“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
I have found a new thing I love about truth, I don’t have to remember it. Seriously, I have realized as I get older I’m forgetting more and more. I talk to so many people in a day. I answer so many emails and texts. I can’t possibly remember them all. As long as I’ve told the truth, I know the facts will always be the same.
Have you ever told a “little white lie?” Have you learned what a pain it can be to keep up with it? For instance you have to remember the lie. You have to remember that you told them you couldn’t go to their kids recital because you had a dentist appointment. You have to remember you said we can’t make dinner because so and so is working late.
Lies are hard to keep up with, the truth isn’t.
With truth you don’t have to remember, you don’t have to keep up with it. The truth always stands true. Just like the truth of Jesus, over 2000 years later, it stills stands strong. Tested time and time again, always true.
The beauty of the truth is if you forget part of the details you can always look them up. You look up the dentist appointment on the calendar. You won’t have to remember what day you worked late because you actually did. We always remember what we do more than what we say.
I’m becoming way more comfortable with saying, “You’re going to have to help me remember.” Or “Where did we leave off last time we talked?” I confess to even having to say, “I confess, I don’t remember the conversation.” It’s so hard, because I don’t want anyone to feel like I don’t care. I don’t want anyone to feel like I don’t love them. When I can’t remember our conversation, I don’t want them to interpret it as I don’t care.
On the other hand, I also don’t want them to let me off the hook too easily. I know I’m not God, but I need to work at doing better. We can always do better, that’s the beauty of life. I always want to be doing better.
Sometimes it’s hard telling the truth. It’s hard telling someone you don’t remember what you last talked about. It is hard telling someone you’re frustrated with them or you’re upset with them. It’s hard to tell someone you just don’t want to go. None of us want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Here’s the truth, being lied too hurts more every time over being told the truth in love.
The key to telling the truth is telling it to the best of your ability in love. That is the part we can always get better. We can always love better than we did yesterday. I know I am constantly being reminded I can love better than I did a minute ago. The only way I can love better is to keep God in the forefront. He is the only way I can love well. He is the only way I can tell the truth in love. He is the only one who can help me continue to do better each day, hour and minute.
Jesus came to tell the truth:
“You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”
I’m grateful it is Jesus I’m following. He sets the right example. Nobody told the truth in love better than Jesus, for obvious reasons. I’ve learned a lot from Him. I’ve got a long way to go, but I’m grateful one of the things He has shown me is how to tell the truth in love.
I’m working on it God, I’m working on it!
Author: Beth Morrison
I Pray Best When I'm Sweating
“And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.” Luke 22:44
I had an unusual day today. It was typical because I had booked myself solid all day long. The only time I had between appointments was travel time to and from my destination. What made today unusual was that my first task of the day was unloading a pile of dirt for my husband. This meant I would be dirty and sweaty for the rest of my day, with no time for a shower.
It’s typically not a problem except today was my scheduled meeting with my Campus Pastor. I didn’t want him to think I was being disrespectful because of my appearance. I popped him a quick text explaining my day. I explained I may not be looking my best by the time I made our appointment.
It was his response that prompted this blog. He replied, “Sweating for the Kingdom”. To which I responded, “Amen. I pray best when I’m sweating.” I truly meant it. It got me thinking about how much I do pray when I’m sweating. I’ve been pondering that thought all day.
When you are sweating you are typically exerting above average effort. For instance, if it’s a hot day outside and you are sweating, your body is working harder than normal to keep you cool. When I’m playing a tennis match and losing, I pray a lot more for strength than when I’m winning. When life is going along status quo, it’s easy for me to not talk to God as much. The minute something happens though, I want Him there and on it.
Jesus was praying so earnestly the night before His crucifixion He actually had drops of blood in His sweat. He knew what was coming the next day. He was in serious conversation with His Father about it. There really is a medical condition called Hematidrosis, it explains how there can be blood in your sweat. It has to do with the tiny blood vessels that surround the sweat glands. You have to be praying pretty hard to make it bleed.
That’s what happens when life brings us to our knees. When the unexpected happens. When it leaves you with no where to turn. When life turns up the heat and we start sweating, it’s often the exact same time we start praying.
It’s interesting how we ignore God when the temperature is comfortable. The minute the heat starts to rise and life becomes uncomfortable, we want Him right there waiting for us. The good news is, He will be there when we call:
“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3
The bad news is, what do we miss on the days we don’t call on Him?
I personally can’t go a day without God. Whether the temperature is perfect or not, I need Him. I’ve disciplined myself to spend time with Him every day, usually in the morning. Not saying I’m a saint, God knows better than anyone I’m not. Just saying I have worked time with God into my day. It helps me to do a Bible reading plan. If nothing else, I’m always reading through the Bible in a year. I always start on Jan. 1 and end Dec. 31. My favorite thing over the holidays is picking out my new plan. This year my husband and I are reading it together. It’s been awesome.
That being said, my most connecting times with God are still when I’m sweating. When life is doing a full court press and I feel like I have no where to turn. Nothing brings me to my knees faster than that.
I’m beginning to thank God for the sweat. I had never really thought about it until today. Let’s face it, most people don’t enjoy sweating. We don’t enjoy hard times either. What we do enjoy is the peace we find in God during those times. We enjoy His calming nature in the midst of the storm. We love the gentle breeze of His Spirit that cools us off when it’s too hot. We grow closer to Him during the times we’re sweating more than any other time.
I wasn’t lying today when I said, “Amen! I pray best when I sweat!” Turns out I really do!
Change of Perspective
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6 NIV
I am starting this post as I sit between practice courts 1 & 2 at the US Open. I’ve been watching world number one Rafael Nadal practice for the past 1/2 hour.
This is the first time I’ve come to this tournament as a coach. It has struck me how it has changed my perspective drastically. The last time I was here I was a player. I viewed it as a player.
As a player, you are only thinking about yourself. How can I apply this to
my life? How can I be better?
As a coach, you’re thinking about others. How can I apply this to my students? How can I make them better?
As a player, the pictures I took were for me. The videos were for me. As a coach they are for my students. I’m getting all I can so I can take it back to them. So I can help them start out right. So as they grow into the game they will have the right foundation.
Being a player helped me learn and apply it to myself, as a result I can help others do the same.
My walk with Christ is similar. I have to get in the game, read the Scriptures, figure out what God is telling me. I have to learn how to study it and apply it to my life. The more I do this, the easier it is for me to help others do the same.
I love learning God’s word and applying it. I love even more helping others do the same.
Here’s the caveat, in order to be a good coach, I’ve got to keep
playing the game. I’ve got to keep teaching myself so I can then teach others.
Life is the same way. Every day I’m faced with new challenges. Every day I seek God to help me deal with them. He always has a solution. Often it is not at all what I would think, but always there.
He never wastes it. What He teach’s me, He often gives me the opportunity to share with others. To help them deal with the same thing. As long as I stay open to His leading. As long as I stay hungry for His word and humble in His presence, He can use me. Not always the easiest thing to do, but definitely worth it.
The most important part is getting the right foundation so you can build on it. Start them out right and they will grow the right way.
Are you building the right foundation? It’s always the first step!
"Lord what does faith mean now?"
“Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.” Hebrews 1:1
I’m reading this book “Job and the Mystery of Suffering” by Richard Rohr. It’s really a very deep book. I can only read a few pages or sometimes even paragraphs at a time before I have to put it down to think about what it’s saying. Full transparency, my husband will probably explain it to me at some point.
I didn’t make it very far tonight before I stumbled across this little gem, “Faith definitions grow old as we move through our lives…Lord what does faith mean now?” It stopped me immediately.
That’s it exactly!
Faith does change as you grow older. I wouldn’t define faith at all today like I would of twenty years ago. Twenty years ago I was a much different person than I am today. For one thing, I wasn’t going to church. It had been years since I had set foot in a church.
In fact, I was a flight attendant back then, a little longer than twenty years ago. I definitely was running from God in those days, as fast as I could. Never got away from Him though. Looking back, even though I was running from Him, He was holding onto me! In fact, it wasn’t until I stopped running and returned to Him that I realized that.
But I digress, the first thing I thought of was the first time I emailed Ron. That took a very large amount of faith for me to do. I had been hurt so many times before. I was comfortable being single. Had a good job, lots of friends, my Mom was my roommate. Life was good. I didn’t need to put myself back out there just to get rejected again.
But he was so different than any other guy I had ever dated. So kind. So gentle. Never pushy. I hadn’t had anyone treat me like he did. Even more importantly, like he still does.
The faith I needed that day is totally different than I the faith I need today. You know why, because taking that first step of faith led me to where I am today. If I hadn’t trusted God that day. Trusted that He loved me no matter what. That He would never reject me or hurt me. I was never alone, He is always with me. If I hadn’t trusted those promises, I wouldn’t of had the courage to face the possibility of being rejected once again.
The point is, after I took that first step of faith, then I took another one, and another one. I’m still taking faith steps today. That’s why I love to start my day out praying. Lifting up to God what the day ahead holds helps me walk more solidly, knowing there isn’t anything He can’t handle. Knowing He orders my steps, He prepares my way, He leads me where He needs me. My whole life is lived on faith. I don’t think I could live any other way, nor do I want too.
God rocks!
Church Isn't a Building!
“For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” Romans 12:4-5
I love my church, beyond words. I love my pastor. I love the campus pastors. I love the people I get to love on and meet because of them. It’s a wonderful place. There is always a seat next to me available if you want to join me. It’s a great place to meet Jesus.
The last three weeks, my husband and I have been traveling. I don’t diss church just because I’m not at home. As much as I love my church, I also believe being in church is so important when we’re not at home, we always find a church to visit. Church is not a building, church is the people who fill it.
The amazing part of visiting churches while we’re gone is the ability to briefly connect with other believer’s. Other’s that are persevering and pushing through the hard times, because there are always hard times. Don’t be fooled. Christ didn’t promise a rose garden, Christ told the truth:
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
I have been reflecting on the churches we have visited this summer. They are all so different, but one thing remains the same, Jesus. They are all seeking and loving Jesus. I found Jesus everywhere we went.
Hilton Head Island Community Church is the first church my husband and I attended as a married couple. That is where we went on our honeymoon. We were married on a Friday night. We left on Saturday and we kicked off our honeymoon by going to church. They were doing a sermon series on marriage. I don’t think that was a coincidence. I love going back every chance we get. I love that it is the same lead pastor. I love that his wife is still leading worship. I love that this year, they are expanding. I love that they are buying a new building and they are creating a community center. I love how God is working in their church.
Life Community Church is where we went next. It is a church I helped plant 11 years ago. This church has a huge part of my heart, because of the people. Mike and Lynda changed my life. I can’t put into words what their love for me, truly unconditional has done. When they were called to plant this church, I knew I was called to help them. I can’t put into words what they mean to me, or LCC. In February of this year, their lives were changed forever. As Mike and Bryan, his son, were finishing a home for a homeless vet, they were robbed at gunpoint. Mike was shot five times and Bryan was killed. Bryan left behind a beautiful wife and daughter. I cannot put into words how devastating this loss has been. Bryan was their worship leader. As I was helping set up for church, because that is what we do when God gives us the opportunity to worship with them, I wondered why there were so many boxes of tissues? Then I realized, this church sheds a lot of tears. This church is in the depths of grieving. And Jesus is there. He is in the midst of their grief. He is comforting them in ways that only He can. Jesus is there.
Last weekend, we had the privilege of worshipping in Harligen, TX with our Uncle Earl. I loved their church! The people were so welcoming and inviting. They have an incredible homeless ministry. They put out food every Sunday morning. The homeless in the area come and partake. The love of Jesus was so strong in this church. And they have Holy Yoga! I truly wish we were there long enough for me to take the class. But wow, did I feel the love of Jesus! I just have to brag on Uncle Earl, he inspires me. He checks in every week at church to invite people to come with him. He runs the elevator, but it’s so much more than that. The conversations that take place on those elevator rides, not a word is wasted. Love is shared. My favorite part was the elderly lady that sat next to me. When we started to sing the hymns this beautiful soprano voice rose from beside me. I saw a glimpse of her youth as I heard her sing the words. Her love of the Lord flowed so freely from her lips. It was a divine appointment to sit beside her this past Sunday.
I love my church. Beyond words. I miss it when we aren’t there. I’ve listened to every message I missed while we were gone. I’m grateful to be a part of it, more than words can say. I’m also very grateful that God is alive. I’m grateful wherever I go, He is there. I’m encouraged to worship with others and know God is there.
Church is so much more than a building. Church is the people who are seeking God. Who are persevering, who are enduring. Church is us. Wherever we go, whatever we do, whoever we are with, church is us!
God is always there, no matter what. It’s up to us to remember that! It’s up to us to look for Him!
Becoming Me
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
Soren Kierkegaard was a Danish philosopher that lived in the 1800’s. Much of his work deals with the issues of how one lives as a single individual. I always find his quotes fascinating. Last week I heard this one: “Now with God’s help, I shall become myself. ”
This quote is worth taking time to stop and ponder. I think it has quickly become one of my favorite quotes. I can do nothing without Jesus. Any time I try to do it on my own I falter. The minute I ask Jesus into the situation, I succeed.
I want to become who God created me to be. I’m learning I have a special purpose, even though it may not be clear to me. Often times, the only actual thing I know is the next immediate step I am to take. I love watching as those steps unfold into God’s plan. I love when I look back over my path I see God’s handiwork. I love that in every new day I am changing, I am growing, I am becoming myself.
I’ve talked often about how I have started praying over my calendar. Just this week, I was reminded of how God is the one who truly makes my appointments. He takes things off which need to come off. He adds things in which need to be added. This week he freed up time for me to spend with Him. Something I desperately needed beyond my regular daily routine. Time to sit as His feet and lift up to Him my struggles. Time to write them all down, to organize my thoughts. To hear what He wanted me to do.
He arranged an impromptu time with friends who spoke words of life into me. I had prayed earlier in the day for clear direction. As I sat with them talking, unbeknownst to them, they answered that prayer. They helped me find the direction I was so desperately seeking. God used them to help me become myself.
I started my journey with God as a child. I accepted him into my life when I was 12 years old. The faith of a child. I didn’t really understand what it all meant, but I knew I needed Jesus. As I grew and life started to bombard me, I lost my child like faith. I veered from the straight and narrow. It took me years to find my way back. However, since I returned to Jesus I have become a completely different person.
I have learned grace. I have learned truth. I have delved into my past to confront issues which needed to be addressed. I’ve become more loving. I’ve developed a life motto, “Love God, Love others”. I have a life verse(s) now:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
It has given me purpose. I have found direction. I have become myself. I am still becoming myself. Everyday as I walk with Jesus, He helps me become me.
My prayer for you, is with His help you will become you!
Always on His Mind
“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
I heard this quote a few week ago, “There is never a moment God is not thinking about you.” Erwin McManus. It has encouraged me ever since. It comes to my mind often at the oddest times.
Like right now, I’m writing this blog from 36,000 feet in the air. I don’t think I will ever get used to modern technology. It has become harder and harder to unplug. As an ex-flight attendant, flying isn’t one of my favorite things to do. I managed in my brief time flying the friendly skies to actually develop a fear of flying. Times like this it is reassuring to know I’m always on God’s mind. I’m thankful He is where ever I go. Always thinking about me. Always available.
Truly though, it’s a hard concept to grasp. There are so many people in this world. He is always thinking of all of them. He is always working, creating connections, organizing meetings. Moving forward.
I’m listening to this book, “The Power of Habits: Why We Do What We Do in Life and in Business”. Truly fascinating. Most of our lives are lived by habits and we are completely unaware of it. Companies and organizations aren’t. They have entire teams working non-stop analyzing our every move. Target, for example, sends personalized brochures to individuals strictly based on their buying habits. They can actually tell if someone is pregnant and when their due date is, just off of what they purchase.
God doesn’t need a computer program to know our habits. We’re always on His mind. Last week I heard a great message at Life Community Church. We were visiting our friends who started the church. There was a guest speaker, Thomas Dixon. His message was tiled “The Life, Death and Resurrection of Thomas Dixon”. He shared his testimony with us. How he was raised in Chicago, not in the best neighborhood. His 30 year battle with drugs and alcohol. How he came to new life in Jesus. It started at the age of 16 when he turned his back on God. He said he lost the next 12 years of his life to his addiction. One thing he realizes now, is that even though he turned his back on God, God never turned his back on him.
He gave example after example of how God was there, in the midst of all he was doing. The problem was he couldn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. It reminded me of a 10 year period in my life when I did the same. I turned my back on God. I knew what God wanted me to do, being raised in the church. I was determined to do the exact opposite. I caused a lot of pain to myself, but I can clearly see as I look back, how God was with me the entire time. Always there, always loving me, always trying to get my attention.
He really was thinking about me the whole time, even though I wasn’t thinking about Him. It breaks my heart for the time I lost with Him during that period of darkness. God even gave me grace with that thought. He led me to this verse, and it immediately brought me comfort:
“The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost
to the swarming locusts, ” Joel 2:25
He has and is redeeming those years in my life. I am able to help others by sharing the lessons I learned. I am a living witness as they see the transformational change in my life. Actions do speak louder than words. It truly is a miracle.
Once again, it reminds me, I am always on His mind. I may not think He’s listening, but He is. I may not feel His presence but it is there. I may not understand what He is thinking, but it is good. My human heart has a hard time understanding how He is able to think about me that much. The truth is, I don’t have to understand, I just need to believe.
What about you? Is He redeeming the years from your past? Look back over different times in your life. See if you can pinpoint where He was reaching out to you, but you missed it. One guarantee is true, He loves you and He’s always thinking about you.
Amen to that!
Don't Assume You Know
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
I honestly can’t remember which book I was reading that talked about not assigning thoughts to people. In other words, don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking, especially about you. We project our thoughts and feelings onto someone else. I’ve been pondering this for weeks. I’ve realized I do it without even realizing it.
For instance, when I was teaching the tennis serve to a student. She was having a hard time with her toss. I know how frustrating it can be so I assumed she was frustrated. When I said something to her, she wasn’t frustrated at all. She hadn’t even noticed her toss was off because she was still hitting the ball. She was just happy to hit the ball. I was completely wrong about what she was thinking.
I’m often wrong when I think my husband is hungry because I’m hungry. I’m wrong when I think he must be cold because I’m cold, or tired because I’m tired. I’m wrong when I think a friend is irritated at me because she hasn’t instantly responded to my text.
In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) this tendency is referred to as a mind-reading error which is the belief that you know what someone else thinks or feels. When you act upon that assumption and it is wrong, problems can occur in the relationship. For instance, people may make accusations based on their assumptions: “I know you think my idea is stupid—you’re such a critical person!” or “You would rather be with her than with me.”
Often what a person sees in others is their own thoughts and feelings reflected back at them. If they are self-critical, they believe others are critical of them. If they are insecure, they believe others couldn’t possibly like them or consider them competent.
It really is a struggle to not assume you know what someone else is thinking. I find myself battling this often. I have begun to recognize when I am doing this. I’ve found one easy way to catch myself is when I’m assigning a negative thought to someone. “She’s mad at me.”, “I’m bothering her.” etc. These quickly tell me I’m doing some mind reading. I remind myself I don’t know. Don’t make assumptions.
Even more challenging is to realize we don’t know what God is thinking. We automatically assume He’s upset with us for this or that. We think there is no way He could forgive us for whatever sin we’ve committed. We often think other people deserve His blessing but we really don’t. None of those statements are true. His word tells us He loves us (John 3:16). He forgives us (Psalm 103:12). We are the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8). He wants to bless us. (Psalm 20:4).
It’s true we don’t know what other people are thinking about us, but we can know what God thinks. When we spend time in His word we quickly realize how much He loves us. We may not know what He is up too, often we don’t. We don’t need to know that. We trust it is good, no matter what the circumstances look like. What we do need to know is how much He loves us. All of us.
I’m working on giving up the mind reading. Instead, I’m trying to focus on what I do know. God loves me, unconditionally. I’m to love others the same way. I find loving others, no matter what, helps me give them the benefit of the doubt. I stop assuming the worst, instead I look for ways to love them. That is way more fun and a lot less frustrating.
Keep Your Promise
“But let [a]your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” Matthew 5:37a
How hard do you work at keeping the promises you make to other people? Do you put the same priority on the promises you make to yourself? I have a feeling you don’t. I can definitely tell you I don’t. It wasn’t until I was listening to the book “Girl Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis I even realized it was a problem.
I spend so much time letting my “yes” be “yes” and my “no” be “no” for others, but spend no time doing it for myself. As pointed out in the book, the reason is simple, I’m not putting myself on my priority list. I’m putting taking care of others ahead of taking care of myself. The truth is, I can’t take care of others if I don’t take care of myself.
That’s hard to swallow. It is also hard for me to swallow that I am a priority. I have spent so much time training myself in the JOY principle: Jesus, Others, Yourself it seems wrong to move myself up the list. But is it really moving myself up the list or being able to accomplish JOY better?
I didn’t really consider it a promise to myself, rather a goal for this year, but I committed to doing two classes a week. A realistic goal I can achieve. It’s turned into doing Hot Yoga three times a week. I’m seven months in and I am stronger and healthier now than I was a year ago. I am able to care for others better because of this one “promise”. My joints aren’t hurting when I get up in the morning. I can walk without limping. I’ve lost weight. I even sleep better. All of these things make me a much nicer person to be around. I’ve made good health a priority. I’ve made my good health a priority and the rewards are paying off.
When you make promises to others do you rush into them or do you take time to think it through? When we don’t make promises lightly to others, it enables us to make sure we can keep them. It’s no different when you make a promise to yourself. Whatever it is, make sure it’s realistic and doable.
Here’s an example of the latest promise I have made to myself: fine tune my diet. I’ve been slipping on my eating goals. I need to get back on track. I’ve been telling myself for weeks I needed to do this, yet I haven’t done it. Thanks to a good friend who has helped me understand what I need to do, I now have a promise I can keep.
She pointed out to me there are four components of eating healthy: Planning, Shopping, Cooking and Consuming. After many conversations, I realized my downfall is in the planning process. I definitely do not have a problem consuming. My husband does the cooking (yes I am very grateful). What woman doesn’t love shopping? However I’m failing to plan which is sabotaging all of the other four parts.
Here’s how I am going to keep this promise to myself. I have made reminders. Wednesday is my planning day. I am to come up with a meal plan for the following week. Thursday is the day my friend is going to hold me accountable to completing Wednesday. Friday is shopping day. Sunday is meal prep day. Then let the consuming begin. I’ve made a promise to myself and I’m determined to keep it.
What promise have you made to yourself you haven’t kept? What can you do today to start keeping it?
The Enemy Within
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” Matthew 5:44
We all know we are to pray for our enemies, but have you ever thought the enemy you should be praying for is you?
I’m reading a fascinating book titled “Boundaries for Your Soul” by Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller. It focus’s on the battle we fight from within ourselves. Our anxieties and overwhelming thoughts which have the power to paralyze us. Immobilizing us from living our lives to the fullest, which is what Jesus wants for us. (John 10:10)
I started reading the book because of it’s subtitle; “How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies”. Who doesn’t want that? My thoughts can drive me crazy. Controlling them can be nothing short of miraculous sometimes. I was actually battling separation anxiety. I was looking for solutions.
I’ve found so many insights already and I’m only half way through. The biggest of which is learning to love the parts of me which are not my favorite. For instance my anxiety. The book helps you identify what is causing the unwanted emotion and learn to befriend it. It makes me think of this quote from Abraham Lincoln:
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”
It really is a revolutionizing thought if we apply it to the parts of ourselves we’re least fond. I’m aware my separation anxiety began when my father died when I was a teenager. I learned early what it is to lose someone who plays such a pivotal role in your life. As a result, I spent much of my 20’s pushing people away because I didn’t want to go through pain like it again.
Inevitably I learned, no matter how hard I try, I can’t live without people. We are designed to live in community. We are designed to love each other. We are designed to suffer loss. It’s all a part of life.
How do I befriend my anxiety? By praying for it. By learning to accept, no matter what I do it is always going to be a part of me. By understanding it does serve a purpose. It isn’t the enemy. It’s my mind helping me to cope with loss.
As I’ve grown older and encountered more loss, the anxiety has stayed with me. In February, when I lost a dear friend far too soon it reared it’s ugly head once again. I have befriended it though. It has helped me understand the meaning of this verse:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
None of us know how many days God will give us. We don’t know how many days we’ll have with the people we love. My anxiety helps me remember those two truths. It has helped me realize it is important to live at peace with everyone to the best of my ability, because I don’t know how long I will get to love them.
I love this quote I read on Facebook the other day. Not sure where it originated, but it went something like this:
“Love the people God gives you well for you don’t know when He’ll need them back.”
My anxiety helps me live in the moment. It reminds me all I have is here and now. It gets me up at 5:00 in the morning to make lunch for my husband when he has a long day at work. It makes me hug my brothers when I see them. It helps me tell people I love them easier. It makes me write the note, send the text, make the call.
My anxiety helps me love better in the here and now. I have learned to accept it will always be a part of my life. I am beginning to appreciate how it adds to my life. How it gives me the 20 seconds of courage I need sometimes to show someone I care. To open up my arms and hug. To lift the corners of my mouth and smile. To live.
I started praying for my enemy. It turned out the enemy was me.