Honest Reflections

4 minute read

“Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.” (Proverbs 28:14 NIV)

Trembling before God keeps you out of trouble.

“Fear of God” was a term my siblings and I often heard growing up.  Usually, the phrase had something to do with punishment for some childish mishap.  My parents were devout Christ-followers, their actions speaking louder than their words.   Only in the last few years have I realized the depth of their convictions.   Because of them, I tremble before God, more concerned about His consequences than man’s.

We tremble before God by recognizing His Sovereignty.  When we understand He is truly in control, we can trust fall into His arms, no matter what the situation.  No one knows what the future holds, no matter what they say.  What we do know is God’s commands found for us in His word—respecting God in the utmost means obeying Him, no matter what.

Start with truth.

Facing the truth of our lives causes trembling.  Admitting our sinful nature, laying it before God’s feet, is not easy.  We deceive ourselves more than we deceive anyone else. Confessing to God can feel like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar.  Fear of His punishment causes us to tremble.  But God’s response is never what we think:

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” (Ephesians 2:8 NIV)

God meets our sin with His grace.  As we lay our misdeeds at His feet, He folds us in His arms with love.  Does that mean you won’t suffer consequences?  No, actions still have effects.  If you spend too much money, you have to pay it back.  Lying is always exposed.  Thieves eventually get caught. Hardened hearts ignore what God says; trouble always follows—trembling before God means avoiding negative consequences.

God always sheds His truth.  What is unseen becomes seen.  He knows all.

Hardened hearts cause disunity.  God reminded me of that when I was Groups Coordinator at a local church, dealing with an issue in one group.  As I searched for the truth, I found the lie.  Another staff member counseled the leader to lie to solve the problem.  But God never commanded us to lie, in all things we are, to tell the truth:

“God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (John 4:24 NIV)

Trembling before God means telling the truth.  The lying in this situation created unnecessary drama. As a result of the lie, the group split.  People were hurt, friendships ended. 

Fear God’s consequences more than man’s.  When we tremble before God,  He leads us to peace with man.

Question of the Day:

Are you more concerned about God’s ways or man’s ways?

Further Reading:Daniel 1:1-2:23 NIV, 1 Peter 3:8-4:6 NIV, Psalm 119:65-80 NIV, Proverbs 28:14 NIV

4 minute read

 “Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.” (1 Peter 2:17 NIV)

Everyone must respect authority.

Submission to people in power is something we all must do.  Whether your boss or the President, all of us are accountable to someone.  Spouses are responsible to each other; children answer to parents, students are subject to teachers, the list is endless.  We are to show proper respect to everyone.

Recently, I started back to hot yoga after a two-year break.  Things have changed because of COVID.  Now, plastic barriers are between each student.  At the end of class, we’re supposed to wipe down the partitions with the provided paper towels and cleaner.  I wasn’t aware we were to do this in my first class, so I didn’t.  I noticed another student cleaning his area as I was leaving.  I find this requirement ridiculous.  The room temperature is over 100 degrees; we don’t touch the walls; to me, this is stupid.  However, I must respect the establishment’s authority; therefore, I wipe down the walls after every class.

Submission occurs at all levels.

Whether minor or significant, submission comes at all levels.  Practicing obedience is done in the small things.   Following God daily helps us submit to His precepts.  Jesus set the example for us:

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35 NIV)

Making time to spend with God daily is part of our accountability to Him.  Jesus prioritized alone time with God; we should do the same.  We show respect when we are present with Him, understanding; He’s the one in control.  Each day, our relationship with God grows deeper.  No matter whether five minutes or five hours, God uses it in our lives to propel us forward.

“Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.” (Galatians 1:10 NIV)

People misunderstand why, as Christ-follower’s we are to submit.  We don’t respect authority to gain people’s approval; we do it because that’s what God calls us to do.  Accepting His sovereignty helps us accept other’s rule in our lives.  

Submission spurs growth. 

God uses the authority in our lives to remind us, the world doesn’t revolve around us.  We are part of a broader community; therefore, we must respect those in it.  Everyone has value and purpose.  We reflect God’s love in our obedience to Him, then others.  

If you’re struggling with submission to authority, seek God first.  He’ll help you submit.

Question of the Day:

Who are you having trouble submitting too?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 47:1-48:35 NIV,  1 Peter 2:11-3:7 NIV, Psalm 119:49-64 NIV, Proverbs 28:12-13 NIV

4 minute read

“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.” (1 Peter 1:22 NIV)

Obedience purifies your heart.

We need Jesus because we all need a Savior.  Someone we can pour out our deepest sins, knowing His response is love.  Jesus does that for us the moment we first believe.  But the journey doesn’t end at that point; it’s just beginning.  Each day we must confess our daily sins.  As you grow closer to God, the more that truth becomes a reality.  As we purify our hearts in confession, He fills it with His love.

For instance, yesterday, my lists of sins are long—irritation with husband, anger at interruptions, disappointment with friends.   I didn’t golf yesterday, but if I did, I might have to confess lying for not counting the penalty shot when I hit the ball into the water.  More than likely, I would also need to disclose something about cursing.  As I dive deeper with God, my spirit becomes more sensitive to my sins.

Sensitivity quickens obedience.

When an offense occurs, the quicker you recognize it, the better.  Often, we don’t even know we’ve offended someone.  As a District Manager, I was responsible for 17 retail stores.  All of my managers were older than the young kid, fresh out of college; now they’re boss.  I had no clue what I was doing, but I did my best.   One phone conversation I don’t remember angered one of my best managers.  For two months, she stewed on my words, all the while I was oblivious.  When I finally visited her store, I found out the truth, at the same time, she gave me her two-week notice.  Had I realized my faux pas, I would have corrected it.  You can’t fix what you don’t know.

If I was seeking God diligently during those days, His Spirit is how He’d prompt me.  His light would illuminate the manager’s change in behavior.  I didn’t notice her lack of correspondence, short phone conversations, or a different tone. If I had, I would have known I had a problem.  Recognizing the problem is the first step to resolving the issue.  Sensitivity to the Spirit helps with recognition.   

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” (Colossians 3:12-13 NIV)

If our actions aren’t compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, patient, and forgiving, we aren’t obedient.  None of us do any of these things all of the time.  God’s Spirit is what makes the difference.  When He prompts, confess.  As you remove the sin, you make way for His love.  His purifying passion for you creates a deep love for all.

Question of the Day:

How sensitive are you to God’s Spirit?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 45:13-46:24 NIV, 1 Peter 1:13-2:10 NIV, Psalm 119:33-48 NIV,  Proverbs 28:11 NIV

4 minute read

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” (1 Petter 1:6 NIV)

Grief is universal.

All of us are grieving someone, something, someplace.  Missing something you can never have back again is how I define grief.  Everyone experiences loss.  As I get older, I understand more the loss of innocence.  Coaching children reminds me of how free I once was.  Watching them have fun helps bring fun back into my life.   Life’s problems replace our freedom.  We lose our unwavering trust for God’s provision we once had.   If we’re not careful, we get stuck in our grief.

Grieving is highly personal.  How someone responds to grief is how someone responds.  Allowing people the opportunity to work through their pain is pivotal.  As long as they aren’t doing any harm to themselves, give them space to mourn.  Some hurts take longer than others.  Time varies with each person, give it to them.  Just like Forrest Gump, eventually, they’ll stop running and re-engage with life. 

Without love, grief wouldn’t exist.

If we didn’t love people, places, and things, we wouldn’t grieve them.  Pet owners know this without a doubt.  Whatever your pet of choice, the love you receive from it is unconditional.  My two dogs, always happy to see me.  Wherever I go, they go.  When I feel blue, they cheer me up.  But their life spans are shorter than ours.  Very few live longer than humans.  As a result, our first experience with death is often of a pet.  

One of my most heart-wrenching pet stories involves a parakeet.  My friend’s kids were playing with the bird out of the cage.  A pot of water was boiling; the bird flew into it.  Birds, in a state of emotion, will accidentally perch or fly into boiling water.  The kids learned their first lesson, at a young age, about death.  If they hadn’t loved their pet so immensely, they wouldn’t hurt so profoundly.  Pain is part of the relationship process.  Better to experience the suffering than never loving.

“This is Us” is one of my favorite shows.  In a recent episode, one of the main characters, Kate, receives sad news.  As her brother tries to comfort her, her response surprised me. “No, I need to sit with these emotions for a while.”  I’m not sure if that’s exactly how she said the words, but that was the gist of the message.  We have to sit with our emotions for a moment, but then we have to stand back up.  Jesus will help, just turn to Him.

Allow yourself and others to grieve.  Rejoice for the love you had.  The deeper the passion, the more profound the grief.

Question of the Day:

What are you grieving today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 44:1-45:12 NIV, 1 Peter 1:1-12 NIV, Psalm 119:17-32 NIV, Proverbs 28:8-10 NIV

4 minute read

“My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.”  (James 5:19-20 NIV)

We all wander.

Wandering is to “walk or move in a leisurely, casual or aimless way.”  If you ever go shopping with me, I’m a wanderer.  My husband is learning to accept this fact.  One moment I’m beside him, the next he can’t find me.  I’m not consciously looking when I meander around the store; I’m exploring.  Typically what happens, I see something that interests me, then something else, and something else.  My problem, I don’t realize how far I’ve strayed from my starting point, my husband.  He helps me turnaround when he finds me and waits patiently for me.  

We wander away from God, the same way I walk away from my husband, unintentionally. Something else captures our attention; we slowly drift away from our first love.  Everyone drifts.  We notice other people’s meanderings, even though we don’t recognize our own.  Just like my husband helps me turnaround, we can help others do the same.  Gentle actions of love can help people find their way home.

Turnaround with love.

Our best response to wandering is love.  After several years of marriage, my husband accepts my wandering.  Instead of yelling at me, he gets the look.  When I see it, I know I’ve wandered.  His gaze isn’t one of anger; it’s one of love.  His annoyance and acceptance both evident on his face.  Typically, he just asks, “Did you find anything?”  Then he smiles with arms wide open as he embraces me back into his arms.

God does the same with us.  He knows we are going to drift away.  Our wanderings are what make us realize God’s goodness. The difference is, no matter where we go, God is with us.  We never truly leave His sight because He doesn’t leave us.  Even though our movements are directionless, His eyes follow all of them. When we get too far, He sends someone to nudge us in the right direction.

Sometimes we need the nudge; other times, we’re the nudger.

Nudging, someone who has drifted, requires patience and love.  No one responds well to force; everyone reacts well to grace.

My husband doesn’t scold me for wandering. He accepts God made me this way; I will always meander.  Grace is apparent in the acceptance.  Instead of changing me, he protects me as I drift. He keeps a watchful eye when it’s time, nudging me back on track.

Wandering happens to everyone. Don’t worry, God knows everywhere you go.

Question of the Day:

Have you wandered away from your first love, God?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 42-43 NIV, James 5 NIV, Psalm 119:1-16 NIV, Proverbs 28:6-7 NIV

4 minute read

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1 NIV)

Our biggest fights are with ourselves.

Internal conflict is a universal struggle.  Nothing illuminates the ultimate acceptance of mortality more than COVID.  No one likes to think about death, but this virus makes us all think about it.  Accepting the fact, when it’s your time, it’s your time is hard.  But just because the realization is difficult doesn’t make it any less real.  Our battle is in the acceptance of the truth.

A few weeks ago, one of my best friends and I were discussing death.  As I shared my struggle with her, she confirmed the truth.  “When it’s your time, it’s your time.”  I told her I know; her next words are what I’ve thought about since.  “But you don’t believe me.”  She was right; I didn’t believe her.  Why don’t I believe her?  At this point, my answer is: “Because I don’t want to.”  I don’t want to accept the truth.  Instead, I want to change the answer, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t.

Accepting truth isn’t admitting defeat.

Our internal struggles diminish as we learn to accept God’s truth.  Lessening our inner battles allows us to find peace.  Finding peace isn’t losing the fight; it’s gaining victory in God.  As we lean into His word more, we trust His ways.  Acknowledging God has a plan for our lives, and it’s better than any we could devise, gives Him control.

People fear COVID because they fear death.  Trusting God means understanding; He overcame death.  Jesus’s actions on the cross are what gives us eternal life.  Eternity is here; we’re already in it.  When we die, our physical bodies may no longer breathe, but our Spirit is with God.  Our eternity began the moment we accepted Christ into our lives.  If God calls us home, we’re just changing addresses.  Eventually, we’re all together again. But when it’s your time to move, it’s your time to move:

“Help us to remember that our days are numbered, and help us to interpret our lives correctly. Set your wisdom deeply in our hearts so that we may accept your correction.” (Psalm 90:12 TPT)

COVID reminds us of our limitations.  Instead of living in fear, embrace today.  Remember Paul’s words:

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21 NIV)

Our stay on earth is pre-determined by God.  While we are here, He has a purpose for us.  We are to live life to the fullest (John 10:10 NIV).  When we achieve our goal, He calls us home.  The mortality rate is 100% on earth, eternal life 100% in heaven.

Stop quarreling internally.  Accept God’s truth.  Live life to the fullest.

Question of the Day:

What truth do you need to accept today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 40:28-41:26 NIV, James 4 NIV, Psalm 118:19-29 NIV, Proverbs 28:3-5 NIV

4 minute read

“You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.” (James 2:22 NIV)

Faith causes action.

No matter how hard you try, you can’t work your way into heaven.  Time and again, I’ve heard people say, “I’m a good person; isn’t that what matters most?”  The truth is, none of us are good people.   If you’re honest, sometimes the beneficial things we do for others benefit us more than they do them.  All of us, at some time, have manipulated people.  Did you ever tell your mom how pretty she looked (or some other compliment) so that you could get what you want?  Or prepare a fancy meal for your spouse to soften him up for some request you have.   Maybe, you dropped off baked goods to a friend, hoping for a favor in return.  We all have done nice things to meet our ends; none of those actions produces faith.

When we experience the freedom that comes from obedience to God, our faith causes us to produce good works.  Because I have faith in God, I read His word.  Studying His word, then applying it to my life, causes me to do something.  I take risks I would never take because I have faith, no matter what, God loves me.  Even if I bumble and fall or people reject me, God doesn’t abandon me.  He takes my messes and makes them into His victories.  He will do the same for you.

Faith opens pickle jars.

Last week, during the prayer group, we discussed this question.  “Would you ask the Hulk to open a pickle jar?”  Theoretically, you wouldn’t.  But sometimes, I do need the Hulk to do the small things because, on my own, I can’t.  Some days, the hardest thing to do is get out of bed.  Only with the strength of the Hulk can I take the next step.  And the Hulk, God, always shows up.

“And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” (Psalm 50:15 NIV)

Faith in God gives us the strength to open the pickle jar.  Because we believe in a bigger God than any problem we will face, we can do the hard stuff.  Forgiving someone who hurt us profoundly requires action.  God gives us the ability to forgive because He first forgave us.  When we have faith, God forgives us; we forgive others.  Without faith, we stay stuck in the offense, unable to move forward.   Forgiveness frees us more than the offender.  Letting go is taking the next step to a healthier tomorrow.

Christ-followers follow Jesus because of faith.  We do what Jesus did because of faith.  Belief comes before action.

Question of the Day:

How has your faith prompted you into action?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 39:1-40:27 NIV, James 2:18-25 NIV, Psalm 118:1-18 NIV, Proverbs 28:2 NIV

4 minute read

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV)

Life change happens when we are quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Nothing will change your life faster than closing your mouth and listening.  Truly hearing what someone else says requires skill.   You cannot talk and listen to someone at the same time.  Shut your mouth, tune in your ears, and pay attention.  Stop assuming you know what they are going to say because you don’t.  After they stop speaking, repeat back to them what they said, ensure you understood them.  If not saying anything is difficult for you, put your hand over your mouth to help keep it closed.  Do whatever it takes to listen quickly, speak, and anger slowly.

Listen more, speak less.

You can’t regret what you don’t say.  If God wants something spoken and you don’t say it, He’ll give you another chance.  Err on the side of caution when using words.  Less is more.  Don’t finish people’s sentences for them; allow them the privilege of speaking for themselves.  Even though you think you know everything, you don’t.  Agreement isn’t necessary.  Relationships that don’t see eye to eye on everything are possible.  Learning to love those who are different is part of life.

Sometimes, we don’t let others speak because we are afraid of what they will say.  God’s love drives out fear:

“We know the love that God has for us, and we trust that love . . . because God’s perfect love drives out fear.”  (1 John 4:16,18 NCV)

Trust God’s love for you no matter what the situation.  Just because a conversation is difficult doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.  No matter how uncomfortable the words, God’s love stands strong.  Verbalizing hard emotions allows healing to begin.  Sometimes, we’ve caused the pain with our actions; listening to that feedback hurts.  But you can listen, not speak and not get angry.  Instead, let God’s love guide your response.  Take responsibility for your part in the pain, then work towards a healthy resolution.

Darrin Patrick, ex-lead pastor of Journey Church and chaplain for the St. Louis Cardinals, lost his position because he abused his power.  Part of his restoration process was listening to the people he hurt.  For two days, Darrin sat and said nothing as person after person described the pain caused by his words and actions.  Not until the second day did he realize the problem was him.  Only when he stopped talking and started listening did he learn the lesson.

Quick to listen.  Slow to speak.  Slow to anger.  Let these things change your life.

Question of the Day:

What of these three things are most challenging for you?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 37-38 NIV, James 1:19-2:17 NIV, Psalm 117:1-2 NIV, Proverbs 28:1 NIV

4 minute read

“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;” (Proverbs 27:23 NIV)

People are the flock.

Whoever surrounds you in your daily life, that’s your flock.   The human race contains all people of all skin colors, all ethnicities, all types.  All of us are part of God’s children.  When Jesus died for the sins of the world, He meant everyone.  Therefore, whoever is in your circle, is part of your flock. Whether they choose God, that’s a different topic.

The annoying co-worker, part of your flock.  Your family member who is like nails on a chalkboard to you, part of the herd.  Applying God’s word to these relationships is hard work.  Knowing the condition of those who annoy us helps us love them.  Sometimes, those conditions are issues that are, as my husband says, above our pay grade.

Mental illness needs professional help.

As I’ve grown in Christ, I’ve learned about mental illness, including my own.  Each of us, in some way, has issues invisible to the naked eye.  Lies we internalize and believe aren’t visible to people.  Our perspectives skew, depending on the fallacies.  Some issues are from situations.  I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression ever since my mother and nephew died.  Some days are harder than others for me.  Few people see us at our lowest, but we all are down at times.  Gratefully, God is a God of healing; in Him, I’ve overcome.  God used counseling to help me find victory.

Therapy has a bad rap.  People misunderstand a counselors purpose.  My counselor helped me understand the behaviors and thoughts that were hindering my life.  She helped me discern between my problems and my predicaments.  Problems are solvable; predicaments are not.  Therefore, solve the problems, cope with the predicaments.  Somethings I needed to solve, somethings I learned to manage.

When you see a friend in pain, recognize your limits.  Understand you are not their Savior; Jesus is.  Instead, gently point them to someone who can help them.  Sometimes, the best help you can give someone is getting them into counseling.  Talking to someone objective about your life allows a deeper level of honesty.  Knowing what is said in those sessions truly stays in those sessions develops trust.  We all have crazy thoughts in our head; verbalizing them to someone who won’t judge us is liberation from them.  They have a perspective no one else has.

In June of 2014, my car was T-boned by a taxi in Fairfax, VA.  Not until I entered counseling five years later did I understand that day’s impact on my life.  Anxiety had taken root that day, trying to steal my joy.  Only with counseling did I recognize this fact.

Know the condition of your flock.  Know your limits so you can help them best.

Question of the Day:

How’s your flock doing today?

Further Reading: Ezekiel 35-36 NIV, James 1:1-18 NIV, Psalm 116:1-19 NIV, Proverbs 27:23-27 NIV

4 minute read

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2 NIV)

Angels are amongst us.

One angel I met was a gentleman in college.  On my commute home from class one day, I accidentally ran into his car.  I have never forgotten his kindness.  He immediately recognized I was a broke college student.  Even though the accident was my fault, he didn’t charge me with the crime.  His car damaged more than mine, yet he didn’t make me pay.  Instead, he showed me kindness and let me go.  To this day, I do not know his name.  Sometimes I wonder if God sent him to save me from a worse accident.  Someone needed to slow me down in those days, that angel did.  

Angels exist.

God created angels.  Zondervan’s analysis of angels is worth reading.  Over 280 times, the word “angel” appears in the Bible.  According to today’s verse, we may not recognize them.  Abraham, who God used to start the Jewish nation, recognized angels when he saw them.

“Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.” (Genesis 18:2 NIV)

Abraham’s first action is to offer them hospitality:

“Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.” (Genesis 18:4-6 NIV)

Lead with love.  No matter who God places before you, care for them.  If they need food, feed them; clothing, clothe them; acceptance, accept them.  Everyone is looking for connections in today’s world.  The internet creates a form of contact, but nothing like face-to-face experiences.  

God made us in His image:

“Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image” (Genesis 1:26 NIV)

Created in God’s image, we have great value and purpose.  God’s light shines through our lives as we apply His word to them.  Our mission is clear: love God, love others.  Walking in obedience means leading with love so reflect God’s radiance to the world around us.  Showing hospitality to strangers is another way to accomplish the goal.  When we do, we just might hear from God through an angel:

“Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” (Genesis 18:10 NIV)

Angels are messengers of God.  Abraham learned of his destiny through the strangers God sent to him.  

Show hospitality to strangers.  Angels exist.  You never know when you will meet one or what they will say.

Question of the Day:

Who can you show hospitality to today?

Further Reading:Ezekiel 33-34 NIV, Hebrews 13:1-25 NIV, Psalm 115 NIV, Proverbs 27:21-22 NIV