Two-minute read.
What we put into our hearts determines what comes out of them. For years, when I worked for Nautica, I listened to crime mysteries while driving around my territory. The stories with violence against women began to affect my sleep, giving me nightmares. Realizing that I had listened to one too many suspense novels, I stopped playing them. Instead, I began listening to church messages, podcasts, and Christian books on different topics. As a result, the nightmares lessened, and my faith grew.
We must protect our hearts. In friendship, that means setting appropriate boundaries. When we discover someone has trust issues, we must keep them at arm’s length; if someone proves themselves trustworthy, we can allow them closer to our hearts. Relationships can only go as deep as the trust between them.
For instance, Jesus proves Himself trustworthy time after time. The more I put His teachings into practice, the deeper my trust and relationship with Him grows. However, the friend whom I discovered lied to me for years, mainly because she lies to herself, has stunted our friendship. Because she constantly lies, I can’t believe anything that comes out of her mouth, and so we have a very distant friendship. Until she becomes healthy, we can’t have a healthy relationship, and I must protect my heart.
Friendship requires boundaries. Within scripture, we discover the Lord’s guidelines for healthy relationships, better than any self-help book. If we develop our friendships over time, setting and adjusting appropriate boundaries happens naturally. We’ll learn to protect our hearts from untrustworthy people and open them to those whom we can trust. Allowing Jesus to lead the way will illuminate our path and help us create fruitful friendships.
When I first discovered my friend’s lying, it devastated me. For months, I asked people, “How can you have a relationship with someone you can’t trust?” No one had an answer for me. But as I prayed through the situation, God opened my eyes to things I hadn’t seen before. Discovering that she lied to herself more than anyone else showed me how to pray. I asked the Lord to give her eyes to see and ears to hear, and prayed she would give her life to the Savior. And I set boundaries that protected my heart until she got the help she needed. We can’t do the work for people; they must do it for themselves, and so I pray she does.
Protective boundaries guard our hearts and allow us to fill them with things of the Lord that will cause an abundance of love to flow from us.
Journal Questions:
When have you let the wrong thing into your heart?
In what ways do you guard your heart?
When have you had to set protective boundaries?
Friendship Application:
Guard your heart by setting protective boundaries for what enters it.
