Honest Reflections

“And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule your hearts.  And be thankful.” Colossians 3:15 CSB

Jan Grzebski was a railroad worker in Poland.  In 1988, he was hit in the head by a train’s hinged side car, which put him in a coma.  That is what they thought at the time, but came to find out he had a 5 centimeter brain tumor that was the actual culprit.  He spent the next 19 years in a coma, waking in 2007. When he went into the coma, Poland was a communist country. In 1990, Poland began to pursue economic liberalization.  When Jan went into the coma meat was rationed and there were huge lines at gas stations. When he awoke from the coma it was a free nation. This is how he described his experience:

“When I went into a coma there was only tea and vinegar in the shops, meat was rationed and huge petrol queues were everywhere.  Now I see people on the streets with cell phones and there were so many goods in the shops it makes my head spin. What amazes me is all these people who walk around with their mobile phones and never stop moaning.  I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

Isn’t it interesting his perspective?  His world went from an oppressive existence to freedom during the years he was unconscious, yet all he heard was complaining.  No one was thankful for the changes that occurred. Cell phones weren’t even in existence when the accident happened. Can you imagine waking up one day to such a drastic change?  We didn’t though, the change happened gradually over a period of time for us. So gradually, we take it for granted today. We take for granted the freedom cell phones have given us.  The increased communication we now have with others, the wealth of information we have at our fingertips we didn’t have before. We take it all for granted. I was amazed when I went to El Salvador, everyone had cell phones there.  I didn’t expect that in a third world country, yet that is how vastly our world has changed. And we can’t say thank you.

That is the bottom line, we don’t say thank you.  Our lives overflow with blessings we take for granted.  We don’t have peace in our hearts because we are more focused on what we don’t have than what we do have.  Jan didn’t have a problem being thankful, he spent 19 of his 66 years on earth in a coma. He was just grateful to be awake, to be alive, to be with his family.  But we take it all for granted. We’re all guilty of it at some point or another. Just the fact you woke up this morning, you had a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear and coffee to drink are all things to be thankful for today.  If we want peace in our hearts we need to be thankful for the blessings in our lives.

The next time you look at your cell phone, think about Jan.  Think about his words. Instead of moaning, be thankful. Use it as a way to remind yourself the key to peace in your heart is thankfulness.

“Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34 CSB

Today is my dear friend Leslie’s birthday.  We met 20 years ago through our work. I worked for Nautica, she worked for Polo.  It was in Chesapeake Square Mall, which now no longer exists, Dillard’s to be exact.  She came over and introduced herself to me. I was new on the job, I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to talk to the competition.  No lie. Turns out I was and she became one of my best friends. She’s battling breast cancer, prayers appreciated.

Leslie has listened to me worry a lot in the last 20 years.  When I was consumed with worry about something, she always says to me, “Don’t borrow trouble.”  It’s only recently I’ve begun to understand the truth in that statement. I realize now, I would be so consumed worrying about something out of my control, I wasn’t enjoying the current moment.  It’s difficult to not worry about tomorrow, it’s difficult not to borrow trouble. It’s a fine balance between enjoying today and worrying about the future.

As I was looking through my notes, I found this quote, “Thoughts are parents to your deeds.” I have no idea where it came from, or who said it.  But I think it can help us stay in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. We have a choice what we focus our thoughts on each day. It’s up to us to determine what we are going to let control them.  We can let worry consume us or we can intentionally focus our thoughts in the moment we are living. What Leslie was saying to me when she said, “Don’t borrow trouble” was control what you are thinking about.  Paul, in his second letter to the Corinthians puts it this way, “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5b NIV).

Paul takes it a step further in his letter to the Philippians:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8 NIV).

Paul’s telling us, whatever moment it is, look for the good.  Look for the true, the noble, the right, whatever it is, look for the praiseworthy.  There will be moments in life that will be much harder than others to do this. But if we do, we will start to take our thoughts captive, we’ll be focusing on the moment, we’ll be finding God.  Don’t borrow trouble, look for the good.

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you, He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Psalm 55:22 CSB

Five years ago today I was in a major car accident.  It was early in the morning, around 5:30 a.m. I was in Northern Virginia on my way into work when a taxi cab ran a redlight and t-boned the rental car I was driving.  It all happened so quickly, the cops were there, my husband was notified. Before I knew it I was on a train heading back home less than two hours later. Thankfully I wasn’t injured, but it was as I was sitting on the train I realized I could be.  The airbag had deployed, I had taken the full force of it. Panic started to seize me as I realized I was stuck on this train for three hours, if I needed medical help I was in serious trouble. That is when I pulled out my Bible and began to read. That is when I cast my burdens on the Lord, asking Him to calm my anxious heart and give me the peace that only He can offer.  I did make it home, my husband picked me up from the train station when I arrived and took me straight to the hospital for a full examination. All ended well.

The feeling of panic that overtook me as I realized the seriousness of the accident is one I have never forgotten.  But even more than that, the peace I found when I turned it over to the Lord was more amazing. Opening His word and losing myself in it gave me what I needed that day. God is always available to us to unload our burdens, we’re the ones who don’t turn to Him and lay them at His feet.

How can we lay our burdens at His feet?

Reading His word is one way.  Another way I have found is by writing it down, whether it be in a journal or a bottle.  The reason I chose the image for this section of beachology is because of the message in the bottle.  I picture it as one of my burdens that I’ve written down, put in the bottle and set it adrift out to sea, never to be seen by me again.  That is what it is like when we give our burdens to God. It’s letting it go, trusting He will handle it, you no longer need to worry about it.  Unfortunately though, all too often we dive in after the bottle to grab it and bring it back to shore, we don’t want to let it go. But we have too.  It’s what God calls us to do. He doesn’t want us living stressed out, maxed out lives. He wants to let our worries drift away on the tide as we rest in Him.

Whatever burdens you’re carrying today, cast them on the Lord.  Let Him handle them, He’s just waiting for you to give it to Him.

“I am at rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.” Psalm 62:1 CSB

Rest is something we don’t do enough of in our lives.  I just googled “benefits of rest” to see what would pop up.  It’s amazing what rest does for us: boosts our immune system, improves our memory, restores and energizes, stimulates creativity, and it really does make you more beautiful.  Yet we don’t do it. We let fret and worry steal this valuable asset from us. We don’t schedule in down time in our schedules. When we’re budgeting our time, rest is the first thing to go out the window.  What are we to do?

Start with resting in God.

A pastor at a church we visited recently while traveling used this analogy.  There was a man cutting firewood. He was using an ax and his muscle. He was able to cut about a cord and a half of wood a day (equivalent to a pick up truck filled to the brim, and overflowing).  Deciding there had to be a better way, he goes to the hardware store and asks the salesman about a chainsaw. The salesman shows him the best they have. He told him he would be able to cut at least 6 cords a day of wood.  “Sold” says the man, and off he goes with his new chain saw. The next day he returns to the store, plops it on the counter and informs the salesman it doesn’t work. He wants his money back, he barely got a cord of wood chopped with it.  Stumped, the salesman looks it over. He checks the gas, yes there is gas. He looks at the spark plugs, all seems to be well. He pulls back the chord a few times and the chainsaw roars to life. The man’s face is filled with surprise as he asks the salesman, “What’s that noise?”

The man didn’t know how to use the chainsaw properly.  He didn’t turn it on, He didn’t tap into its power, as a result, he didn’t receive the benefit from it that it offered him.  We’re the same way when we don’t tap into the power of God. One of the tools He has given us is rest, specifically resting in Him.  Trusting that whatever troubles you’re facing, God is bigger than them. Trusting that you can schedule downtime into your schedule and the world really won’t come to an end.  Trusting that when you lay your head on your pillow, close your eyes, allow your mind to shutdown and sleep, you are doing one of the holiest things you can do. You are resting in Him, restoring and renewing your strength, improving your health in countless ways, and allowing God to do what only He can do.

I love what Rick Warren says, “Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is take a nap.”  It’s true, when you rest and refresh yourself, you’re more equipped to help and care for others.  God even commands it, on the 7th day we are to rest and do no work (Exodus 34:21 NIV). God has given you the tools in Him.  In Him you can rest, gas is full, spark plugs are working, all you have to do is pull the chord.

“Her mouth speaks wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.”  Proverbs 31:26 CSB

The word instruction in this verse comes from the word “yarah” which means to teach, to instruct.  The verse comes from the description of the Proverbs 31 woman, described as a “Wife of Noble Character”.  She wasn’t crabby, she used love to instruct those around her.

When  I first started teaching tennis, I learned this statistic.  Children remember 80% of what you say to them, while you only remember 20% of what you say.  I’ve learned this truth as I’ve had them mimic back to me my words. It has changed my life drastically, this one little statistic.  It’s made me realize the power of my words to influence the next generation. Sometimes, as I’m on the tennis court teaching, I have a flashback from my childhood, to a coach that encouraged and inspired me to be the best version of me.  Words that have stuck with me for over 30 years, makes me realize, words I say to these kids now could be reverberating in their minds years in the future. It makes you think twice about what you say. Speaking uplifting and encouraging words takes on a new meaning.

It can be challenging though.  When the sun is beating down, the temperature is over 90 and no one is listening, it’s hard to stay positive.  The frustration begins to boil in me as the kids begin to complain about the heat. After all, I’m working in the heat too, longer than they are.  They only have to do an hour, I’ve got to do 3 or 4, even more some days. Patience runs thin on both sides, kind words can be far from my mouth. How do you stay positive then?  When the heat’s turned up in your life, when the sun is beating down in its full glory, how do you keep your words loving and kind?

I try and keep perspective.  I remind myself that this is a “momentary affliction” that is preparing me for eternity, looking “not to the things that are seen, but unseen.  For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18 NIV). It’s temporary, it’s going to pass, but the words I say will last longer than an hour of intense heat in the sun.  My sister-in-law Jill says it this way, “You can do anything for a minute.” She has told me this over and over again in my life when I was facing a tough task ahead. Whenever I’ve been faced with an unpleasant task ahead, she’ll use these words to encourage me.  And she is right, I can do anything for a minute, an hour, even a year. The point isn’t the amount of time, the point is that it won’t last forever. Focus on the end game, because it will end, eventually. As the scripture says, what is seen will disappear, what is unseen will last for eternity.

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“Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:5 CSB

Wow.  Same attitude as Christ?  I’ve got a long way to go.  Gratefully, I’m not where I used to be, but I also have a long way to go.  We all do, because we’re not Jesus, nor will we ever be Him. But that doesn’t mean we  can’t strive to BE like Him. We do this by following His lead, doing what He has already done, what we learn about Him in the scriptures.  Do what He did to have an attitude like Jesus. Mother Teresa did this well over her lifetime.

Mother Teresa won the Nobel peace prize in 1979 for her humanitarian work in India.  The dinner they would have given to honor her with the prize would cost approximately $192,000.  Can you imagine someone willing to spend $192,000 on a dinner to honor you? I can’t, not in the least.  Mother Teresa, thinking like Jesus, cancelled the dinner and asked that the money be donated to the charities that she supported.  That is having an attitude like Jesus. I learned something new about Mother Teresa when I researched her for this devotional. She spent 50 years of her life in spiritual crisis, at sometimes even doubting His existence.  It started in 1948 and lasted until her death. 1948 is when she began her ministry in Calcutta to the poor. The ministry that she won over 120 awards because of her selfless devotion. Because she exuded Christ as she ministered to those in need.  Even she had doubts.

We all have doubts.  We all wonder if what we’re doing really matters.  If the small acts of love that you do are noticed. I know I do.  But I also know they are. I know that it is absolutely worth it to find out what Jesus would do, then follow His example.  I know because I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. I’ve tried life thinking like Beth, that never ends well. But when I try it, thinking like Jesus, when I follow the example He set, it always ends good.  Might be hard going through it, but once He brings me to the other side of it, I’m always grateful.

Not only do we need to do what Jesus did so we can think like Him, we also need Him to help us do it.  Typically, once I know what I need/have to do, I pray for the strength and energy to do it. It is hard to love someone you don’t like or are mad at.  It’s hard to forgive people who have hurt you, or pray for them. It’s hard to trust God when you are overwhelmed with life, good or bad. It’s all hard, but it’s what Jesus would do, it’s what we’re to do.  We can only do it together. Can’t do it without Jesus. The good news is, we don’t have too!

“A joyful heart makes a face cheerful, but a sad heart produces a broken spirit.” Proverbs 15:13 CSB

The key to being cheerful is a joyful heart.  This so easy to miss if we don’t stop and think about it for a moment.  I find this tricky, since I’m always trying to be cheerful when I’m around other people.  After all, no on wants to be the one bringing everyone down with their sad hearts. But the truth is, sometimes I do have a sad heart and it definitely makes my spirit feel broken.  The dilemma then becomes, how can I maintain a joyful heart at all times?

Gratitude!  The key is gratitude.

My favorite true life example of this is Corrie Ten Boom, a Dutch Christian during WWII who was imprisoned in Ravenstock concentration camp for helping Jews escape.  Her sister, Betsie and her were together when they were imprisoned. By the grace of God they were able to sneak a Bible in with them. Here’s where it gets good, their cell was infested with fleas.  Tons of fleas. And her sister Betsie made her thank God for the fleas. Corrie did. You know how God answered that? Because of the fleas, the guards wouldn’t come into the cell. This meant they were free to study the Bible without worry of persecution.  The fleas were God’s army protecting them in the worst moments of their lives. Betsie did not survive the prison, nor did their father. Only Corrie survived, God did amazing things with her story.

That is gratitude.  Thanking God for the fleas.  When you can begin to find anything to thank God for in your life, no matter how small it is, you find joy.  No matter how insignificant it may seem to you, anything at all, you start to let joy into your heart. As Mark Batterson says, “Each of us takes 23,040 breaths a day.  Right there is something to thank God for.” Even if you don’t think you have something to thank God for, you do. Ever since my trip to El Salvador, I’m more grateful for running water than I’ve ever been in my life.  I’m careful to turn it off if I’m not using it. I thank God for it constantly. It often convicts me of the privileged life I live. Because I visited a home that didn’t have running water, it only had a cement cistern filled with water.  God only knows what bacteria it was hosting. And that’s what they used for everything, cooking, cleaning etc. I didn’t eat the tamales we made there, I’m ashamed to admit. I used the out house they had while I was there, so glad my bladder is small.  I will never forget it. I don’t want to forget it. I want to always be thankful for running water.

The key to cheerfulness is a joyful heart.  The key to a joyful heart is gratitude. Find something to be grateful for first, you’ll find your cheer.

“No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.”  Ephesians 4:29

I fail miserably at this, full transparency.  Those of you who know me well have heard me swear.  Yes, I’ve been known to cuss. I really do try to work on it, but in my most relaxed settings, I have been known to swear.  I try to let everything that comes out of my mouth be uplifting and encouraging, but I’m not perfect. One thing you won’t hear me do is take the Lord’s name in vain.  That one my mother instilled in me so strongly, I’m grateful for it. There you have it, that’s my confession. Now what?

It isn’t about who you are now, it’s about who you are becoming.  God knows I’m not perfect, He knows you’re not perfect. He doesn’t expect us to be, He just wants us to try and do better.  He wants me to try and not curse today. That is all He is asking me to do. Don’t curse today. Today make it your goal to speak only uplifting and encouraging words.  When I have that mentality, I do a lot better, even in the most relaxed situations. What makes me do better? It’s the Holy Spirit that instantly convicts me when I’ve said something I shouldn’t of said.  It’s an instant knowing, “Oops, that was wrong.” You can’t do anything about it once it’s said. You can apologize, you can try to not let it happen again. The one thing you can’t do is take it back once you’ve said it.

Which leads to one of my Mom’s favorite sayings, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”  One way I speak uplifting and encouraging words is by not saying anything at all. Because I don’t have anything nice to say.  Sometimes it requires a trick I learned from a friend, I put my hand literally over my mouth to keep it closed. This has kept me out of a lot of trouble.  It is such an easy mantra to learn, to apply. If it’s not uplifting and encouraging, don’t say it.

More than anything, give yourself grace if not every word that comes out of your mouth is perfect.  God never meant it to be. He just meant you to be you, the person He created for a very special purpose here on earth.  It is one only you can fulfill. One that God created you specifically to accomplish with the words He will give you when you need them.  Words that will be uplifting and encouraging

“Do everything without grumbling and arguing so that you may be blameless.”  Philippians 2:14 CSB

My favorite kind of crabs are ghost crabs.  They come out at night and race to the water to feed.  There are hundreds and hundreds of them all over the beach.  Kids like to catch them and parents like the free entertainment.  They are swift and hard to catch. It’s amazing how their little legs move so quickly across the sand.  Agility is their strength. Truly a sight to see.

If you get a crab cornered though, watch out for the pinchers.  The bigger the crab the harder the pinch. They know how to fight they’re way out; they are good at it.  Crabs can be very entertaining, but the fun wears off quickly. Soon their pinching claws just become irritating, the thrill of catching them wears off.  The best way to catch a crab is just to put crab pots out, they’ll catch themselves. Eventually they get lured in by whatever bait the fisherman is using, they find themselves trapped in a big wire crate with no way out.  They are isolated, alone and it’s just a matter of time before the crab pot is drawn in and they become somebodies lunch or dinner.

If we’re not careful, we can find ourselves in similar situations.  If we tend to be “crabby” in our attitude we will isolate ourselves.  People won’t want to be around us, and eventually we’ll be all alone wondering what happened?  Crabby people grumble a lot, they are the type that complain constantly. If they don’t have something to complain about they’ll make it up.  They can be exhausting, they can be life draining. Complaining never leads to action, it just leads to more complaining. There is a difference between talking about something to get to the heart of the matter and deal with the issue, versus just complaining about it with no positive outcome.  We have to be very careful not to get caught in the cycle of complaining. It’s easy to do.

I have to not complain when the lady in line in front of me is taking too long. I have to not complain when my husband doesn’t do exactly what I want or when my day doesn’t go as I planned.  I have to not complain when God doesn’t answer my prayers in a timely manner, the way I want them to be answered. I have to work at not complaining, ALL THE TIME. It is so hard, because finding something to complain about it so easy.  But finding the good in life, that can take more work.

“Therefore I tell you, everything you pray and ask for-believe that you have received it and it will be yours.”  Mark 11:24 CSB

When I was in college, friends and I decided to ditch classes one Wednesday afternoon.  We decided we would practice what our life would be like in the future. In the future when we had an established career we would take Wednesday afternoons off and go golfing.  None of us golfed, we just thought that is what you did when you take an afternoon off from work. That was our perception of what our future would be like. It is ironic that Wednesday afternoons are the day I take off during the week, I never realized that until right now.  We did it that day, we practiced for our future and skipped classes to go golfing (although we didn’t actually golf). We were believing in our future even though we didn’t know what it was

God answers your prayers.  Every single one of them, there isn’t a single one He has missed, there isn’t one He hasn’t heard, there isn’t one He hasn’t answered.  It might not be the answer you wanted. Maybe you haven’t recognized yet that He has actually answered it, you just weren’t paying attention.  Maybe the answer is no and you’re having a hard time accepting it, or He said yes and that seems even more petrifying. I’ve prayed so many prayers in my life time, I can’t remember them all.  He’s answering prayers I don’t even remember praying. But He’s answering all of them, yours, mine, everyone’s. It’s up to us to start believing it.

It’s up to us to do the practice round.  It’s up to us to start acting like we believe our prayers will be answered one day.  Just like I did in college, I still do today, except I do it much more prayerfully. Once I pray and give it to God, I act like He has answered. I don’t know how, but I know He has answered.  I have no idea if it’s yes, no or wait, but I know He has answered. And I know He will carry me through no matter what His decision is. Paul says it best in his letter to the Hebrews:

“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.” Hebrews 11:1

We have faith that our prayers are answered.  We have faith that if it’s not the answer we were hoping for God will get us through it.  We have faith that God’s will is truly better than our will, God’s ways better than our ways.  We have faith.