Honest Reflections

“Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to His purpose.” Phil. 2:12-13 CSB

I do not miss the fact that yesterday I sat in church and listened to an entire sermon on these two verses.  Today, when I reached in my “Fear Not Challenge” bag for a verse, this was the verse I pulled out of it.  According to these verses, God is in control and we are to obey Him. The “fear and trembling” part refers back to what we talked about in yesterday’s devotional, our natural sin nature which wars with what God wants for us.  People within the church debate these verses from a lot of different perspectives, but there is one thing they all agree on, Jesus’s death and resurrection. When we focus on what Jesus has done for us, we can all meet together at the foot of the cross in gratitude.  Consistency in our walk with God is how we work it out. Consistently, day after day, seeking Him, spending time with Him, getting to know Him a little better will allow Him to do His work in us. 

Consistently working out at the gym gives people buff muscles.  Weightlifters who are buff didn’t start out that way. They all started somewhere.  They lifted their first weight, ran their first mile, did their first push-up. What makes them buff is their consistency.  They consistently go to the gym and lift more weights, run more miles and do more push ups. As a result they have defined muscles and six pack abs.  Consistency is key to becoming buff physically AND spiritually. Consistently choosing Jesus every morning is the start. Consistently reading the Bible, spending time with others, and praying will work out spiritual muscles. When we work out our spiritual muscles each day, God will do His part and we will find the life He intended for us.  What God did not intend for us is to live a life of fear. He tells us over and over again in scripture, “Do not Fear, I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV).  Yet we continue to live lives filled with fears.

We can apply consistency to our fears as well.  Each day, when we choose Jesus, we can give them to Him.  Whatever fear we’re facing, whatever giant we’re trying to overcome, we can give it to Jesus. We can let Him take care of it for us so fear won’t steal another moment of our joy.  We can consistently say, “Jesus, I trust you to overcome my fears” (Phil. 4:6 NIV).

“The Lord removed your punishment; He has turned back your enemy.  The King of Israel, the Lord is among you; and you need no longer fear harm.” Zephaniah 3:15 CSB

In a recent Sunday morning sermon, the pastor defined sanctification as the daily choice to follow Jesus, consistently, day after day. He focused on  song lyrics from “Come Thou Fount (I Will Sing)” by Chris Tomlin:

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it

Prone to leave the God I love

Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it

Seal it for Thy courts above

During the sermon, the pastor made this point, “We need to have an appropriate fear of our own ability to sin.” His words reminded me of the straight and narrow path we are to walk (Mat. 7:14 NIV)  I remembered my days of riding my bike to work.  I lived five miles from my job, at the time. When I worked during the day I would ride my bike along a two lane road which was narrow.  On each side of the road there was a narrow gap between the edge of the road and the white line marking the side of the road. This small little pathway is where I would try to keep my bike tire.  Every now and then I would swerve out of it for a passing car or debris, etc. As quickly as I could, I would get back in my little lane. Every time I swerved out of it, I would think about the straight and narrow path.  I came to understand I’m incapable of staying on the narrow path all the time. The key isn’t to expect perfection, the key is to expect imperfection. When those imperfect moments happen, when the potholes of life hit you, don’t give up.  Instead get back on the path as quickly as possible. Jesus knows we are all going to continue to sin, even after we have started a relationship with Him. Jesus doesn’t expect us to be perfect, He just expects us to keep finding our way back to Him.

We find our way back to Him by confessing our sins.  Complete honesty can be difficult. I’m a WW member.  After my recent vacation I was on the verge of quitting.  I have 2 WW buddies who are my support system. I knew I had to tell them I wanted to quit,  I really thought they’d be on board. They were not. In fact, we all confessed that none of us had truly been following the program.  We hadn’t tracked everything we ate, none of us had. Tracking is a form of confession, it’s confessing the bag of M&M’s I ate, the glass of wine I drank, or the piece (or two) of birthday cake I enjoyed.  I love food, and I hate to have to track everything. Inevitably, what happens when I honestly track, I don’t eat as much. I’m conscious of my actions. I begin to realize how much I can consume if I’m not accountable.  Sin in our lives works the same way. Until we truly confess it, we can’t overcome it. We can’t see the effect sin is having in our lives, how it’s stopping us from living life to the fullest, until we become honest. Just like I have more energy the less weight I’m carrying on my bones, confessing sin lightens the load of our soul and draws us closer to God.

“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  Psalm 121:2 CSB

This entire Psalm was my Mom’s and my Aunt Margie’s favorite Psalm, at least that’s what they told me.  My Aunt Margie was my favorite aunt. I loved her more than my Mom at times. When I was a teenager and Mom wouldn’t let me do what I wanted to do, I told her I hated her.  I was that much of a brat. But Aunt Margie loved me, even when I was being a brat (and so did my Mom). Today is her birthday in heaven, tomorrow is the anniversary of when I met my husband. I always think, “He’s Aunt Margie’s gift to me from heaven.”  I’m dedicating today’s devotional to her. The impact she had on my life is too great to not share her with you. Each year as I get older, things she told me that didn’t make sense then are now beginning to make sense. I’m beginning to understand what she was trying to tell me.

I understand some of the deep pain my Aunt Margie endured during her lifetime. Before I was even born, her father died unexpectedly, she lost a child, and 2 of her siblings had died. I was barely four years old when she lost another brother to cancer.  I’m beginning to understand the deep faith that she had. A faith she lived more than she preached. My Aunt Margie loved like Jesus. She always had a warm hug to greet you. The first thing she would start doing is whipping up something good to eat, it typically included lots of butter and pepper.  Then we would sit at her table and talk. I would unload whatever the major problem was in my life and she would coach me through it. Aunt Margie didn’t hold punches, she told you like it was. If you went to her for advice, you got advice. What she had to say might not be what you want to hear, but it was always good.  She was also good at just listening if that was all you needed. I don’t ever remember Aunt Margie preaching to me or trying to tell me what to do. I just remember her loving me to the best of her ability. She was an amazing woman, who lived an incredible life filled with a faith that is rare. Her strength in the face of adversity is undescribable. She wasn’t perfect, no one is, but she was perfect to me.

I now think I know why Psalm 121 was read at both my Mom and Aunt Margie’s funerals.  They both truly did get their strength from the Lord. He was their help in time of need, He was their hope in time of mourning, He was their guiding light in the darkness of life.  Read the words yourself, see if they don’t give you strength:

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—

    where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

    the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—

    he who watches over you will not slumber; 

indeed, he who watches over Israel

    will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—

    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

    nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—

    he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore

“But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all people.”  Luke 2:10 CSB

I recently started Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).  BSF is an international organization, in over 70 countries, that has 1000’s and 1000’s meeting weekly, studying the Bible chapter by chapter.  The study is completely free, open to anyone. My first week I learned of its founder, Audrey Wetherel Johnson, a missionary to China. She was English. She spent three years in a Chinese internment camp.  Several years later she was in San Bernardino, CA. She spoke to a group of women at a local church. Afterwards, five of those women came to her, asking her to teach them the Bible. In that moment, unbeknownst to those women, a movement had just started.  Currently, over 350,000 people around the world are studying “Acts and Letters of the Apostles.” Interestingly enough, when you watch the short 7 minute video of Audrey’s life, she struggled with why God called her out of the mission field to teach 5 women the Bible.  She had no idea what was about to unfold in her life. She felt like she should be doing more than teaching a Bible study, but God had her exactly where he wanted her.  He knew exactly what He was doing. He was proclaiming the good news.

The good news of Jesus is something we should never be afraid to share.  But in reality we are, for good reason. One bad apple can ruin a reputation for an entire group.  For instance, recently my husband ran a tennis tournament. During one of the matches, there was a player who exhibited poor sportsmanship.  One of the worst moments was when he yelled at a player on the next court who was having entire body cramps. The Rescue Squad was working on him, apparently too loudly. The guy  yelled for them to “Quiet down, he was trying to play!” My husband had to tell him, as he was pouring water on this injured player, trying to help cool him down, to be quiet and stop playing.  This gentleman’s t-shirt said, “United in Christ.” Jesus healed the sick, He didn’t yell at them. But, for those who witnessed this guy on this particular day, Jesus did yell at the sick. Anyone who didn’t know Jesus, was just introduced to him by this guy’s actions.  People remember what people do, more than what they say. No less than 3 people commented to my husband about his actions and the t-shirt the guy was wearing after the match. This is not the good news our verse today is talking about.

The good news we are to share, and we can do so easily, is the good news Audrey shared.  A God who loves us so much He sent His Son to die so we could have a relationship with Him (John 3:16 NIV).  A God who told us our greatest commandment is to love God and Others (Mark 12:30-31 NIV). A God who will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5 NIV).  And God loves the bad apples, just as much as the good ones. In reality we’re all bad apples, sinners in need of God’s grace. And He gives grace freely, that is the good news we are to share.  His everlasting love and grace, without fear, let it be proclaimed.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His instructions have good insight.  His praise endures forever?” Psalm 111:10a CSB

I was raised with the fear of God in me.  My parents instilled a reverential awe for God in my life that no human has ever compared.  My parents taught me how to answer this question: Do you care more about what God thinks or people think?  Constantly, that was the question posed to me in my childhood, it is instilled so deeply in me, I doubt I will ever stop answering it.  Every situation I face in life, I ask the question, God or man. The answer is always the same, God. I know how powerful God is, I’ve seen His work in my life and in the lives of others.  I feel like I’ve spent my entire life chasing after God. The more I’ve learned about Him, the less I know. Which brings me to my ultimate point: We’re always at the beginning.

No matter how many times I’ve read the Bible, each day is like I’ve never read it before.  I always discover a verse I’ve never seen, yet know I have read. The other day, my husband and I were driving down a road we use regularly.  I noticed a restaurant I had never seen before but has obviously been there for decades. I discovered something new that had been right in front of my eyes.  Each time I open up the Bible and read, I discover something new. The verse I’ve read but never noticed, speaks directly to me. I feel like I’m at the beginning of the journey, there’s so much still to learn.  And when we apply that strategy to our fears, change the question slightly: God or fear? God is always bigger than any fear we have. David always slays the Giant, with God in his corner. We can do the same, we just have to start at the beginning.

When we start at the beginning with our fear, and that beginning is God, He will always provide the answer we need.  Solomon tells us, “There is nothing new under the sun” (Eccl. 1:9 NIV). There is no fear you have, God doesn’t have an answer for today.  We’re always at the beginning, each day is new. Each day we get to answer the simple question: God or fear? Which one are we going to let control us, the choice is ours. The beauty is, God is always waiting. Even if you’ve chosen fear, God is still there waiting for you to choose Him.

“Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.”  Mark 13:11 NIV

The verse above comes from a picnic  that occurred on the Mount of Olives between Jesus, Peter, James, John and Andrew.  The disciples asked Jesus when the end times are going to happen. This verse is part of Jesus’s answer because during the end times, Christ followers will be arrested and persecuted.  All of the disciples were persecuted and arrested during their ministries. John is the only disciple that lived to an old age, all the others died because of their ministries. The disciples thought they were living in the end times just like people today think we’re living in the end times.  Jesus never gave a date for the end of the world. Many scholars spend their lives debating this topic, but there is no answer.  Only God knows when the end of the world will be, could be tomorrow, could be a 1000 years from now. Jesus is telling us this when we eavesdrop on His conversation with the disciples.  I want us to look at His command to not worry about what you’re going to say, trust the Holy Spirit.

Glossophobia is the fear of public speaking, a fear shared between 75% of the population.  I think there is a fear even bigger than glossophobia, we all share. I think we all share a fear of talking about Jesus with others.  This fear can hinder us from sharing the greatest gift the world has ever received with those God loves. I have had many conversations with people who are afraid if they talk about Jesus, people will ask them questions and they won’t know the answer.  Jesus never said you had to have all the answers. In fact, Jesus didn’t say you had to talk about HIm all the time. Our greatest commandment according to Jesus, is to love God and love others (Mark 12:30-31 NIV). We don’t have to be afraid to talk to others about Jesus, we just have to love them and Jesus will naturally come out.  You cannot truly love others without first receiving Christ’s love. We are too imperfect, we need His perfection. The Holy Spirit does the talking.

In November of this year it will be 10 years since my friend Denny died.  He was a transplant patient. His death was very long and grueling. When his wife asked me to speak at his memorial, I had no idea what I was going to say.  I remember sitting in the pew, waiting to be called up to the pulpit, having no clue how I was going to start my talk. Just a few minutes before I was to speak I received a text with Philipians 4:8 in it.  I had just found my beginning. Philipians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (NIV).  My talk began with how Denny represented this verse to me. The Holy Spirit gave me the words in my time of need. He’ll do the same for you. Jesus tells us so.

“When it was evening of that first day of the week, the disciples were gathered together with the doors locked because they feared the Jews. Jesus came, stood among them, and said to them, “Peace be with you.”  John 20:19 CSB

The verse above comes after Jesus has been resurrected.  Mary Magdalene has gone to the tomb, found it empty and seen Jesus.  Always worth noting the first person Jesus appeared to was a woman, notable because women were not thought of highly, if at all in this culture.  Jesus gave women value in His ministry. Mary seeing Jesus at the tomb is significant to women. Mary does what Jesus tells her to do and tells the disciples.  The Jews are still on a rampage. The disciples are hiding from them, locked in a room when Jesus appears to them and offers Peace. The disciples are in the midst of a huge spiritual struggle.  Jesus is dead. What are they supposed to do now? This isn’t how things were supposed to go. They haven’t yet realized the significance of Jesus’s resurrection. Until this moment, when Jesus appears to them and said, “Peace be with you.”  

In the midst of crisis, Jesus appears, with Him, He brings peace.  He brought peace for the disciples in the midst of their greatest fear, losing Jesus.  He’ll bring peace to you in the midst of yours. An old Cherokee legend tells the tale of a grandfather teaching his grandson a lesson.  He tells him about 2 wolves everyone has inside of them. One wolf is filled with fear, anger and anxiety. The second wolf is filled with peace, love and joy.  The grandfather explained to his grandson, these two wolves are always fighting with each other, trying to gain control. His grandson, wide eyed, asked his grandfather, “Which one wins?”  His grandfather answered, “Whichever one you feed.” The disciples in the locked room were feeding their fear, anger and anxiety. When Jesus entered the room, He brought peace, love and joy.  He wins, hands down, He always does.

If we want to experience the peace Jesus has to offer, we have to decide which wolf we are going to feed inside of us.  Are we going to feed our fears by focusing on the nightly news, reading the daily newspaper or scanning social media? Or are we going to feed the wolf of peace by filling ourselves up with Jesus?  We have the choice, we can choose which wolf we are going to feed. Instead of watching the nightly news, listen to an uplifting podcast. Read the Bible instead of the paper. When I was working for Nautica, spending hours in the car each day, I used to listen to James Patterson books.  I always love a good mystery. But his books tend to be violent, I realized they were having a negative effect on me. I had to stop listening to them because I couldn’t sleep at night thinking about them. Ask my husband, years later, I still have nightmares on occasion. I was feeding the wrong wolf when I was listening to those books.  I have never had one nightmare from the thousands of sermon podcasts I listened to during those years, only peace. I had to choose which wolf I wanted to feed, and so do you. Which one will you feed today, the choice is yours.

“Lord, who will not fear and glorify your name?  For you alone are holy. All the nations will come and worship before you because your righteous acts have been revealed.”  Revelation 15:4 CSB

I discovered the “Fear Not Challenge” when I was almost halfway through writing October devotionals.  I wish I had found the challenge at the beginning of the month, now as I write, my favorite thing is picking the verse.  I have the bag on my desk, each morning I pick the verse, whatever it is becomes our devotional verse for the day. A pattern I’ve realized in these verses is the reminder of the relationship between fear and God.  The only fear we should have is of God. Phobeo, the original Greek for the type of fear referred to in this verse is defined as “be alarmed, be awestruck, beware, respect.” Solomon tells us in Proverbs, “fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (1:7 NIV).  Both of these verses are referring to the reverential awe we should have towards God. But why?

Job answers the question of why we are to fear God well:

“God stretches the northern sky over empty space and hangs the earth on nothing. He wraps the rain in his thick clouds, and the clouds don’t burst with the weight. He covers the face of the moon, shrouding it with his clouds. He created the horizon when he separated the waters: he set the boundary between day and night. The foundations of heaven tremble; they shudder at his rebuke. By his power the sea grew calm. By his skill he crushed the great sea monster. His Spirit made the heavens beautiful, and his power pierced the gliding serpent. These are just the beginning of all that he does, merely a whisper of his power. Who, then, can comprehend the thunder of his power?” Job 26:7-14 NIV

God is God, nothing else can compare to Him.  No fear can scare Him, no difficulty is too great for Him to overcome.  When we are fearful, it’s because we’ve taken our eyes off of His greatness.  When we let fear grip us, we’ve forgotten who the Creator of the Universe is and the personal relationship we have with Him.  I am as guilty as the next person of taking my eyes off Jesus. I am amazed at how quickly fear can grip me, how quickly I forget who God is.  I have to preach to myself, I have to remind myself who God is. In my mind, I try to recall any Bible verses I can possibly remember. Phillipians 4:13 is a simple verse to learn, but powerful in times of distress: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  Partner that verse with Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  These are a game plan for me. They are verses that have helped me face my fears and remember who God is. Use these, or find verses that you love to help you remember in moments of fear, who God is and what He can do.

“Hallelujah!  Happy is the person who fears the Lord, taking great delight in His commands.”  Psalm 112:1 CSB

God, commands Joshua to be strong and courageous in the face of his enemies (Joshua 1:9 NIV).  He commands us to do the same thing, knowing, He is with us always, we aren’t facing our fears alone (Deut. 31:6).  When we fear the Lord more than our personal fears, we can look fear in the eye, and watch it disappear. I had the opportunity to do just that when we went on our trip to Colorado.

When Ron and I first started talking about what I wanted to do for my 50th, I decided I wanted to overcome my fear of horses.  I’ve been afraid of them since I was a child. I slipped and fell while feeding a couple of horses apples. They were playing, all I remember seeing is the big hoof come down right beside my head, only inches away.  I’ve been afraid of them ever since. I didn’t know how, I just thought there are plenty of horses out west, surely it’s a good place to start. As the trip progressed, I forgot about my desire to overcome my fear, but God didn’t.  One day, while Ron and I were exploring on our bikes, I found an old windmill, I was trying to take pictures. Ron had ridden ahead of me, I was all alone. I was so engrossed in taking pictures, I didn’t see the big, black stallion in the corner, just a few yards away from me.  He was in a small shelter, drinking water. He turned, walking out towards me, that’s when I heard him. I looked at him, instant fear gripped me, but then his magnificent beauty took my breath away. I forgot to be afraid. Then I realized, he noticed me. As I looked in his eyes, I saw HIS fear of ME.  For the first time, a truth people have tried to tell me all of my life finally took root. Horses really are more afraid of us than we are of them. I looked my fear in the eye and I saw truth.

I’m not saying I’ll be out riding in the fields tomorrow, but I did take a step to overcoming my fear of horses by looking the Big Guy in the eyes.  We have to start somewhere if we are going to overcome our fears. We have to take a step towards our fear, rather than always running away from it. We have to stop hiding from our fear and letting it control us. Bringing our fears into the light is the first step to overcoming them.  When we do, we begin to realize, we never had anything to be afraid of in the first place. God is always with us, with Him, there is no fear, with Him we can stand strong, be courageous and look our fear in the eye.  In Him we can overcome.

“Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame; don’t be humiliated, for you will not be disgraced.” Isaiah 54:4a CSB

Webster’s Dictionary of 1828 defines shame as, “ A painful sensation excited by a consciousness of guilt, or of having done something which injures reputation; or by of that which nature or modesty prompts us to conceal. Shame is particularly excited by the disclosure of actions which, in the view of men, are mean and degrading. Hence it it is often or always manifested by a downcast look or by blushes, called confusion of face.”  Shame is painful, it causes us to conceal, it causes us to look down.  Humiliation does the same thing, but God is telling us to do the exact opposite in this verse.  He’s telling us to hold our head up high, trust in Him, we will not be disgraced. He asking us to believe.

I read a story on the Life is Good blog called Soul Sisters.  The article starts with this quote from Maya Angelou, “Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid.  Having courage means we face our fears. We are able to say, “I have fallen, but I will get up.” -Maya Angelou.   The story the article unfolds is about Berta.  She was 28 years old, skiing in Vermont when she had a tragic accident that left her paralyzed from the neck down.  She was told she would never walk again. She instructed all visitors, “I don’t want anyone coming in sad for me. I need laughs, not tears.”  Berta underwent a risky surgery 6 weeks after her accident which was successful. But she had to relearn everything, from rolling over and crawling to walking. She refused to look down, she kept looking up, no matter what her circumstances.  Berta focused on the good. As a result, she learned to walk again, she learned to bicycle and she got a job working with others who had similar hardships, helping them regain their lives.

Berta’s key to recovery was BELIEF.  Her words describe it better than mine ever could. “I have a lot of setbacks,” she says, “but I try to look at them as things that may ruin my hour, but not my day, or my week. Put ‘em in the rear view mirror and keep looking forward. When that first doctor way back told me I was unlikely to walk, I swore at him in my head. I immediately thought of people who walk and run marathons after they’re told that. You can’t always believe one doctor or one medical report. I always feel like there are options, possibilities, even when you don’t know what they are. You just have to be open to them. I know I’m lucky, but I do believe the first thing you can do for yourself is believe.”

Let’s start today believing with God, all things are possible (Romans 8:28).  God has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter what situation you’re facing today, God has the solution.  Don’t let shame, humiliation, or anything else stop you from moving forward with God today. Believe!