Two-minute read.
“What seems to be the problem here?”
As a store manager, I handled all the conflicts that arose in my shop. Typically, the conflict involved how the sales associate dealt with a situation. They might not have the answer to the customer’s question, or the guest might have felt disrespected or unheard. Rarely did the problem arise from a product issue; instead, it came from a people issue. Easily offended customers can always find something to cause a ruckus over.
Lowering my voice and speaking in a calm, quiet tone made the customer focus and listen, immediately de-escalating the issue. Usually, within minutes, we could find a solution to their complaint and part ways amicably. However, if I came in guns-a-blazing, accusing the customer of whatever, that did no one any good and only caused tempers to flare. How we handle conflict determines how quickly we can work through it.
Learning to remain calm and give a gentle answer deflects anger. Like a fire, if we don’t feed it, the flames die. But the more fuel we provide the flames, the longer the fire will burn. We can decide whether to keep the argument going or diffuse it by stopping the feeding. One study found that 45% of disinformation and argumentative comments on social media came from bots, computers programmed to inflame and lie to people, keeping the fire going and causing chaos.[1]
Gentle answers diffuse negative emotions and help resolve conflict. As Christ’s followers, we should share peace, not strife. Jesus revolutionized the world, but He did so with love and compassion, not anger and hatred. We will have conflict in life, as the Savior did, and, like Him, we have a choice about how we handle it. Responding with love will diffuse the situation, while letting anger take control only makes it worse.
Typically, when someone wants to argue, it becomes evident quickly. Like a customer looking for a discount by causing a conflict, we can choose to engage or defer. Before we respond, we must decide how we want the conversation to go. I’ve learned that most arguments don’t deserve the energy it takes to fuel them. Finding a peaceful compromise takes less energy and honors the Savior by restoring the relationship. Lowering our voices and speaking gently will help resolve conflicts quickly and bring peace to those involved.
Journal Questions:
When has responding with harsh words caused you more problems?
In what ways can you give a gentle answer during conflicts?
How can you spread peace today?
Friendship Application:
Resolve to speak with gentle words and create peaceful relationships.
[1] https://www.kare11.com/article/news/local/kare11-extras/to-catch-a-bot-social-medias-growing-problem-with-aritificial-intelligence/89-d2dcdcb9-59cd-4300-9d2e-ae1aefe3a7ce#:~:text=Their%20report%20claimed%2045%25%20of%20them%20were,fake%20accounts%20that%20were%20pushing%20a%20specific
