Honest Reflections

“But as for you, brothers and sisters, do not grow weary in doing good.” 2 Thessalonians 3:13 CSB

My dear pastor friend, Mike Cooke, taught me this parable about journeying through life with others:

Two people are driving down the road together on a journey. They are tracking with each other, both moving at the same speed, both growing together.  But then the car gets a flat tire and they have to stop. They pull over to the side of the road and fix the flat tire. Once the tire is fixed, the driver is ready to get back in the car and start back on the journey.  His buddy on the other hand, has decided he likes it here by the side of the road. He doesn’t want to get back in the car, he wants to stay right where he is. Now the driver has a decision to make, he can either stay here on the side of the road with his friend, or he can keep on going by himself.  There have been many times in my life when I’ve gotten in the car and kept going. There are other times in my life when I’m the person who wants to stay right where I am, content to sit on the side of the road.

Here is Mike’s point, our journey with God is one that we have to choose to engage in every day.  When we get up in the morning and decide to follow Him, our lives will change. He will use us, He will grow us.  But if we get up in the morning and decide we are content right where we are, He’ll let us sit there. He won’t be able to use us, we won’t be able to grow.  Every time we choose to sit on the sidelines we miss out on the adventure God has waiting for us. Our journey with Christ, persevering through the struggles of this life, is how God molds us into who He created us to be.  Through our journey, we become a new person, no two journeys are alike, just as no two people are alike.

Jesus is a gentleman.  He knocks on the door of our hearts, He doesn’t force His way into them (Rev. 3:20 CSB).  He will help us fix our flat tires though, our broken hearts that make us not want to get back on the journey again (Psalm 147:3 CSB).  And most of all, He’ll transform us into who He created us to be with tender love and grace (2 Corinthians 5:17 CSB). Today, when you help someone fix a flat tire, understand it may not be literal.  Instead, the flat tire you might help someone fix is a broken heart. An act of loving kindness to someone whose heart is hurting helps to heal the hurt, it helps them get back on the road. The tools to fix it, God has already given you.  You can listen to their heartache, you can offer them a warm hug, you can help them get back on the road again by taking the first step with them. Life is a journey we only get to do once here on earth, let’s make the most of it.

“Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure-pressed down, shaken together, and running over-it will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38 CSB

Years ago, I was listening to a message by Mark Batterson while I was traveling.  He was talking about giving. He shared that one of his favorite things to do is tip someone who doesn’t expect it.  A janitor, a sales clerk, someone who works in the service industry who doesn’t usually receive tips. His message inspired me that day.  I was traveling on I-95 when I was listening to it, when I stopped for a potty break, there was a cleaning woman in the restroom. I had a $10 bill in my pocket, and I tipped her with it as I was leaving.  The look of shock on her face was priceless. Believe it or not, it was incredibly hard for me to do. I felt awkward, I wasn’t sure HOW to do it. I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, and yet I had just listened to this message about doing this very thing and felt it was a divine appointment.  I gathered my 20 seconds of courage, handed her the bill, thanked her for her service and was on my way.

Getting out of our comfort zone isn’t easy.  If it was, we would live in the world outside of our comfort.  There’s no stress when we’re in our comfort zone, we know what to expect, we don’t need to do much, it’s easy.  Outside of our comfort zone is the unknown, even when doing good deeds. I didn’t know what the cleaning woman was going to do when I handed her the money.  I had never done anything like that before, yet I was trying to be obedient. Often when God calls us to do something, it’s outside of our comfort zone. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t grow, we wouldn’t be taking steps of faith.  I have no idea how me tipping that lady impacted her day, or her life. I probably never will until I get to heaven, but I trust that God knows. I trust that it was in His plan for me to take that step of faith. I trust that He knows exactly why He maneuvered things to happen that way that day.  For all I know, she may not have food to eat and it provided a meal, or maybe she had lost hope and a stranger’s kindness gave some back to her again. God only knows why, I just had to do.

When we challenge ourselves to get out of our comfort zone, no matter what it is, it helps us to be all we can be.  It allows God to grow us in ways we otherwise wouldn’t grow. We can spur on our creativity as we think of ways to move outside of the known into the unknown.  Taking steps of faith, no matter how small, always takes us into the unknown, if they didn’t, it wouldn’t be faith. As you move through your day today, look for ways to get outside of the normal routine.  Find someone to tip who doesn’t normally get tipped, then take 20 seconds of courage and just do it!

“He prayed to the Lord. “Please Lord, isn’t this what I thought while I was still in my own country? That’s why I fled toward Tarshish in the first place.  I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and one who relents from sending disaster.” Jonah 4:2 CSB

I love Jonah.  His honesty with the Lord is a great example for all of us.  God sent Jonah on a mission to Ninevah to tell them to repent and turn towards Him.  Jonah, not being a fan of the Ninevites, thinking they deserved to be destroyed, rebels against God.  His rebellion gets him a luxury room in the belly of a whale for three days until he gets vomited out on shore.  Jonah learns his lesson, goes to Ninevah and delivers the message God has given him. The Ninevites listen and repent, which saves the city from destruction and makes Jonah mad.  We catch up with Jonah in the verse above when he’s explaining to God why he didn’t want to go in the first place. Jonah knew God would forgive them and not punish them.

I can relate to how Jonah is feeling.  There are and have been people in my life that I would put in the land of the Ninevites.  People that have hurt me, people that I don’t want to pray for, people that I don’t want to share the love of God with today.  Yet that is not what God has commanded me to do. Jesus has told us what the greatest commandment is; love God, love others (Mark 12:30-31).  No one is exempt from the love of God, no matter how I feel. God hasn’t sent me to Ninevah to tell them to repent, but He has told me I’m to love everyone He places before me.  I cannot possibly accomplish my mission without God’s presence in my life. God has also taught me, sometimes the best way to love people is from afar. Not everyone is capable of receiving God’s love from Him or us for one simple reason, they don’t love themselves.  The second half of Jesus’s command is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31 NIV). If you don’t love yourself, you can’t share love with others.

Jesus never forces himself on us, and we shouldn’t force ourselves on others.  If there is someone in your life today who is having a hard time receiving God’s love, lift them up in prayer.  Ask God to open up the door of their hearts and let Him in to it. Pray specifically and ask God what you can do to show them love that they will be able to receive.  Sometimes the best way to show people love is by giving them space to grow, sometimes it’s taking them to lunch. When we try to force God’s love on people, we just push them away.  Whoever it is God is calling you to show love to today, ask Him what the best way to do it is. You’ll know, without a doubt, what you should do.

“The disloyal one will get what his conduct deserves, and a good one, what his deeds deserve.” Prov. 14:14 CSB

I personally think the best way to celebrate a friend is with a cup of coffee.  To me, there is nothing better than sitting across the table from a friend and chatting.  I had the privilege of having a cup of coffee with our prayer warrior, Joyce. (I actually had iced tea, but same thing.)  Two hours flew by without any effort. Our shared love of God gives us a common bond that opens up the door for rich conversation. I really don’t know how to put into words the connection that happens when God creates the bridge between two hearts.  Joyce’s obedience in her walk with God is awe inspiring. As I sat and listened to her share her life with me, how God has brought her through the trials in her life, I couldn’t help but be inspired. The need for community is a built in desire we all have.  None of us were meant to live alone, we were meant to live together, spurring each other on during the storms of life.

I shared a story with Joyce that has spurred me on for over 30 years.  I was attending a small Methodist church with my Mom years ago. A woman in the congregation named Judy has inspired me for years, yet she has no idea.  I’m ashamed to admit it, but I don’t even know her last name. I was young, and even more self-centered than I am now. Judy’s 19 year old son died in a car accident, I vividly remember it was a Wednesday.  My heart ached for her, and I assumed that would be the last we would see of Judy. I made that assumption because when my Dad died, I turned my back on God. I thought that was what everyone did when things didn’t go their way.  But Judy revealed a truth to me, without even knowing it. That Sunday, when we went to church, Judy was there. As I write this, I can see her sitting in the hard wooden pew, her back straight, her beautiful hair flowing down her back.  Her head was bowed and she wasn’t much for conversation, but she was there. Judy remained a faithful servant to the Lord, even after the tragic loss she had endured.

I was disloyal when I turned my back on God, as a result, I suffered greatly in my personal life.  I had no one to blame but myself. Judy remained faithful, and in her faithfulness she taught a young woman a new way to live.  And this lesson was taught without saying a word. We need friends in life, we need to celebrate those friendships. When God draws two people together, both connected by their faith in Him, the friendship that is born is indescribable in its beauty.  Just as Joyce and I sat and shared our hearts with each other, celebrate a special friendship you have today. Take them out for coffee, buy them lunch, whatever your heart leads you to do. Then sit and enjoy each other’s company, sharing your hearts, knowing the strand that binds you together is God.

“Listen closely, my God, and hear.  Open Your eyes and see our desolations and the city that bears your name.  For we are not presenting our petitions before you based on our righteous acts, but based on your abundant compassion.”  Daniel 9:18

Praying for others can be difficult.  Often, we say we’re praying for someone but we don’t say what we’re praying.  I’m a big believer in specific prayer, the more specific the better. The Serenity Prayer, written by Rienhold Niebuhr is one of the most beautiful prayers written outside of those in the Bible.  Most people know the first few lines of the prayer, but they don’t know it in its entirety. If you need help writing an encouraging prayer for someone, maybe the full version of this prayer will help:

God, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can, 

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,

One moment at a time, 

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;

Taking as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it;

Trusting that You will make things right

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen

The beauty of this prayer is it covers everything.  There will always be things in life we cannot change, and there will be things we can.  We need to know the difference between the two or we will waste time on the wrong thing.  When we accept life as it is, we can find joy in the moment, trusting God’s plan, no matter how difficult the circumstances.  There will always be sin in this world, but if we trust that the hardships of life lead to peace, we will have peace. Peace can be found in surrender to God’s will.  Remembering this life is temporary, helps us understand we aren’t meant to be completely content here on earth. If we were content, we wouldn’t have the longing to be with Jesus, we wouldn’t need Him.  But we do need Him, we can find reasonable happiness in this life, but our supreme happiness comes when we are reconnected with our Creator in heaven.

Take time today to write a specific prayer for someone in your life who has asked you to pray for them.  Be specific in what you are praying and asking God for on their behalf. If they need financial blessing, ask for an amount and let them know what it is.  If they need healing, be specific the type of healing you’re petitioning God for on their behalf. Whatever their need is, write out a prayer for them and send it to them.  Just knowing you are being specific will help them find the pathway to peace through the hardship they are facing because they will know they are loved.

“Above all, put on love which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:14 CSB

Kokayi Nosakhere decided he wanted to do something that would spread kindness to his community.  He wanted to do something that was “practical that would have impact, so what came to mind was a letter…a handwritten letter because we’re so digital and so social media oriented.”’  For the past few years in Ashland, OR, he has been doing just that. He is close to reaching his goal of 5000 letters of encouragement. Letters found on cars, bus stops, bathroom stalls, and libraries have brought unexpected joy to people in his community.  His goal is to help people think more positively in life, he is spreading love to a world that badly needs it. Each letter takes him approximately 15 minutes to write. By the time he has finished writing his 5000th letter, he will have spent 1,250 hours writing letters to strangers, just to brighten their day. You can find the entire article on this amazing man here.

But what would you say in a note of encouragement to a stranger?  First, start with why you’re writing the letter. Something as simple as, “I wanted you to know God loves you,” or “I wanted you to know you matter, the world is a better place because you are in it.”  Share from your heart. You could say, “I hope you’re having a good day,” or “I’m praying for you today.” Offer encouraging words such as, “If you’re having a bad day, don’t give up, it will pass,” or “There is always hope, no matter what you are facing.”  Include your favorite Scripture, or a line from your favorite worship song. The letter doesn’t have to be long, doesn’t have to be full of flowery words. As long as you fill your note with love, whoever receives it will be blessed. Knowing a stranger took time out of their busy schedule to write a note for them can lift a strangers spirits who may desperately need encouragement.  Writing a note will definitely bless you.

Years ago, a friend and I left encouraging notes tucked away in hidden places for people to find.  The part I loved the most was daydreaming about who would find them. I wondered if they were male or female, what kind of day they were having, when and if it would be found.  Each time a thought would cross my mind, I’d smile, knowing that whoever found the note was who God meant to have it. I knew His timing would be perfect in leading them to the note.  I trusted His promise in Romans 8:28, all things work to the good for those who believe and trust in Him. Try it just once, write a note and tuck it under a wiper on a windshield, leave it on a bench or stick it in a bathroom stall, wherever the Lord leads you to place it. You can leave the envelope blank, you can address it to a “Friend,” or you can say, “If you’re having a bad day, open me.”  Whatever you decide, have fun. You’re spreading love in the world, you’re creating unity, you’re bringing a little bit of heaven to earth for someone who needs it. 

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?” Psalms 56:3-4

Capt. Rosemary Mariner died on January 24th this year after battling Ovarian Cancer.  She is the first female Navy pilot to command a naval aviation squadron. For the first time in history, on Feb. 2, all female pilots flew the Missing Man Flyover to honor her in her final resting place.  Capt. Mariner was a pioneer for women in the military, not only was she the first female Navy pilot, she also fought for a congressional measure that lifted a ban on women serving in combat. When Rosemary joined the Navy, most women were assigned to hospital posts or clerical jobs.  In 1973, when she joined, she was already a licensed pilot with a degree from Purdue University. The military didn’t know it, Rosemary might not have even known it, but times were about to change.

As of 2017, women make up 16% of active duty military.  Because of Rosemary’s efforts to allow women to fight in combat, Lt. Marina A. Hierl became the first woman to command an infantry platoon in 2018 for the Marine Corps. Women have come a long way in the military, they have fought hard to be able to fight for our country.  Whether or not you agree with women in combat, there are women who are so passionate about fighting for our country they have gone to rigorous lengths to have the privilege to serve. And they have given their lives, as Beverly Sue Clark did on Feb. 25th, 1991 in Afghanistan during Desert Storm.  She was a bridesmaid at my brother’s wedding, serving in the reserves, called into action. She was killed with several others when a Scud missile hit their barracks. She was a daughter, a best friend, and a fiance. She died at the tender age of 23, her life had yet to begin.

In this month of kindness, let’s remember our military.  Let’s remember the women in our military who have given all to be able to be overseas, serving our country, giving their lives for our freedom.  The holidays are coming up, now is the perfect time to put together care packages for them to arrive just in time for Christmas. If you have a loved one in the military, you’ll know exactly what to send.  If not, and you’d like to honor one of the women serving overseas, Operation Courage is Beautiful has different ways you can help send care packages.  Let’s reflect God to them as they face their fears. Let’s help them to know in Whom they should trust. As they fight for our country, let them know they are appreciated and loved, by God and us.  With God on their side, what can mere mortals do to them? May God’s presence be felt in every note, every package, every act of love our military personnel receive this holiday season. Let us not forget their sacrifice for the freedom we get to live in Christ here in America.

“The one who had contempt for instruction will pay the penalty, but the one who respects a command will be rewarded.”  Proverbs 13:13 CSB

Steve Prefontaine is someone who impacted my life, years after his death.  He was a runner for the University of Oregon from 1970-1973. He was coached by Bill Bowerman, co-founder of Nike.  I watched a movie about him over 20 years ago, which has never left me. Bowerman made Steve running shoes, using his waffle iron to make the rubber bottom.  I can vividly see the scene where he takes the rubber waffle off of the waffle maker and forms it into the bottom of a shoe. Steve had an illustrious career in running.  He competed in the 1972 Olympics, while training for the 1976 Olympics he set American records in every distance from 2,000-10,000 meters. He, along with several others, is credited with starting the “running boom” of the 1970’s.  But that isn’t why he impacted my life, he impacted my life because of his death, a scene from the movie I have never forgotten.

He had run a 5,000 meter race in a NCAA prep meet at Hayward Field in Eugene, OR.  Afterwards, he attended a party for the Finnish and American athletes that attended the meet.  A little after midnight on May 29th, 1975 he left to drive a couple of friends home in his MGB convertible. His blood alcohol level was 0.16, as I recall from the movie, people had tried to stop him from driving, but he wouldn’t listen.  Not long after he had dropped off his friends, his little convertible crossed the center line while going around a curve, jumping the curb and running into a rock wall, flipping the car. A nearby resident arrived quickly afterwards and found Steve alive, on his back, pinned under the wreck.  By the time the medics arrived he was gone. A bright future ahead, evaporated in a moment. If only he had listened when they told him not to drive.

We all are like Steve.  We all ignore valuable instruction from others.  Even more so, we ignore instructions from God. Rick Warren says, “You only believe the part of the Bible you do.”  He is not wrong, none of us obey everything in the Bible. We lie, we steal, we cheat, whether we admit it or not. White lies are still lies, taking pens from work is still stealing, and eating the cake when on a diet is still cheating.  We suffer the consequences of our sins, whatever they are. Steve suffered the consequences of his that night in the most dramatic way. Having contempt for instruction is easy when it doesn’t line up with what we want to do. Often, when God is giving us instructions, there is an element of sacrifice involved, sacrifice of self.  We have to make the decision, are we going to obey God, or are we going to obey self. Teachers are anyone in our lives that help us to grow, whether school, church or friends. A diploma isn’t necessary to be a teacher, but a heart for God and others is. Whoever has helped you grow in your walk with Christ, take the time to thank them today.

“Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end.”  Lamentations 3:22 CSB

I am not one of those people who thinks about taking meals to others in need.  I’m not quite sure why I’m like this. But I have people in my life who have this gift, and it amazes me.  My tennis partner has this gift. If she hears of someone that is sick, she takes a meal. If there is someone who is coming home off of a long trip, she takes a meal.  Whether it’s newlyweds coming home from their honeymoon, or a friend who has lost her husband, she takes a meal. A few weeks ago, we had a friend who was struggling. When I found out I immediately called to let my partner know.  She stopped in for a visit two days later to see what she needed. I’m not sure if this comes from being a mom, which she is and I’m not, or if it’s just the way God makes us. I do know, her actions of love are so immediate, so sincere, and they always bring comfort.  My goal is to be more like her. Although, I can’t cook nearly as well as she does, so there is that.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when you’re sending a meal to someone, they come from an article on Thriving Home, written by Polly.  First off, do what you love. Whatever your go to dish is, do it. Mine is lasagna, it’s one thing I make well, if I’m making a meal for someone, they’re getting lasagna.  Polly’s second tip is drop off a freezer meal, something they can have later. Also why I do lasagna, easily frozen. Polly also suggests taking something that transports easily, or a dry meal.  A dry meal is where some of the ingredients are uncooked, so there is some prep work required with them. If you don’t have time or don’t want to cook, send or drop off a gift card to a restaurant, order a pizza to be delivered or pick up carry out.  Another option is to offer to go to the grocery store for them and pick up whatever they want or need. And, there are websites where you can actually send a meal to them with a click of the mouse.

When we reach out to someone in need, we’re being God in the flesh for them.  We’re extending His mercy to them, whatever their situation may be. The Lord creates people who deliver casseroles effortlessly because they are an extension of His love.  He is faithful, and they are His servants putting His word into action. If you’re like me, and not go to casserole girl, it doesn’t mean He isn’t using you in some other way.  A person can only eat so many casseroles, but they are always in need of prayer and support in other ways. I am the go to note girl, my first inclination is to write a note letting them know I’m praying for them, God loves them and so do I.  Today though, I’m going to try and take a meal to someone in need, or order them a pizza, it could go either way. Have fun with it!

“I will both lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, Lord, make me live in safety.” Psalm 5:8 CSB

September 11th will always be a day of remembrance for a world that changed forever when four planes veered from their scheduled flight plans.  I was on vacation, sleeping in that Tuesday morning, when my sister-in-law called to tell me what had happened. I remember the fear that overcame me as I wondered what the world was coming too?  I thought of my friends who lived in New York and wondered if they were OK. By the time the plane flew into the Pentagon I thought we were at war. Then the plane crashed in Pennsylvania, led by Todd Beamer and other passengers who sacrificed their lives for those on the ground.  A nightmare unfolding before our very eyes. I remember that night as I lay in bed thinking, “The world will never be the same again.” I remember feeling afraid for what the next day would bring. But with God, we can lie down and sleep in peace, for He is our safety.

We have no idea when horrific events will happen in our lives, whether individually or as a nation.  But we do have assurance, God is with us when they happen. God was with Jean and Dan Potter that day.  Jean was on the 81st floor of the North Tower when the plane hit. She describes what came to her in that moment, “This is not your time.  We are with you. Your brother is with you.” Her brother had died 2 years prior. She describes her trip down the stairs, how she felt relief when the crowd she was with reached the 20’s and they started to see the fireman racing up the stairs past them.  She felt God pushing her on, encouraging her to keep going, and she did. Her husband Dan, a fireman at the time, was in Staten Island when the attack happened. He arrived just in time for the South Tower to collapse. Jean had passed his lieutenant, Vinny Giammona on her way out of the building as he raced up the stairs.  He was one of 60 firemen Dan knew personally who died that day. 343 Fireman died as they rushed in to save the lives of those in the building. There are no words that can do justice for what people endured that day.

Dan had to retire from firefighting as a result of the injuries he suffered.  They both had severe PTSD they had to overcome in the years that followed. Their book, “By God’s Grace: A Survivor’s Story of Love, Hope and Healing” details the events of that day in their life.  But this quote from Jean speaks volumes: “He was with all of us that day, and I don’t want people to think that we were so special because we were saved,” Jean said. “I mean it wasn’t our time, and He was with those who were passing over, and it’s just a great privilege to speak about Him.”  God only knows why some were spared and others weren’t, but He was with them all. In Him, we can find safety.

Today is a day the world needs encouragement, use social media today to help you spread it.