Honest Reflections

“Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 CSB

The Pilgrims were people who were trying to find a new way of life in an unknown land, where they could worship God the way they wanted to worship God, not the way the Church of England told them they had too.  The Pilgrims, also known as Puritans because they wanted to purify the church, wanted to return to the ways of the early church that we see in Acts 2:42-47 NIV.  This group of people from Nottinghamshire, England first moved to the Dutch Netherlands, where they could practice religious freedom.  They felt during the 11-12 years that they stayed there they were in danger of losing their English identity. The work they found there, cloth trade, carpenters, printers, was hard and laborious. With the threat of war looming over their head between the Dutch and Spain, they decided to move again.  This time to America, where they could start a farming community. I’m thankful for these brave men and women who pioneered a new way of life for all of us here in America.

On September 6, 1620, 102 passengers boarded the Mayflower and headed to America.  66 days later they landed in New England.  Only 52 people survived the first year, often 2-3 people would die a day in the midst of winter.  They found an abandoned indian community in Plymouth and moved there in December. They lived on the ship as they built their new home.  They met the Natives in the spring and quickly negotiated a way to live at peace with them. Their new relationship with the Pokanoket Wampanoa tribe gave them their first lesson in farming.  One of their tribe members moved in with the Pilgrim’s and taught them how to grow corn.  At the end of that first harvest, in the fall, they shared a three day festival of Thanksgiving with their new friends.  Today this festival is known as the First Thanksgiving.

These Pilgrim’s led the way for the faith we have today.  Their three day festival was a celebration of life, thanking God for allowing them to survive.  Our three day celebration has turned into a shopping spree for Christmas presents. In this time of Thanksgiving, let’s remember the sacrifices that were made for us to enjoy this holiday. Let’s be thankful for the food we have, which we did not have to grow, in some instances, we don’t even have to cook. Our lives today are so far from what the lives of the Pilgrims were, it’s hard for us to understand because we didn’t live it.  God moved in their hearts, He directed their paths, and He led them to the shores of America.

I’m thankful for the Pilgrims today.  What are you thankful for?

“For wherever you go, I will go, and where you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”  Ruth 1:16 CSB

God used the book of Ruth in my life to help me understand His love for me.  She is my favorite woman in the Bible. The verse above I cross stitched on a beautiful piece of linen,  The scene was an old attic with an open trunk, across the trunk lay an antique wedding dress, waiting to be worn by a new bride.  I prayed over every stitch for the husband I have today, years before I met him. We’re going to do a whole month in the book of Ruth next year (I think). 2020 is going to be focused on growing through love.  As I told Heather, I think Ruth is the greatest love story ever told. My mother used to read her story to me at bedtime as a child, that is how I met her. I’m not going to give too much of her story away today, we’ll delve into it more later.  But suffice it to say, she set an example I wanted to follow. Maybe I should say, her mother-in-law did.

Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, was from Bethlehem.  She moved with her husband and two sons to Moab when famine struck the land.  Ruth marries one of Naomi’s sons, both the father and sons die. This is where we meet these two in today’s verse.  Naomi is heading back to Bethlehem, she’s told Ruth to stay and marry someone else. Ruth’s reply is today’s verse. And Ruth lived up to her word, it wasn’t an easy thing to do.  I’ve romanticized Ruth in my head. I’ve romanticized spending all day out in the hot sun, picking up leftover wheat to eat. I’ve romanticized not having indoor plumbing. What I haven’t romanticized is the love that is so evident in the book’s chapters.  The love that Ruth demonstrates to God, to Naomi and to her future husband are goals to strive for in today’s world. She shows us how to love others, and how to love them well. She is one of the few women in the Bible who is described as “noble” (Ruth 3:11 NIV).  

Naomi’s love of God, drew Ruth into a relationship with Him.  Ruth’s love of God helped me know and love God. I’ve studied her story for years, her and Naomi both have taught me many things.  They continue too, every time I read their story.  

Today I am thankful for Ruth.  What are you thankful for?

“There was a man in the country of Uz named Job.  He was a man of complete integrity who feared God and turned away from evil.”  Job 1:1 CSB

Oftentimes, when reading the Bible, I forget that the stories contained within its pages are stories about people.  Job was written in the 6th century with some chapters added on later.  Job was a man who believed and trusted in the Lord, he refused to waver from his belief.  Even when his three friends tried to dissuade him otherwise, he trusted God. The question of undeserved suffering remains unanswered as we realize, God’s ways are not our ways.  As God asks Job, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding” (Job 38:4).  Job learns in the final chapters, our humanity can’t understand God’s sovereignty completely here on earth.

Job teaches us so much through his story.  The interaction between his three friends teaches us how to be friends to those around us, if nothing else, by not doing what they did.  Each of them, in their own way try to find explanations for why Job has lost everything, yet none of them really had the answer. No one does when tragedy strikes.  We can’t possibly begin to understand why bad things happen to good people, but we can continue to trust God in the midst of it. Job shows us how to do that in the pages of his book.  He stayed focused on God.

At the end of chapter one, after he has lost his children, his money and his health, this is what he does:  “Then Job stood up, tore his robe, and shaved his head. He fell to the ground and worshipped saying: ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life.  The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.’ Throughout all this, Job did not sin or blame God for anything” Job 1:20-22 CSB.   That is why I am thankful for Job, when I’m feeling sorry for myself, when I am having a bad day, I think of these verses.  I think of what Job did when he was in the pit of life, and then I try and do the same. I try to worship God from the valley.  I try to remember I came into this world naked and I’m leaving it naked. God gives and God takes away, He is the one in control.  Remembering that, also helps me be thankful for what I do have instead of focusing on what I don’t have. We never know how long we’re going to have the good, we need to appreciate it when we do.  Job has taught me a lot over the years, and he continues to do so. 

Today I’m thankful for Job.  What are you thankful for?

“But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.”  1 Samuel 12:24 NIV

Ron and I have a favorite restaurant we go to often.  I know the majority of the waiters and waitress there.  I try hard to remember all of their names and keep up with their lives.  They are a wonderful group of people who are always there for us on our good days and our bad days. This restaurant is the place we go when we are dealing with life events, good or bad.  When I lost my job, we went there. When I finished my first semester, we went there. These people are the ones who share in those moments with us. And we love them. I was a server when I worked my way through college.  Not everyone can be a waiter or waitress, my husband for one. He trained for one day and knew he did not have what it takes to do the job. And he doesn’t, because he doesn’t multitask well. Servers have to be able to multitask.

Jesus was the consummate servant, He did it all.  He healed the bleeding woman on the way to save Jarius’ daughter (Luke 8:43-48 CSB).  He saved the woman from being stoned in the middle of a sermon (John 8:2-11 NIV).  He healed the demon possessed man in the midst of his travels (Mark 5:1-20).  Servants have to be interruptible, they have to anticipate the needs of those they are serving, and then meet those needs.  No one did this better than Jesus. He knew what mattered most, people.

I’m in a very busy season at this point in time.  My work load for school is double what it normally is, so I’ve been studying a lot.  Sometimes I have to put the “Do Not Disturb” on my phone because the pings from emails, texts, messenger, etc. drives me crazy.  But then I remember Jesus’ example of being interruptible, of multitasking, of serving. No study is more important than my loved ones.  When Ron unexpectedly comes home for a few minutes during the day, I stop what I am doing to spend those few minutes with him. Those kind of moments are the unexpected blessings of our days we don’t want to miss.  Servants hearts think about the other person, they don’t miss those moments. I’m trying to develop my servants heart, my friends that do it so naturally help me do it better.  

As I watch my waiter and waitress friends buzz around the restaurant, meeting needs effortlessly, it inspires me to do better.  I think of them when I have the opportunity to go the extra mile for my husband, like putting away his laundry instead of leaving it for him to do.  Or when I can drop an unexpected gift off to a friend who’s having a bad day. Servants help me get outside of myself and think of others. They help me remember, it’s not about my wants, but theirs.  

Today I’m thankful for servants.  What are you thankful for?

“The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom; his tongue speaks what is just.”  Psalm 37:30 CSB

I have a Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) buddy, her name is Caroline.  Caroline and I have been buddies for awhile. We volunteered together for years, after our paths parted ways from volunteering, God brought us back together through BSF.  I didn’t know she was a member when I joined. Now, each week, we sit together, silently taking notes from the speaker. We have our designated pew where we are to meet each week.  Sitting beside her is a highlight of my week. We have about five minutes at the end of the lecture to give highlights of our lives, then we go our separate ways again until next time.  Caroline is a wise woman who I have learned much from just by sitting beside her.

She is a tiny woman with the strength of David.  Her strength is a quiet strength. I have watched her navigate life for the past 8 years.  Her strength comes from the Lord. As I sit beside her and see how diligently she takes notes, how she listens on the edge of her seat for what God is telling her through the message, it is truly inspiring. I love watching someone chase after God as diligently as she does, she spurs me on with her actions.  The stability Caroline helps me find in my faith comes from her steadfastness in the face of life issues. I’ve realized from her, it’s not the words you say, it’s the fact that you show up. I’ve watched Caroline go to the hospital with struggling families, sit watch by the bedside, bring the meals, pray over them.  I’ve watched her serve endlessly for her church, meeting any need she can. She keeps showing up, she looks for what God is doing, then she joins Him in His work. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Caroline illustrates how important it is not to just know God’s word, but apply it.  She searches the Scripture for what He has for her, then she puts it into practice in her life.  She is a buddy who illustrates this to me, time and time again. But it is a lifelong journey, we never arrive, Caroline knows this.  She knows each day is a new day with new challenges. She knows God’s mercies are fresh each morning. She knows who her best buddy is, she keeps in close contact with Him.  She shows others how to do the same, just like she has shown me.

Today I’m thankful for buddies.  What are you thankful for?

“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see if they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” 1 John 4:1 CSB

I am thankful for the people in my life who have forced me to set boundaries.  These are the people in our lives who push our buttons, the ones who have a knack for ruining our day.  But they can only ruin our day if we let them. These are the people we have to establish strong boundaries with in our relationships because otherwise they will steam roll our lives.  The pushy neighbor who doesn’t understand just because you’re at home means they can come over, has to be told you love them, but you need some space. The gum cracking office mate who doesn’t understand how annoying it is, you have to negotiate quietness with each day.  The family member who cares only about themselves has to be reminded, your life matters too. All of these people give us the opportunity to set healthy boundaries in our life.

An interesting article, 5 Rules for Setting Boundaries in our lives, gives us Biblical insight into how to do it.  First, we reap what we sow (Gal. 6:7-8 NIV).  Often we don’t set boundaries because we think we’re helping the person by protecting them from the consequences of their actions.  However, the only way they will grow is if we let them fall. Secondly, actions are what cause people to overstep boundaries. We judge actions, not people, their actions will tell whether they understand our boundaries (John 3:21 NIV).  Next, if we’re following the Scriptures we don’t have to feel sorry for setting boundaries (2 Cor. 7:9 NIV).  When implement God’s principles into our lives, some people won’t understand those changes, especially if they’re not following God.  We don’t have to feel sorry for them not understanding, instead we can pray that one day they will understand. We can pray one day they will make the same changes in their life for the same reasons we made the changes in ours.  Fourth, healthy boundaries support healthy marriages (Eph. 4:2-3).  We have to protect our marriages by spending time with our spouse, working on our relationship, putting it above all others except God.  We have to say no to girls night out so we can say yes to date night in. And lastly, if we haven’t set clear boundaries with people in our lives, we can’t enforce them (Deut. 29:29 NIV).  If you don’t tell people what your boundaries are, you can’t expect them to respect them.  You have to communicate clearly what the line is that can’t be crossed, it’s the only way they will know not to cross it.

If we didn’t have challenging people in our lives, we wouldn’t learn how to set boundaries.  When we learn how to set boundaries, we grow as individuals. We learn to communicate better. We begin to become more self aware as we understand what our needs are and how to set up appropriate boundaries.  We learn to say no to people we need to say no too. Boundaries help us live healthier, fuller lives, as God intended (John 10:10 NIV).

Today I’m thankful for boundaries.  What are you thankful for?

“But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8 CSB

At the beginning of this section of Scripture in my Bible, it says: “The Support of Widows,” God is telling us how to take care of family.  I was blessed with four brothers, men who know how to do this well. All of them have helped take care of me over my lifetime, I would not have the life I have if it wasn’t for them.  My mother was a widow, they took care of her well, so well she never remarried. My brother Butch gave me vision. He went to college first, when no one else in our family had, he gave me vision for my life.  My brother Dutch gave me fatherly love. When my Dad died and Mom was at wit’s end with my poor behavior, Dutch took me into his home and gave me another chance at life. My brother Matt gave me strength. Our relationship has sharpened me more than any other, because we are so alike.  We’ve wrestled with each other to get to maturity, and through it became friends. My brother Ron gave me faith. His journey with God started before mine, I followed him back to Jesus when my life was in a pit. I am thankful for these men who have helped shape my life.

Siblings do shape our lives, they are among the elite who knows you better than anyone else.  They know your shortcomings and love to remind you of them. The challenge of loving siblings will grow our love muscles better than most.  In everyone’s life, hopefully, there comes a point where you realize you’re not a kid anymore. You can’t get away with doing stupid things and blame it on not knowing.  Siblings are the ones who help you realize it. They do this by reminding you of your past mistakes, helping you learn from those mistakes so you can do better next time.  Unfortunately, we may not take their input well, after all, they are our siblings. But maybe we should. 

I’m finally beginning to understand some of the things my brothers have been trying to tell me.  Especially Matt, he was the one whose input I didn’t want but he’s the one I should have been listening too.  Instead of constantly fighting with him, I should have spent time listening to what he was trying to tell me. Now I’m beginning to understand, now I’m realizing, he wasn’t trying to keep me from having fun, he was protecting me.  The same thing God does for us when He tells us not to do things like lie, steal and cheat. He doesn’t tell us these things because He doesn’t want us to have fun, He tells us these things so we won’t hurt ourselves. I’m thankful for brothers because God used them to grow me closer to Him.

Today I’m thankful for brothers.  What are you thankful for?

“A JOYFUL HEART IS GOOD MEDICINE…”  PROVERBS 17:22a CSB

My friend Kelly always makes me laugh.  A native of Ohio, she has a delivery when she makes a point that brings a smile to my face.  Her view of life is honest and real. I always learn something new from her, being 10 years younger than me, she’s more hip than I am.  She always has something new for me to learn. We need friends in our lives who make us laugh, deep, belly roll laughs. Laughter is good medicine.  Laughter is the only way we can exercise our liver. Based on an article from “Green Your Life,” our liver is the second largest organ in our body, performing over 500 functions.  The article gives 10 ways we can take care of our liver, laughter is one of them. According to the article, “A good hearty laugh translates into liver health by increasing circulation and improving the flow of bile.” God created our livers, and He knows what is best for them, laughter.

In “The Laughter of Jesus” by Robert Lavaude, he explores the topic of Jesus and laughter.  The article concludes humor is found in God’s nature, we don’t see it because the Bible doesn’t come complete with emoticons.  In other words, we’re not given clues what Jesus is saying is funny because there aren’t exclamation points and smiley faces to tell us so.  He uses an example of reading scripture out loud, not realizing his seven year old son was listening until he heard his son laugh. When he asked him what was funny, he said the Scripture.  The author had been reading Matthew 7:3-5 which talks about taking the plank out of your own eye, instead of the speck out of someone else’s.  To a 7 year old boy, that sounded funny, and he’s not wrong. Visualizing a plank in our eye’s does have humor attached to it, but we don’t think of it that way.  Maybe because we don’t have the capability of laughing at ourselves. We know, if we’re focused on the speck, and missing the plank, we’re the ones who need work, not whoever we’re judging.  

Kelly has the ability to laugh at herself, which is why she makes me laugh.  She also has taught me how to laugh at myself, which makes life much more enjoyable.  Laughter is vital to our health. We need it for our liver, we need it for our sanity, we need it for our soul.  A few weeks ago we were at dinner with friends, at the end of the evening we stood outside the restaurant enjoying a good laugh.  All four of us were bent over in laughter, that moment has made me smile often in the weeks since. Laughter stays with us, laughter can bring a smile to your face weeks later when you remember the moment.  Laughter is a sign of a joyful heart, which is good medicine for our soul.

Today I’m thankful for laughter.  What are you thankful for?

“Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, since he who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23 CSB

Everyone needs a friend who is as faithful as my friend Heather.  She is my phone friend, she is the only person in my life I consistently talk to on the phone throughout the week.  As a Mom of 3, 2 teens and a preteen, finding time to connect can be difficult. But Heather does it. I always know to take her calls, because that means she has a moment she can talk.  Heather calls me when she is traveling between jobs for work. Sometimes those calls will come at 7:30 in the morning, sometimes noon, other times 6:00 at night. If she’s not driving for work, she’s driving her kids from one activity to another.  And she is faithful. She has never forgotten me, never given up on me, always calls. Our friendship spans almost 2 decades, and her faithfulness has kept it going.

Heather is faithful because she keeps calling.  She keeps checking in on me to make sure I’m doing ok.  For the longest time I didn’t call Heather, I was afraid to bother her because she lives such a hectic life.  It has only been in the last few years Heather has convinced me I can call her whenever I want. She promises me I’m not bothering her, if she’s in a meeting, she won’t answer.  Heather has pursued our friendship diligently, she is faithful. Heather does what Jesus does, she keeps showing up, time after time. In the same way Jesus never gives up on people, neither does Heather.  When we first met she was working in a food bank, feeding the homeless. I can still see her standing at the table, handing out bread, just like Jesus. And just like Jesus, I can call her anytime.  

Jesus is even more faithful than Heather.  He is waiting on us to turn to Him, to give Him our burdens so He can help us carry our load (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV).  Just like when I share my heart with Heather, Jesus is waiting for us to share our hearts with Him.  He already knows what is going on in our lives, He’s just waiting for us to include Him in them. And He keeps our secrets, just like Heather keeps mine.  When we confess our sins to Him, He doesn’t put them on the front page of the newspaper, He simply forgives us. He created us to be who we are, to fulfill each of our own purposes.  He loves us, unconditionally, warts and all. Jesus is truly our most faithful friend.

I’m thankful for faithfulness today.  What are you thankful for?

“Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord supports him with his hand.” Psalm 37:24 CSB

Today, I’m thankful for my friend Pat. Our friendship is a Divine Appointment from heaven that was fulfilled.  Pat lives in Williamsburg, VA, but we met in Mt. Pleasant, SC, what would appear to be randomly, but we know it wasn’t.  We had a mutual friend who had been trying to introduce us but it never happened, she moved to SC, so we thought that was the end of that.  But it was only the beginning. Unbeknownst to either Pat or I, we both visited our friend in SC over the same weekend, that is how we met. By the time we left that night we had decided to do a summer Bible study together and the rest is history.  God wanted us to meet,and God has held us up over the past 13 years.

Pat and I’s faith journey together has been challenging.  Her daughter’s illness over the past 8 years has tested us like nothing else. But God has carried us through it. There have been so many times in this journey when all hope seems to be gone, but then God raises beauty from ashes and resurrects life (Isaiah 61:3 NIV).  God gives new life where there is none.  When doctors in one hospital said they could do no more, new life would be found in another hospital, with other doctors.  New hope would be found. God has been intimately involved in our days, even if we couldn’t see it. Sheila Walsh, gifted speaker says it this way: “Some of God’s greatest gifts to us are wrapped in boxes that cause our hands to bleed when we open them.”  There is no doubt our hands have bled with some of the gifts that have been received from God, but it’s worth it.

None of us know the path God will call us to walk.  We often forget, we don’t need to know the whole story to read the first page.  We don’t need to know the entire journey to take the first step. We just have to depend on God to get us there.  We wouldn’t get out of bed if we knew the whole story, it would be too overwhelming. But if we take it day by day, we can get through anything.  Pat and I have learned, life is best lived day by day, trusting God to guide us through it, His hand holding us up.

I’m thankful for God’s hand.  What are you thankful for?