Honest Reflections

“The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.” Psalm 118:22
Guess what I learned today in my devotional?  Jesus was actually a builder!
From my devotional “The Rook, The Road, and The Rabbi” by Kathie Lee Gifford:
“The word carpenter in Matthew 13:55 and Mark 6:3 for how Joseph and Jesus made a living is the Greek word tekton.  It means builder.”  It went on to explain there were only rocks in Israel.  “Jesus was not a carpenter.  Jesus was a stone mason.”
Mind blowing!  Until you stop and think about it.  Jesus is the Master Craftsman.  (By the way, it did clarify that tekton can actually be translated as stone mason or architect.)
Here’s a link to the devotional:  http://bible.com/r/2vV in case you want to check it out.  She really drew a lot of great analogies about how Jesus is the architect of Creation.  How He brings order out of chaos. Really worth a read.
I digress.  What really caught my attention is Jesus as a builder.  When I think of my relationship with God and others, I think of them as being built.  One day at a time.  One interaction at a time.  One moment at a time.
My relationship with God is built every morning when I seek Him.  When I open His Word and engage with it.  When I lower myself to my knees and pray.  When I seek His people and ask for their insight and wisdom.  Over a span of 48 years, I have built a very strong relationship with God.  We have gone through a lot of dark days together, as well as happy ones.  Each of them built one stone at a time.
Building my relationship with God is what then builds my relationship with people.
When I’m praying for difficult relationships, I ask God for the building blocks I need to restore it, preserve it or enhance it.  Building blocks can easily be defined as the fruit of the Spirit we find in Galatians 5:22-23:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. “
Applying those to any relationship will build it stronger.  Building it on the Rock of Jesus will make it indestructable.  I love what Ecclesiastes 4:12 says about relationships:
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (NLT)
The triple thread is God.
Build first with Jesus, then build with people.
I love thinking about Jesus as a builder.  Kathy Lee is right, there are a lot more applications from this one tidbit of information. For me, I went with Jesus the Builder.  Grateful for His strong foundation!
What do you think?  Is Jesus a builder in your life?
 
 

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
I need a jump start.  Life has been a bit much for me of late.  There has been a lot going on which has drained me.  I’m feeling mentally fatigued, physically tired and just over all blah.  I’m not jumping out of bed in the morning excited for the day ahead.  Instead I’m burying my head under the covers and dreading the moment my feet have to hit the floor.
I’m depressed.  I don’t like it.  It’s time to do something about it.
I’m into groups.  I don’t know if you know that about me, but I believe in the power of groups.  So much so, I am actually on staff as a volunteer at my church organizing groups.  I believe in them so much I give my time away to form and help sustain them.  Groups change people’s lives.  They care for people, connect people and grow people.
Groups rock!
For instance, I’m in an online group, it’s a health group centered solely on making good health choices.  There are 80 participants in the group, it was formed by a friend who was frustrated with her recent choices and wanted support.  She was amazed at how many other people were in the same boat, wanting the same thing.
I was one of them.
The group has been amazing for me.  We are at the end of the first three months.  I’ve done well, I’ve instituted some good work out habits, I’ve counted calories.  It has helped me stay on track.  However, I have faltered of late.
Thankfully I’m in a group!
Our leader has issued a 30 day challenge for April.  Set one goal and attain it.  It is exactly what I needed to jump start my life again.  At first I didn’t know what I wanted to set as a goal.  I wanted something which would reset my mindset, my exercise routine, my life.  As I began to pray about it, my eyes fell upon the long unopened book “The Daniel Plan” by Rick Warren.  I had done it a year or so ago and it had truly helped me get motivated.  I knew immediately it was my challenge.
I’m doing the 40 day fitness challenge starting tomorrow.  Along with it, I am going to do the 10 day detox.  Then I will continue to follow the Daniel Plan guidelines for the rest of the 30 days. God help me, it’s the only way I’ll succeed.
It’s my jumpstart.
I started to re-read the book this morning as I prepare for my challenge.  Already it has lifted my heart and quickened my step.  I’m excited to get back on the plan.  I remember how good I felt when I did this before.  How balanced my emotions were, how energetic my body felt.  I want that again.  I can’t wait to start!
I love the words the author is praying for the people who choose to take this journey:
3 John 2 “Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
Welcome to the journey!
 
 
 
 

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.” Proverbs 16:3
I thought I’d do a quarterly update.  In December I mapped out my goals for 2018.  My one word for this year is Commitment.  My verse is Proverbs 16:3.
My goals for the year are:
Spiritual:  Praying over my calendar on Monday mornings.  Finding and completing a domestic mission trip.
Physical:  Continue my two classes a week minimum.  Increase cardio workout to 5-6 times a week.
Financial:  Coming in on budget personally each month.
Writing:   Write a blog weekly
So far so good.  Or even better, as Mark Batterson likes to say, “So far so God.”
I have to admit, reviewing my goals reminded me about the domestic mission trip. I thought I had it covered. I was going to do one  in West Virginia.  However the dates don’t work.  At this point I still need to work on finding one.
Praying over my calendar has  impacted my life the most. It has helped me not only live up to my commitments, but give them my best. It didn’t take long for God to reveal to me I was overbooked.  This began an avid conversation with Him.  I knew I had to give some things up. I didn’t know what.
I am volunteer staff for my church. I run two small businesses.  I love all three of these things, each for different reasons.  When working in balance, they balance me.  When I’m doing one job, it gives me a break from the others.  I need the diversity.  It helps me get my mind off of one thing, focus on another.  When I come back to the first one, I’m fresher, think clearer, can have fresh eyes.  It’s how God designed me.
I didn’t want to give any of them up.  Which was the first question I asked Him…what do I give up?
Over and over again the answer was nothing.
Now what?  I became so frustrated.  I was so tired.  I was dropping into bed at night exhausted.  I was walking through my days like a zombie.
In addition to my work, I have been achieving my physical goals.  I’m doing yoga three times a week regularly, again life changing.  I’m doing cardio 5-6 times a week, can’t wait for warm weather so I can move it outside.  The treadmill isn’t very motivating to me.  Although yesterday I utilized the time planning for my tennis class. I found it inspiring.
I have been writing my blog once a week.  I have come in on budget for the first two months.  If I’m completely honest, I’ve pushed it to the last dime, but it is still on budget.
Re-evaluating my calendar has made all of the above possible.  It revolutionized my life.
The area I had to cut back the most in was my position on staff.  I had taken on way too much work.  I found saying no to God was harder than saying no to actual money.  It peaked one day when even more was being asked of me than I was already doing.  It was a pivotal moment in my 2018.
As a result, I spent the next five days truly evaluating all I was doing.  I started by analyzing my job description for church, which quickly showed me how much additional work I had accepted. No one’s fault by mine.  I looked at my teaching schedule for tennis. I sat down with my partner and we outlined our classes for the entire year.  I added in the hours I spend dog walking.
This was the most fun part.  I took a blank calendar for 2018. I added all of the things I was required to do.  There is a weekly church meeting I’m required to attend.  I plugged in the hours I dog walk every day.  I added in our class schedule for teaching tennis.  Then I plugged in my yoga classes and anything else I personally wanted to do each week.
It was eye opening.   There was literally only one day I didn’t have something plugged into my calendar.  I was booked before I added anything else.
It was time to seek wise counsel.
I sat down with my husband and a trusted friend.  I showed them my calendar.  I asked them to be honest with me, to speak truth into my life.  I asked them to show me how I could find balance?
After a long discussion, some hard truths, I created black out times.  I literally blacked the times out on my calendar.  One for me personally to have time to myself.  One for my family, designated as time with them.  I have a new rule in place.  No work of any kind during those times.  It is the only way I can remain sane, keep doing all of the things I love.  More importantly, it is how I can give my best to those around me.
It has been challenging.  As a result I have had to say no.  At first, it was really hard.  I had to make some difficult boundaries.  I’m better at it now, I’m learning to say no.  I have been able to schedule jobs into my open time slots.  I’ve honored my black out times.
It has changed my life.  I’m not exhausted.  I’m not walking around like a zombie from one meeting to the next.  I’m more present in my relationships.  I’m saying no to things so I can give my best yes.  I’m enjoying my time off.  I’m relaxing, I’m refreshing, I’m renewing each week.
Praying over my calendar, in the first quarter has brought balance into my life.  God has taught me so much through this one exercise. I’m not going to finish 2018 like I did 2017…tired, exhausted and ready to quit.  God has re-vamped my life by this one goal: praying over my calendar on Monday mornings!
How is your first quarter going?  Do you need a reminder of what your goals are for 2018?  I know I did.
I need to start working on a mission trip.
 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Trusting God in the midst of heartache can be one of the most challenging steps of faith we take.  Not understanding the “why” behind something is frustrating.  We want answers to our questions, when none are forthcoming, at least in the present moment, it can wreak havoc.
Trust is defined as firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Instead of asking why, ask how firm is my belief in God?  How much do I believe the reliability and truth of His word?  Do I believe He has the ability and strength to handle whatever situation you are facing?
These are questions you can find answers too.  Simply look back at what He has already done.  Remember what caused you to believe in God in the first place.  Recall how the truth of His word changed your life.  Ponder the ability and strength He showed during a different situation you thought, at the time was impossible.
When you begin to remember what God has already done, it lessens the necessity to know the “why” of right now.  You can trust, just as He had the last situation, He also has this one.
You can begin to rely on the truth of His word which says He has a plan and it’s a good one (Jer. 29:11).  You can find your joy in His strength (Neh. 8:10.)  You don’t have to be afraid, He promises He is with you (Isaiah 41:10).  You can find safety in the strength of His name (Proverbs 18:10).  You can have His peace (John 14:27) as you weather any storm.  He is your refuge (Psalm 46:1).  Your hope (Isaiah 40:31).
You can begin to trust.
Scripture References:
 ^“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“…Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The name of the Lord is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10
 ^“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:12
When tragedy strikes, there are no words.  The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming.  The pain felt for those involved is paralyzing.  It is almost unspeakable. As a result, people shy away because they are afraid they will say the wrong thing.
The truth is, there are words, and they are simple.  “I love you.  I’m praying for you.”  Those are all the words you need to say.  What people need in the midst of tragedy is your presence.  Your support.  They need you to pray for them when they don’t know what to pray.  When their grief and their pain is so extreme, they can barely breathe they need you to do it for them.  They need you to stand in the gap and pray for them.  They need you to hold them in their arms and love them.  They need your presence.
When my nephew died four years ago the first words I said to his Mom at the hospital were “Can I hug you?”  She fell in my arms and cried.  I didn’t utter another word.  As we moved through the days that followed, I talked little.  I hugged much.  There weren’t words I could ever say that would bring her son back, but I could hold her while she cried.  I could be present for her.
And while I held her I prayed.  I prayed for her and my brother. I prayed for God to comfort them.  I prayed for my niece as she walked through losing her brother.  I prayed for them to feel His presence.  I prayed for God to give them strength for the days and years ahead.  I asked God to show me how I could help, what could I do?  I stood in the gap for them when they couldn’t pray.
I prayed, then I prayed some more.
In the midst of tragedy, it isn’t your words people will remember, it is your presence.  It is your prayers they need, your specific and passionate prayers as you cry out to God for them on their behalf.  God is in the midst of tragedy:
“Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Tragedy has occurred in the lives of dear friends.  There are no words to describe the depth of pain it has left in their lives.  My message was simple when I called, “I love you.  I’m praying for you. What can I do?”
Even though there is nothing physically I can do, I can pray.  I can continue to pray for them as they move through the days ahead.  I can be present for them, for their loved ones, for their church.
I am praying they find God in the midst of this tragedy.  I am praying He reveals himself to them.  I am praying they feel His presence in the midst of this darkness.  I am praying He comforts their broken hearts.  I am praying continuously for all of the lives which have been affected by this terrible loss. I am praying, and I won’t stop.
When there are no words, there is prayer.
 
 
 
 

“The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34:19
I was reading my devotional this morning by Rick Warren.  He is talking about struggles in life, more specifically, why do they continue to go on and on.  I love what he said:
“Here’s the lesson: When God allows a crisis into your life, He doesn’t solve it immediately.  He lets it go on for a while because He wants to see if you’re really serious about seeking Him.  If God answered every prayer immediately, you’d begin to think God was a big vending machine:  Put in Prayer, Pull out whatever you Need.”
He’s got a point!
I’m studying the book of Ruth in my women’s group right now.  Last week, we were studying when Elimelech moved his family from Bethlehem to Israel, focusing on Ruth 1:1-7.  One point the author had us ponder was WHY did Elimelech move his family?
Bethelehem was in the midst of a famine when he made the decision to move his wife and sons.  They stayed in Moab for at least 10 years.  During their stay there, Elimelech and both of his sons died.  Naomi, his wife was left a widow with her two daughters-in-law Orpah and Ruth.  She hears the famine has lifted in Bethlehem in verse 6:
“…the Lord had paid attention to His people’s need by providing them food.”
God had allowed a famine to enter Elimelech’s life.  It didn’t end overnight but went on for years.  Instead of waiting on God to provide, he moved to a foreign land.  A land which held great tragedy for his family.  What would have happened if He had waited on God in Bethlehem?  What miracles did he miss out on because of his impatience?  We’ll never know.
What miracles are you missing out on because you aren’t willing to wait on God in the midst of the struggle?
Are you trying to solve your current struggle yourself or are you seeking Jesus?  Have you looked into His word to see what it says about your situation?  Is it relational?  The Bible has a lot to say about how to have healthy relationships.  How about financial?  There are more verses about money in the Bible than there are about salvation.  God knew we would need them.
Whatever it is you are struggling with today, don’t try to fix it.  Instead, turn to God.  Seek Him in prayer, read His word, talk to wise counselors in the faith.  He knows you’re struggling.  He has a plan.  All He wants is for you to seek Him in it.
 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ”  1 Corinthians 13:4-5
When one thinks of Valentine’s day, they think of love.  Typically the love shared between man and woman.  The dozen roses, the chocolates, the cards filled with poetry.  I am grateful God brought me someone to share the romantic side of Valentine’s Day, absolutely.  However one of my favorite Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with that kind of love.
I was single for over 40 years of my life.  I’ve had many more Valentine’s Day alone than sharing with someone special.  I used to dread it as the day approached.  I’d hear the platitudes, “It’s just a day Hallmark uses to sell cards.”  “Trust me honey, you’re better off alone than with someone who doesn’t treat you well.”  You get the gist.
Looking back though, I realize, I did have the perfect Valentine those years I was alone.  It was my Mom.
My Mom loved Valentine’s day.  She would always send cards to all of her kids.  She sent them to family and friends.  There were Valentine’s decorations around her house.  I was always guaranteed to get some type of Valentine’s present, usually some chocolates.  In later years, it was flowers.  I always took it for granted, as we tend to do.
Our last Valentine’s day together was four years ago.  It was her last lucid evening before she passed.  I’ll never forget it.  She was in her hospital bed in her bedroom at her home.  She was weak, had lost a lot of weight due to cancer.  She had just become bedridden a few days before.  My husband was with me, as well as some close friends.  I brought her a Bloomin’ Onion from Outback.  It was always one of her favorite foods.
I remember spending the evening around her bed with her.  Surrounded by people I love.  I didn’t know at the time it would be the last time I would have a conversation with her.  I had no idea in less than 36 hours she would be in the arms of Jesus.  I just knew I was with her.
I knew I was honoring her.  I knew she was exactly where she wanted be, doing exactly what she wanted to do.  When I think of my mother’s life, I always think of how she lived it.
She lived it the way she wanted too.  She did what she wanted to do.  When she made a mistake she accepted responsibility for it and moved on to the next thing.  She never let life get her down.  When Dad died leaving her with three teenagers, she kept going.  When I was less than a stellar daughter, she kept loving and praying me through it.  My brothers tested her too. She just kept going.  She held her head up high and kept going.
I’m grateful for her.  When she passed, she died the way she wanted too, at home, in her bed.  She is one of the few people I can honestly say, she lived the way she wanted to and died the way she wanted to.
There will never be another Valentine’s Day I don’t think of the last one I spent with her.  It was truly an evening of love.
 

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
I am currently listening to “When, The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing”  by Daniel H. Pink.  I find it fascinating the things people commit their lives too.  This entire book is about the study of time.
I’m about half way through it.  I have two thoughts as I’m listening to this book.  The first is, quite honestly, don’t you have anything better to do than study time?  The second is, you can’t put God in a box.
You know who has perfect timing?  It’s God.  Hands down, best timing ever!
So far, according to this book, there is a best time to think, there is a best time to exercise, there is a best time to take a nap.  If you optimize their studies and apply it to your life, you’ll learn how to live your life in a way that will always allow you to operate at peak performance.
Hogwash!
I’m not disagreeing that on an average day, I probably do make better decisions in the morning versus the afternoon when I’m not quite as fresh.  It makes sense if you want to lose weight, exercise in the morning before you eat and you’ll burn fat.  I believe an afternoon catnap can make you more productive the rest of the day.  These are all good points.
But God isn’t a point.  He is the Creator with a plan!
Romans 8:28 tells us all things work to the good for those who believe and trust in the Lord.  You know what that tells me?  That even if at 4:12 in the afternoon, when I am tired from an already long day, God can use any decision I make to the good.
See, I’ve learned in the 40 some years I’ve been walking with God, admittedly sometimes closer than others,  Romans 8:28 is true.  He does use all things to the good for those who believe and trust in Him.
He has used my fumbling’s, my blundering’s in ways I can’t even imagine.  In fact, I would go so far to say those have impacted people’s lives more than the things I’ve done right.  And the pains I’ve endured in this lifetime, not a one of them He hasn’t used to help others, in ways I wouldn’t of imagined.
I’ll finish the book.  I hate to leave a book unfinished.  I’ll glean some valuable tips from it.  But I know, if you truly want to have perfect timing you have to trust God for it.  No human on earth will ever find a formula to trump it!

 “Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.”  Proverbs 14:26
I just watched “This is Us”, the episode that explained how their dad died.  If you don’t watch the show, you will have no idea what I’m talking about, which is completely fine.
I am a woman who lost her dad when she was 16 years old.  It touched a lot of heart strings for me.  More than I realized were still there.  As  I watched the show, as I watched them tell the daughter her daddy was gone, it broke my heart.  I remember the day my Dad died.  Like Kate in the show, I have regrets.  There were things I could of done that I didn’t, like go visit him at the hospital.  I didn’t go that day, I wanted to sleep in.  I knew the minute my Mom and little brother pulled out of the driveway I had made a mistake.  It was too late.
I called Dad.  He answered the phone.  I’ll never forget it.  I was crying.  I told him I was so sorry I didn’t come.  He forgave me.  Then he told me it was time to say goodbye.  Somehow, he knew too.  I will never understand how he knew.  He let me off the hook.  He told me he would see me again.  I had the opportunity to tell him one last time I loved him.  He told me he loved me too and he would see me soon.
He didn’t die that day, at around 4:00 in the afternoon he drifted into a coma.  My Mom and little brother had barely arrived home when the hospital called us.  We immediately rushed to the hospital to be by his side.
He died two and a half days later.  That is how long it took for all of his family to get there.  The last was my sister-in-law who came from VA.  Her and my Dad a special relationship.  He waited for her.  It was moments afterwards that he passed.  We were all standing around his bed as he took his last breath.
It was surreal.  He took one long breath.  I thought that was it, then he took another long breath.  Then he was gone.  I see it as clearly as if it was yesterday.
When my Dad died, I lost my hero.  He was perfect in my eyes.  Learning that he wasn’t was a hard lesson.  I had him on such a pedestal that when he fell off it, let’s just say it sent my world into turmoil.
I was so young when my Dad died, yet I hear him in my head. “If you’re going to do something, do it right!”  or “Don’t do it half a**ed, do it right!”  My Dad was big on doing it to the best of your ability.  “Do it right or don’t do it at all.”  That has served me well in my life.
My favorite job is my volunteer job.  I love being able to give my time away.  I love that God signs my check.  He signs my benefits.  I love giving it my all.  In my head, I hear my Dad.  I hear his euphemisms in my head and I work harder.   My most favorite thing is doing it right. Every time I do, every time I don’t cut shortcuts, every time I hear my Dad.  “Job well done!”
I’m grateful he taught me how to do my tasks well.  I feel God’s pleasure when I do.  There is nothing else like it.
But wow, I miss my Dad!  So much!