Honest Reflections

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Don’t conform.  Don’t do what everyone else is doing, just because they’re doing it.  My mother said it this way, “Just because everyone else jumps in a lake, doesn’t mean you have too.”  

Mob mentality is real:

Mob mentality, also called herd mentality, describes how humans adopt behaviors, buy merchandise, and follow trends based on their circle of influence.  It explains how one’s point of view can be easily altered by those around them.

We’re experiencing mob mentality right now with COVID. Fear and panic grips our world.  As I write, numbers are on the rise for the second time.  People’s fright levels rise every time the number of cases rise. Not conforming to the world is not just a daily battle, but a minute-by-minute battle.  Everyone has jumped into the lake of fear, but you don’t have too.  You can let God’s peace flow into your life, no matter what the rest of the world is doing.

Know God, know peace.

Transform your mind by letting God’s word fill it.  Memorizing scripture is key to finding peace in the minute-by-minute battle of life.  Satan is always trying to steal your peace.  But Jesus came to give you life:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV)

If you’re going to spend time memorizing scripture, this one is a good place to start:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7 NIV)

Life is short.  Whether you live 10 years or a 100, life is short.  Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from enjoying the known.  Enjoy the people God has placed around you.  Thank Him they are alive.  Praise Him for allowing You to have their love in your life.  Hug your children and grandchildren.  Everyday is a day that will never be again.  If you let fear lead your life, you will let the days slip away.  You will miss the people God has given you because you’re focused on your fear.  

Live!  Thank God for what you do have.  Lift up your prayer requests to Him.  Let His peace descend upon you as you trust Him.  Live this day.  Enjoy where God has planted you.  Enjoy the people He has planted around you.  Allow God’s peace to help you live life to the fullest; today! 

Know God, know peace.  

Question of the Day:

What is stopping you from experiencing God’s peace?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 24-25 NIV, Romans 12:1-21NIV, Psalm 22:19-31NIV, Proverbs 20:8-10 NIV

“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!” (Romans 11:33 NIV)

We waste time trying to understand God.  We never will.  If we accept that fact, we can embrace the unknown.  Instead of fearing the future, we can look forward to it in anticipation of what God will do in our lives.  Letting God’s will unfold in our lives means letting go of what we want. 

Let go, let God!

A few weeks ago during a prayer meeting, we discussed the unexpected.  The pastor talked about how none of us know what the day ahead holds.  This statement comes from a man who was shot five times, his son murdered while finishing a bathroom for a homeless veteran.  Serving the Lord on a Friday morning and tragedy befell them. The first thing he did when he woke up in the hospital was ask for his Bible and books on heaven. He gave that morning to God. I have never known a man of greater faith than my friend Mike.  He let go and let God.  

Each day we have the same choice.  We can choose to hold on to our unanswered questions, or we can accept God’s sovereignty in our lives:

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.” (Deut. 29:29 NIV)

Mark Batterson, a pastor I follow, introduced me to the “Deut. 29 File.”  In one of his messages, he told how he created this file for unanswered questions.  When something happens in his life he doesn’t understand, he writes it down and puts in the Deut. 29 file.  He knows, just like my friend Mike, he’ll never know the answer until he gets to heaven.  By putting the question in the file, he’s able to let it go and keep going.

Some people have jars for their unanswered questions.  They keep paper and pen handy for times when they don’t know what God is doing.  By writing it down and putting it in the jar, they are letting it go.  The physical action helps let go emotionally.  Personally, I have a journal and  a prayer board I use.  I post my prayers on the board until God answers, one way or another.  

Take time to find your own way to let go and let God.  For one friend, long walks in the woods is her time to talk to God.  For another friend, her art is her connection to God, each stroke releasing more and more to Him.  The ways to let our worries go to God vary greatly, but the connection is always the same: prayer.  Let go, let God!

Question of the Day:

What do you need to let go of today?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 21:1-23:21NIV, Romans 11:13-36 NIV, Psalm 22:1-18 NIV, 

Proverbs 20:7 NIV

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5 NIV)

Asking the right questions leads to insight.  Everyone has a story to tell.  Every story matters.  The longer we are on earth, the more entangled our stories.  The more entangled our stories, the deeper the waters of our hearts.

My 51st birthday is less than two months away.  I’ve begun to realize, in the past year, how deep the waters of our heart really are.  When I was younger, I would hear stories of people older than me dealing with issues that happened decades ago.  I never understood, until now, why.

Life’s events take time to process.

In June of 2014, I had a major car accident.  My mother passed away in February of that year. My nephew passed away in September.  In October, I was traveling for work, staying in Washington D.C.  The evening I arrived in our nation’s capital, I called home to my husband.  I immediately started interrogating him about his day.  In mid sentence, he stopped me.  He informed me I needed to quit my job.  His words flabbergasted me.  How could I quit my job of 16 years?  He explained why, “You think you’re handling life well, but you’re not.”  He was right, the stress of life was winning the battle with me.  The next day, I called my boss of over a decade and had a long talk.   She understood because she knew what I had been through.  We planned my exit from the company together.  

In the process of healing, I went to counseling.  I learned in those sessions, I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):

Post–traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.

My husband’s insight into the deep waters of my heart led me to healing.  The therapist’s insight into the events of my life gave me understanding.  PTSD, in my mind, was a war related condition for soldiers.  Until I entered therapy, I didn’t understand, I could have it too. My mother’s death came after a long battle with cancer. The car accident and my nephew’s death were traumatic events that affected me far deeper than I realized.  My therapist helped me deal with those situations.  She helped me heal because she asked the right questions.

Therapy is a path to self-understanding. Counseling is giving advice.  Understanding the difference between these two terms is essential.  Talking to my best friend and giving her my opinion is advice.  Talking to a therapist leads to self-discovery and healing from our past.

Insight reveals the deep waters of the heart.  Revelation brings truth.  Truth brings healing.

Question of the Day:

Who can help you have insight to the deep waters of your heart?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 19-20 NIV,  Romans 10:14-11:12 NIV, Psalm 21 NIV, Proverbs 20:4-6 NIV

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7 NIV)

God is always trustworthy.  People will break your trust.  No one, in their humanness, is completely trustworthy.  Not me, not you, only God.

“Built Ram tough” is a slogan used to sell trucks.  When I read today’s verse, Dodge’s commercial came to mind.   We trust our vehicles.  When we turn on the ignition, we trust they will start.  With the press of a pedal, we’re on our way to wherever.  We have a false sense of security that we are safe in our metal capsule, seatbelt across our body.  But the truth is, car accidents happen everyday.  Chariots falter.  Batteries die, tires blow, gas runs out. Chariots aren’t trustworthy.

A few years ago I was in a car accident.  I was on my way to work just before 6:00 a.m. The car I was driving was a rental.  Working in Fairfax, VA, just outside of Washington, DC traffic was light.  As I  approached the blinking yellow light, I slowed, but didn’t stop completely.  Still dark, I saw no headlights from either direction.  As I entered the middle of the intersection, a taxi cab out of nowhere, ran the red light.  He T-boned the car.  In slow motion, my McDonald’s coffee cup flew forward, splashing hot liquid everywhere.  The airbags deployed as I spun round and round in the intersection.  Everything happened quickly, yet in slow motion.  Neither of our chariots survived the crash.  

God is always trustworthy.

In the midst of losing my chariot, God was with me.  As the car slowed, a passer by was at my door.  He checked me for injuries and helped me to the curb.  The police and ambulance arrived.  My only thought, I want to go home.  I asked the police for a ride to the metro station.  Dazed and confused, I stood on the platform of the subway, not knowing what to do.  A kind business man told me which train to take to Union Station.  I arrived in time to catch the train home.  Three hours after I had been t-boned in an intersection, I was in my husband’s arms, finally on the way to the hospital.  No injuries.  My day’s journey had taken a radically different direction. 

Each of those people were God in the flesh to me.  The kind stranger who helped me out of the car.  The police officers who took me to the subway.  The businessman who helped me find the right train.  God provided angels every step of the way.  My car failed me, but God didn’t.

Life is a journey, God is our tour guide.  We don’t know what the day ahead will bring.  But we know the one who does.  In Him, we can trust.

Question of the Day:

Are you trusting God for the day ahead?

Further Reading:  2 Chronicles 17-18 NIV, Romans 9:25-10:13 NIV, Psalm 20 NIV, Proverbs 20:2-3 NIV

“For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” (Romans 9:15 NIV)

God has compassion for who He wants.  One of the hardest things to understand is God’s mercy and compassion.  From our human standpoint, we think certain people don’t qualify, others do.  Why do some people suffer beyond what we can imagine, while others seem to have perfect lives?  The ultimate question people ask:  Why do bad things happen to good people?

We have to accept hard truths in our lives.  One of them is that good people don’t exist.  We are all sinners by nature.  None of us deserve the mercy and compassion God has given us:

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8 NIV)

We are all sinners, saved by grace.

A second truth to accept, death is a part of life.  We struggle understanding why people have to die?  The younger someone is, the harder death is to understand. I have family members and friends who have lost children.  I’ve met mothers who have lost children to cancer before they reached their teen years.  I’ve sat with grieving parents who have lost children in car accidents, at gunpoint, or from illness.  None of those moments are easy for anyone.  The grief and heartache is palpable. Times like these, there are no words, just raw emotions words can’t explain.  Without life, death wouldn’t exist.

Where is God’s compassion and mercy when children die?  

We can’t understand such a complex question on this side of heaven.  Only God knows.  At such pivotal times, we have a choice.  We either trust God or we don’t.  We either believe God has a purpose or He doesn’t.  We choose whether God will work this heartbreak to the good, or He won’t. Every day, in every situation, we have a choice of what we are going to do.

When my nephew died, I chose to trust God.  When I tell people about that day, I talk about a pivotal moment.  Five minutes before I received the phone call telling me he had passed, my husband walked in the front door.  He had come home from work early.  His arms were there to hold me when I received the devastating news. He was there to drive me to the hospital, a half hour away.  God’s mercy and compassion for me in the midst of heartache was evident in those five minutes.  When I think back on the worst day of my life, my faith is strengthened, not weakened. 

God has compassion and mercy for everyone.  The problem is our perspective. 

Question of the Day:

Do you need a perspective changed today?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 14-16 NIV, Romans 9:1-24 NIV, Psalm 19 NIV, Proverbs 20:1 NIV

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31 NIV)

No one wins against God.  No matter what tricks or schemes people come up with to outwit God, they always lose.  God’s will always prevails.  No matter how dismal the circumstances may look, God always wins.

Jonah is a good example.  God gave  a divine message to Jonah for Nineveh.  For Jonah, doing what God commanded was difficult.  He didn’t want these people saved.  He didn’t feel like they deserved God’s second chance.  So Jonah ran.  He hopped on a ship and headed in the opposite direction.

His troubles had just begun.  While napping below deck, the wind and waves pick up.  The sailors pray to their gods to find out what the cause of the storm is.  They realize Jonah is the problem.  When they wake him up, Jonah tells him their only option is to throw him overboard.  They toss him into the sea.  A “huge fish” swallows him (Jonah 1:17 NIV).  Jonah had temporary residency in the fish’s stomach for the next three days and nights.  Jonah prays for a second chance.  The fish vomits him on shore.  He goes to Nineveh, gives them the message from God.  They repent, Jonah pouts. 

If God is for you, who can be against you.

God’s will for your life will always prevail.  Whatever He wants, God gets.  But often, we have to work to bring our hearts into alignment with what God wants.  Jonah tried to run, but ended up in the belly of a fish.  God had a mission for him.  Until Jonah accepted his mission, all his efforts were fruitless.  

People run from God all of the time.  I run from God.  His word contains 80% of His will for our lives.  He wants us to forgive others.  He wants us to pray for our enemies.  He wants us to put Him first in everything we do.  We’re to give back our firstfruits to God.  We’re not to lie, steal or cheat.  The list of things God wants us to do is clear.  All of them circle back to the great commandment: Love God, love others (Mark 12:30-31 NIV)

The truth is, most of the time, we know exactly what God wants us to do.  We don’t want to do it.  We find excuses.  We act like we don’t know.  We are Jonah.  Running from our mission, hoping God won’t notice.  But God knows.

None of us escape God’s watchful eye.  He knows who is running from Him.  He knows who is running to Him.  All of us have done both, and will do both in the future.  God is for us.  When we’re in His will, no one can come against us.

Question of the Day:

Are you running to or from God today?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 11-13 NIV, Romans 8:26-39 NIV, Psalm 18:37-50 NIV, Proverbs 19:27-29 NIV

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18 NIV)

Our struggles, God’s glory. 

Paul was honest.  He doesn’t hide the fact, following Christ isn’t easy.  Hardship is a part of a Christ follower’s life.  Hardship is a part of people’s lives who don’t follow Christ as well.  Hardship is a part of everyone’s life.  Some people just conceal their pain better than others.

Paul didn’t try to hide his pain.  He was honest about his struggles.  He glorified God with each one.  He laid his aches and pains at his Father’s feet, then he picked up his cross and kept going.  Paul never forgot what Jesus did for him on the road to Damascus.  On that dirt path, Paul turned his life over to Jesus.  He was never the same again.

Our struggles, God’s glory.

We cannot comprehend God’s glory.  We don’t have the capacity to understand His true magnificence.  Only when we join Him in heaven will we understand.  Until then, we are to wait patiently:

“Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies.  For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Romans 8:23-25 NIV)

What carries us through the struggles of today is the hope of Jesus.  Because of Him, our heavenly Father welcomes us into His arms..  When we die, they are wide open, ready to wrap around us, drawing us into the heavenly realm.  His words to us: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23 NIV).

This life and everything in it is temporary.  Whatever situation you’re facing today, it will pass.  Nothing lasts forever:

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:17 NIV)

When life is getting the best of you, remember it is temporary.  As Paul says, our troubles are “light and momentary.” 

COVID isn’t going to last forever. Viruses die over time as people become immune to them.  The economy will recover.  Jobs will become available.   We will have a new normal.  Life will change because of COVID, but it won’t stop.  Plexiglass is here to stay.  Masks aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.  Companies that make hand sanitizer are a safe investment.  We will adapt as needed, and keep going.

God’s glory is yet to come.  He will deliver us from all of our troubles at the appointed time.  Until then, we are to wait patiently, as we persevere.

Question of the Day:

In what situation do you need to remind yourself, it’s only temporary?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 8:11-10:19 NIV, Romans 8:9-25 NIV, Psalm 18:16-36 NIV, Proverbs 19:26 NIV

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15 NIV) 

We all do what we don’t want to do.  Even Paul struggled with this predicament.  Jesus is the only one who didn’t.  The definition for humanity should include imperfection.  

How many times a day do you do something you didn’t want to do, but for some reason, you just can’t help yourself?  

Food is a great example.  I open the refrigerator door, instead of eating the apple I eat the pudding.  When I look in the pantry, instead of opting for a handful of nuts, I choose a handful of tortilla chips…with queso.  I know, at that moment, I’m making the wrong decision, yet I do it anyway. Why?

Paul explains:

As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. (Romans 7:17-20 NIV)

Everyone struggles with sin.

My ongoing battle with gluttony, habitual greed or excess in eating, is evident on the scale.  Sometimes I’m winning the battle and the number goes down, some days I’m losing, the number goes up.  I lead an active lifestyle. My problem isn’t exercise, my problem is eating.  I enlist accountability partners, I track calories, yet the battle rages.  I’ve accepted that this is my thorn in my side:

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7 NIV)

Paul talks about the thorn in his flesh in his letter to the Corinthians.  Three times he prays and asks God to remove it, yet He doesn’t.  Paul accepts the thorn as part of his life which helps him stay humble.

Whatever sin we struggle with, God uses it the same way in our life. Pride rears its ugly head with little provocation.  We don’t need much to become conceited.  I hit one good shot in golf and I think I’m a professional.  The very next shot reminds me, I’m not. 

God knows our struggles will remain while we’re on this side of heaven.  We may not understand, but He does.   And He loves us anyway.

Question of the Day:

What thorn do you have in your side?

Further Reading:2 Chronicles 6:12-8:10 NIV, Romans 7:14-8:8 NIV, Psalm 18:1-15  NIV, Proverbs 19:24-25 NIV

“My steps have held to your paths;  my feet have not stumbled.” (Psalm 17:5 NIV)

Applying God’s word to our lives illuminates the path He wants us to follow.  We all have different paths.  Our purposes vary in life, but God doesn’t.  His word is unfailing and true.  The path is narrow, but the rewards endless:

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (Matthew 7:13-14 NIV)

The right path leads to life.

In a world full of choices, God simplifies the options.  Jesus gave us a Great Commandment: Love God, love others (Mark 12:30-31 NIV).  He also gave us the Great Commission:  Go and make disciples (Matthew 28: 19-20 NIV).  Whatever situation we are faced with, we can narrow our options by following Jesus’ words.  We choose to love people, or not.  We choose to share Jesus with others or not.  Every day, in every situation, we have the opportunity to choose how we respond.  

Sometimes we falter.  Sometimes we veer off the path. We don’t respond in love.  We choose not to share Jesus.  We miss our opportunity to let God’s light brighten someone else’s day. When we swerve from the path, just get back on it.

When I first started my career in retail, I managed a store in Williamsburg.  I was able to ride my bike to work.  Carrying my work clothes in my backpack, every morning I’d follow the same route.  The majority of the road was long and straight.  The asphalt had a white line that marked the side of the road.  A small “path” was created as a result.  Between the white line and the edge of the road was a gap a couple of feet wide.  I tried to keep my bike tire on the narrow path.  Every now and then I’d veer off the path, crossing the white line or going onto the dirt.  Whenever this happened, I’d get back on the path as quickly as possible.  When I think of “the narrow road” I think of those days riding my bike to work.

The narrow road is impossible to stay on all of the time.  Our humanity gets us off track every now and then.   Allow yourself grace.  Forgive yourself when you cross the white line.  Just correct your course, get back on the path and keep on going.

God knows we’ll falter, He just doesn’t want us to stop.  He wants us to keep going.  He wants us to keep trying.  He knows our hearts are in the right place.  Keep following your chosen path.  Just take one step, then another.

Question of the Day:

Have you veered off the path lately?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 4:1-6:11 NIV, Romans 7:1-13 NIV, Psalm 17 NIV, Proverbs 19:22-23 NIV

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart,  but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

God’s plans trump ours.  No one’s plans have worked out the way they thought they would.  Everyone has a different reality from what they thought.  

I recently watched a show on Apple TV called “Trying.”  A British comedy about a young couple “trying” to get pregnant.  In this scene, Nikki, the heroine is babysitting.  Her friend is having a baby, and Nikki is taking care of her daughter.  As they sit in the car eating ice cream, Nikki questions her young friend on her thoughts for having a sibling.  The girl isn’t happy, she has already realized, her parents don’t have as much time for her.  Nikki looks at her and says:

“You can’t get too attached to what you think your life’s going to be, that’s where your problems start.”

Nikki is a fictional character with wisdom.  All of us need to accept, life never goes as planned.  Ask any bride about her wedding day, she’ll tell you what went wrong.  The seniors who graduated in 2020 have learned this lesson young.  And when you talk to someone who has lived a long life, they can share story after story about the unexpectedness of their days.

God’s plans trump ours.

If we’re going to enjoy life to the fullest, we need to learn to ride the wave.

Where I live in Virginia, I’m close to the ocean.  I was 21 years old the first time I saw the massive body of water.  Thirty years later, I’m still in awe of the ocean’s raw power.  In the summer, we spend most weekends at the beach.  One of my favorite things to do is body surf.  Body surfing is catching a wave at just the right moment and riding it into shore.  You feel the power of the water as it carries you with it.  You can’t fight the waves, you can only go with them.  Literally, “go with the flow” of the tide.  At the end, when I’m dumped on shore, I feel exhilarated.  For a moment, I’m one with the ocean, moving in sync with its energy.   No other world exists, just pure pleasure in the moment.

Life is like the ocean.  Sometimes the water is calm, barely any waves.  Other times, the winds stir up and the waves are violent.  When the waves are crashing around you, the only thing to do is ride out the storm.  

We make our plans, but God’s plans trump ours. In order to enjoy the ride, we have to accept the truth.  God’s way is always best.  When we submit our lives to Him, He’ll teach us to surf.  We’ll learn to ride the waves, trusting Him for our destination.

Question of the Day:

What waves are you fighting today?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 1:1-3:17 NIV, Romans 6:1-23 NIV, Psalm 16 NIV, Proverbs 19:20-21 NIV