proposes three steps out of the pit, and each involves your mouth: Cry Out, Confess, Consent.”

In a snapshot, here’s how to put it in action.  First CRY OUT for God’s help. Then CONFESS your heart to Him, whatever it is, whatever brought you to the pit, lay it all out for God.  Then CONSENT to wait on Him to deliver you in His time, in His way. God’s will is for you to get out of whatever pit you’re in. He’s got a plan to get you back onto solid ground.  But it’s up to you to turn to Him, open your mouth and let Him into the pit with you. Once you do, He’ll lift you out. He promises He will.

“No, despite all these things we are more than conquerors through Him, who loved us.”  Romans 8:37 NIV

Here is an interesting fact I learned from Mark Batterson in his book “If”. The phrase “more than conquerors” in this verse comes from the Greek word “huperniko” which means “hyper-conquer.” Not just a conqueror, through Jesus, we can conquer with success to spare.  It is also where the word Nike comes from in Greek mythology. She was the goddess of victory. As Mark puts it, Paul redeems it and uses it to describe us.

We are conquerors with room to spare!  Why do we act like we are anything less?  Why do we act like we are victims instead of victors?  There is nothing we can’t do when Jesus has our back. Philippians 4:13 tells us we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  So why aren’t we?

Because we don’t believe we actually are.  Because victory doesn’t happen immediately.  Because in order for there to be victory, there has to be a battle.  God will give you victory, but not before you enter into the battle. The Bible is full of battle scenes that end in victory.  But there is always a battle.

David didn’t win the victory over Goliath until he faced him down (1 Samuel 17: 41-47 NIV).  Esther saved the nation but not until she had fasted and prayed, then put her life on the line going before the King (Esther 4:16-5:7). Joshua had to march for 7 days before the walls of Jericho fell down (Joshua 6:1-21 NIV).  Ruth had to leave her home, her family and travel to a distant land to become part of the lineage of Christ; then she worked tirelessly in the fields to provide for her and her mother-in-law for months before being recognized by Boaz (Ruth 1:16-3:9 NIV).  These are all different types of battles, but they are battles. Some fought on the battlefield, some fought in the kitchen, some fought in the wheat field. But they were all battles that ended in victory.

I have no idea what battle you are fighting, where it’s taking place or how long it’s  been going on for you. I do know, through Christ you can have victory and victory to spare.  But first you have to fight the battle. It’s the path to victory when you do it with Christ.

“God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble.”  Psalm 46:1

God is amazing.  I was reminded how amazing this weekend, not just because it was Easter weekend.  We’re campers. We were camping this past weekend with family and friends. We’ve camped in this campground several times before, we typically get the same three spots.  In fact, we were there just a few weeks ago, in those spots. But for whatever reason, this time we didn’t get those spots. We were up further, which turned out to be a God send.

There was a violent storm that blew through on Friday night.  The last estimate showed 35 official tornados that had occurred in its path.  We were all hesitant to camp, especially the ladies, but we decided it would be ok.  I was praying for protection the entire time. I was crying out to God in our time of trouble.  And He heard me before I ever prayed the prayer. That is what I find so amazing about God, this isn’t the first time He’s answered a prayer before I ever prayed it.

The next morning a large tree had fallen across the site we would normally have been in.  By my calculations, it would of landed right where we would have been sleeping. God did help us in times of trouble.  Thankfully, that spot was empty. No one was injured.

Even more interesting is the story of the couple who were in the spot beside it.  They were there to serve at a local church for Easter weekend. The husband had come up on Wednesday night and chosen the spot they were in that day.  When his wife came on Good Friday, she told him she wasn’t thrilled with the spot, could they move to the empty one. Her husband, having been there for two days already asked if they could please just stay where they were since he was already set up.  The other spot was so wet, he didn’t want to mess with it. She agreed and they stayed put. That decision saved their life.

It was 1:30 in the morning when the husband heard the first limb break.  Then the tree fell. Not from wind, not from a tornado, but because it was so wet it had nothing to hold it in place during the storm.  They knew, when they went out with their flashlights, God had spared them. If they had moved spots, they would have been hit by the tree.

God promises to be our refuge in trouble, for all of us.  He is our helper in trouble, even when we don’t know we need it.  Whatever troubles you’re facing today, cry out to Him. He’s waiting to help.  He knows where the tree will fall, He’ll make sure you’re out of the way.

“Honor your Father and Mother as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and so that you may prosper in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Deuteronomy 5:16 CSB

This is one of the 10 Commandments, the only one that comes with a promise attached to it.  Life, specifically in this verse means to “prolong one’s days.” It’s important to understand this is a conditional promise.  We have to fulfill our part of the equation: honoring our father and mother. No matter what age you are, you’re to honor your parents; whether young or old they deserve your respect.  It has always been a challenge to me. I never appreciated them when I was younger, always thinking I knew better. I had the privilege of helping take care of both of my parents at the end of their lives. The requirements then are completely different, often unpleasant, and can be frustrating to say the least.

How does God command us to Honor our parents?

Forgive them for not being perfect.  No one’s parents are perfect, they are human beings doing the best they can with whatever they were given.  Be kind and compassionate to them, forgiving them as Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). That means forgiving them for not letting you go to the concert in highschool.  Forgive them for not allowing you to date whoever you wanted or go wherever you wanted. Forgive them for needing your help to work the remote control as they get older. Forgive them for the role reversal that happens as they age. Forgive them for not being exactly who you thought they should or could be.

Speak well of them, whether in private or public, your words should be respectful (Matthew 15:4 NIV).  Paul tells us in his 1st letter to the Thessalonians we are to speak encouraging words to one another, building them up in hope (5:11 NIV).  Doing that for our parents should be first and foremost in our language. God used them to give you the greatest gift of all, life itself. They diapered your bottom, fed and clothed you to the best of their ability.  It is not an exaggeration that one day, you may be diapering theirs, even then, respect them with your words.

Seek their wisdom. They have lived longer than you, they have gone before you in the struggles of life.  They know more than you know, whether you believe it or not. Solomon tells us in Proverbs, those who walk with the wise will be wise (13:20 NIV).  You will be surprised what you learn if you listen to what they have to say. I can attest, my mother’s words ring in my ears more often than not since she passed.  I wish I would have paid more attention to her when I had the chance. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. She always said I would miss her, she was right.

Honor your parents, God promises long and prosperous life if you do.  But more than that, honor them because they deserve to be honored

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39 CSB

This promise is one we can never hear enough.  I don’t think any of us truly believes God loves us unconditionally.  I think we all have those little niggling thoughts at the back of our heads that try to make us doubt the truth of this statement.  I could be wrong, but I came from a family that has shown me unconditional love, and I still find it hard to believe. After all, I know all my deep, darkest secrets.  But He does. His words says He does, and we’re to believe it.

After I graduated college, I was flight attendant.  During that period of time, I made one of the most grievous mistakes of my life.  Thinking of it now makes me shudder. I will never forget how my family loved me through it, specifically my Mom and my little brother.  I called my brother first, it was a Friday night, I was living in VA Beach, he was in Williamsburg. I was in tears when I called. When he answered, I said, “I’ve done the stupidest thing.  I’m not lovable anymore.” You know what he said to me, he said, “There is nothing you could do that will make me stop loving you. Come on home, I’m here waiting.” And he was. I drove home that night and confessed my horrible sin and he never stopped loving me, he helped me through it.

A couple days later, as I was leaving my Mom’s house I told her.  She was standing at her front door, I was in the driveway. I never told her the details, I just told her I’d done something that I was ashamed to admit, I hadn’t listened to the advice she had given me.  She just looked at me with love in her eyes and said, “Did you learn from it?” I said yes, I certainly had. She said “That’s all that matters, I love you.”

I am blessed, I have experienced unconditional love in my life, more than once.  But a lot of people haven’t. They don’t know what it is like to be accepted no matter what.  That is exactly what God does for each and everyone one of us. He says, there is nothing we can do that will stop Him from loving us.  If you make a mistake, learn from it and keep going. He loves you.

I don’t know if you’ve experienced unconditional love or not.  Either way, I pray today, wherever you are, you will accept that God loves you unconditionally.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop Him from loving you. He always has, always will, always does.

“So if the Son sets you free, you really will be free.”  John 8:36 CSB

The movie “Shawshank Redemption” could arguably be listed as a classic.  The tale of two inmates that bond over years of imprisonment together. But there was one inmate, Brooks Hatlen that touched my heart for another reason. Incarcerated in 1905, he became the prison librarian in 1912 where he served until he was released on parole in 1955.  He was a lifer, or so he thought, until he was released. Brooks didn’t know what to do with his freedom. They put him in a halfway house, found him a job in a grocery store, all the things he would need to start a new life. But he didn’t want a new life. He didn’t want his freedom.  He wanted to go back to jail where he was comfortable. Where he knew what to expect, knew what to do, knew how to live. He didn’t know how to live free. In the saddest scene of the movie, Brooks kills himself in his lonely room of the halfway house. He didn’t know how to live life free.

It’s sad to say, but many of us suffer the same problem as the fictional character Brooks.  We don’t know how to live free. We don’t understand the freedom we have in Jesus. We don’t truly believe we’ve been forgiven all of our sins, even the ones we have yet to commit.  Just because you begin a new life with Jesus doesn’t mean you automatically stop sinning. In fact, Jesus knows we won’t. Each morning, I start fresh. Above my desk I have this prayer hanging which I borrowed from C.S. Lews:

“Imitation: Da hodie perfecte incipere– grant me to make an unflawed beginning today, for I have done nothing yet.”

I live in freedom knowing that in my weakness, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 CSB).  I will never be perfect, Christ didn’t come because I was perfect. He came because I am a sinner who is in need of rescue (Galatians 1:4 CSB).  He did the same for you. But it can be hard to let go of the past and walk in confidence that Christ has set us free. The life we were living is known, the new life in Christ is unknown.  It’s easier to stay where we were than to take steps of faith into the new life God is leading us too. It’s heartbreaking how abused women stay in abusive relationships because they don’t know life without abuse.  It’s seems safer to them than taking steps towards a new life. It’s heartbreaking Brooks would rather die than live a life of freedom.

But that is exactly what Jesus came to do, set us free.  He has set us free from our pasts, from our sins, from hurts and hang ups.  He came to give us life and give it to us in full (John 10:10 CSB). Accept the gift of freedom He has given you.  Don’t go back to jail, step into freedom, step into life!

“But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen and guard you from the evil one.”  2 Thessalonians 2:13 CSB

I love what the Greek word for faithful is: trustworthy, worthy of belief, trust or confidence.  Isn’t that refreshing? Someone you can count on completely. Trust is such a precious commodity.  It is something earned, not given. The best analogy I have ever heard is comparing it to a bank account.  It starts with small deposits, a dollar here a dollar there. Over time it grows and grows, but it only takes one big withdrawal to diminish it back to nothing.

That is why God calls us to store our treasures up in heaven (Matthew 6:19-20).  When we put our trust in Jesus, we are investing in Heaven. Nothing can destroy it or steal it.   But how do we trust Jesus? What does that look like?

We let people off the hook.  We stop expecting them to fulfill our needs and look to Jesus to do it.  People will always hurt you, even the ones you love the most. Even the ones who love you the most.  It’s not intentional, they don’t mean too, but they will. Because they are imperfect people who have hurts and hang-ups.  Some they don’t even know about.

I love the show Grey’s Anatomy.  Why, I’m not quite sure. I find it’s long running success fascinating.  On the most recent episode, they had a storyline where one of the main characters finally realizes he’s afraid of joy.  Through therapy, he uncovers the hurt he experienced the day his father died when he was 10. He was on his way home to share wonderful news about winning a contest, but before he shares it his Mom tells him his Dad has died.  As a result, he never wants to experience joy again because if he does, something bad will happen.

He didn’t know an incident from childhood was causing him to sabotage his relationships as an adult.  If we dig deep enough, we all have stuff in the past that is affecting us today. It will cause us to hurt others unintentionally.  It will cause us to withdraw from the accounts of trust we have built up with others or vice versa. But when we place our trust with God, and take it off of people, we won’t be disappointed.  God doesn’t have hurts from the past He’s overcoming. God just has grace and love He wants to share with you. But first we have to realize, He is trustworthy. He is faithful. He is always there.

“The Lord is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

There is a song by Amy Grant called “Better than a Hallelujah”.  My friend Lynda introduced me to it when I was going through a difficult time.  It’s lyrics have comforted me many times in the years since:

God loves a lullaby

In a mother’s tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

God loves a drunkard’s cry,

The soldiers plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah.

God does love the honest cries of breaking hearts.  He knows this life is hard. He knows our hearts will be broken by the people around us, the circumstances that happen, the events out of our control.  He knows it. And He promises to be close to us when it happens. My heart hopes and prays the heartaches you face will be minimal. I would love it if you didn’t have to face heartbreak all.  Complete honesty, I would love it if I didn’t have to face heartbreak. But the truth is, I do and so do you. But we can take heart, because God promises to be near when we do. If your spirit is crushed, He will save it.

I know this truth.  He’s done it for me many times.  It always starts when I get on my knees and through my tears, I pour my heart out to Him.  If your heart is broken today, start there, on your knees, through your tears, give it to Him.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9 CSB

Grace is hard for me. I’m a truth person.  I like black and white, not a huge fan of shades of gray.  When you’re following Christ there are a lot of shades of gray. What are examples of shades of gray?  For example, God absolutely does love everybody. He loves that person who annoys the heck out of you.  He loves the people who you perceive have wronged you in some way. He loves democrats and republicans, and whatever political party there may be.  And He expects you to love them too.

Those are shades of gray to me because I don’t understand sometimes how He can love them?  Even more, how does He expect me to love them? Especially when they have hurt me deeply. Especially if I have legitimately been wronged.  It happens to all of us. Someone, or even a group of people have hurt you deeply. They may not even know the extent to which you have been hurt.  But you do. It’s a wound that keeps festering. Everytime you forgive, something pulls the scab off again, the hurt feels just as fresh as it did the first time.  That’s when we need grace.

What is grace exactly?  In this verse it means, “Favorable influence of God; divine influence or the influence of the spirit, in renewing the heart and restraining from sin” (Webster’s 1828 Dictionary).  Here is the answer to grace, it comes from God, without Him you cannot extend grace to someone else. When you get into shades of gray, the answer is always grace, no matter what the situation.  To get it, go to the One who gave it to you first.

I’m working through a situation in my life where I’m having a hard time extending grace.  I was hurt very deeply. I’m having a hard time moving past it. I YEARN to move past it. I’m TIRED of hurting.  Yet I feel stuck. Then just yesterday, as I talked about this with a trusted friend, she said these wise words to me.  Someday, you will need the exact same grace you need to extend. If you want to receive grace, you need to extend grace now.

That was a gut punch.  But I haven’t stopped thinking and praying about her words.  Because she is right. I will need grace extended to me, probably sooner than I think.  And I want people to give me grace, so I need to give grace now. I have a new motto written on a card above my desk to help me not forget this lesson:  GRACE EXTENDED, GRACE RECEIVED.

God went first with me, I need to go first with others.  Grace extended, grace received.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.  Death will be no more, grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.”  Revelation 21:4

The book of Revelation was written by John.  He was the youngest of the 12 disciples, brother of James.  At the time of the writing of Revelation he was in exile on the island of Patmos.  He is the only one of the 12 disciples to die a natural death at an old age. He was a disciple under John the Baptist before he became a disciple of Jesus’.  I do not claim to know much about the book of Revelation. I have not studied it, I find it to be a challenge. I do know this though, this chapter is where it all comes true.  This is where the promises are fulfilled. Nothing makes me happier than the thought of God wiping away my tears.

This life is filled with pain, with grief, with death. This life is filled with tears, but God promises to wipe them away.  Not only does He wipe them away, He catches them in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). He knows all of our sorrows. There may be a hurt you haven’t shared with anyone on earth, but God knows it.  Those tears you cried, He caught them in His hand and placed them gently in a bottle. He knows your pain, He will wipe it away.

In a recent message I listened from Andy Stanley, his main point was this:

“You don’t have to understand everything to believe in something.”

I don’t have to understand everything in the Bible to believe in Jesus.  I don’t have to understand everything in the book of Revelation to believe this promise.  I am sure you have probably heard this promise before, it is so often read at funerals and in times of sorrow.  I believe it with all my heart. I’ve cried many tears in this lifetime, I’m sure I’ll cry many more for a myriad of reasons.  I know God’s got a bottle with my name on it in heaven filled with those tears. I know He will one day wipe them all away, there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more grief, no more death.  I believe it with all my heart even though I don’t necessarily understand everything.

He’ll do the same for you, don’t let what you don’t understand keep you from believing the promises He makes.