Honest Reflections

“When I am filled with cares, your comfort brings me joy.” Psalm 94:19 CSB

I’m in the process of writing a paper on Fred Rogers from Mister Rogers Neighborhood.  He was an amazing man, his heart for the Lord knew no bounds. The stories of how he shared Christ’s love with children truly touch the heart strings.  He also has taught me something about discipline. I’ve always thought I was disciplined, but compared to Mister Rogers, I’ve got a long way to go. Grateful God doesn’t play the comparison game, and neither should we.  But I do love when God reveals areas to me where I need work, like He did yesterday.

Mister Rogers weighed 143 pounds all of his life.  Every morning he would get up and swim, then he would weigh himself to make sure the scale said 143.  In order to maintain his weight he didn’t drink or smoke, he never ate meat, he went to be early and rose early, always getting 8 hours of sleep.  Believe it or not, he didn’t even watch television. He was diligent about remaining 143 pounds for this one simple reason. 143 spelled “I love you” in Mister Rogers mind.  This is how he explains his thinking:  “the number 143 means ‘I love you.’ It takes one letter to say ‘I’ and four letters to say ‘love’ and three letters to say ‘you.’ One hundred and forty-three. ‘I love you.’ Isn’t that wonderful?”  Weighing 143 pounds is how Mister Rogers kept his mind focused on the love of God, for him and for others.

The definition of discipline could be explained in 143 pounds.  Mister Rogers was a man who had his eyes focused so clearly on God, he couldn’t see much else.  He didn’t live an elaborate life. The infamous sweaters he wore on his show were made by his mother.  He always took afternoon naps. He knew clearly what his purpose was here on earth, he believed deeply that we are all God’s image bearers (Genesis 1:27).  When he was dying he read Matthew 25 often, he would ask his wife, “Am I a sheep?” He was fearful he hadn’t done enough for God in his time here on earth. Yet 16 years after his death, Fred Rogers Production has four children’s show developed from Mister Rogers neighborhood that are still going strong, still sharing the love of Christ.  Fred Rogers turned down lucrative financial deals from advertisers because he refused to market to children. He wanted to keep his message pure and relevant. He wasn’t afraid to tackle the tough issues of divorce, assination, or racial tensions. He did it all with love.  

Mister Rogers was a man who knew how to be happy with what he had.  He knew how to keep his eyes focused on Jesus. Day after day, he sought to live for the Lord and do the right thing.  And each day, he kept his focus by starting out his day on the scale, weighing 143 pounds. Managing his weight was his way of telling the world, “I love you.”  If we want to learn to be happy with what we have, we can learn a lot from Mister Rogers. As he always said, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood!”

“In every way I’ve shown that it is necessary to help the weak by laboring like this and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, because He said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35 CSB

My husband and I were on the way home from a camping trip when we came across a small church in the country with all of the members lined up outside to take a group picture.  My husband looked at them and said, “God knows everyone of their stories. There is no way I could ever know all of them.” He’s right, God does know all of their stories, He knows all of our stories. Even if we were members of their congregation and knew each of them, we would never know everything about them.  We are all weak in God’s eyes, we all need His help, none of us can do life without Him.

Giving our lives to help others can be exhausting at times.  The energy to get out of bed some mornings can be the most challenging.  We’re like car engines; my husband has taught me some things about them. Engines take the most gasoline when they first start up.  When you’re at a stop light, and you begin to ease on the gas to get the car in motion you’re using more fuel than at any other time.  Once the car is cruising, it doesn’t require the same amount of fuel. If we’re willing to take the first step, to get the engine running, we won’t need as much energy for the rest of the trip.  Taking the first step is always the hardest and takes the most energy. But the investment is always worth it.

Today I was feeling exhausted, I was tired of people and really was quite done.  But months ago a friend asked me to attend her baptism. Having me there meant the world to her, and my love for her is so strong, I couldn’t let her down.  When we arrived, we couldn’t find a parking spot, my husband dropped me off just as the baptism was starting so I wouldn’t miss it. I sat by myself as I watched my friend begin her new life in Christ.  When we met afterwards with another friend, they renewed my strength. They poured their energy and their zest for life, their love for others and for Jesus into me. They renewed my strength with their love, they renewed my spirit with their energy.  They gave me the fuel I needed to start my engine back up and start the next leg of my journey. We all need each other. Sometimes we’re the ones expending energy to help the weak, sometimes we’re the weak who needs to be helped. But one thing I know is true, to give of ourselves is better than to receive.  Our giving is what spurs us on to what God has for us next.

“Then He said to them all, “If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up the cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23

I live in a part of southern Virginia that has a large military population.  Every day, I see men and women in uniform who are giving their lives for me, for my family and friends, for all of us.  Yet they don’t even know me. These brave heroes pick up their cross daily, they sacrifice their lives for their country.  These soldiers go where they are told to go, do what they are told to do and they do it daily. There have been 2,372 military deaths in the War on Afghanistan as of July 27, 2018. The number of wounded soldiers is 20,320.  A Congressional Research report dated May 20, 2019 says 16,652 military personnel and reservists have died in military campaigns since 2006. All while I’ve been living my life of freedom as a civilian here in the United States.

If we’re going to spend time talking about giving more than you receive, we need to honor our fallen heroes who gave all.  We are able to have this Facebook group because of their sacrifice. We get to go to whatever church we want to on Sunday mornings because they protect our religious freedom.  We can vote for who we want, we can criticize who we want, because of these men and women. I do not come from a military family. Two of my brothers served in the Navy during the Vietnam war.  My father-in-law did two tours during the Vietnam war, missing the birth of his second child. When my mother-in-law was declining with Alzheimer’s there were two things she remembered at the end: her life growing up as a child and the two years she was alone in America with two small children, by herself, as her husband served his country half a world away.

The soldiers are not the only ones who give all, their spouses and families do as well.  I recently met a new friend who is retired military. She was telling me, her and her husband spent the first three years of their marriage separated because of the military.  She didn’t think they were ever going to live together as normal married people do every day. We take all of this for granted as we go about our daily lives. These soldiers, these families daily pick up their cross and serve our country, and serve us.  There is no greater love than to lay one’s life down for another (John 15:13 NIV). In this moment, let’s all bow our heads and pray for our military. Thanking God for all they do for us and our country. When we think about giving more than we receive, let’s think about them.

BE SATISFIED WITH WHAT YOU HAVE

“Keep your life free from the love of money.  Be satisfied with what you have, for He himself has said, “I will never leave you or abandon you.”  Hebrews 13:5 CSB

According to Dave Ramsey, there is only one way to offend money: give it away.  Money can have a powerful hold on us, but if we give it away, we break its power.  People don’t like to talk about money, there is a taboo associated with it.  In an article for the New York Times, it stated 43% of Americans don’t know how much money their spouse makes, yet fighting about money is one of the top reasons couples argue.  Marriages end because of disagreements about money. Paul tells us in his first letter to Timothy, “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wondered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs”  (1 Timothy 6:10 NIV). This scriptures is often misquoted, money isn’t the root of all kinds of evil, the LOVE of money is the problem. 

Why is the love of money an issue?  Jesus answers that question for us in Matthew 6:24: “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”  We can’t love both God and money, it’s that simple. Which ever one we love more, it rules our heart and our lives. What do we do to keep our hearts free from the love of money?  We offend money by giving it away. Dave Ramsey sums it up this way:  “Giving lifts us out of ourselves; we take our eyes off our rights, our problems and our stuff. The new view gives us renewed vision and hope. Giving is powerful.”

And giving will make you happier.  Researchers have found three things to be true about giving. First, giving really does make you happier than spending money on yourself.  In one part of the study they gave college kids $5 and $20 bills. Half of the group was to spend the money on themselves, the other half was to spend it on others.  The half who spent it on others reported a better mood, a sense of purpose and meaning, and greater feelings of over all well being. Secondly, when we give we invest in what we think is important.  Supporting your favorite charity, helping others, whatever it is we deem is important, we’re investing in it, not just giving our money away. And lastly, giving breaks money’s power on us. Giving ends arguments, creates unity and most importantly, honors God.  Money’s a tough one, if you want to break it’s hold on you, start giving it away. Let God rule your heart, money comes and goes, but God will never leave you.

“You will be enriched in every way for all generosity, which produces thanksgiving to God through us.” 2 Corinthians 9:11 CSB

When this is published, and you are reading this, it will be three weeks from now, almost four.  I will be excited to read this in the future, knowing what has happened to me today that has prompted this writing.  I am praying that when I read this in the future, the prayer I have been praying for months will have finally been answered, God willing in a favorable way.  But I don’t know that will be the case. I do know, however, God is asking me to give more today than I have ever given before this. I do know, He’s asking me who truly comes first in my heart, Him or me?  I’m going with Him.

Giving more than you receive is difficult.  We get attached to our money, our stuff. We work hard for all we have.  Giving the things we have away seems contradictory to all of the hard work we do to achieve it.  But we can’t out give God. No matter what He is asking us to give, we can’t out give all He has done for us.  We can’t out give the health He has given us, we can’t out give the provisions He has given us, we can’t out give the life He has given us.  I know when we play the comparison game, we can feel like He has given others more than He has given us, but don’t fall for that lie. Appearances lie, Facebook lies, people lie.  No one wants to admit what their life is really like. No one wants to admit the things they worry about, or the things that keep them awake at night. Think about how hard we all work to cover up the truth.  I color my hair to hide the gray because I hate to admit that I’m getting older. When I see a woman wearing a lot of make-up, dressed to perfection, I always wonder, “What is she trying so hard to cover up?”  

When God asks us to give, He doesn’t do it to punish us.  He does it to see who is first in our hearts. Tithing is giving the first 10% of our income back to God.  People love to debate tithing, is it net or gross? Is tithing just money or does it mean our time as well? If I’m volunteering shouldn’t that count towards my tithing?  All of these questions are forgetting the main point, everything we have, whether it be money or time, comes from God. When God asks us to give back the first 10%, we’re just giving back to Him what is already His.  Giving isn’t about the money, it’s about the faith that is attached with the giving. Tithing isn’t a money issue, it’s a heart issue. When you give to God, you’re telling Him, “You come first with me. I know You can do more with the 90% than I can do with the 100%.  And if You ask me to give more than that, that’s fine too. All I have is Yours, I’m just giving it back to You.”

I have no idea what God is asking You to give today, but I do know this, you can’t possibly out give God for all He has done for you.  When you give, you always get more than you receive.

“But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.” Matthew 14:27-29 NIV

There is a saying I say a lot to people who are trying to decide to do something out of their comfort zones, for Jesus. It’s “jump out the boat”. You see Jesus wasn’t the only one to walk on water, Peter did too.  Reread the verse above. 

Jesus calls Peter out of the boat ONTO the  water and he walks on water!!!!

About 8 years ago I attended a small group. I use the word attended loosely. I was late every time and sometimes I didn’t come at all. It was hard for me to share, my life was a broken mess. From a broken marriage to losing the divorce custody battle for my kids, it was such a dark time for me. Sometimes all I could do was crawl into group, when I was there all I could do was be present. We did a full dinner every week, I would sign up for the cheese. If I didn’t bring the cheese the whole meal didn’t fall apart, it meant if I didn’t show up no one would notice.

One day we were talking about Peter jumping out of the boat, and would we do that?  I was like “Hell yeah I would!” I mean if Jesus called you..HELLO! Fast forward a few weeks, it was time for our group to form into 2 different groups, adding people to each group. We called it “multiplying” because if you stay together too long you stop growing. They needed 2 new leaders for the groups. Someone stepped up to do one group, but out of the 20 of us NO ONE was stepping up to lead the other. I was pretty much looking at my phone, waiting for whoever so I would know whose group I was in. AND it was taking FOREVER. None of these perfect group leader people were stepping up to do it.  I was thinking about what I needed to do the next day, writing my grocery list in my head… basically waiting patiently. UNTIL, God softly whispered: “I thought you were going to jump out of the boat.” WHAT THE HELL??? I’m the WORST attendee!!! I’m the worst sharer! I’m late or don’t show at all. And every time I said something, God repeated, “I thought you were going to jump out of the boat.” OH.MY.LORD. You seriously can not be calling me! But oh He was. So full of frustration and fear and worry, I jumped out of the boat. I stepped up to lead the second group.

That began 6 years of group leadership. Wow. It still catches my breath to think about that moment. I was not ready, nor was I equipped. But God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.  May I encourage you to hear the voice of God and obey? To hear Him call you out of the boat, JUMP! You will never regret it… I didn’t!

“He then told them, “Watch out and be on guard against all greed, because one’s life is not in the abundance of his possessions.”  Luke 12:15 CSB

The beginning of this section in my Bible says, “The Parable of the Rich Fool.”  In this parable a rich man has a lot of land that has produced an abundance of crops.  He doesn’t know what to do with all of his “stuff.” He decides to tear down his existing barns, build new, bigger ones, then sit back and relax.  He decides to “take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy” himself (Luke 12:19b CSB). God didn’t agree with his plan, His reply: “You fool! This very night your life is demanded of you.  And the things you have prepared-whose will they be?” (Luke 12:20 CSB). Jesus explains that when we put our treasure here on earth it won’t last, only the treasures we store with God will last.

In a 2018 article by Patrick Sisson, “Self-storage: How Warehouses for Personal Junk Became a $38 Billion Industry”, 1 out of 11 Americans pay for storage space every month.  Building a storage unit has become one of the best ways to invest money in real estate, even through the economic down turn of recent years. There are more than 50,000 storage facilities in our country and the average cost people are paying per month is $91.14.  Apparently, from these statistics, there are a lot of “Rich Fools” in America. My husband and I don’t have a storage unit, but we do have a lot of junk. We have an attic full of stuff, no idea what is all up there. I’m constantly cleaning out closets and finding crap I completely forgot I owned.  I have even been guilty of buying the exact same shirt twice. We have an abundance of stuff in America, and it takes us away from the simple life.

The more stuff we have, the more stuff we have to take care of each day.  Our stuff can consume us. We become attached to the things we have, our phones, our computers, our cars.  Stuff can easily take the place of God in our hearts. We have to be on guard against greed, we have to be careful what kind of treasures we are storing up.  We can gain insight into what we are to treasure from Jesus’ own mom, Mary. After Jesus’ birth, in the stable when the shepherds came bearing gifts it says, “But Mary treasured all of these things and pondered them in her heart” (Luke 2:19 NIV).  What was she pondering? Jesus and the miracles that came with Him. Those are the treasures we should be seeking. The miracle of life all around us, the miracles of healing, the miracles of God’s provision, the miracles of love. All of these things are treasures from God, for us.  None of God’s miracles need a storage unit to put them in, they are stored in our heart, they are our riches in heaven. When we store the treasures of God’s grace and love in our hearts, they are eternal, nothing can take them away. The stuff we have here on earth will be left behind, but our hearts, they will always be with God.

“For am I now trying to persuade people, or God?  Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 CSB

In a 2017 article titled “10 Signs You’re a People Pleaser” from Psychology Today it lists 10 ways you can tell if you’re a people pleaser or not, here they are.  You pretend to agree with everyone. You feel responsible for how other people feel. You apologize often. You feel burdened by the things you have to do. You can’t say no.  You feel uncomfortable if someone is mad at you. You act like the people around you. You need praise to feel good. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict and you don’t admit when you’re feelings are hurt.  The first line of the article sums it up well: “You’ll never reach your goals if you’re trying to be all things to all people.”  God is telling us the same thing in today’s verse, if we’re going to serve Him, we have to stop the people pleasing.

I do have some of the traits listed in the article.  I’m uncomfortable when people are angry at me and I don’t like to admit when my feelings are hurt.  Yours may be different, you might not have any of them. In today’s world with the interconnectedness we have through the internet and social media, it is much more challenging to not care what people think.  We know more now than ever before and actions always speak louder than words. Putting people before God is incredibly easy, especially if you’re a mom, you watch your heart run around outside of your body. I can’t even imagine what that is like.  

Jesus didn’t live to please people, He came to save us, not please us. Jesus is counter intuitive,  He didn’t react to situations as we do. My favorite picture of this is found in John 8:1-11.  The religious leaders interrupted Jesus teaching by dragging a woman who had been caught in adultery to Him for judgement.  Jesus didn’t say a word, He just knelt and began writing in the dirt. Then He stood up and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone” (John 8:7 NLT). Scholars have debated what He wrote for years.  I think it was the sins of all of those standing around them because one by one they all walked away until only Him and the woman were left. He turns to the woman, asks where her accusers are, and she replies gone. He then says these precious words to her, “Neither do I (accuse you), go and sin no more” (John 8:11 NLT).  Jesus didn’t care what people thought, He cared about what His Father in heaven thought. Jesus knew God loved her and He was too love her as well, no matter what her sin was. If He had cared what people thought, He would of let them stone her. But Jesus knew better, He knew Who He wanted to please.  We need to ask ourselves the same thing: Who do we want to please, God or man? Pleasing God takes work, but it’s worth it. The reward far out ways all else.

“He said, “Don’t load yourselves up with equipment. Keep it simple; you are the equipment. And no luxury inns—get a modest place and be content there until you leave.” Luke 9:3-4 MSG

On the recent trip my husband and I took to Myrtle Beach, we couldn’t find a hotel.  They are a hot commodity in the middle of summer at the oceanside city. What we finally landed in was far from luxury, and it wasn’t cheap.  The motel came with flying cockroaches in the middle of the night which had my husband springing from bed to protect us, literally. I was afraid to take a shower because it was so nasty, the sink wasn’t much better.  The room was clean, we didn’t bring home any bed bugs. The swimming pool, sitting empty and desolate had actually started to come up out of the ground. I was fearful to stay there a minute longer than we had too. But the people were so nice.  I had to overcome the physical circumstances to see the people God has placed before me to love. God has reminded me thousands of times in my life, wherever I go, He is there, just like this trip.

He was there in the smile the desk clerk gave me when he saw us.  He was there when the maintenance man helped us shut our door when we couldn’t get it to shut.  He was there when the sweet cleaning lady joined in to help her co-worker. He was there in all of their faces and their smiles.  But I was challenged to see it because I was more concerned they were going to rob us. Full confession, I was afraid to leave our dogs in the room with our stuff when we left for dinner because I thought they would be gone when we got back.  I had a hard time being content in this place until we left. I have had the opportunity to stay in much nicer places over my career, but I have never been treated as well as we were at this particular motel. They were in the process of renovating it, but they had a very, very long way to go.

Here’s the point I’m trying to make, it’s not our surroundings that matter, it’s the people around us who do. Often times we think we need stuff to be able to serve people, we need to be in the right place at the right time.  But we don’t need stuff, we don’t need luxury, all we really need is a smile. When I was walking our dogs after we checked in and the kind desk clerk walked by me, all I had to do was smile. I didn’t need anything else to show him the love of Jesus.  When the cleaning lady wanted to talk for a moment, all I had to do was stop and listen. When the maintenance man went out of his way to help us, stopping what he was doing to come to our aid, all I had to do was say thank you, sincerely. Loving people doesn’t take stuff, it doesn’t take fancy places or fancy cars, it takes awareness of those around you.  Loving people means looking past the immediate circumstances and doing the right thing anyway. Smiling when they walk by, listening when they talk, thanking them for what they do, all simple ways to love people you may never see again on this side of heaven. Wherever you are, God is there. Whatever you do, let it be done in love. Keep it simple, leave the stuff at home and just love whoever God brings before you today and always.

“A simple life in the Fear of the Lord is better than a rich life with a ton of headaches.” Proverbs 15:16 MSG

Mark Zuckerburg is 35 years old, co-founder and leader of Facebook , he is listed as one of the wealthiest men in the world.  If you look him up in Wikipedia, there is an entire section for his legal controversies. His college friend who helped him start Facebook sued him, he was involved in a Pakistan criminal investigation, there are money disputes and land disputes listed.  Anyone who thinks they can get money off of him tries. I am grateful to say, at this point in my life I have had to deal with very few legal issues, I’m praying it stays that way. The ones I have had to deal with have given me a headache and caused me to lose sleep. I have 15 more years of life experience than Zuckerburg has and I’m grateful to say, it’s a simple life experience.  Without reading the details of Zuckerburg’s cases, it already makes my stomach queasy. He may be one of the richest men in the world, but it comes with a lot of headaches.

Proverbs 30:8-9 gives us valuable insight on how to live a simple life: 

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

    give me neither poverty nor riches,

    but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’

Or I may become poor and steal,

    and so dishonor the name of my God.

We don’t need much in this world, not nearly all that we have.  We need food and water to live on, we need clothes on our backs, although you could argue Adam and Eve didn’t even need clothes until after the fall.  If we really want to define a simple life, it comes with those two needs. Having a roof to sleep under, running water, and a car to drive are all luxuries.  Have you ever thought about how our blessings can become our burdens? We love having a house, but we have to work to take care of it. We love having clothes, but we have to wash and dry them.  We love having cars, but the oil has to be changed and the tires rotated. Jesus never worried about any of that, with the exception of washing His clothes. There is no Scripture that directly talks about Jesus washing His clothes, but I’m assuming He did.

My point is, I’ve often heard people say, “If only I had more money, life would be better.”  That is a lie, you don’t need more money to have a better life. You may need to learn how to manage the money you have better, you may need to prioritize your spending, but you already have all you need for a good life. If anything our struggle in America is having too much and saying “Who is the Lord?” (Proverbs 30:9 NIV).  Living the simple life helps us remember where our blessings come from and Who we owe thanks too for them. Keeping our eyes on Him is all we truly need to live the simple life.