{"id":393,"date":"2018-07-28T14:58:56","date_gmt":"2018-07-28T14:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/shop.honestreflections.net\/?p=393"},"modified":"2019-12-10T08:43:56","modified_gmt":"2019-12-10T13:43:56","slug":"dont-assume-you-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/2018\/07\/28\/dont-assume-you-know\/","title":{"rendered":"Don't Assume You Know"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cFor my thoughts\u00a0are not your thoughts,\u00a0<\/span>neither are your ways my ways,\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span>declares the\u00a0Lord<\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cAs the heavens are higher than the earth,\u00a0<\/span>so are my ways higher than your ways\u00a0<\/span><\/span>and my thoughts than your thoughts.”\u00a0 Isaiah 55:8-9<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/em>
\nI honestly can’t remember which book I was reading that talked about not assigning thoughts to people.\u00a0 In other words, don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking, especially about you.\u00a0 We project our thoughts and feelings onto someone else.\u00a0 I’ve been pondering this for weeks.\u00a0 I’ve realized I do it without even realizing it.
\nFor instance,\u00a0 when I was teaching the tennis serve to a student.\u00a0 She was having a hard time with her toss. I know how frustrating it can be so I assumed she was frustrated.\u00a0 When I said something to her, she wasn’t frustrated at all. She hadn’t even noticed her toss was off because she was still hitting the ball.\u00a0 She was just happy to hit the ball.\u00a0 I was completely wrong\u00a0 about what she was thinking.
\nI’m often wrong when I think my husband is hungry because I’m hungry.\u00a0 I’m wrong when I think he must be cold because I’m cold, or tired because I’m tired.\u00a0 I’m wrong when I think a friend is irritated at me because she hasn’t instantly responded to my text.
\nIn cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) this tendency is referred to as a mind-reading error which is the belief that you know what someone else thinks or feels. When you act upon that assumption and it is wrong, problems can occur in the relationship. For instance, people may make accusations based on their assumptions: \u201cI know you think my idea is stupid\u2014you’re such a critical person!\u201d or \u201cYou would rather be with her than with me.\u201d
\nOften what a person sees in others is their own thoughts and feelings reflected back at them. If they are self-critical, they believe others are critical of them. If they are insecure, they believe others couldn’t possibly like them or consider them competent.
\nIt really is a struggle to not assume you know what someone else is thinking.\u00a0 I find myself battling this often.\u00a0 I have begun to recognize when I am doing this.\u00a0 I’ve found one easy way to catch myself is when I’m assigning a negative thought to someone.\u00a0 “She’s mad at me.”, “I’m bothering her.” etc.\u00a0 These quickly tell me I’m doing some mind reading.\u00a0 I remind myself I don’t know.\u00a0 Don’t make assumptions.
\nEven more challenging is to realize we don’t know what God is thinking.\u00a0 We automatically assume He’s upset with us for this or that.\u00a0 We think there is no way He could forgive us for whatever sin we’ve committed.\u00a0 We often think other people deserve His blessing but we really don’t.\u00a0 None of those statements are true.\u00a0 His word tells us He loves us (John 3:16). He forgives us (Psalm 103:12).\u00a0 We are the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).\u00a0 \u00a0He wants to bless us. (Psalm 20:4).
\nIt’s true we don’t know what other people are thinking about us, but we can know what God thinks.\u00a0 When we spend time in His word we quickly realize\u00a0 how much He loves us.\u00a0 We may not know what He is up too, often we don’t.\u00a0 \u00a0We don’t need to know that.\u00a0 We trust it is good, no matter what the circumstances look like. What we do need to know is how much He loves us.\u00a0 All of us.
\nI’m working on giving up the mind reading.\u00a0 Instead, I’m trying to focus on what I do know.\u00a0 God loves me, unconditionally.\u00a0 I’m to love others the same way.\u00a0 I find loving others, no matter what, helps me give them the benefit of the doubt.\u00a0 I stop assuming the worst, instead I look for ways to love them.\u00a0 That is way more fun and a lot less frustrating.
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\u201cFor my thoughts\u00a0are not your thoughts,\u00a0neither are your ways my ways,\u201d\u00a0declares the\u00a0Lord.\u00a0\u201cAs the heavens are higher than the earth,\u00a0so are my ways higher than your ways\u00a0and my thoughts than your thoughts.”\u00a0 Isaiah 55:8-9 I honestly can’t remember which book I was reading that talked about not assigning thoughts to people.\u00a0 In other words, don’t assume… Continue reading Don't Assume You Know<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-393","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","without-featured-image"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=393"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1539,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/393\/revisions\/1539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honestreflections.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}