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“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.”  Psalms 56:3 CSB

I was thinking this morning about the first email I ever sent to my husband Ron.  We met playing on a tennis team together. I made the first move, shockingly. We were paired up by our Captain, literally and metaphorically, now that I think about it.  We hadn’t lost a single match, but he was going to be out of town the next week, I was going to have to play with someone else.

I liked him so much, I was willing to send him an email and risk rejection. I asked him to please try and get home in time for the match. Of course, I worded it as sweet as I possibly could, which is not easy for me.  He did make it back. We lost our first match because he was so tired. But who cares about the match, because I got to be with him.

That’s a cute story, but it in no way conveys how hard it was for me to send that email.  At 40 years old, unmarried, having heartbreak after heartbreak, do you think I wanted to try again?  Heck no. You know what helped me overcome my fear of rejection? GOD. No one else, just Him. People had hurt me so desperately by this point in my life, I didn’t trust anyone.  I had put it all in God.

You know what I was thinking when I sent that email?  “Well, if he doesn’t like me God, I know You do.” That is how I overcame my fear, by trusting God.  As a result of sending that email I can now say I have been married to him just shy of seven years. He is the love of my life, my soul mate.  I literally thank the Lord for him everyday; I’m constantly praying for decades more together. But to get to this, I had to get over that.

People miss the in-between, the small steps they can’t see.  Thomas Edison discovered the light bulb. He filed his first patent in 1878 but it took two years to actually begin production.  That was two years of late nights, long days. That’s two years of failures and rejections. That’s two years of sweat and tears.  To invent the lightbulb, which we now take for granted and throw away in hordes. The further we get away from the work it took to make it, the easier it is to take it for granted.  And all of that work took faith. It took willingness to fail, willingness to get rejected, willingness to trust that no matter what, God is always with you.

There is not a journey without a step. You cannot overcome fear without trust in God.

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