Honest Reflections

“Let a wise person listen and increase learning, and let a discerning person obtain guidance.” Proverbs 1:5 CSB

In an article titled, “Six Lessons on Good Listening” by David Mathis, he gives us some good advice on how to listen well.  In order to be a good listener, we need patience. We have to take the time to let the other person talk without interrupting them.  Remembering good listening is an act of love can help us have the patience to listen. Asking perceptive questions, questions that require more than a yes or no answer,lets the person know you are listening to what they are saying; they will know you want to hear more.  Another point David brings up, good listening is a ministry. Taking the time to listen to someone allows them to share their heartache, or their joys. Sharing our hearts is what ministry is all about. Listening allows us to speak well. When we pay attention to what is on a person’s heart, we can respond with words of love and grace.  Good listening also reflects our relationship with God. When we are listening to someone pour their heart out to us, we are reflecting to them what God does for us when we pray. If we want to speak more than we listen, we could be doing the same thing with God. We could be talking to God more than we are listening to Him. Patience is a virtue, but so is listening.

I was standing in line to weigh in at WW yesterday.  I ended up in a conversation with the lady behind me in line.  We started talking about marriage. She told me she had been married three times, twice to the same man.  I asked her how that happened, I never expected what she said next. She told me about her mid-life crisis where she left her friends and family and moved to Idaho.  Why Idaho? Because it was clean, she had driven through it once and liked it. She only stayed for about a year and half after divorcing her husband before she moved back to the area.  Her and her ex-husband re-connected and they will be celebrating 20 years of marriage this year, plus the 17 years they had been together the first time around, 37 years in total. This lady warmed my heart as she shared her life story with me.  The love in her eyes as she talked about how he had forgiven her and taken her back, melts my heart to think of now. But I would have never known her story if I hadn’t taken the time to listen and ask perceptive questions. Taking time to listen to someone is something I have to work at.  I tend to be an over-scheduler, so I typically don’t have much margin in my schedule. I’m learning though, if I leave more margin in my schedule, I have more time to stop and listen. When I stop and listen, God never ceases to amaze me with what I hear. Take time to listen to someone today, you won’t regret it.

“The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the word of our God remains forever.” Isaiah 40:8 CSB

The Bible was written in three languages: Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek.  There are approximately 611,000 words.   Over 40 authors contributed to it’s writing, which took place over three continents: Asia, Africa and Europe. Jeremiah is the longest book in the Bible, 3 John the shortest.  No one knows who wrote the book of Hebrews, there are several books in the Old Testament that the author is unknown. There are 21 dreams recorded in the Bible, and 185 songs.   Genesis is believed to be the first book actually written down, somewhere around 1450 B.C., approximately 3400 years ago. Prior to writing down the books of the Bible, they were passed from generation to generation orally.  The entire Bible took over 1500 years to write. Between 1946-1956 in Qumran caves north of the Dead Sea, the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. 981 manuscripts were found in 11 caves, 40% of them were from the Old Testament, confirming its validity.  Every book of the Old Testament with the exception of Esther and Nehemiah have partial or complete manuscripts found in these caves. Thank God there wasn’t texting back then, we may not have any of this information.

The digital age is a wonderful time to live in for its convenience.  However, there is power in the written word. There is character in the written word.  When someone puts pen to paper, they are putting their heart into their words. Taking time to write someone a note, like God did for us through the written word of the Bible, shows love.  Writing a note takes time, much more time than it takes to send a text or email. The beauty of writing is the attention it requires. When we write our thoughts down, we have to focus on what we’re going to say.  Unlike when we’re in a conversation and words come flying out of our mouths before we have time to think about what we’re actually saying, writing gives you the time to give your words thought. Then we have time to go back over them and ask ourselves questions.  Is that really what I’m trying to communicate? How will this be received by the recipient? Once we answer those questions we can edit our words to be more precise in our meaning. And written letters last much longer than a text. Letters can be held, re-read, even hugged.  I have cards my Mom sent me over the years, now that she has passed, I can re-read them and for a moment, feel her presence again. Her hand written letters bring me comfort long after she is gone.

Take time to write someone a note today.  If you have one, insert a Scatter Card for them to pass onto someone else.  Do as God did, write from your heart how much they mean to you, how much you love them, how grateful you are for their presence in your life.  My favorite part of writing notes is when I slip it into the mailbox. I always smile, knowing I’m sending someone else a smile in the mail. Let’s send some smiles today!

“This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”  Romans 5:5 CSB

Leaving change on a wishing fountain is giving someone hope.  Whoever picks up the quarter will have a momentary sense of wonder as they decide what they will wish for, before flipping the coin into the fountain with hope of its fulfillment.  Hope is a commodity this world can use more of, as evidenced by Hayden Philpot when he stood by a flag pole and prayed. “See You at the Pole” is a movement which started a few years ago.  Students all around the world gather at flagpoles at their schools and pray for the upcoming year. Wed, Sept. 25th is this years “See You at the Pole Day,” it falls in the middle of Global Week of Student Prayer from Sept. 22nd-28th, more information can be found here.  Hayden was the only one to show up at the flagpole at Lake Minneola Highschool in Sept. of 2017.  He thought others would show up as well, but when they didn’t, he simply asked God to use him. He was the coin that God left on the wishing well for the rest of Hayden’s community.

A passerby noticed Hayden praying by himself and took a picture and posted it on Facebook, the post went viral.  The post said: ““I commend the young man that stood alone at Lake Minneola High School’s ‘See You at the Pole Day.’ I weld up with tears, happy tears, proud tears. I honestly didn’t know that it was today until after I had left and heard it on the radio. Please take a moment today to pray for our children, school, teachers, and administrators. Pray for protection over them, guidance, wisdom, and a wonderfully blessed year.”  Hayden gave hope to a community by his obedience to God. Hayden prayed specifically as he stood alone at the pole; ‘God, as people drive by, let them wonder, let their hearts be pricked.’ Hayden’s prayer was answered, people did wonder, their hearts were pricked.  He stood physically alone that day, but God saw him. God knew his heart, He answered his prayer, Hayden’s wish came true.

When you toss a coin into a wishing well, it causes ripples.  Ripple effect is the ripples that keep expanding outward when an object is dropped into it.  Hayden caused a ripple effect when he stood alone by the flagpole. The first ripple was the passerby that saw him and snapped a picture, then posted it.  From that ripple hundreds and thousands more spread throughout the world as the picture went viral. God dropped Hayden by a flagpole and used him to ignite a movement and spur it on.  The ripples are still going, this devotional is another ripple of a teenage boy having the courage to stand alone and pray. He’s giving me hope, and I’m sharing it with you. If there isn’t a wishing well for you to leave a coin at today, you be the coin.  Let God drop you where you need to be today. If you don’t know what to do when you get there, pray like Hayden. Ask God to use you, wherever you are, then watch as the ripples begin to flow from you. Ripples of hope that comes from a heart full of Jesus.

“Each person should do as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or out of compulsion.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 CSB

Benjamin Franklin, renowned scientist and politician, had a rival in the legislation back in his day.  He had a unique way of dealing with him, he asked him for a favor. He asked him to borrow a book. Franklin had heard his rival had a rare book that he wanted to read; Franklin wrote him asking to borrow the book, he let him.  A couple of weeks later when the guys run into each other, his rival isn’t as hostile as he had been previously. Not only is he not hostile, but they ended up becoming friends. This story, found in Franklin’s autobiography, is known as the Benjamin Franklin Effect.  Researchers have found, when you do a favor for someone, especially someone you slightly dislike or feel neutral towards, you will like them more. And you’re more likely to do a favor for them again.

Paul is talking about the same thing in his letter to the Corinthians, he’s talking about giving without expecting anything in return.  When Benjamin Franklin’s rival lent him the book, he wasn’t expecting anything in return. Franklin had made a request and he responded to it.  The book however, became they’re meeting point. The book gave them something to talk about, these two rivals had finally found neutral ground. Neutral ground is where friendships are formed. Whether or not that was Franklin’s motive when he asked to borrow the book, we’ll never know.  Often, when we do favors for others, we really are expecting something back in return. Rarely do we do things without ulterior motives, whether we realize it or not. We do things out of guilt, worry about what others will think, trying to impress someone, trying to impress ourselves, the list could go on and on.  What Paul is imploring us to do, is give for the sake of giving, because you want too. Don’t give for any other reason, don’t expect anything in return. Do a favor for someone, just because it’s the right thing to do.

And do it for someone you slightly dislike or feel neutral towards, see if it makes you like them better.  Find out if providing neutral ground through a favor gives you a commonality to connect with someone with whom you want to connect. Find out if, like Franklin and his rival, having something to talk about helps you form a friendship you never thought would be possible. Give without receiving, like Jesus did for us.  Do a favor for someone without asking for one in return. A favor doesn’t have to be big, it can be simple. A favor can be pulling your neighbors trash can in off the curb, picking up mail for a friend out of town, or watering their plants. If lending a rival a book can repair a friendship, it’s immeasurable what God can do with a willing heart and a favor.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 CSB

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine who is a deep water diver.  He was explaining to me when you dive, you can sink as fast as you want to the bottom.  However, you can’t rise up as fast as you go down or the pressure will kill you. You have to rise up in levels, allowing your body to equalize to the pressure as you go.  The fastest you can rise up, in an emergency situation is no faster than the bubbles you blow. In other words, think of bubbles floating to the top of a glass, if you were a diver at the bottom of the glass, you couldn’t beat the bubbles to the top, you have to wait for them to get there first.  What does this have to do with Jesus? We can fall into sin very quickly, but we don’t recover from it as quickly as we go into it.

For instance, falling into debt is one of the easiest things to do in today’s world.  Credit card applications are in abundance, even if you have bad credit, they’ll find a way to get you more credit.  House loans, car loans, student loans, debt is very easy to find for all of us. Debt is a very easy sin to fall into, but it can take a long time to recover from it.  You can only go as fast as the dollars when it comes to getting out of debt. In the same way, gluttony is a sin. I am a glutton, I over eat and I have weight issues.  I have found in my gluttony, putting on weight is much easier than taking weight off. You can only go as fast as the calories when it comes to weight loss. When we are turning our lives over to Jesus, we can only go as fast as He allows us to go.  Jesus knows, if we rise too quickly, it’s too much pressure. Jesus knows if people get out of debt too quickly, they never learn how to manage money. Jesus knows if it was easy for me to lose weight, I wouldn’t learn how to manage calories. Jesus knows, we can’t rise too fast.  Jesus knows, life is a journey with lessons along the way. We can’t learn the lessons all at once, we can only learn them when we’re ready to learn them. Jesus knows.

But “There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1), that is the bottom of the ocean for us.  When there is no condemnation, it means all sins have been forgiven. The moment of forgiveness is when we start to rise back up with the bubbles.  Every moment after that is God perfecting us, God teaching us, God raising us up to who He created us to be, for His purpose. We can sink quickly to the bottom, but when there, we can always look up.  We can find the forgiveness we need, we can begin the journey back to wholeness. And as we’re following the bubbles up, we can enjoy the journey. We can embrace the lessons, we can love the people, we can enjoy the adventure.  Life with God is always an adventure, you’re always rising up. Today’s adventure, let someone go in front of you in line!

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it” Hebrews 13:2 NIV

In the Presidential race of 1860, it came down to two men, Abraham Lincoln and William H. Seward.  The race was tightly contested, but as we all know, Lincoln won. What you may not know is the man who was behind Seward was Thurlow Weed.  Weed dedicated his life to Seward, getting him elected as President was his life’s mission. At a pivotal point in the election, Lincoln was behind Seward by 1 1/2 votes, when it was announced that Ohio had changed it’s four votes from Chase, another candidate, to Lincoln.  This shift in votes is what gave Lincoln the victory. The loss was devastating for the Sewardites, they looked to Thurlow Weed for consolation, He had none. He later acknowledged, Seward’s defeat was “the great disappointment of his life.” (Excerpt taken from ““Team of Rivals: the Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln” by Doris Kearns Goodwin)   Weed’s statement got me to thinking about disappointments in life, and I realized, one of my disappointments in life was missing opportunities to be hospitable to strangers, who may very well have been angels in disguise.

Disappointment is something that doesn’t get discussed.  In the quest I’m on to better define my emotions, I’m learning disappointment is one of them.  Disappointment is part of life, it’s part of every day, yet we don’t identify it correctly. When we go to lunch at our favorite restaurant and they are out of our favorite meal, we get angry.  But we’re not really angry, we’re disappointed. When our spouse doesn’t respond to a situation the way we think he should, we mask our disappointment behind anger or another type of emotion. Disappointment is an emotion, as Weed expressed it in the midst of his grief for the loss of the election.  He was disappointed that his hard work did not result in the victory he had wanted for Seward. I’m sure there were a mixture of other emotions he felt, but he was wise enough to understand, the leading emotion was disappointment. When things don’t go the way we want them to in life, when we have done everything we can to achieve a result and we don’t, among other things, we are disappointed.  And that is part of life.

Showing hospitality to strangers has always been difficult for me, but when I read the verse above, it turns into missed opportunities.  What angels have I missed because I have been focused on my life to notice them? What strangers have I not been hospitable too, that I should have been? As I ponder the verse above, my overwhelming emotion is disappointment for the divine appointments God arranged for me in the form of a stranger. When I asked myself, what is a great disappointment of my life, my answer is different than Seward’s.  His disappointment was losing an election, mine is missing out on the opportunity to serve an angel. Let’s not miss our chance today, buy a stranger coffee or a meal. You never know, you may be entertaining an angel.

“The blessings of the Lord, it maketh rich, and He added no sorrow to it.”  Proverbs 10:22 KJV

The key to understanding this verse is understanding what rich is.  What blessings of God makes us rich? Our riches are those stored in our heart, the unexpected moments that occur in life that take our breath away, those are our riches.  Riches can’t be bought, they can’t be manufactured, they can only be given by God, with them there is no sorrow.

Wisdom is one of God’s riches, that comes with no sorrow.  You never know where you’re going to find tidbits of wisdom.  I found wisdom watching a Netflix original show; the main character is separated from her partner.  In the scene she’s with a group of friends, sharing her anxiety that her partner is going to do something rash and stupid.  One of the friends looks at her and simply says, “Does her partner have a history of doing rash and stupid things?” The heroine didn’t answer as she stopped and thought about this for a moment.  She realized quickly, her partner didn’t have a history of doing rash and stupid things, she did. God revealed two bits of wisdom from this random television scene to me. First, when I become anxious that my husband is going to make a bad decision,  I need to ask myself this question: Is it his style to do rash and stupid? I immediately know it isn’t, I can then allow myself to trust him more as I focus on the truth. Secondly, I realized how easily we project our own issues onto others. As in the case above, she was projecting her own actions onto her partner.  I do the same thing to Ron, there are times I’m afraid he’s going to mishandle a situation because of his emotions, but that’s not Ron. He doesn’t let his emotions rule his decisions, I do. I have to remind myself not to project my issues onto him. Wisdom is one of the blessings of God’s riches, with it comes now sorrow.

Not only does God’s blessings make us rich, with no sorrow added to it, they bring us peace.  There is a situation Ron and I are working through which has brought me angst. I’ve been asking for God’s peace in the situation.  God used this television scene to bring me peace. By helping me remember how level headed and thorough my husband is in his decision making, I find peace.  By reminding me not to project my issues onto Ron, it brings me peace. God also revealed a blind spot to me in my life with this scene. He unveiled to me in a loving way the importance of not letting our emotions control us.  Once I realized I was projecting onto Ron my own emotional response, I can actually deal with the truth: I respond emotionally. I’m learning to identify my emotional responses to situations, and not let my emotions rule me. God’s blessings, maketh one rich, and no sorrow is added to it.  Riches aren’t money, riches are far greater than money.

“But a Samaritan on his journey came to him, and when he saw the man, he had compassion.” Luke 10:33 CSB

Confession time, I found a list of 101 random acts of kindness I’m using as a cheat sheet for ideas.  I found the list on pinterest, then I play little games with the list. Today, I decided whichever random act I landed on with my highlighter, I’d write a devotional on it.  And this is what I landed on: Recycle things you see on the road. I immediately thought of the Good Samaritan, who we will call Sam. Here’s a long story short found in Mathew 10. Jesus used this parable to answer the question: who is my neighbor?  There is a man beaten on the side of the road, the first person to pass him by is the Priest. In other words, the Lead Pastor of the church kept strolling when he saw a man bleeding and dying. Next came the Levite, who also keeps on walking. Levites are God’s chosen people, they’ve been manning the Temple from the beginning of time.  He kept on walking too. But Sam doesn’t, Sam stops and helps him. He goes beyond helping him on the side of the road, he takes him to a hotel and pays the bill. The guy was amazing, but according to the Priests and Levites, the Samaritans were scum of the earth. God didn’t love them. Yet when Jesus wanted to illustratrate the point, “who is your neighbor?”, He used this story.  Your neighbor is everyone.

There’s another point to this story.  My Bible doesn’t say “who” the man was in the ditch.  He very well may have been a Samaritan, maybe that is why Sam helped him, we’ll never know.  But if the first two men who professed to love God so much, men whose lives were spent trying to follow His law, why didn’t they help?  How can you spend all of your time studying God’s word and yet not show love to people? I know, since I started back to school, I’ve studied God’s word more than I ever have before in my life.  His word has changed me. I’m not the same person I was 9 months ago. He has healed me. He has challenged me. He has grown me. And I feel like the journey has just begun. How could these men  walk by a man on the side of the road and not help him? Because they didn’t know Jesus, that’s why. The Priest and the Levite’s hearts weren’t focused on God and others, their hearts were focused on themselves.  They probably didn’t even notice the guy because they were caught up on their phones. I’ve done the same thing. I’ve not noticed people before, I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have. I’ve been too busy to notice someone standing right beside me.  I’ve missed Divine Appointments, because I was too busy thinking about myself. I’m trying to change that, but the journey ahead is long and the road is not easy.

But today, I can recycle things on the road.  Maybe I’ll recycle a tin can, or maybe I’ll help heal a broken heart.  May you do the same! God only knows which way the day will go!

“He will cover you with his feathers; you will take refuge under His wings.  His faithfulness will be a protective shield.” Psalm 91:4 CSB

Today is the five year anniversary of God calling Cody boy back to Him.  He died from the terrible disease of diabetes. The verse above is the one my family and I have clung to since that day. When we find a feather, to us, it is Cody saying hello from heaven.  I’d like to share a little bit of him with you today. His presence in my life, for the brief 20 years we had him, was amazing. He helped me grow and love like I never had before him.  He was not perfect, no one is, but he was perfect to me. Cody had an old soul, he was wiser than I will ever be. There was a period of time where I was fighting with his dad, we weren’t speaking.  Cody was better than both of us, he rose above the family squabble and loved us both. He was an amazing young man.

I recently started therapy, it has helped me immensely, although it was very difficult for me to do. God is taking me on an interesting journey.  My therapist is having me read a book on grief. She gave the book to me two weeks ago, it took me a week and a half before I could pick it up. Once I started reading it, I started identifying with what it was saying. The book, “On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss,” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. and David Kessler, was written while Elisabeth was dying.  In fact, she died before the book was completed and David finished the book. My therapist is helping me understand grief is an ongoing process, it doesn’t magically end one day. I’ve begun to realize, I’m still grieving the loss of my Dad over 30 years ago. But it is also teaching me about the circle of life and death. We always want to talk about life, but we don’t like to talk about death.

Life and death are interconnected, neither should be feared when your life is in Christ.  My favorite story from the book so far is about Margaret and Frank, a couple who had been married 50 years. Margaret had a terminal illness, she was petrified of dying because she would leave  Frank. She couldn’t bare the thought of being apart from him. Just hours before she died, Margaret told Frank, it was finally ok to go. When Frank asked, “Why now?”, Margaret responded, “Because God told me you’re already there.”  This puzzled Frank until he realized, God and heaven are outside of time and space. On earth, it may be another 10 years before Frank sees Maragaret again, but where Margaret is going, it will seem like only a couple of seconds have passed.  I’ve also learned, in the last five years, I love Cody more now than ever. He lives on in me, and my family. He touched so many lives, every life he touched carries him with them. We may be physically apart, but we are always spiritually connected. One day, we’ll see each other again, and it will only seem like seconds.

I hope this brings comfort to any broken hearts out there.  Pray for my sister-in-law Jill today as she grieves the loss of her son on this anniversary.

“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” Ephesians 4:32 CSB

This is our verse of the month.  You will see this verse on the Scatter Cards we made for you.  We had a 1000 of these cards printed. I’m hoping we will have none left at the end of this month, but if we do, we do.  We can’t out dream God. If you haven’t asked for any yet, haven’t received yours, or just need some, comment below and we’ll get some to you right away.  God gave me the idea to have a Random Acts of Kindness month because of Waters Edge Church’s (WEC) Love Week. I’ve participated in many of these in the past when we attended there, my favorite was the Random Acts of Kindness cards.  Those cards forced me out of my comfort zone to actually help a person. Understand, I was a single woman for 42 years before I got married, I traveled for work, I had a lot of very scary things happen to me in those years. I am afraid of people, because I am aware how much people hurt you.  But I’m working on that with my therapist.

Recently, I learned from my therapist the best form of therapy for me, after having a car accident years ago, is exposure therapy.  Exposure therapy simply means getting back on the horse. When you fall off of a horse, the longer you wait to get back on it, the more likely you never will.  But if you’re able and can, getting right back on the horse will save you from your fear. Random Acts of Kindness is exposure therapy for me. I have been hurt deeply by people, therefore I struggle letting people into my life.  But doing Random Acts of Kindness during Love Week when we were at WEC made me face my fear of people. The other day I bought lunch for one of our country’s Navy men to thank him for his service. Buying him lunch was the highlight of my day with God, there is a time I would have never done such a thing.  Even better, when I told him I was buying his lunch, he said no, he was buying lunch for his wife as well, he couldn’t accept. I said, “I’m buying both.” There is a day my fear of people would have never let me do something like buy a stranger(s) lunch. Praise God, those days of fear are gone. 

Each day we’ll have a new suggestion for a way to scatter kindness.  Some days you’ll be able to do them, some days you won’t. My prayer is that no one will feel pressure to do this.  I’m praying we all have a little fun, scatter kindness wherever we are, and glorify God. Let’s see if we can make it into a lifestyle instead of just a month.  Every person you see today, the Lord loves. You get to represent Him to them. The easiest way to scatter some kindness is with a smile, don’t even have to give them a card.  This month is going to be good!