When There Are No Words

“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:12
When tragedy strikes, there are no words.  The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming.  The pain felt for those involved is paralyzing.  It is almost unspeakable. As a result, people shy away because they are afraid they will say the wrong thing.
The truth is, there are words, and they are simple.  “I love you.  I’m praying for you.”  Those are all the words you need to say.  What people need in the midst of tragedy is your presence.  Your support.  They need you to pray for them when they don’t know what to pray.  When their grief and their pain is so extreme, they can barely breathe they need you to do it for them.  They need you to stand in the gap and pray for them.  They need you to hold them in their arms and love them.  They need your presence.
When my nephew died four years ago the first words I said to his Mom at the hospital were “Can I hug you?”  She fell in my arms and cried.  I didn’t utter another word.  As we moved through the days that followed, I talked little.  I hugged much.  There weren’t words I could ever say that would bring her son back, but I could hold her while she cried.  I could be present for her.
And while I held her I prayed.  I prayed for her and my brother. I prayed for God to comfort them.  I prayed for my niece as she walked through losing her brother.  I prayed for them to feel His presence.  I prayed for God to give them strength for the days and years ahead.  I asked God to show me how I could help, what could I do?  I stood in the gap for them when they couldn’t pray.
I prayed, then I prayed some more.
In the midst of tragedy, it isn’t your words people will remember, it is your presence.  It is your prayers they need, your specific and passionate prayers as you cry out to God for them on their behalf.  God is in the midst of tragedy:
“Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4
Tragedy has occurred in the lives of dear friends.  There are no words to describe the depth of pain it has left in their lives.  My message was simple when I called, “I love you.  I’m praying for you. What can I do?”
Even though there is nothing physically I can do, I can pray.  I can continue to pray for them as they move through the days ahead.  I can be present for them, for their loved ones, for their church.
I am praying they find God in the midst of this tragedy.  I am praying He reveals himself to them.  I am praying they feel His presence in the midst of this darkness.  I am praying He comforts their broken hearts.  I am praying continuously for all of the lives which have been affected by this terrible loss. I am praying, and I won’t stop.
When there are no words, there is prayer.
 
 
 
 

God-O-Matic

“The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all.” Psalm 34:19
I was reading my devotional this morning by Rick Warren.  He is talking about struggles in life, more specifically, why do they continue to go on and on.  I love what he said:
“Here’s the lesson: When God allows a crisis into your life, He doesn’t solve it immediately.  He lets it go on for a while because He wants to see if you’re really serious about seeking Him.  If God answered every prayer immediately, you’d begin to think God was a big vending machine:  Put in Prayer, Pull out whatever you Need.”
He’s got a point!
I’m studying the book of Ruth in my women’s group right now.  Last week, we were studying when Elimelech moved his family from Bethlehem to Israel, focusing on Ruth 1:1-7.  One point the author had us ponder was WHY did Elimelech move his family?
Bethelehem was in the midst of a famine when he made the decision to move his wife and sons.  They stayed in Moab for at least 10 years.  During their stay there, Elimelech and both of his sons died.  Naomi, his wife was left a widow with her two daughters-in-law Orpah and Ruth.  She hears the famine has lifted in Bethlehem in verse 6:
“…the Lord had paid attention to His people’s need by providing them food.”
God had allowed a famine to enter Elimelech’s life.  It didn’t end overnight but went on for years.  Instead of waiting on God to provide, he moved to a foreign land.  A land which held great tragedy for his family.  What would have happened if He had waited on God in Bethlehem?  What miracles did he miss out on because of his impatience?  We’ll never know.
What miracles are you missing out on because you aren’t willing to wait on God in the midst of the struggle?
Are you trying to solve your current struggle yourself or are you seeking Jesus?  Have you looked into His word to see what it says about your situation?  Is it relational?  The Bible has a lot to say about how to have healthy relationships.  How about financial?  There are more verses about money in the Bible than there are about salvation.  God knew we would need them.
Whatever it is you are struggling with today, don’t try to fix it.  Instead, turn to God.  Seek Him in prayer, read His word, talk to wise counselors in the faith.  He knows you’re struggling.  He has a plan.  All He wants is for you to seek Him in it.
 

One of My Best Valentine's

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ”  1 Corinthians 13:4-5
When one thinks of Valentine’s day, they think of love.  Typically the love shared between man and woman.  The dozen roses, the chocolates, the cards filled with poetry.  I am grateful God brought me someone to share the romantic side of Valentine’s Day, absolutely.  However one of my favorite Valentine’s Day has nothing to do with that kind of love.
I was single for over 40 years of my life.  I’ve had many more Valentine’s Day alone than sharing with someone special.  I used to dread it as the day approached.  I’d hear the platitudes, “It’s just a day Hallmark uses to sell cards.”  “Trust me honey, you’re better off alone than with someone who doesn’t treat you well.”  You get the gist.
Looking back though, I realize, I did have the perfect Valentine those years I was alone.  It was my Mom.
My Mom loved Valentine’s day.  She would always send cards to all of her kids.  She sent them to family and friends.  There were Valentine’s decorations around her house.  I was always guaranteed to get some type of Valentine’s present, usually some chocolates.  In later years, it was flowers.  I always took it for granted, as we tend to do.
Our last Valentine’s day together was four years ago.  It was her last lucid evening before she passed.  I’ll never forget it.  She was in her hospital bed in her bedroom at her home.  She was weak, had lost a lot of weight due to cancer.  She had just become bedridden a few days before.  My husband was with me, as well as some close friends.  I brought her a Bloomin’ Onion from Outback.  It was always one of her favorite foods.
I remember spending the evening around her bed with her.  Surrounded by people I love.  I didn’t know at the time it would be the last time I would have a conversation with her.  I had no idea in less than 36 hours she would be in the arms of Jesus.  I just knew I was with her.
I knew I was honoring her.  I knew she was exactly where she wanted be, doing exactly what she wanted to do.  When I think of my mother’s life, I always think of how she lived it.
She lived it the way she wanted too.  She did what she wanted to do.  When she made a mistake she accepted responsibility for it and moved on to the next thing.  She never let life get her down.  When Dad died leaving her with three teenagers, she kept going.  When I was less than a stellar daughter, she kept loving and praying me through it.  My brothers tested her too. She just kept going.  She held her head up high and kept going.
I’m grateful for her.  When she passed, she died the way she wanted too, at home, in her bed.  She is one of the few people I can honestly say, she lived the way she wanted to and died the way she wanted to.
There will never be another Valentine’s Day I don’t think of the last one I spent with her.  It was truly an evening of love.
 

When is the Right Time?

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
I am currently listening to “When, The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing”  by Daniel H. Pink.  I find it fascinating the things people commit their lives too.  This entire book is about the study of time.
I’m about half way through it.  I have two thoughts as I’m listening to this book.  The first is, quite honestly, don’t you have anything better to do than study time?  The second is, you can’t put God in a box.
You know who has perfect timing?  It’s God.  Hands down, best timing ever!
So far, according to this book, there is a best time to think, there is a best time to exercise, there is a best time to take a nap.  If you optimize their studies and apply it to your life, you’ll learn how to live your life in a way that will always allow you to operate at peak performance.
Hogwash!
I’m not disagreeing that on an average day, I probably do make better decisions in the morning versus the afternoon when I’m not quite as fresh.  It makes sense if you want to lose weight, exercise in the morning before you eat and you’ll burn fat.  I believe an afternoon catnap can make you more productive the rest of the day.  These are all good points.
But God isn’t a point.  He is the Creator with a plan!
Romans 8:28 tells us all things work to the good for those who believe and trust in the Lord.  You know what that tells me?  That even if at 4:12 in the afternoon, when I am tired from an already long day, God can use any decision I make to the good.
See, I’ve learned in the 40 some years I’ve been walking with God, admittedly sometimes closer than others,  Romans 8:28 is true.  He does use all things to the good for those who believe and trust in Him.
He has used my fumbling’s, my blundering’s in ways I can’t even imagine.  In fact, I would go so far to say those have impacted people’s lives more than the things I’ve done right.  And the pains I’ve endured in this lifetime, not a one of them He hasn’t used to help others, in ways I wouldn’t of imagined.
I’ll finish the book.  I hate to leave a book unfinished.  I’ll glean some valuable tips from it.  But I know, if you truly want to have perfect timing you have to trust God for it.  No human on earth will ever find a formula to trump it!

This Is Us!

 “Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.”  Proverbs 14:26
I just watched “This is Us”, the episode that explained how their dad died.  If you don’t watch the show, you will have no idea what I’m talking about, which is completely fine.
I am a woman who lost her dad when she was 16 years old.  It touched a lot of heart strings for me.  More than I realized were still there.  As  I watched the show, as I watched them tell the daughter her daddy was gone, it broke my heart.  I remember the day my Dad died.  Like Kate in the show, I have regrets.  There were things I could of done that I didn’t, like go visit him at the hospital.  I didn’t go that day, I wanted to sleep in.  I knew the minute my Mom and little brother pulled out of the driveway I had made a mistake.  It was too late.
I called Dad.  He answered the phone.  I’ll never forget it.  I was crying.  I told him I was so sorry I didn’t come.  He forgave me.  Then he told me it was time to say goodbye.  Somehow, he knew too.  I will never understand how he knew.  He let me off the hook.  He told me he would see me again.  I had the opportunity to tell him one last time I loved him.  He told me he loved me too and he would see me soon.
He didn’t die that day, at around 4:00 in the afternoon he drifted into a coma.  My Mom and little brother had barely arrived home when the hospital called us.  We immediately rushed to the hospital to be by his side.
He died two and a half days later.  That is how long it took for all of his family to get there.  The last was my sister-in-law who came from VA.  Her and my Dad a special relationship.  He waited for her.  It was moments afterwards that he passed.  We were all standing around his bed as he took his last breath.
It was surreal.  He took one long breath.  I thought that was it, then he took another long breath.  Then he was gone.  I see it as clearly as if it was yesterday.
When my Dad died, I lost my hero.  He was perfect in my eyes.  Learning that he wasn’t was a hard lesson.  I had him on such a pedestal that when he fell off it, let’s just say it sent my world into turmoil.
I was so young when my Dad died, yet I hear him in my head. “If you’re going to do something, do it right!”  or “Don’t do it half a**ed, do it right!”  My Dad was big on doing it to the best of your ability.  “Do it right or don’t do it at all.”  That has served me well in my life.
My favorite job is my volunteer job.  I love being able to give my time away.  I love that God signs my check.  He signs my benefits.  I love giving it my all.  In my head, I hear my Dad.  I hear his euphemisms in my head and I work harder.   My most favorite thing is doing it right. Every time I do, every time I don’t cut shortcuts, every time I hear my Dad.  “Job well done!”
I’m grateful he taught me how to do my tasks well.  I feel God’s pleasure when I do.  There is nothing else like it.
But wow, I miss my Dad!  So much!