Honest Reflections

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart,  but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 NIV)

God’s plans trump ours.  No one’s plans have worked out the way they thought they would.  Everyone has a different reality from what they thought.  

I recently watched a show on Apple TV called “Trying.”  A British comedy about a young couple “trying” to get pregnant.  In this scene, Nikki, the heroine is babysitting.  Her friend is having a baby, and Nikki is taking care of her daughter.  As they sit in the car eating ice cream, Nikki questions her young friend on her thoughts for having a sibling.  The girl isn’t happy, she has already realized, her parents don’t have as much time for her.  Nikki looks at her and says:

“You can’t get too attached to what you think your life’s going to be, that’s where your problems start.”

Nikki is a fictional character with wisdom.  All of us need to accept, life never goes as planned.  Ask any bride about her wedding day, she’ll tell you what went wrong.  The seniors who graduated in 2020 have learned this lesson young.  And when you talk to someone who has lived a long life, they can share story after story about the unexpectedness of their days.

God’s plans trump ours.

If we’re going to enjoy life to the fullest, we need to learn to ride the wave.

Where I live in Virginia, I’m close to the ocean.  I was 21 years old the first time I saw the massive body of water.  Thirty years later, I’m still in awe of the ocean’s raw power.  In the summer, we spend most weekends at the beach.  One of my favorite things to do is body surf.  Body surfing is catching a wave at just the right moment and riding it into shore.  You feel the power of the water as it carries you with it.  You can’t fight the waves, you can only go with them.  Literally, “go with the flow” of the tide.  At the end, when I’m dumped on shore, I feel exhilarated.  For a moment, I’m one with the ocean, moving in sync with its energy.   No other world exists, just pure pleasure in the moment.

Life is like the ocean.  Sometimes the water is calm, barely any waves.  Other times, the winds stir up and the waves are violent.  When the waves are crashing around you, the only thing to do is ride out the storm.  

We make our plans, but God’s plans trump ours. In order to enjoy the ride, we have to accept the truth.  God’s way is always best.  When we submit our lives to Him, He’ll teach us to surf.  We’ll learn to ride the waves, trusting Him for our destination.

Question of the Day:

What waves are you fighting today?

Further Reading: 2 Chronicles 1:1-3:17 NIV, Romans 6:1-23 NIV, Psalm 16 NIV, Proverbs 19:20-21 NIV

“Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people.” (Romans 5:18 NIV)

Eve’s bite of the apple condemned us.  Jesus’ sacrifice redeemed us.

Forbidden fruit makes many jams.  In the case of Eve, when she succumbed to temptation, sin entered the world.  Eve had no idea what she was doing when she bit into the fruit.  Most people don’t intentionally set out to cause destruction.  The alcoholic didn’t think taking the first sip of alcohol would ruin his life.  The adulteress didn’t think the harmless response to an email would start an affair.  The overeater didn’t think one piece of cake would lead to eating the entire cake.  We don’t intentionally go looking for trouble.  Neither did Eve.  She just wanted to taste the fruit.  When she did, sin entered the world.  Life changes in a moment

Life changes in a moment.

The first thing Eve did was share the fruit with Adam.  People feel better when they aren’t the only one doing something wrong.  We feel justified if someone else agrees with the decision we’re making.  We can always find someone who will go along with the rest of the crowd.  Finding someone who will take a stand against injustice is harder.  We all suffer from the effects of sin in our lives, whether our own or someone else’s.  Martin Luther King Jr. summed up our lot in life well:

“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re all in the same boat.”

We all live in a world of sin.  Each of us struggle with different sins.  We’re impacted by the sins of others.  We’re all in the same boat, we all need the same answer: Jesus.

“For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.” (Romans 5:19 NIV)

Jesus is the answer.  He gives us the strength to say no to temptation.  He faced every temptation we will ever face, yet did not succumb.  He gives us a way out.  He helps us set boundaries in our life to fight the battle of sin.  Whatever sin we struggle with each day, we can lay it at Jesus’ feet.  Jesus is the calm in the storm.  

Eve introduced sin in the world, Jesus provided the answer. 

Eating the fruit opened their eyes.  Their nakedness became apparent to them.  Their sin introduced a vulnerability in their lives they had never known.   God clothed them.  He covered their nakedness with the first sacrifice. 

Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice.  His one act clothed all of us in righteousness.  Eve introduces sin.  Jesus redeems us once and for all.

Question of the Day:

How has Jesus redeemed you?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 28:1-29:30 NIV, Romans 5:6-21NIV, Psalm 15:1-5 NIV, Proverbs 19:18-19 NIV

 “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God,” (Romans 4:20 NIV)

God has given you enough faith for your journey.  Whatever your path is, God has provided. 

Paul is talking about Abraham.  He is “father of many nations” (Romans 4:18 NIV).  He followed God’s commands his entire life.  He left his homeland to form a new nation.  Time and time again, he trusted God’s leading.  God gave him the faith he needed, when he needed it to do what he needed to do.  God has done the same for you.  Whatever faith you need, God will provide:

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”  (Romans 12:3 NIV)

Whatever faith you need, God will provide.

We don’t need faith to climb a mountain until we have a mountain to climb.  Abraham didn’t need faith to leave his homeland until God asked him too.  We don’t need faith for something God has for us 10 years from now.  We only need faith for today.  

Moses led the people out of Egypt.  The Israelites spent 40 years in the desert.  When they complained about lack of food, God provided for them:

“Then the Lord spoke to Moses. He said, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people must go out each day. Have them gather enough bread for that day. Here is how I will test them. I will see if they will follow my directions.” (Exodus 16:4 NIV)

God wanted to know if the Israelites trusted Him.

“The people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, and some gathered a little. When they measured it out, the one who gathered a lot didn’t have too much. And the one who gathered a little had enough. Everyone gathered only what they needed.” (Exodus 16:17-18 NIV)

God provided what each person needed in the amount they needed.  The only instruction, don’t keep any until morning. Just like the Israelites, God provides fresh bread for our lives each day.  We each need a different amount for what the Lord is calling us to do.  Whatever our divine purpose is, God will give us the faith to accomplish it.

We each have divine tasks.  In order to accomplish our task, God fills us with faith.  Whatever your facing today, no matter how difficult, God will give you the faith you need.  You have enough.  God will provide.  He’ll give you exactly what you need, when you need it.

Question of the Day:

How has God given you the faith you need for today?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 26:12-27:34 NIV, Romans 4:13-5:5 NIV, Psalm 14 NIV, Proverbs 19:17 NIV

“Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one  whose sin the Lord will never count against them.” (Romans 4:7-8 NIV)

Forgiveness builds our relationship with God, with others, and with ourselves.

Forgiveness is our network connection to God.  Recognizing God’s perfection requires recognizing our imperfection.  Everyone needs forgiveness.  Everyone has done something they judge “unforgivable.”   We all have something we’re afraid people will find out.  But when we take that act before God, He forgives it.   He takes our imperfections and makes them perfect.  He gives us new life with a clean slate.  All past mistakes are forgiven when we ask God to forgive them.  God forgives us, then He expects us to forgive others. 

Forgiveness allows you to move forward when we are offended.  When we hold onto an offense, we become stuck. We’re like a truck stuck in the mud.  Our tires spin round and round.  The more gas we give it, the faster the tires spin.  Mud flies from the wheels, covering anyone who is within range.  No matter how hard we try, we go nowhere.  We’re stuck in the mud pit of offense, flailing, as life passes us by.  But the moment we forgive, the wheels find traction.  We start to move forward.  We let go of the offense.  We embrace the life God has for us.  Forgiveness helps receive God’s goodness.

Forgiveness helps us receive God’s goodness.

I’m embracing a new technique I learned from Dr. Laurie Santos.  R.A.I.N.: Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Nurture.  

When I apply this method to an offense, it would look something like this.  First I recognize the feeling I’m experiencing attached to the offense.  Am I sad, disappointed, mad?  What emotion is the offense causing me to feel.  Once I’ve identified the emotion, I accept it.  I allow myself to feel the sadness, disappointment or anger.  Then I investigate why I’m feeling the emotion.  I ask myself, “Why is it evoking this response in me?”  This one question leads to self discovery.  We all have things we have yet to discover about ourselves.  Things other people know about us, but we don’t know it about ourselves.  And then I nurture.  I talk to myself the way I would talk to a friend.  I remind myself, in the case of offense, I’ve offended people too.  Whoever probably didn’t mean to hurt me.  I reframe the situation from a fresh perspective.  I forgive.  Then I move on to what God has for me next.

Just as God forgives us, and as we forgive others, we need to forgive ourselves.  Once God forgives, He forgets.  Allow yourself to forget too.  Let His grace fill you.  Let His grace lead you to His goodness.

Question of the Day:

Where is forgiveness needed in your life today?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 24:1-26:11NIV, Romans 4:1-12 NIV, Psalm 13 NIV, Proverbs 19:15-16 NIV

“This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile,  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:22-24 NIV)

God’s grace is waiting for your acceptance.  Each day His mercies are new.  You have the choice to accept His gift, or reject it.  We all reject God’s grace at some time or another.  We don’t feel like we’re worthy of the gift, therefore we can’t accept it.  But that isn’t true.  We may not deserve grace, but we can still receive it.  The truth is, Jesus died for you.  His actions were grace filled for you and me.  He died so we could live free from the constraints of this world.  In Him we find life anew.  But not until we accept  the gift Jesus gave us.

God’s grace is waiting for your acceptance.

I’m listening to a book titled, “Help, Thanks, Wow” by Anne Lamont.  The book is about prayer.  Anne talks about our need for prayer, to believe in a higher power.  A recent Gallup Poll found 87% of people believe in God.  The three prayers people pray the most, according to Lamont: help, thanks, wow!  In order for us to have a prayer relationship with God, we have to accept these three truths:

“We are so ruined.  We are so loved.  We are in charge of so little.”  Anne Lamont

To receive God’s grace, we need to be honest with ourselves.  We need to understand our circumstances so we can realistically respond to them.  I understand, I am a sinner.  I will continue to sin as long as I live.  Sinning is part of the human condition.  But I am also thoroughly loved by God.  His love came from heaven and rescued a sinner like me.  In His grace, I give authority to Him.  I trust His will for my life. I know He is in control of what I can’t control.   The same truth that applies to my life, applies to your life.

When we accept God’s grace for our lives, we take ourselves off the hook.  Fish flail wildly when hooked.  Sometimes they manage to free themselves, but most of the time they don’t.  Once caught, freedom is difficult. We can feel caught on the hook of life. But we can, through prayer and acceptance, let ourselves off the hook.

“Prayer is when we take ourselves off the hook and put God on the hook, which is where He should be.”  Priest Bill Rankin

Pray right now and accept God’s gift of grace for your life.  Put Him on the hook, see what happens.

Question of the Day:

Have you accepted God’s gift yet?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 22:1-23:32 NIV, Romans 3:9-31 NIV, Psalm 12 NIV, Proverbs 19:13-14 NIV

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

Focus on bad, you’ll find bad.  Focus on good, you’ll find good.

In life, we tend to zoom in on the things that aren’t great.  We let one minor offense ruin our day.  I’ve been guilty of this.  I’ve gotten mad at the person who cut me off in traffic.  I’ve created an entire narrative in my head about how insensitive and selfish they are.   A stranger causes me to lose my lid.  Chances are, they didn’t even realize they cut me off.  A lot of time they don’t, yet I think their actions are specifically targeted towards me.  The worst part is the time I  waste fuming over this minor infraction.   I let one bad moment rule my day.

Focus on bad, you’ll find bad.

If we don’t overlook an offense, we’ll only find more.  Once someone has offended you, everything they do becomes offensive.  We have to take charge of our thoughts.  We have to take charge of our actions.  We have to let the offense go so it doesn’t destroy our relationship, and our day.  The larger we perceive the offense, the harder it is to let go.  But only in the letting go, can we find freedom to live.

When someone cuts me off in traffic, I can let it go or let it grow.  If I immediately recognize the act wasn’t intentional, I have an easier time releasing it.  But if I don’t let the moment go, if I dwell on it, I’m focusing on the bad.  Once I start focusing on the bad, everything seems bad.  The sun is too hot, the line in the grocery store is too long, my husband too loud, the house too messy, the list goes on and on.  What we focus on determines what we find.

I listened to a podcast by Dr. Laurie Santos and Dr. Jamil Zaki.  They discussed strategies for happiness, based on scientific data.  Dr. Zaki talked about focusing our minds.  In this time of pandemic, the news focuses on the bad happening in the world.  Dr. Zaki suggested we focus on the good instead.  Because a lot of good is happening.  Search #COVIDKindness and you’ll find hundreds of posts of good deeds.  

Focus on the good, you’ll find good.  Don’t allow one bad moment ruin your entire day.  Instead, take a deep breath.  Focus on the air as it flows over your mouth, deep into your belly.  Close your eyes, concentrate on the slow intake of air filling your lungs to capacity.  Now let the breath go just as slowly.  Repeat as necessary.  Release the offense, embrace renewed life.

Question of the Day:

What offense do you need to release today?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 19-21 NIV,  Romans 2:25-3:8 NIV, Psalm 11:1-7 NIV, Proverbs 19:10-12 NIV

“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” (Romans 2:1 NIV)

Judging others brings judgement.  The term “egg on your face” has different theories on its origin.  John Ciardi was an American poet who studied words.  He theorized the phrase came from rowdy theatrical performances.  If a performer wasn’t up to par, the crowd would throw eggs at him.  As I picture the judgement we bring on ourselves when we judge others, I imagine it like getting pelted with eggs.  You lob one egg, you get hundreds thrown back at you.

Another common theory for “egg on your face” is simply having egg remnants left around your mouth after eating one.  The problem is, you don’t realize you have “egg on your face.”  Only those looking at you can see the problem.  Even in this scenario, if we’re judging someone else, we’re doing it while looking foolish.  Either way, when you judge others, you end up with egg on your face.

Judging others brings judgement.

Judging is easy to do.  We all judge.  When you walk in a room you make judgements: Is the room empty?  What’s the temperature of the room?  Is the room clean? All of these thoughts run through our mind without even realizing it.  Judging our environment is a normal part of life.  We need to judge to know what to do: turn off the lights, turn on the lights, raise the temperature, lower the temperature, etc.  Judging helps us assess our current position in life and determine what course of action we need to take.

People are part of our environment.  We judge them as easily as we do a room.  What we do with our judgements is key to our relationship with God.  Are we using our judgements to love people better?  Or are we using them to make ourselves feel better about our lives?

For instance, I had coffee with a friend recently.  I noticed immediately how tired she looked.  She doesn’t usually look tired, I judged quickly, something was wrong.  With love, I asked her if everything was ok?  I expressed my concern for her lack of sleep.  She appreciated that I had noticed and went on to tell me what was going on in her life.  We drew closer because of my judgement.

But I’ve also handled judgement wrong.  I’ve assumed I knew what someone else was thinking when I didn’t.  Faulty judgements bring judgement on ourselves.  If we don’t have all the facts, we shouldn’t judge.  Judging ends with “egg on your face,” one way or the other.

Question of the Day:

Who or what have you misjudged lately?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 16:37-18:17 NIV, Romans 2:1-24 NIV, Psalm 10:16-18 NIV, Proverbs 19:8-9 NIV

“Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.”  (Romans 1:28 NIV)

Sometimes, God’s judgement is letting us have what we want.  Paul, in his letter to the Roman’s describes how God let people do what they wanted to do:

“Therefore God gave them over to the sinful desires of their hearts…” (Romans 1:24 NIV)

One of God’s gifts to us is free will.  This topic is highly debatable.  Perspectives on free will vary greatly.  But we all have the right to choose how we live our lives.  God gave us that as a gift.  We can choose to spend our lives pursuing a relationship with God, or not. 

People choose not to follow God every day.  And even those of us who are following God have moments in our day when we choose not too.  Our problem: we think we know best, but we really don’t.  We make bad choices because we don’t have all the information.  Only God knows all the details.  Only God knows what’s truly best for you.  What we want isn’t always what’s best.

What we want isn’t always what’s best.

When I was younger, I didn’t want anyone telling me what to do.  I thought I knew what was best for my life.  I refused to listen to anyone, including God.  As a result, men took advantage of my gullibility. I lived beyond my means and incurred thousands of dollars in debt.  I alienated my friends and family.  I struggled with alcohol.  My life was a wreck.  As I’ve said many times, “I spent my 20’s screwing my life up.  I spent my thirties healing from my 20’s.”  My life didn’t turn around until I admitted, I wasn’t making good choices.

Admitting the choices we are making are not good ones is tough.  We all make bad choices.  Accepting our own imperfections is harder than accepting others.  We can justify why someone did something because of whatever is going on in their life at the moment.  Yet we don’t give ourselves the same grace.  We don’t let ourselves off the hook. 

God wants us to let ourselves off the hook.  He wants us to give Him our bad choices.  He’ll help us overcome them.  He’ll guide us into a new way of living where we make better choices.  As we grow in our relationship with Him, our steps will become surer.  Our trust in Him deeper, as He navigates us through the days of our lives.

Giving us what we want isn’t always what is best.  Trusting God’s will is always the best choice, even if we don’t understand it.

Question of the Day:

What choice do you need to give to God today?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 15:1-16:36 NIV, Romans 1:18-32 NIV,  Psalm 10:1-15 NIV,  Proverbs 19:6-7 NIV

“First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world.” (Romans 1:8 NIV)

Other people’s faith helps build our faith.  When we hear the stories of what people do because of their faith, it strengthens us.  What seems trivial to us is a mountain to someone else.  Jesus set an example for us with His actions.  He did things we can do.  When we do the things Jesus did, it affects others like Jesus’ actions affect us.

My pastor has a faith like few I know.  I have followed his faith journey for years.  I’ve watched as he’s overcome adversity.  I’ve seen his persistent faith in the midst of tragedy.  Each week when we have our prayer meeting, his words amaze me.  He’s followed Jesus for over 60 years.  In the midst of tragedies, he relies on God’s grace.  Because of him, my faith has deepened.  His belief strengthens my belief.

Other people’s faith helps build our faith.

Faith heroes are something we all need.  People who have gone before us, trusting Jesus.  People whose faith has carried them through the most difficult of times.  Even people who have gone to heaven are still with us, still inspiring us.  

My father lost his first wife to cancer.  He lost two children, one still born, the other at just 14 months old.  He had twin daughters, Linda woke up fine in the morning, developed a fever and was gone by the next morning, pneumonia.  He froze his feet working the winter after I was born.  This event led to gangrene, which led to the amputation of his leg.  Yet through all of that his faith persevered.  He never gave up.  His faith didn’t waver.  He never stopped trusting Jesus.

His faith grew because of his father’s.  My older brothers, who knew my grandfather better than I, told me of his faith.  My grandfather read the Bible every night.  He always read cover to cover.  When he finished, he would start again from the beginning.  I’ve developed the same habit.  I think of my grandfather often as I read through the Bible each year.

We were made for fellowship with other believers.  We need each other to encourage and grow our faith.  God designed us to work together as one body:

“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.” (1 Corinthians 12:12 ESV)

When we live our lives by faith, we encourage others.  Lives lived by faith will impact others  far greater than imagined.  Their faith filled lives will resonate long after they’ve left this earth, affecting generations to come.  Other people’s faith helps build our faith.

Question of the Day:

How can your faith filled life impact someone else’s today?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 12:19-14:17 NIV, Romans 1:1-17 NIV,  Psalm 9:13-20 NIV, Proverbs 19:4-5 NIV

“But Paul shook the snake off into the fire and suffered no ill effects.” (Acts 28:5 NIV)

If you’re in God’s will, snake bites don’t harm you.  Paul was a man all in with God.  From the time of his conversion until the time of his death, he never stopped sharing the gospel.  

If Paul could take a picture of his current situation, you would question his loyalty to God.  He’s just survived a shipwreck.  He’s starving.  He’s washed ashore on an island with a bunch of hungry sailors.  And when he builds a fire, a snake jumps out and bites him.  The snake doesn’t harm him.  His life is in chaos from a worldly perspective, but he’s exactly where God wants him.  In God’s will, Paul is safe.  In His will, the devil’s attacks have no power.

In God’s will, the devil’s attacks have no power.

When we are in God’s will, we are safe.  We understand God’s truth:

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.  (John 14:16-17 NIV)

The Spirit of Truth fills Paul.  He accepted life’s hard truths.

“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

The current circumstances didn’t concern Paul.  He knew Jesus overcame the world.  He knew the truth.

We talked the other day about the beginning of Paul’s journey.  God told Him, “Do not be afraid” (Acts 27:24 NIV).  Now you know why God sent an Angel Text to Paul.  God knew the road ahead.  He knew the trials Paul would face.  God wanted Paul to keep his focus on Him.  An angel appearing with a message is hard to forget.  

Paul didn’t have the availability of the Bible like we do.   He didn’t schedule daily devotions.  His life was a daily devotion. He didn’t have a pocket version of the New Testament, because it didn’t exist.  In fact, Paul wrote the majority of the New Testament.  His love letters to the churches are what we read today.  

Paul knew, if the snake was going to kill him, it would kill him.  If God wanted him in heaven, great.  If He didn’t great:

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Phil. 1:21 NIV)

Place your heart in God’s hands like Paul did.  Stay focused by spending time with God daily.  Let a life well lived be your devotion back to God.  In His will you are safe.

Question of the Day:

What prompting from God are you not following?

Further Reading: 1 Chronicles 11:1-12:18 NIV, Acts 28 NIV, Psalm 9:1-12 NIV, Proverbs 19:1-3 NIV