Honest Reflections

“Let them praise the name of the Lord, for at his command they were created, and he established them for ever and ever—he issued a decree that will never pass away.” (Psalm 148:5-6 NIV)

Love creates.  God created us because of His love for us.  He pours His love into us so we can pour it into others.  When we love others as God intends, we become creators.  We create new relationships with healthy boundaries.  We create homes for our friends and families where they feel safe.  We create conversations that give life to others.  We create moments that change people’s lives forever. We create because God’s love pours through us to others.

Love creates.

God created life.  He’s given us the ability to create life by having children.  The love parents feel for their children, as intense as it feels, is nothing compared to the love God has for us.  I think of the people I love most in this world.  I can’t imagine God could love them more than I do.  But the truth is He does. 

I have a common joke I tell when describing my life to people.  I spent my 20’s doing everything I could to screw my life up.  I spent my 30’s healing from the hurt I caused myself in my 20’s.  My forties were spent reaping the rewards of the work I did in my 30’s.  And yes, I had ten years of work to do.

I had to learn to have healthy boundaries.  Applying God’s word to my life, day by day is how I learned.  I remember the first time I said no to sleeping with a man I was dating. I met him in church.  I had just started following Jesus wholeheartedly.   When he realized I really meant no he freaked out.  He immediately informed me of all the other women who were happy to accommodate him.  He couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t.  I ended the relationship.  For the first time in my life, I set a healthy boundary.  Because I did, I saved myself so much heartache.  

God creates newness in our life every day.  Each time we take a step of faith towards Him, He creates something new.  His light begins to shine through us to the darkness of the world.  God’s reflection in us draws people to us.  God’s love has no bounds:

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” (1 John 4:16 NIV)

God’s love lives in us. The closer we draw to Him, the more love we will have to give.  God’s love created you.  His love creates newness every day.

Question of the Day:

How has God’s love created newness in your life?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 17:1-18:12 NIV, Acts 20:1-38 NIV, Psalm 148:1-14 NIV, Proverbs 18:6-7 NIV

“The words of the mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a rushing stream.” (Proverbs 18:4 NIV)

Wise words give life to all that hear them.  The NIV Theological Study Bible describes “deep waters”this way: a person’s words and plans may be unfathomable, inaccessible, not beneficial, and potentially dangerous.  The words of the wise however, supply living water with ready accessibility.  In other words, frivolous speech does no one good.  Wise words give an ever lasting supply of life to those who listen to them.

My mother was a wealth of wisdom in my life.  She had a knack for summing up a situation with few words.  When I landed a job as a Flight Attendant after I graduated college, her advice was simple.  “Don’t let any pilots in your hotel room.”  I can still see her face as she spoke those words to me.  She was right.  I didn’t follow her advice.  I learned a very hard, very painful lesson because I didn’t.  I was a single woman who was easily taken advantage of in those days.  But thanks to my mother and her wisdom, I learned quickly to follow her advice.  

Wise words give life.

Wise words are easily accessible to us.  All we have to do is ask:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5 NIV)

We acquire wisdom from God by asking Him for it.  Part of my daily prayer:  “Lord, give me your wisdom and discernment for the day ahead.”  I know, without His help, my words are deep waters, frivolous, not helping anyone.  But when I ask for His intervention, I’m amazed at what comes out of my mouth.

Twice this past week I was talking to friends on the phone.  They were sharing with me things going on in their lives.  Both times I had no words, I felt a nudge to pray because I didn’t know what to say.  I didn’t want to offer frivolous words, I wanted to offer wise words that would help them.  But I had none.  So I prayed.  I just lifted up our conversation to God, while talking to them on the phone. 

Wise words come from God. Without His help, we will falter.  When we include God in the conversation, He directs our tongue.

Since I’ve started following my dream of writing, words are all I think about.  God teaches me daily about the power words have.  Off-handed remarks cause deep wounds in people.  Words spoken years ago still cause hurt.  But God will give you wise words if you ask.  Words that heal.  Words that bring life.  Words that change people’s destiny.  All you have to do is ask.

Question of the Day:

Have you asked God to give you wise words?

Further Reading:2 Kings 15-16:20 NIV, Acts 19:13-41 NIV, Psalm 147:1-20 NIV, Proverbs 18:4-5 NIV

“Do not put your trust in princes,  in human beings, who cannot save.” (Psalm 146:3 NIV)

Trust God.  The only One who will never let you down is God.  He’s your savior, not people. He won’t disappoint you.  He will always listen.  He always shows up.  He hardly ever does what you think He should do, how He should do it, or when.  But you can put your trust in Him completely.  God knows best.

Man, on the other hand, is another story.  As trustworthy as I like to think I am, I’m not as trustworthy as God.  I try not to say anything about someone I wouldn’t say to them.  When a friend tells me not to tell anyone, I do my best to honor their wishes.  But I’ve faltered.  I’ve succumbed to my human emotions and said things in the heat of the moment I shouldn’t.  I have plenty of these regretful moments in my past.  When I think of one of them, I cringe.  I not only disappointed God, I disappointed myself.  I’m human, perfect is not a word found in the definition of humanity.  If you want perfect, trust God, not man.

Trust God not man.

The beauty of trusting God, not man, is we take the pressure off our loved ones.  For instance, I don’t expect my husband to meet all of my needs.  I never have, because I’m not supposed too.  Making my husband responsible for meeting all my needs is setting him up for failure.  He simply can’t, expecting him too is putting too much pressure on him.  I definitely do not want him to expect me to meet all of his needs, I know I can’t.

By not placing our trust in humans to save us, we’re giving them freedom.  If we aren’t expecting perfection, we are able to embrace people’s imperfections. We don’t have to let people “off the hook,” because we never put them on it in the first place.  If we don’t expect the people in our lives to save us, we won’t get mad at them when they don’t.  Instead, we can enjoy the person God created.  We can help them find His purpose in their lives.  We can share their journey, rejoicing when they rejoice, weeping when they weep.  

Human beings cannot save.  God is the only savior:

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”  (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

Let people off the hook.  Don’t expect people to do for you what only God can do.  Let people be people, let God be God.  Once we understand the difference in their roles, knowing who to trust is easier.  Trust God, not man.

Question of the Day:

Who are you expecting to save you?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 13:1-14:29 NIV,  Acts 18:23-19:12 NIV, Psalm 146 NIV, Proverbs 18:2-3 NIV

“The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” (Psalm 145: 8 NIV)

Slow to anger, rich in love.  Two traits of God we should all emulate.  God’s patience with us is grace.  He doesn’t respond in anger, He responds in grace. My current prayer is simple: grace not anger.  I want to respond to people with grace, not anger.  Having grace for others is something we can only do with God’s help.

Think of a toddler who is constantly falling down.  As you watch them learn how to walk, you don’t get angry.  You smile at their attempts and help them back up when they need it.  We’re the toddlers in God’s eyes.  He watches us take steps of faith.  He watches us when we falter.  He helps us back up when we need it.  He’s rich in love for us because we’re at least trying.  And even if we don’t try, He still loves us.

Grace not anger, love not hate.

In our humanity, responding in grace and love is difficult.  My husband and I went golfing.  Our plan was to walk nine holes.  I have a three-wheel cart I use to push my bag along.  My husband carries his.  He forgot my cart.  I went from a good mood to a bad mood in a matter of seconds.  Anger consumed me.  How could he forget the cart?  My immediate response was not grace.  I wanted to punish him for forgetting.  I made him carry my bag to the pro shop.  None of my actions were grace filled, I’m embarrassed to admit.

But then there’s God.  The Holy Spirit started to nudge me in my anger.  I recognized I was overreacting to the situation.  My anger didn’t subside immediately.  I had to work to control my emotions.  I had to allow reason to enter into my thinking.  I had to pray, “Grace not anger.”  Those three words became my mantra.  And the anger subsided.

I apologized to my husband.  I understand his actions were not intentional.  Even if they were intentional, anger is not the response I want to have.  I want to respond the way God responds to me: slow to anger, rich in love.

When we turn to God in the midst of our sin, He’s not angry.  He rejoices:

“In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (Luke 15:10 NIV)

God rejoices when we turn to Him.  He is slow to anger, quick to love.  The only way we can respond like God is with God.  For whatever difficult relationship you’re dealing with today, pray “Grace not Anger, Love not Hate.”  Watch how God uses a simple prayer to change your life.

Question of the Day:

Who do you need grace and love for today?

Further Reading:2 Kings 10:32-12:21 NIV, Acts 18:1-22 NIV, Psalm 145:1-21 NIV,  Proverbs 18:1 NIV

“Praise be to the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.” (Psalm 144:1 NIV)

God trains you for battle with the mundane.  The daily routines you do every day that keep you going become your weapons in times of duress.  God trained David by making him a shepherd (1 Samuel 17 NIV).  For years, David tended sheep.  He killed lions and bears to protect his herd.  When God needed someone to stand up to Goliath, David was battle ready. God used the daily activities of a shepherd to train David as a warrior.  God trains us the same way.

  God trains you for the battle with the mundane.

Peeling potatoes can train you for battle.  Washing laundry, cleaning house, cooking meals are all ways God trains us.  As we encounter the battles of life, the hard days that never seem to end, we find comfort in the mundane.  

COVID is a good example.  People fought the battle of COVID  by cleaning closets.  They painted rooms, started workout routines and planted gardens.  The mundane tasks fought the fear, the worry, the anxiety of an unseen virus. People prayed as they completed their tasks.  Daily battles won renewed people’s faith.  The mundane tasks of living gave people purpose when they needed purpose.  

Each day when we spend time with God, He trains us.  I know, I’m never the same person after spending time in God’s word, praying and meditating on what He has for me.  I’m amazed at how He grows me, ever so gently.  He prods me in different directions, guiding me where He wants me to go.  Most of the time, I have no idea what He is doing.  But I trust His plan.  I’ve learned understanding isn’t a requirement of faith.  Faith is accepting you’re not going to understand everything.  

One of our favorite movies is The Legend of Bagger Vance.  Set in 1931, the Great Depression was in full swing.  The movie was narrated from the vantage point of the young caddy who loved the game of golf.  The boy’s father became a street sweeper when he lost his job.  He made enough to provide for his family, but his young son was ashamed of him.  One of my favorite scenes is when Junuh, the hero of the story, addresses this with his young caddy.  He looks the young boy in the eyes and says:

“Your daddy stared adversity in the eye, Hardy.  And he beat it back with a broom.”

Each day God trains us.  He equips us with what we already have.  When adversity strikes, we beat it back with the mundane.  God has already trained you for whatever battle you’re facing.  He uses the mundane to win the battle.  Whatever we need, He’s already given us.  Trust His training, win the battle!

Question of the Day:

How has the mundane helped you win the battle?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 9:14-10:31 NIV, Acts 17  NIV, Psalm 144 NIV, Proverbs 17:27-28 NIV

“I remember the days of long ago;  I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.” (Psalm 143:5 NIV)

We focus on what we want God to do for us, without spending time thinking about what He has already done.  I have a box full of prayer journals in my guest bedroom closet. My practice of finding a scripture that speaks to me, then writing about  it is not new.  I’ve been writing in journals for years.  But rarely do I go back and read what I wrote.  Rarely do I spend time thinking about what God has already done for me. 

Instead, I’m busy telling God what I want Him to do for me today. The image of a choral director comes to mind.  As I’m praying, I’m directing God’s attention to whatever the current problem is.  Lord, this friend needs this, that friend needs that.  Everyone needs something.  Help them all God.  I’m not remembering, He already has a plan. He’s already written the book:

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

God has already written your book.

God has already provided everything you will need in this life. He knows what was, what is and what will be in your life. Time and time again, as you face challenges, He’s gotten you through. Situations you thought were impossible, He’s made possible.  He’s answered prayers in ways you couldn’t imagine.  He’s given you hope when you had none.  He’s helped you face your fears. 

One of my biggest fears is the loss of someone I love.  When I hear of tragic deaths, I immediately think of losing a loved one that way.  But then I remember when I did lose a loved one, how God carried me through those moments.  I remember how God gave me my husband at the perfect time.  He gave me a partner to help me through the loss of my mother, my nephew, my sister-in-law and my friend.  On all of those difficult days in my life, God had provided help.  When my husband lost his mom, I was there for him.  God provided for us when we needed help, before we ever needed it.

Now, when the anxiety of losing someone tries to steal my joy, I think of those difficult days.  I think of how God provided for us.  I remember the days of long ago, I consider what God has already done.  When I do, my anxiety lessens, my faith grows.

Remember what God has already done for you.  Let your faith grow, knowing God already has a plan.

Question of the Day:

What has God already done for you in your life?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 8:1-9:13 NIV, Acts 16:16-40 NIV, Psalm 143 NIV, Proverbs 17:26 NIV

“I cry aloud to the Lord;  I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.” (Psalm 142:1 NIV)

God is waiting for you.  He’s waiting for you to turn to Him.  He’s waiting for you to cry out to Him.  He’s waiting.

What keeps us from crying out?  For me, personally, pride.  I want to handle things on my own.  I don’t need anyone’s help.  Plus, I’m helping God if I don’t bother Him with my petty problems.  People are dying of cancer, I don’t need to bother God about a parking space.  But I’ve learned, those thoughts are not true.

We’re the ones who prioritize prayer requests, not God.

The hardest concept I’ve had understanding as a Christ follower is this one:  Everything is small stuff to God.  We’re the ones who prioritize prayer requests, not God.  Jesus says this:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

No where in the above verse is there a priority list.  We are all weary and burdened.  No one has a perfect life, no matter what it looks like from your perspective.  None of us live this life without pain and struggles.  

“I Still Believe” is a movie based on the life of Melissa Camp.  She died at the age of 21 from ovarian cancer.  Her faith and wisdom is still inspiring others.  Her story didn’t have the perfect ending from the vantage point of earth.  But from God’s view, her story is perfect.

Melissa had a child like faith.  Even in the midst of battling cancer, she didn’t lose her faith.  She believed God’s purpose was special.  She understood she was where God wanted her.  She understood this was her chosen path.  She accepted what God was doing in her life.  She lived in the moment, enjoying the people God gave her to love.  She never stopped seeking God, no matter what.

Jesus tells us to have childlike faith:

“And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 2:3 NIV)

Children’s faith believes God hears their prayers, no matter what they are.  When I was a child I prayed Mom would say yes to letting me spend the night at my friend’s house.  I asked God for a baton or whatever toy had my interest.  I believed He could answer all of those prayers.  And He did.  Mom either said yes or no, I either got the toy or I didn’t.  But I never doubted God had heard me.  I believe God has heard every prayer I’ve said over my lifetime.  Prayers I’ve forgotten I prayed.

God doesn’t prioritize our prayers.  Everything is small stuff to Him.  He’s waiting for you to turn to Him.  He’s waiting.

Question of the Day:

What are you afraid to ask God for in your life?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 6:1-7:20 NIV, Acts 15:36-16:15 NIV, Psalm 142 NIV, Proverbs 17:24-25 NIV

“It is my judgment, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.” (Acts 15:19 NIV)

Turning to God isn’t easy.  You can’t touch or see God like you can a person.  Believing in His existence is a huge step of faith for a lot of people.  We want what is tangible.  God is intangible.  I can understand why people have a hard time believing in Him.  For those of us who do believe, we can make believing easier for others.  The best way, accept them just as they are.

The best way, accept them just as they are.

Today’s verse comes from the Jerusalem Council.  The purpose of the council was to debate circumcision of the Gentiles.  The Jewish leaders wanted them circumcised.  After much discussion, the decision was made.  Circumcision is unnecessary for the Gentiles.  Peter argued God hadn’t discriminated when He sent the Holy Spirit.  Peter also pointed out why make them abide by a law that the Jews hadn’t kept.  Peter concluded his summation with this statement:

“No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.” (Acts 15:11 NIV)

Grace of Jesus is our salvation. God’s grace is available to everyone.  When others turn to God we should make it as easy for them as God made it for us.  Turning to God is as simple as saying, “I give up God.  My way isn’t working.  I want to try your way.”  God makes turning to Him so easy.  We should do the same.

First, when someone tells you they’ve turned to God, believe them.  We are not the judges of someone else’s heart.  Only God knows if they have truly turned their life over to Him.   Their actions will show you their heart change.  I love talking with new believers because they love talking about God.  They have a zest for life that is invigorating.  New Christ followers want to get to know Him better.  They want to understand His counter cultural ways.  Their passion is infectious.

Second, encourage them in their new found faith.  Don’t force the conversation.  Let them talk about whatever they want to talk about.  Engage with them in what is going on in their life at that moment.  Help them see how God is working in their lives.  Help them connect the dots of His presence in their life even before they placed their trust in Him.  Help them see how God has drawn them to Him all along.

Help them find God’s purpose for their life.  Their purpose isn’t the same as your purpose.  Walk with them as God reveals His plans to them.  Remind them, we never stop growing in Christ until God calls us back to Him.

Question of the Day:

How can you make turning to God easy for someone today?

Further Reading: 2 Kings 4:18-5:27 NIV, Acts 15:1-35 NIV, Psalm 141:1-10 NIV, Proverbs 17:23 NIV

“Keep me safe, Lord, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet.” (Psalm 140:4 NIV)

Another term for “wicked” is “toxic.”  Wicked people from Biblical times are toxic people in today’s world.  Toxic people drain you of life.  They are unsupportive, self-centered, and difficult.  “7 Types of Toxic People and How to Spot Them,” is an excellent article explaining toxic people.

We all have toxic people in our lives. Some we’ve known a lifetime, others we’ve met through a friend or in the workplace.  However they came into our life, God’s answer to toxic people is always the same: love.

“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV)

God protects us from the wicked with love.

The thing is, we don’t have to love toxic people up close.  When you identify someone in your life as toxic, you are the one who has to set healthy boundaries for the relationship.  Jesus was a master at this because He knew people’s hearts:

“But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.” (John 2:24-25 NIV)

The above verses come right after Jesus has kicked out the craft fair going on in the Temple.  He knows the toxicity in man’s hearts. And He set boundaries: He “did not entrust Himself to them” (v. 24).  Jesus understood He had to set healthy boundaries with man because man is incapable of doing it.

Setting healthy boundaries isn’t easy.  “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend helped me immensely.  I learned how to identify toxic people in my life and set boundaries.  I learned to identify areas in which I was toxic.  I’m still learning.  

The lesson hardest to learn for me: to set healthy boundaries, I have to work on my health.  I have to debunk lies I believe which allows toxic people to treat me as they do.  I have to realize I have self worth.  I have to recognize what my part is in the relationship and take responsibility for my actions.  I learned this from Jesus:

“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:5 NIV)

Once I deal with the speck in my eye, I can see clearly.  I can see what boundaries I need to create.  I can love that person from afar by continually praying for them.  I realize, my job isn’t to fix them.  My job is to pray for them.  God is their Savior, not me.

God protects us from the wicked with love.

Question of the Day:

What healthy boundary do you need to make?

Further Reading:2 Kings 3:1-4:17 NIV, Acts 14:8-28 NIV, Psalm 140 NIV, Proverbs 17:22 NIV

“Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” (Psalm 139:4 NIV)

God knows every word on your tongue before you do.  He knows what you say in secret to a friend.  He knows what you say in public for all to hear.  He knows what you posted on social media yesterday.  God knows everything about you:

“Lord, you have examined me and know all about me. You know when I sit down and when I get up.  You know my thoughts before I think them.  You know where I go and where I lie down.  You know everything I do.”  (Psalm 139:1-3 NCV)

God knows everything about you.

When we understand we can’t hide from God, we find freedom.  God loves you just the way you are.  He already knows everything about you.  The one thing you’re terrified someone will find out, God already knows.  He knows and He loves you:

“We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NIV)

Have you ever thought no one noticed you, only to realize someone is watching you?  I remember when I was in elementary school.  I was sitting in a corner at the back of the school bus.  I was amusing myself by frosting the window with my breath.  I didn’t realize all the kids around me were watching and laughing.  That happened over 40 years ago, the feeling of humiliation I felt has not left me. I remember feeling exposed, vulnerable and stupid.  Realizing God knows everything we do can evoke similar feelings.

I have times in my life I wish God didn’t know about.  I have made stupid decisions.  I have done stupid things.  I’ve harmed myself more than anyone has ever harmed me.  Even now, as hard as I chase after God daily, I still make stupid decisions and do stupid things.  But I no longer feel the way I felt that day on the bus.  I understand God’s deep love for me.  I realize, even in the moments where I think I’m stupid, God uses them to the good:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV)

The freedom we find in accepting God knows everything about us is love.  We realize God loves us because He created us.  He created each of us to live the lives we’re living, for a special purpose.  I don’t know what your specific purpose is on earth, but I know you have one.  We all do.  God’s not ashamed of you.  He knows everything about you, and He loves you.

God knows the words you’re going to say before you say them.  And that’s OK.

Question of the Day:

Is accepting God knows everything about you easy or hard for you?

Further Reading:  2 Kings 1:1-2:25 NIV,Acts 13:42-14:7 NIV, Psalm 139:1-24 NIV, Proverbs 17:19-21 NIV